Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to get rid of financial problems and improve my parents’ life

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I am getting married in the month of shaban this year, maybe on  the 14th-15th of June 2014, Insha'a Allah. My parents have been to umrah just 15 days ago, and I am engaged now. You know, nowadays marriage of a girl is associated with lots of money. I am the first daughter to my parents, and I've done my engineering. I have a sister and 3 brothers who are still pursuing their education.

Since my parents have been to umrah, we have had a lot of financial problems as there were so many matters like engagement, health, etc.  And now, as for my marriage, my parents have decided to get a loan based on the house documents for meeting the needs and marriage cost, which the whole cost might be around 15 lakhs or so. I am really worried about my parents and my siblings. How could I be happy after marriage by seeing the struggle of my parents to clear the loan? Moreover, my siblings need to be educated, and there are many more responsibilities of my parents like getting a good education for my siblings, my younger sister's marriage, and construction of a new house, as the current house is not sufficient for a big family like mine.

So I am worried how could everything  be possible. Moreover my parents never bother about their health.  I plead to them to get their health checkups, but in vain. What should I do? I am not such a selfish girl who would put my parents in such circumstances and live my own life. What should I do? I am lucky that Allah gave me everything the  best, though I didn't ask him, but my parents did.  I am worried, what should I do? Any dua or any advice, please. I don't want to see my parents struggling. What should I do?

-rameeza


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7 Responses »

  1. aslm sis

    plz recite AL HASEEBO 7000 times after isha namaz..u can complete it in three dayz bt do it continuously for continous 3 dayz..and pray to allah ..inshallah u wil get solution to all ur problems..remember me in ur dua sister dat allah will bless me with mrriage..

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    I think the first thing to do is to decide what you want to do about the marriage. If you want to marry the man, does it really matter if you have a big ceremony and party? The Prophet (peace be upon him) himself and his family (may Allah be pleased with them) had simple weddings and didn't spend beyond their means. Why not have a simple nikah and walima, and share the costs between the two families? You can always have a big celebration when the financial situation is better.

    Regarding the matter of a loan, it would be important to ensure that any such arrangement is Islamically acceptable (eg. no usury) and that this would not lead to the loss of your family home. I've seen people lose their cars, their homes, etc because of being unable to repay loans secured against them, so it's important to avoid that situation.

    Rather than borrowing money, are there other ways to make savings or earn the money you want? Maybe your siblings could help by getting part-time jobs? (A lot of students work while at university or college, so it wouldn't be a huge disadvantage, and could actually help them if they find a job that's related to their fields of interest). Are there areas of spending that you could work to reduce - for example, could money be saved on bills by switching suppliers/companies? And could changes be made to your current house to avoid having to build a new one - for example, could rooms be re-purposed or partitioned?

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  3. Praise be to Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala)

    Sister Nazia what you suggested to sister Rameeza is not correct!

    I have a proof read below,

    Is it permissible to use the Beautiful Names of Allaah as a remedy, such as saying “Ya Baseer (O All-Seeing)” over the patient’s eye and so on?.

    Praise be to Allaah.
    Using the names of Allaah as a remedy is a practice that is widespread among people. Flyers are widely distributed on which the names are written and beside them the diseases which may supposedly be treated by that name.

    The one who claims to have discovered this kind of remedy is Dr Ibraaheem Kareem, the inventor of the science of “biogeometry”. He claimed that the beautiful names of Allaah have the power to heal a huge number of diseases, based on his research in which he measured energy levels in the human body. He claimed to have discovered that each of the names of Allaah produces an energy that prompts the immune system to work efficiently in a particular part of the human body. He claimed that by applying the “law of resonance” he could, simply by mentioning one of the names of Allaah, bring about improvements in the vital energy in the human body. After researching for three years, he presented his discovery to people in a schedule in which he described diseases and stated which name of Allaah could be beneficial in treating it.

    For example: al-Samee’ (the All Hearing) can restore the balance of energy; al-Razzaaq (the Provider) can treat the stomach; al-Jabbaar (the Compeller) can treat the spine; al-Ra’oof (the Most Kind) can treat the colon; al-Naafi’ (the Bringer of benefits) can treat the bones; al-Hayy (the Ever-Living) can treat the kidneys; al-Badee’ (the Originator) can treat the hair; Jalla Jalaalahu (Glorified be His Majesty) can treat dandruff; al-Noor (the Light), al-Baseer (the All-Seeing) and al-Wahhaab (the Bestower) can treat the eyes. …

    The way in which the remedy is administered is to repeat the name or a number of names over the affected part of the body, for ten minutes.

    He claims to have discovered that healing energy is multiplied when reciting the verses of healing after reciting tasbeeh of the beautiful names of Allaah. These verses are (interpretation of the meaning):

    “and heal the hearts of a believing people”

    [al-Tawbah 9:14]

    “and a healing for that which is in your hearts”

    [Yoonus 10:57]

    “wherein is healing for men”

    [al-Nahl 16:69]

    “And We send down of the Qur’aan that which is a healing and a mercy”

    [al-Isra’ 17:82]

    “And when I am ill, it is He Who cures me”

    [al-Shu’ara’ 26:80]

    “Say: It is for those who believe, a guide and a healing”

    [Fussilat 41:44]

    Our response to these claims is:

    1 – Remedies may be administered either by scientific means or by religious means (as described in the Qur’aan and Sunnah). With regard to scientific, physical means, treatment should be based on experience and expertise. With regard to religious means, reference is to be made to the texts of sharee’ah in order to find out what remedies are to be used and how they are to be administered. Mentioning Allaah by His beautiful names (dhikr) is something that is prescribed in sharee’ah, but this researcher does not quote any shar’i source of evidence for using specific names of Allaah in this manner to treat disease, so it cannot be a legitimate shar’i means of treating disease. Religious matters cannot be subjected to experimentation or disrespected in this manner.

    Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:

    Note that medical treatment is a means of healing but the One Who causes it to be effective is Allaah, may He be exalted. There is no cause except that which Allaah makes a cause. The things that Allaah makes causes are of two types:

    (i) Means that are prescribed in sharee’ah, such as the Holy Qur’aan and du’aa’ (supplication), as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning Soorat al-Faatihah: “How did you know that it is a ruqyah (prayer or incantation for healing)?” And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) recited ruqyah for the sick by making du’aa’ for them, and Allaah healed those whom He wanted to heal by virtue of his du’aa’.

    (ii) Physical means, such as medicines that are known from sharee’ah, like honey, or from experimentation and experience, like many kinds of medicine. The effect of this kind of means must be direct, not by way of imagination and wishful thinking. If its effect is known in a direct and measurable manner, then it may rightfully be used as a remedy by means of which a cure may be effected, by Allaah’s leave. But if it is simply the matter of wishful thinking on the part of the patient, which brings him some kind of psychological relief, then it is not permissible to rely on it or affirm that it is a remedy, lest a person come to depend on wishful thinking. Hence it is forbidden to wear rings, strings etc to heal disease or ward it off, because that is not a means that is prescribed in sharee’ah or known from experience. So long as it is not proven to be a means that is prescribed in sharee’ah or known from experience, it is not permissible to regard it as a means of healing. Regarding it as a means is a kind of trying to compete with Allaah in His dominion and associating others with Him, in the sense that one is trying to play a role that belongs only to Allaah, namely deciding the means and the ends. Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Abd al-Wahhaab explained this matter in Kitaab al-Tawheed by saying: “CHAPTER: It is shirk to wear rings and strings etc to ward off evil or relieve it.”

    Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 1, question no. 49.

    2 – This involves mentioning names of Allaah and claiming that He has called Himself by these names, when that is not the case, such as Jalla Jalaaluhu (Glorified be His Majesty), al-Rasheed (the Guide), al-Badee’ (the Originator), al-Naafi’ (the Bringer of Benefit), etc. This is indicative of the ignorance of the one who made this claim, and that this so-called energy does not exist, because it is derived – according to his own claims – from names that are not names of Allaah as proven in the saheeh evidence.

    3 – He describes a specific method of treatment and stipulates a name for each disease.

    Even when a name mentioned is proven in saheeh evidence to be one of the names of Allaah, this still comes under the heading of speaking about Allaah without knowledge. Allaah has forbidden us to speak of Him without knowledge, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Say (O Muhammad): (But) the things that my Lord has indeed forbidden are Al-Fawaahish (great evil sins and every kind of unlawful sexual intercourse) whether committed openly or secretly, sins (of all kinds), unrighteous oppression, joining partners (in worship) with Allaah for which He has given no authority, and saying things about Allaah of which you have no knowledge”

    [al-A’raaf 7:33]

    Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on this verse:

    “and saying things about Allaah of which you have no knowledge” means, with regard to His names, attributes, actions and laws.

    Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 250.

    4 – The scholars of the Standing Committee refuted the claims of this man when they were asked about this matter. They said:

    After studying the matter, the Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas replied as follows:

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And (all) the Most Beautiful Names belong to Allaah, so call on Him by them, and leave the company of those who belie or deny (or utter impious speech against) His Names. They will be requited for what they used to do”

    [al-A’raaf 7:180]

    And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has ninety-nine names; whoever learns them will enter Paradise.” Among them is the greatest name of Allaah which, if He is called upon by it, He will respond, and if He is asked by it, He will give.

    No one knows how many names Allaah has except Allaah Himself, and all of them are beautiful. We must believe in them and in the perfection, majesty and might of Allaah to which they point. It is haraam to disbelieve in them by rejecting all of them or any of them, or to deny the perfection of Allaah or any of the attributes of Allaah indicated by these names.

    An example of denying the names of Allaah is the claim made by this “Kareem Sayyid” and his student and son in a flyer which they distributed among people, that the beautiful names of Allaah have the power to heal a huge number of diseases, based on his research in which he measured energy levels in the human body. He claimed to have discovered that each of the names of Allaah produces an energy that prompts the immune system to work efficiently in a particular part of the human body. He claimed that by applying the “law of resonance” he could, simply by mentioning one of the names of Allaah, bring about improvements in the vital energy in the human body. He said: it is well known that the Pharaohs were the first ones to study and measure the life force in the human body by means of [?] the Pharaonic pendulum. Then he mentioned a number of the names of Allaah in a schedule and claimed that each of these names could benefit the body in some way or treat specific physical diseases. He explained that by drawing a diagram of the human body and writing one of the names of Allaah on each part thereof.

    This action is false because it is a kind of disbelief concerning the names of Allaah and it subjects them to degrading treatment. What is prescribed in Islam with regard to the names of Allaah is to call upon Him by them, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “… so call on Him by them …”

    [al-A’raaf 7:180]

    Similarly we must affirm the attributes of Allaah implied by these names, because each of these names describes an attribute of Allaah and it is not permissible to use them for any other purpose than to call Him by them, unless there is shar’i evidence to that effect.

    Whoever claims that they may be used in such and such a manner, or may be used to treat such and such a disease with no evidence to that effect from sharee’ah, is speaking about Allaah without knowledge, and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Say (O Muhammad): (But) the things that my Lord has indeed forbidden are Al-Fawaahish (great evil sins and every kind of unlawful sexual intercourse) whether committed openly or secretly, sins (of all kinds), unrighteous oppression, joining partners (in worship) with Allaah for which He has given no authority, and saying things about Allaah of which you have no knowledge”

    [al-A’raaf 7:33]

    This flyer must be destroyed, and the people mentioned here and others have to repent to Allaah from this action and not do any such thing again that has to do with ‘aqeedah and rulings of sharee’ah.

    And Allaah is the Source of strength.

    Sister Nazia no hard feelings, I just show you the proof. Now it is up to you to admit it or not.

    And Allaah knows best.

    • thanx brother masood for ur descriptive knowledge about sharia...i have heard abt dis frm my frnd who told me dat if one recite al haseebo 7000 time watever be d difficulty or matte,it wolld solve wid dis recitation..
      i jst knw n believe dat allah is creator n his names shows his sifats..so if one praises him he wil surely listen..dats all i knw..
      jazakallah

  4. Sister,

    Congratulations on your marriage to be! May you have a long and blessed life together.

    Just a few months ago, I read on this forum a plight of a young man and his family who did exactly what your family is considering to do. They took a loan against the deed of their home. They were actually going to lose the home as they found they could not repay their debt. It is an extremely foolish move and could ultimately have severe consequences should the loan not be repaid for one reason or another. It is not worth the risk.

    Maybe your family could just have a small gathering with the closest relatives of your family and your husband to be's family. May Allah make things easy on all of you during this happy yet stressful time.

    Salam

  5. Just a do a small party, there is no need to have a huge ceremony and spend so much money on it. I don't really understand when people do such a thing like spending a lots of money just for a wedding.
    Tell your parents that this is what you want to do.

  6. asalamu alaikum,

    sadly parents who are living in this time and age, having a big wedding for them is a must specially if its their first child who is getting married. why? because they care what the people say and think. pride and honor plays a big role. the last thing they want is to be the talk of the town, known as a scrooge. seen this far too often. if you invite only close relative, then you will find other people who will say negative things for not getting invited. its a damn shame.

    another reason why so many young brothers and sister cant get married due to financial problems. this is also why haram became very easy and halaal became hard.

    also if the loan is interest based, it will do more harm than good. the consequence is severe.

    “...but whoever returns (to dealing in riba), such are the dwellers of the Fire — they will abide therein.” Qur’an 2:275

    The Prophet (SallAllahu Alayhi Wasallam) has cursed those who are involved in usury; whether it is by receiving it, giving it, recording it in writing, or witnessing to it.(Muslim)

    you said, I plead to them to get their health checkups? how about you plead with them for a small wedding? small wedding, less money and less hassle. if they don't listen, how about you tell your uncles or aunts to talk with your dad and persuade him for a small wedding?

    ma salama..

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