How do I confront my husband about his cheating?
Assalam O Alaikum everyone,
I am 30 years of age and have been married to my cousin for 12 years, I have 3 children whom are my everything. From the first year of marrigae I've been experiencing troubles. I have been heartboken over and over again. In the beginning I would turn to family whom sided a lot with my husband believing my husbands lies that I was the reason he hated staying home and that I would always yell and scream and swear at him for coming home at 3-4 in the morning and that I showed him no respect.
He has held this against me until this day. He blames me for his dirty deeds. He use to hang out with the worst croud who spent all their days and night gambling flirting, cheating and drinking. I blamed my husbands actions on peer pressure as he was highly influenced by his mates. Six years passed and my father finally gave my husband a final ultimatum which was to leave the rebellious crowd his hanging out with or to leave me. My husband ended up leaving the crowd alhamdullilah and became a better husband, father and muslim.
He prays fasts and speaks of going to hajj inshallah. We have been happily married since then up until two days ago. I was shattered, my heart was broken once again. I have no physical evidence at this point but I have found a number of a women in his phone. This is the same number I found with him about two years ago. Back then he fooled me into believing that he would call her to make orders for our business (stupid me believed him). I have not confronted him as yet however I know that he knows I'm suspicious from my constant questions.
A couple of days ago as we were both sitting he asked me if he can take my new car to work rather than his bombshell. This is when my suspicions began, he also said that he was going to be visiting a freind who is leaving overeseas after work that night and wont be home till late. I didn't say a word. He didn't take my car, however he did come home at 1 am that morning. When he woke up in the morning he had a shower before going to work, which I found very unusual because he only has a shower after sexual intercourse with me which is almost on a daily basis. I have never had issues with oue sex life never has he.
I wanted to just bury my suspicions and let it go but, I was too shaken by it all and couldn't get it out of my head. I began further investigating. I called and confirmed that he wasn't at his mates house at all that night and that he had left work at 11pm rather than 12am. I was devastated; I could barely stand on feet. I felt so weak and all I kept thinking about was my children and how they would react if I left their father who they adore dearly. I also love my husband but I am sick of constanly being heart broken. I dont know what to do and whether or not to leave him.
He has done a lot for himself since leaving the bad crowed he once hanged out with. We own three homes and a business and he seems very overprotective of me and the kids and makes sure we all pray and follow the right path. I feel he is being a little hypocritical. How can one pray and fear Allah swt and yet commit adultery. I would appretiate any advice on what I should do. Do I leave him or continue to live my life as though nothing has happened? Please tell me how do I confront him with the evidence of have on him and what do I say? I am so scared and confused HELP !
34 Responses »
Leave a Response