How do I get over him? Was he faithful?
Salam , i am very depressed right now and feel very guilty! 5/6 years ago we had made an account to check up on our friends boyfriend whether he is a flirt or not and we had used our other friends pictures , it got too long and then one guy added me there and he got very involved , he asked for my number i have no idea why and how but i ended up giving him my number we spoke of the phone for ages and ages and he used to share everything with me call me when upset and everything basically in every moment of his life he just wanted me ,
after 5 months he one day asked me to do something which shocked me he was trying to sexually try to turn me on over the phone (masturbate) i was like shocked and said what is wrong with you however he didnt give up few times he tried and i guess shaytan won in this and he got me in it he would do this every night when he would call me , i feel so depressed over that now however one day when i realised enough is enough this is wrong then i just cut all ties with him and blocked him of that fake account too because i thought this was wrong what he was doing also its wrong for me to make him fall in love with me too because thats playing with his feelings , then i did not speak to him for years and in that time i found out he went through the worst ever depression ever and went crazy and apparently all this just because of me the guilt was killing me inside when i spoke to him after years i randomly contacted him just to apologise and to tell him the truth and what shocked me was that he was still waiting for me he goes was over the moon when i contacted him i said look i need to tell you something we cant be together but he just wouldnt listen to me at all and i apologised he goes be mine i will send mum over i said i cant be in your life he goes at least be in it as a friend i cant imagine it without you he was crying and begging and i said ok fine !
In these times he had asked millions of times since the start of all this that meet me i never met him, being fake obviously i couldnt meet him, i would make excuses and he would rely on them i would tell him millions of times that look find someone else who youve met just dont rely on me he goes il wait for you forever and what not i said i cant be with you still he goes be friends only he was crying so much that i was too scared to even tell that oh this was just a different person you fell in love with because he was too sensitive however he didnt go out or even flirt with someone throughout these years then in 2013 went i went back to him after years and then again he asked to meet , i made excuse again he was very emotional that scared me , he goes i will never get married to anyone else and il go crazy ! He scared me however his attention started to get diverted that year toward someone else by july , i came back into his life january 2013 anyways the girl he got to know he was spending time with her however he hadnt told me yet he told me years later that she used to kiss him and everything but when he used to asked her are we in a relationship she used to say we are just friends so he goes to me i hadn't cheated on you because i wasn't with her even though he was kissing and all ,
then in September he randomly one day i still remember 17 september he messages me that im leaving you goodbye ! He left from my life for that girl i was heartbroken but i hadnt stopped him at all because i knew i was fake and he found true love who spends time with him so it will be unfair on him if i try get him to leave her because if i was to make him fall for me i could , anyways i changed my number chucked that simcard somewhere in the house and tought to deal because memories are killers but i let him go later on i found out from someone that girl is not of a good character and she had got him into clubbing drinking haram and also into wrong thing such as going away and booking rooms in hotel far from house and drinking all night he never mentioned what else he did but it was pretty obvious that something else must have happend too however i wasnt happy with his relationship after knowing all this because the girls was of a really bad character which forced him all onto haram but i couldnt say anything.
Then as my real self i started moving my life too because he had moved on so i got engaged i was happy anyways after 3 months i was cleaning up in my house and randomly found a sim in my house this was december 2013 i was going to throw it but decided that let me first check never know it might be important and the shocking thing happened i recieved his message! And i wasnt going to reply but then i ended up replying and he called me he was crying hes like i cant forget u even if i go close to that girl i miss you i remember you !! I realised he had found out how bad the girl was however i couldnt be unfair to my fiance so i lied again but instead of engagement i said my nikkah is done so he just leaves me alone , but he didnt he kept annoying me for so long i said i cant leave my husband this and that he annoyed me to the max one day that in anger it came out of my mind that it was a lie and im just engaged , he used to cry alot after knowing my nikkah is done but i kept strong not telling him that i got engaged not nikkah , because islamically its nikkah that counts and engagement is only done to get to know the person. my fiance is from a different country so i get to see him like only once a year that too for one to two times as i only go for few days , he is very nice and kind does everything for me ! But i don't know how i got slipped away again even after a strong control over myself and again he made me start all those mastrubation and now it had gone worse he would send me his private part pictures and would ask me for pictures too i was too worried to do so but as i said i got carried away and ended up sending him! Not of my face obviously but it was very bad he would make me do this everyday then he begged me again that can we please meet even if its for 5 minutes my mum and dad know about you they want to meet you so we can get married and take this further i had no answer i started ignoring him anyways
In march 2014 he had a doubt that i was being fake he. Asked me to prove and i couldnt i said leave me if you dont trust me and then he went on holiday in march and stopped talking to me then after 10 days he contacted me again and said he misses me and what not he goes when i come back i want to please see you and get this further because my mum wants me to get married and i only want to marry you he came back again i said to him look leave me we are not meant to be this was like the 10th million time i told him to leave me but he wouldn't listen then he was kind of off me but was still on my case he used to cry alot for me he used to say i think allah thinks i am a toy he doesnt give me anything. i used to force him to pray and stop drinking he stopped drinking he would pray ok and off but not fully but he loved me alot one day i decided that its getting too much then i added him from my personal account randomly this was my real one and i tried speaking to him but that guy was just way too faithful in that he was telling me everything how who added him and whos saying what he didnt know it was me from that account but yeah he wouldnt talk alot or respond to my messages. that well anyways time went by and i still hadnt told him but he was getting on with life still begging me to meet but i didnt then i went to umrah in december 2014 i cut all ties with him and for a fresh start and to ask allah for forgiveness i cut contact fully.
then what happend in meanwhile i got him to find out through someone else that i wasnt being real. he got really angry he had a doubt already as his friends and family always used to say it but he used to say he had hope. anyways then he contacted me again via email in february 2015. he said im getting to know someone else if you want to come and meet me then please come or i will have to marry someone else. he did give me millions of chances then he was getting to know other girl and he said i will not have any relationship il get to know her a little then just propose her and get arranged marriage. he met her 3-4 times .
he then in march 2015 goes to me look last chance come to meet me or i am going to meet her on weekend and i will leave you. i didnt make effort then and he met her on weekend he went out with her and then he also brought her home to meet his mum , the girl was one and half year older than him and very opposite personality from him and quiet his mum said no for her so he stopped speaking to her however he had blocked me the day he went to meet her he goes im gone for good now but what happens is in the night he calls me and goes mum said no this and that so basically he was on my case again. he goes well i will be friends with her then he got serious and goes look i dont give a crap whoever you are whether you are black or white short or tall or any fault in you i dont care just come to me i am emotionally attached to you and i will still marry you regardless of who you are. i was too scared then his brothers engagement happend and that girl was on that engagement too because she was related to the girl who was getting engaged and then over there his mum ended up liking her and 3 days after the engagement his family ended up going to that girls house. he even asked me to meet him on the day he was going to that girls house that if you meet me now i will not go but if i commit once i wont come back.
i was too scared to go i really wanted to because i had fallen in love with him deeply. what killed me was that after him going to her house then they had to come to theirs and everything was going to get sorted. i told him to block and delete me but he wouldn't then he then 2 days before the girls family was about to come to his house called me and i dont know what made him say this but he ended up with a doubt and he mentioned "my real facebook account" he goes why do i feel that is you he goes i feel its you.
then I had the best chance to tell but i denied he asked not once but 6-7 times but i denied i wanted to tell but was worried anyways he goes to me on that last call that i miss you alot but il try and forget u. he also said that you known me for so long and you didnt make effort and a girl who got to know me three months ago took me away from you why didnt you make effort!
He made me cry over that and then he goes just come close to me one last time and he then turned me on over the phone and then left for good ! He would still speak on message and wouldnt block me he would say i will wait and see how things go with the other girl if it all goes fine then i will block you otherwise i need someone to atleast tell what happend. anyways his nikah date got fixed and then he blocked me from everywhere. his last status was i love you for that new girl. he fell in love way too quick. i am literally heartbroken he is getting his nikah done in one months time.
My marriage is in 4 months time i am still so confused i feel bad for my fiance for being unfair only because of this other guy but i just was too scared that he will end up harming himself now i am finding it hard to accept that he will belong to someone else. i just dont have peace of mind and i believe i will end up on depression tablets. i end up crying randomly everything. we now have some friends in mutual infact his older brother fiance i know her too now !
I am just so confused to what to do because his marriage has been fixed so quick because his mum was like i dont want to let this other girl go out of my hand and they didnt even do istikhara because the girl doesnt believe in it she says its like predicting future. anyways coming to the point what would you prefer me to do? i do believe everything happens by Allah swt will and the reason that has got me confused is the reason he kept coming back into my life and now that he is gone for good its hurting me i did istikhara 2-3 times but after that when i would wake up he would be on my mind the first thing and now i just wish he can be mine only !
but the funny twist in the story came where i got to know a girl who he also knew back in the university days and he was getting his nikkah done with her cousin and when i found out how the girl he is getting nikkah done from he was getting to know her from 4 months while he lied to me that he wasnt in touch with her and he had lied to that girl that he has never been in a relationship before and he lied on so many other things which i have come to know!!
I dont know what to do. can you help me please becuase my heart says i want him and which is one of the reason im lacking to focus on my fiance. but i do feel bad for being like that towards my fiance. the guy who i loved and his nikkah is soon messages me randomly and goes i need to speak to u for the last time but i refused because he had called me three times before within a gap of one week between each time to say this is out last call however i refused !i just need help because i dont want to be thinking about him once his nikkah is done because that is a sin thanks
What killed me was when he said i am glad all this happend throughout these years was good because now i have an amazing girl who is not that outgoing is a shy type girl always listens when i say something and just smiles even if i take the p*** out of her she is tall she is amazing she has coloured eyes she is fair she is beautiful blah blah so im glad all this happened.
an123456
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sorry to be blunt, but you made it clear right from the start that you would never marry him and would not be with him despite him giving you many chances and him asking you to meet his parents. how can you say you are now heartbroken to know he will belong to someone else when you didnt want him and rejected him. it seems you enjoyed the attention he gave you and him constantly begging and chasing you and to be felt needed by him. your relationship with him was wrong from the very start, it was based on a lie and this was totally unfair on him to have his feelings messed around like this.
you say he kept annoying you and wouldnt leave you alone but you encouraged this by giving him hope by responding to him and keeping contact. no one forced you to continue talking with him,. you had a fiancee. you should have discarded that sim yet you kept coming in his life just to reject him.
forgot about him, repent for this haraam relaltionship. block him from all socail media, change your number and focus on your husband to be. in sha allah in time you will have feelings for him
I did not made anything clear it all started of weirdly i left him many times trust me the only reason to respong would be because he would switch his phone off and before that message that i will kill myself I will not deny that i made many mistakes way too many which i shouldnt have but it was way too much i had found out what he did with other girls and when i was serious i find out he wants to marry someone else and he used us both as an option to whoever says yes first and she did and he left me
Sister i hope u forget him in mean time. To be honest that person was a flirt if he was so in love with u he would have never asked for musturbate he didnt respect u at all honestly speaking he ended up ruining ur life. All young boys say this thing that they are so in love with u but in reality they have many more girls they only see girls for zina. U said ur fiancee is in other country better call him chat with him this will help u forget him. And pray allah for forgiveness
I wish he never contacts u again or ruin ur marriage life
Yup!! I am not saying i posted here for sympathy or anything however bro i do realise my mistake what i did was completely wrong too but i swear he used to say he will not get married because of me blah blah i mean once i just lied to get rid of him that my nikkah is done and he goes i dont care leave him run away with me now he did nikkah with someone else and doesn't want me to be involved in his life or anywhere near but an i wrong to complain him getting me to masturbate or sending me his pictures so i get turned on and asking for mine let alone that three days before his proposal getting fixed he wanted me to masturbate again and goes atleast for the last time ? Is that teue love however i couldnt ever leave him because he used to cry so much and scare me by switching of his phones that he will have an accident or harm himself in any way
Sister you did all those haraam things because you wanted to. You could have hung up on him and blocked him from your life for good. What he was asking you to do is filthy. Any respectable decent Muslim man wouldn't think of doing that. Also, you have got what you wanted, you wanted him to leave you alone now he has. So be happy. I'm not sure what your dilemma is, if you had wanted to marry him why didn't you say yes to him when he was pursuing you. All these feelings your having now is the devil messing with your head. This guy is weird, he doesn't sound like husband material. He's messed around with you until he made up his mind to marry someone and then blocked you from his life. In the same way he was cheating on his fiancé with you whilst he was getting to know her. He was using you! Be glad that he's not your husband, and that you got rid of him. Forget him, be relieved! Turn to Allah and repent, and reflect on where you have gone wrong. Improve your relationship with Allah and soon enough you will realise how lucky you have been to have escaped from this filthy man!
You know why i am heartbroken deeply because i mean when i look at my situation i feel gutted that he made me do all this and used to be like i love you and what not i mean i dont think even if we met our life would be amazing as to all haram things thats happend but he didnt have to cheat twice and there's me who was ready to leave my fiance for him i am so ashamed of myself but i am so upset at the fact he quickly moved on and is living happily he doesnt even follow islam much however hes getting everything he desired
"But i don't know how i got slipped away again even after a strong control over myself and again he made me start all those mastrubation and now it had gone worse he would send me his private part pictures and would ask me for pictures too i was too worried to do so but as i said i got carried away and ended up sending him!"
-That's a form of adultery , might want to repent for that. Just a suggestion.
I am repenting i really am i wanted him to leaveme but then he didnt and now that i did not want him to leave me he left me.. He moved on quick
Look sister as i told you he was fake if you from start didnt do what he asked you to he would have never came this far. He made u do haram so did u. I live in pakistan and i have many friends goods and bad some of my friends are attached to girls for pass time take em to dates spend money on them and one day cross the limits. They say same thing to them that they cant live without them blah blah they are dying without them and reality is they dont give a damn they have many more girls like u to play with. As i told you earlier say sorry to allah and thanks to him that he is out of your life for good. Try to fall in love with your fiancee talk and chat with him or get your nikkha done go on trips tours u have a happy life ahead sister
There's a blessing in every situation. In yours it is the fact that he doesn't know who you really are he has your nude pics I have read on here so many times how guys have blackmailed their gfs using nde pics at least he doesn't have a face to match to the name.
Secondly, God has given you an opportunity to move on. If you spend your time and energy on your fiancée and getting to know him instead you might find that it is easier to move on. Maybe your fiancée will be able to behave more appropriately and show you qualities that this guy doesn't have and never will.
Thirdly, I urge you to not tell your fiancée about this ever! Repent sincerely, discard your sim, deactivate your facebook and block him on everything. Let him move on and move on yourself. God forbid imagone if you die in this state. You need to wake up and let go of the guy he doesn't sound decent. He knows you won't meet him but you will give him what he needs on the phone why would He just give that up. I think you like feeling that you're in control whereas looking into your situation you're more into him than he is in to you.
Please move on don't ever reveal your true name or face to him
Leave him alone and have some respect for your fiancée.
Yeah everyone is telling me not to tell him and to be honest i repent i do repent all the time because i was thinking he was fair to me and while getting to know the other girl he recently married he was telling me he wants to marry me and to come meet him but when he left he picked kasam on Allah that he doesnt love me so basically he was just using me recently throughout till he gets married to that girl
you said you showed him pic of another girl who is your friend how can you do that ??? dint you thought about that girls dignity ?? i just cant belive even girls do such things why are you playing with his emotions ?? 1 truth is better than 100s of lies say him the truth and block him from your life ... you are sorry thats good but you should be sorry that unknowingly you broked trust of your friend how can you send some na-meherum a girls pic this is pricking me... m sorry if i have been harsh but thats what i felt .. a girls dignity in islam is much much much higher ... it may b risky for that girl we cant trust the people we meet on social networking sites before he utilize those pics in wrong way say him the truth .. and never repeat it again ..
Nono our friend knew we used her picture to make a profile she allowed us herself because we were checking up on someone however we did tel the guy in the end that it wasnt that person however from the first year he thought it isnt that person anyway but he didnt leave me alone oh i will slit my wrist I will die scared me alot
Assalam alaikum,
The question is what you should be concerned about the most and what is actually in your power.
You should be concerned about improving yourself first and foremost in this situation. Cut all ties, including effort to not dwell on thinking about him and his mistakes.
shaitan will make you dwell on his errors so that you do not dwell on your own errors and change your ways.
You only have control in what you do, how you conduct yourself and what happens from here on--change for the better, move on, ask Allah swt for Forgiveness, cry your eyes and heart out to Allah swt--it is Ramadhan. Forgive everyone, including what this boy did--this is essentially the way to move on from this point.
May Allah swt ease your pain, Ameen.
Sister ,
You are not a victim here .You have enjoyed haraam things with him like masturbating and sending nude pictures . How can you do that ? It doesn't happen simply .It happened because you wanted it .It happened because you were far away from Islam .
What you guys have done is some sort of Zina ..Repent it sincerely and change your life style ...
Don't you know what Islam talk about Hijab ? A woman is not supposed to disclose her body to any body apart from her husband and similarly for men .
He seems to a big flirt and a prson who is far way from islam .A muslim atleast with basic descency will not do what you both have done ...Its time for you to repent ,change yourself ,spend time in prayers and avoid all contacts with him ....This is a month of Ramadan and you have golden opportunity to make intention of becoming a good muslimah and change all haraam life style habits ....
No i am not fully claiming that i am the victim i made so many mistakea too but my feelings for him wasnt fake or a lie i wouldnt have taken him back if he wasnt to say he wants to be guided he wants to stop drinking but he lied alot to me which i didnt realise till I actually saw his videos and came across the fact he did hotel booking with another girls .. I am wrong and i am not surprised why none of this guys school/college friends wish to marry him or his brother i realised so many things very late if he can meet one girl and go crazy in the first meeting i am sure i cannot trust him but as said we realise these things very late when its too late i am wrong but he had done bad too infact he cheated his wife too while in the process of getting to know her he was talking to me too and after coming back from her house and when it was 3 days left for his datea to be confirmed he requested phone sex for last time and i was like are you mad NO WAY! plus he told me he doesnt feel sexually attracted towards the girl he is getting married too basically he doesnt get wrong feelings the same he had with me!! Big slap in my face but i just wonder why he had to do this
You also cheated your fiance by talking to him ...
You are accountable for your sins and you can't blame any one . You wanted to change him is laughable justification ..First of all communicating to non mehrem itself is haraam ..
As i said these feeling and all are nothing .You wanted to have some haraam pleasure and you got it for some time .Later developing some feeling is natural and those can't reduce your sins ...
Its time for you to forget all those and repent and change yourself ...This is the month of ramadan and good opportunity for you to repent and change yourself ..
No i never wanted haram pleasure never did i want that and you will not know how much i curse myself so much for that yes indeed i did cheat on my fiance which is why i wanted to now break of engagement because i have been unfair to him however i do admit i was invovled in haram but i wanted to marry him too ! I wasnt engaged when me and the ex first started talking i got engaged after he left me for another girl
Ps I think he was probably insisting on meeting you so that he could sleep with you !
I wouldnt be suprised if he did want that because he used to have his ex gf over to his house many times in the night when his parents were away and did room bookigs away from home too and to which when confronted he said it was only to go far and drink however he used to go clubbing to drink so a big lie
So why are you confused if he was such a horrible man? Ask for forgiveness from Allah and give ur soon to husband all your attention and time. Before Allah swt takes him away from your life too think about it like that. Too many times we dont value what we have and understand the value after losing it. You lost one guy dont lose ur fiance too in the process. Going after two bunnies will result in u losing both the bunnies 🙂
I loved him alot i really did and and he meant alot to me the fact that he came into my life before my fiance however i do agree i made many mistakes too and maybe this is my chance to repent and make relationship better with fiance
Forget him ..You stay in which country and how old are you as your actions seems to be very immature ..Don't make any contact further and avoid all haraam stuff .
Allah knows but i came across so many things he lied about and what not and i feel so bad
The guys a complete loser! You should be celebrating he didn't commit Zina with you. He persisted so much but Allah saved you. This isn't love! This is lust. Give it a year and you'll look back and realise how lucky you were that this guy left your life. I'm sure you'll feel physically sick at the thought of him, especially after the things he was involved in.
Trust me i already do feel thankful to Allah I already do the pain is there due to my own mistakes as well as his lies because how pathetic can one be if i havent met you then you should stop torturing me that you will kill yourself or ask for phone sex thats just disgusting i am ashamed with myself as well as shocked on how he wanted a clean wife in the end and told me to get lost
Well when you feel bad about him marrying remember this, he will most likely cheat on his wife too. He was cheating on her whilst they were engaged, what will stop him from doing the same once married?
No he wasnt engaged!! He got to know her through his other female friend who was his sister in law to be and that other girls cousin aswell , his brother got engaged to his friend and then he sent proposal for this girl he married ( did nikah) but he was getting to know her since february and at the same time he was talking to me throughout once he gave me a deadline if you done meet me by this date i am gone for good because i am meeting her so i said fine goodbye and then he went on a date with her , took her his hone too his mother was t really happy on her comjng alone with him and said NO to it however he had blocked me from everywhere but when his mum said no to the other girl he unblocked me and called me started speaking i said just leave he goes well mum said no to her so when are you meeting me i should have realised it all them. But i never realised then that was my fault anyways he started talking to me and on the sly he was talking to her aswell which I found out now anyways he was getting to know her and at the same time talking to me so which ever one of us says yes he will marry he goes to me just few days before his date fixing for phone sex aswell as goes if you come and meet me i will marry you !!! But he lied to the other girl he has never been in a relationship and this i found out now !! Also the friend of his to whos cousin he is married now they broke the engagement oh his brother with her just after 3 weeks and kept it on a sly of another girls nikah thing !! That family is mad about looks and fair colour anyways his mum called his ex sister in law to be parents and said rubbish about their daughter very pathetic !! However i do realise my mistake ans maybe he will be now happy because the type of bollywood actress he used to dream of and his favourite bolyywood actress look alike he is now married too they also made his wife break ties with her own cousin through who they knew her but !! Maybe he might have done something good for Allah to give him exactly the type of wife he wanted 🙂 and he does everything for her like crazy
I can sense from your replies that you love to defend yourself. Everytime anyone mentions something about you being in the wrong here you jump to reply and defend yourself. Instead of you to accept your mistakes, learn from them, fight your nafs, be courageous and carry on. You would look for something to say to cover for yourself. I know you will again defend yourself with a reply after reading this.
If you are to say that then you probably arent reading my replies properly after admitting many times that i am wrong secondly you are yourself forcing me to reply anyways by all out of a sudden "BLAMING" me for something i am not doing secondly as for ur criticism im more than happy to take it in because when you write on pages like these you do get alot of criticism which i am more than happy to take it and to be very honest if i had to defend myself i wouldnt have to even feel the need to post on here lol 🙂
I'm sorry for sounding so harsh! My comment was really unnecessary and it would've been best if i had just kept it to myself. Sorry for judging you, i have no right to judge you as i don't know you personally. Please accept my apologies ones again 😀
Sister bucks what she has done is also kind of zina ..when there is zina of eyes, zina of hands etc etc then she has crossed too many steps ...she should not take it lightly and repent for sin of sort of zina
I dont think anyone over here is saying i havent! Neither have i said that ofcourse i know I need to repent big time and to be realised that is oneof the reasons of posting this
Salam thanks so much for your advic it helped alot and i am glad i listened to you guys and tried to forget him because i cant believe this but he has been emailing me like mad and i had to reply back saying please stop messaging i am now married (i lied to get rid of him) and he responds to that saying how hes happy that atleast one of us is happy in out marriage and how he goes to me make sure u dont rush into it like i did and. That nake aure your partner hasnt lied to u and then he wanted me to call him and wanted me to make him feel better and speak to him he goes i havent slept in peace in time i have been very stressed and how i miss you badly you were an amazing person i love you and miss you! At the same time he is teling me that he loves his wife etc etc but they had some argument and if she plans to continue her education they will not be able to do the marriage till another three years ! Their nikkah is done but they will live in together either next year or if she plans to continue education then three years after their walima is done and i was just thinking to my self what is wrong with this guy and then he emails around sehri time saying can i meet you ? Twice in a row for two days he messaged me can i meet you that ttoo once sehri time and once around 3:40am but i didnt respond but how pathetic is that he is messaging me now and wants to be in touch with me he apologised for everything and goes i have a soft corner for you what is this
Why is everyone making this girl feel bad. Whats done is done forget and live for the present.
I honestly think this is your blessing from Allah. I know your hurting BUT you are better than this. Marry your finance and cut all contact with the other guy trust me its for your own good. There are alot of muslims WHO ARE hypocrites all I will strongly advise another sister to do is never ever get involved with a guy before marriage. Some will use a girl and use each other this is not the way people should be I hope you repent and find your own peace and forgive yourself too. Time is a healer and this has happen for a reason count your blessings.
No ita good to realise mistakes:) but yes Alhumdulillah i do now realise i am probably way better without him and will get more closer to Allah
I think you should be soo happy you are still not deflowered by this monster.
Imagine if you have met him (like he wanted), and that he managed to sleep with you and deflowered you, and maybe impregnate you, and then dumped you, ..... Just like all bad guys do when they get easy girls and get what they wanted from them ( he seems to have magical power in convincing you to pull down your panties, and you feel bad but do it in the end )..
Do not be cheap sister. Be thankful that things didn't go very far, and that you ended up pregnant from Haram. Repent, and thank Allah for the Halal marriage you are getting. Its not easy to find a good husband nowadays
For the " I love him" thing..... you are attached to him because of the hormones you release when you are doing it with him over the phone. ...... so do not worry much about that .....When you get married, and you have the halal marital relation with your husband, those hormones will be secreted naturally again and they will create a new bond and attachment for your real husband who deserves such attachment and love.
Repent and never look back, and thank Allah you didn't die in that state when you were all exposed with the phone in your hand. May Allah protect you from all harm..
I think you are right i think i shouldnt have believed him and from start i should have just stopped and it wouldnt have come to a point where i myself am heartbroken!! I think i just can't get over the fact he brushed me off like that and told me to get lost when it came to him being satisfied by his need and getting a perfect wife whereas when i had lied to him that my nikkah is done so he goes away he did not leave me alone he should have valued my statement and even if i lied that my nikkah is done ( so he leaves me alone) he did not he only leaves me whenever he finds another partner i feel absolutely disgusted and sick i know i should pay attention on my fiance and focus on him he does love me alot but my problem is everytime i try concentrating on him i remember the "ex" and i am hating the fact he married another woman and is loving her i know its wrong for me to think like that but i just can't help it
I can see that your hurting and I want to try to understand why but I can't. It's not like you ever met the guy, or were in a relationship with him, engaged or married, so not sure why he means so much to you. It seems as though most of your conversations with him was him requesting phone sex. That's really filthy, aren't you glad that you no longer have do degrade yourself like that anymore. You should feel good about yourself, you rejected him. Who knows what his intentions were for meeting you, guys like that will say all kinds of rubbish to get you to sleep with him including empty promises for marriage. Imagine if you had met him, he used you but stil went onto marry his current wife, how would you feel then? Ultimately, you rejected him, now he's moved on and focussing on his wife which I have to admit is a pretty decent thing to do. He's somebody else's husband now, so please stop thinking about him. Focus on all the sinful behaviour he encouraged you to do, he's not worth even thinking about.
He's playing you. You should let him get married. Ignore every text he sends you from now on. You have your partner he has his. If you go with this guy, you will see something else which will hurt you more than ever.