Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to stop masturbating?

Assalam O Alaikum,

My problem is really embarassing but I need help with it, possibly from adults that have gone through the same problem. Well I'm trying to stop masturbating because I know it's bad. But it's so hard for me because my hormones are crazy (I'm almost 14 - I know I'm young but I reached puberty early). I can't get married because of my age (and also because of other reasons like being ugly and not having a university degree; in my family it's considered bad to get married before having a degree.) Fasting doesn't help me at all. Sports don't help me either (usually they just make it worse).

Alhamdulilah I never watch porn or anything. So, what can I do to help me stop? Also is there any dua to get pretty or something? (I know it's unrelated to the main question but it's easier than making a new post).

Thanks,

young-Musilmah.


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114 Responses »

  1. Salaam young Muslimah.

    This is difficult to control when you are young, so I am sorry to hear you have got into this bad habit. It also can affect sexual relations in marriage as you are seeking self-fulfillment. In marriage intimacy is about restraint and giving. The best thing you can start by doing is avoiding putting yourself in that situation. Try not to be alone. Wear clothes which are secure and sleep on your right hand side in a state of wudu. Wake up for Tahajjud if you can and of course Fajr. Even Tahajjud just 20 mins before fajr helps strengthen you. Do your 5xsalat - at least obligatory ones. At times in which you are not praying, keep a tasbih and do as many 'Astaghfirullah', Alhumdulilah, SubhanAllah, AllahuAkbar, Laa ilaha illa Anta Subhanaka innee kuntu minadh-dhaalimeen.' Here is an article which InshaAllah will be of use to you:

    "You are, Alhamdulillah, a Muslim, and that is why you are concerned. A person does not loose his Imaan simply on a stray thought. Keep up the effort, and if perchance there is a slip, return to istighfaar, even if is be a million times. Eventually Shaitaan and the nafs (carnal desires) will get frustrated, and you will win the battle over them. Another remedy is that when the urge arises, consider that if someone senior or respected in your eyes were present, would you still go ahead. Would you do this act in front of your father or mother or grandparent for example? Certainly not! When the presence of this person can subdue the urge, it proves that you do have the potential of controlling this urge. It is just left up to you to now tap into this potential.

    Optional Fasts: If, for some reason, it is not possible to marry at an early age, voluntary fasts may be kept. By fasting, lustful thoughts are curbed and thus one’s sexual urge is reduced. Further, fasting promotes fear of Allah Ta’ala and creates humility. There are various kinds of voluntary fasts. One is the Sawm-e-Daawood [the fast of Daawood - Alayhis salaam] which means fasting every alternate day. Fasts can also be observed on Mondays and Thursdays, six days during the month of Shawaal, the ninth and tenth of Muharram, or any other day (besides the five prohibited days).

    Shun whatever excites sexual thoughts: Young people destroy themselves when they pursue things that incite emotions and become like animals in fulfilling their desires. It is essential for young people to keep away from gatherings and opportunities that may arouse their sexual passions, or where they may come across women in revealing or tightfitting attire. They must abstain from listening to romantic tales or reading pornographic novels and magazines, hearing music and indecent songs or viewing such films.

    Engage in fruitful pursuit: Adolescents and teenagers should not sit alone when they have nothing to do. This will allow their imaginations to run wild and sexual passions will be aroused. They should spend their time properly so that they do not get arousing and lustful ideas. They can keep themselves busy with physical exercise, pure recreation, sensible reading and religious lessons.

    Good Company: It is important to select good and pious friends and companions. Such friends may guard us from erring and although they are rare, they are found everywhere. Search for such company and let yourself spend time with them. Remember that people imitate their friends. Therefore, to strengthen your Imaan, character and physique, keep away from evil companions and adopt the company of virtuous people.

    Act on medical advice

    Doctors of medicine give the following suggestions on how to restrain lustful desires and sexual urges:

    • Have cold baths in summer.

    • Pour cold water on the penis in other seasons.

    • Engage in physical exercises and sports (some doctors recommend special exercises to curb lustful desires)

    • Abstain from spices and all types of food that excite sex

    • Cut down on tea, coffee and invigorating beverages

    • Reduce intake of meat and eggs to a minimum

    • Do not lie down flat on the back or on the stomach. Rather lie on the right side in compliance with the Sunnah.

    Fear Allah Ta’ala

    When fear of Allah Ta’ala is rooted in a person, all sinful and evil acts will be shunned. One will then realise that Allah is always watching, and is aware of everything, whether apparent or hidden. One will take account of every act of disobedience and omission of duty and will know that Allah will punish the disobedient from His Creation.

    Young people must attend gatherings where Allah Ta’ala is eulogised. One must offer one’s Fardh Salaat and make it a habit to offer nafl Salaat and recite the Qur’aan on a regular basis. One must cultivate the fear of Allah, the habit of muraaqabah (meditation), and the realisation of Allah’s Majestic Powers. This is possible when one accustoms oneself to rising in the latter portion of the night for the tahajjud Salaat, keeping optional fasts, listening to the chronicles of the Sahaaba [Radhiallaahu anhum], spending time with pious people, keeping contact with the righteous and remembering death and the Hereafter. Therefore, develop such habits so that you are not drawn into temptation and sensuality. Remember that the punishment for disobedience and sinning is the fire of Jahannam.

    Masturbation and steps for overcoming it

    Masturbation is defined as the manual stimulation of the male or female genitals, not by sexual intercourse, designed to produce an orgasm. Masturbation is totally forbidden in Shari’ah.

    One of the most humiliating problems that the constant male masturbator suffers from when he attempts to have sexual relations is premature ejaculation or the failure to maintain an erection. When a person is masturbating, he tends to reach his orgasm as quickly as possible but in sexual intercourse, he normally has to attempt to control his excitement which can impose a great strain on those who indulge in self abuse over a lengthy period.

    Those who achieve insufficient satisfaction from sexual intercourse and return to masturbation or never give it up suffer a great torment. Sex life is empty for them, which leads to many more problems, marital disputes, divorce, etc.

    Therefore, people who continuously masturbate lose out all round. The physical pleasure becomes reduced to a natural act like urinating or excreting and at the back of their minds there is an awareness that they are missing out on the real pleasures of life. No adult can honestly claim to masturbate without a guilty feeling of complete uselessness. Masturbation is merely an exhaustive rather than constructive undertaking resulting in nothing but total loss. Once orgasm has been achieved, there is nothing left except a feeling of complete emptiness.

    Steps in overcoming masturbation

    Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female. And you can also be cured if you determine that it must be so. If you want to give it up, you need will power and determination. Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘The Niyyat of a believer is better than the act.’

    This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. Firstly, you must decide that you will end this practice and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a wish more than knowing that it is good for you. You must realize that this is a great evil and you have to want to give it up.

    It must be actually a decision. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. Ask Allah to help you and give you strength and steadfastness to succeed.

    After you have made this decision then observe the following specific guidelines.

    Guidelines 1. First step is to realize that you are violating Allah’s command and you are bringing upon yourself a life long destruction and harm.

    2. Never touch the intimate parts of your body unnecessarily.

    3. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. Remember, an idle mind is the devil’s (Shaytaan) workshop.

    4. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don’t suppose that both of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things. It is mentioned in a Hadith that a person is upon the way of his friend. (Bukhari, Tirmizi)

    5. When you bath, do so as quick as possible.

    6. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing, you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking and the temptation would leave you. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, engage in something useful. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you focus your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

    7. Never look at pornographic material.

    8. The attitude of the individual has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control this habit. The person must first realize the evil of this act. Secondly he must understand the reason for this behavior.

    After these 2 steps, the individual needs to become sensitive to the situations and conditions which may cause a person to commit this vile act. Hence a person must guard himself from anything, which may trigger a desire for this act. By following these steps, a person gains the ability to gain victory from this act, hence the power to control this filthy practice is developed. Remember you need also a bit of will-power.

    ADVICES

    1. MAKE Duaa daily; seek help from Allah, this will strengthen you against temptation.

    2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercises. The exercise reduces emotional tension and depression and is absolutely basic to the solution to this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

    3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.

    4. Set goals of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, a month, a year and finally commit to never doing it again. Till you don’t commit yourself, to never indulging yourself in this vile act, you’ll always be open to temptation.

    6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

    7. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged, these emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a Kitab, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

    8. Start frequenting the Musjid. Make it a daily practice to recite part of the Quraan. Find out about authentic books which you can read from your local Aalim.

    9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you. Color the day on which you masturbate black. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self-control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

    10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall in detail what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

    11. In the field of psychotherapy, there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy .When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self control, it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

    17. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Shaytaan never gives up. Keep a positive mental attitude and always stay on guard. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do, will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

    May Allah give you the power to self-control."

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Asalamu aleykum.i also have problem of musturbation,mine not fluently,When i heard the sound of sex in the house next to my room.that man was rented our house and from house to house all the sound is reflecting,we heard each other as if we are in the same room.so in this if he's sleeping with woman i also disturbed and start musturbation,my feeling is high that time.after they finished i get sleapt.in the morning i just continue with my prayer without taking ghusul.so if i can see your comment all the prayer i was prayer after musturbation not accepted?please brifly explan for me about musturbation.

      • There are several types of ear plugs you can buy to sleep with to avoid the neighbor's sounds. They are very inexpensive, as well. The best that I have found are a moldable stiff gel that fits into the ear, but not into the canal because they are often uncomfortable. There are also soft foam ear covers you can use that are specialized for sleep in conjunction with the plugs to reduce any noise. Lastly, try to find a recording of Qur'an you can play at night when you sleep. With the ear plugs and Qur'an recording, that should keep the sound to a minimum.

        However, see if you can find a male to speak to your neighbor about his sexual sounds at night.

        And lastly, yes, you must take ghusl whenever there is an orgasm you experience, because if you do not, your prayer is invalid. Here is the description of orgasm per an Islamic source.

        Does a woman enter the state of Janabah, if she reaches orgasm without penetration?
        Answer: Yes, she enters the state of janabah and she must perform ghusl.

    • does this feeling is normal or not?plz tell me.does it happen with every one?

    • I have visited many sites for the solution of this problem but this page is the best. I tried many things to overcome this problem many of them worked but had very little effect on me. But the steps and advices you have posted here are very effective and I have been already worked on some. Such as your advice for
      1. Clothing: When i started to where underwear in my trouser at night it helped me great.

      2. Stopped watching porn: Yes porn is the greatest motivator in this problem. I think if anyone want to stop masturbating he first have to stop porn. Porn Fuels Masturbation!

      3. Diary: As I am not married I do not have wife to support me in this problem and I do not any friend whom I can depend on to share my problem. I write diary on this matter where i write about my feelings sexual urges and how I coped with it and whenever i seems to be failing I write it there and analyze the problem find route causes and solve the matter.

      4. Pocket Calender: Yes using track of masterbation is very help full. I use google calender as it is secure and free.

      5. I prayed to Allah help me in this problem and tauba to not to do this act ever again by true neyat, has made a trumendus impact after the tauba I now feel the situation is very much controled Allah helped me to escape and saved me. Allah Ho Akber!

      6. Parda: I believe parda is very important. As for man they should not watch women lustfully. As I stopped watching porn the women walking along the road or street and specially on TV are now effecting me. Now I try to avoid watching them at all.

      7. Never Touch intimate parts of body: Yes touching intimate part of body leads to masturbation. In my experiance It has been very helpful to avoid touching the intimate parts of body and I prefer avoid even watching of your sex organs unless necessary.

      Even though I feel shaytan is still lurking on me and waiting for an opportunity to strike back but as long as I am close to Allah he is on my guard and shaytan will never win.

      Allah Bless you all and specially you my sister Sara.

    • jazakAllah.
      May Allah Ta'ala bless you.
      Keep me in your prayers..
      Aqsa.

    • May Allah Ta'ala bless you.

      Best useful answer.

    • may issi tarhaan ka jawaab dhoond raha tha thanks for my help...
      i want to ask one more Question that
      is masturbation a sin in islam?

    • Salam.
      I found your answer helpful.but i have made the niyat of not masturbating and also kasam but due to temptation i have broken them.I really want to get rid of this habit.I am 14 so i can not marry.I do not want to discuss about this with my parenst.Plz help me even with trying all the things i am still unsucessful. :(

  2. Another few points - you may not watch porn now Alhumdulilah, but there is a real risk that you may do in the future if you continue as you will seek 'further satisfaction.' Remember that Allah is watching you at all times, it makes it harder to sin.

    And also you have said you cannot marry at the moment as you are 14, not got a degree and are ugly. 14 is quite young, maturity- wise marriage may be difficult. It is not necessary to have a degree before marriage though, especially if you fear zina. I have known of many couples who have still continued their degree into their marriage. And sister you must realise that you are not ugly. Unfortunately in the enviornment we are bombarded with pictures of 'idealistic models' - like super thin or super light skin- and come to believe that this is beauty. Sister, this is not true, beauty is different for different people. I know how you feel though, I felt the same way when I was your age, it didnt help that the kids are school told me I was ugly as well. Lol. But I wasn't. So if its kids or people saying this to you - realise that kids like to be mean and pick on those who are vulnerable. Accept yourself the way you are - and thank Allah for the blessings. Have strong faith an you will be the most beautiful. When at home around mahram and family, do your hair nicely, wear nice clothes etc. But make sure you are covered around non-mahrams.

    Sara
    iSLAMICanswersc.om editor

    • Salam,

      Thanks for your reply. This was all good advice. Thanks again.

      About not needing a degree to get married, according to my mom not only do I have to have a degree, but I have to have my doctorates in medicine (here in BC it takes 4 years to complete pre med, 5 years to do med school, and I think another two years to specialise. And two years to finish high school).

      I wouldn't want to get married this young anyways.

      LOL, I think all girls think they're ugly. But no, really, I am. I WOULD do my hair nice and stuff IF I even had enough hair. I had to cut my hair short because it was falling out :(

      Other kids don't bother me about it (I'm homeschooled) other than my siblings.... but they bug me more when I'm dressed nice so I know that they don't mean it. Like if I wear a nice dress my sister won't talk to me and calls me a girly-girl and my brother says that he won't let me into his house when he grows up if I wear high heels (I know he's just being silly though).

      Well, Thanks again.

      • W/salaam.

        That is completely ridiculous. It is not recommended to delay marriage when you are ready. I pray that your mother comes around to the idea. Sister thin hair doesnt mean your ugly. Its a bit concerning when hair falls out though, so go to the doctor. I personally do not know any home-remedies for hair thickening (that aren't completely disgusting/very difficult to make) but possibly also look into this. Go to your doctor though to check hair loss isnt due to any other health problem. It may be partly hormonal as it happened to a few girls your age I know but do get it checked.
        Its not so much about dressing up but appreciating your pretty features. All girls have nice features, so focus on those and don't call yourself ugly. It puts yourself down, and gives you negative perception. If you say your ugly, you will believe it etc. Here is a good dua. Say it when you look in the mirror.

        "Alhumdulilah Allahumma kama hassanta khalqi fahassin khuluqi"
        All Praise is due to Allah. Oh Allah, just as You have given me a good physical form, so also fabour me with good morals and manners.

        Sara
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I send u solution just give a try inshallah u will feel change

  3. I am currently having the same problem. It's very ugly. When I do it, it feels pleasurable but just after finishing, I feel very very guilty and stressed.
    I think your advice will help me a lot.
    Please pray for me so that I can overcome this bad habit, I am very much worried. And I am also not growing taller. I am 16 but only 5 feet 4 inch. Maybe it is not true, but I am thinking that everything happened for those past masturbation, for this, I am getting HOPELESS day by day.

    • Unnamed, your height has nothing to do with the masturbation. Your height is due to a combination of genetics and nutrition.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average height for an adult female in the United States is 5 feet 3.8 inches. Alhamdulillah, you're right there!

      Please come back and read through this thread for more advice posted to help you with your problem and please click the links I have provided. They will help you immensely, Insha'allah!

  4. Salamu Alaikum.
    I am also a teenager 18years studying medicine in my 1st year. I was brought up in an islamic environment. I pray 5times daily on time, I fast, read quran (I memorised some parts), read hadith and my azkar( sabah and masar). I started this problem of (M tingy) at the age of 16. To be sincere, I do watch bad porn pictures sometimes and it triggers rFme into doing the M tingy and sincerely, everytime I do it, I feel soo guilty, sinful, dump. I quikly rush to the toilet and take guhsul bath, I pray 2raka'ats for forgiveness, I read quran, search some articles that will help me stop and sometimes I cry. But after a week or whenever I find internet, I get this feeling of searching some bad stuffs thinking its not going to affect me . I get horny naturally sometimes, and this triggers me into watching porn pics and leading to the M tingy. I so much did all I could ( turtoring my self, remembering hell, etc) but I always go back to it at the end. I know I have improved now from the prayer and torture to do to my self because now I do it like once a week or sometimes once in two weeks. I don't watch the porn pics except when am horny which comes naturally then pushes me to the M tingy. I do wanna get married if I find the husband but uptil now I didn't find any but if I do find, I'll definately get married as soon as possible as its the easiest cure to my problem. I also do pray to Allah S.A.W to help me find a good, religious man As soon as possible.

    • Asalaam alaikum,

      It's important that you have identified the criteria which is leading to masturbation, namely it's not your natural desire, but instead the avenues that you seek to fulfill it: porn. I am going to include a speech and a viewing of The Deen Show, for you to watch. I think it's a very healthy thing for you to learn from.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtnB3yATzXM

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2WP3tgXQrk

      In addition I want to mention that pornography is very hurtful to the women in it, whether they care or not. As such, another aspect to consider is that you are hurting them in seeking your masturbation. To watch a video or pictures of porn is a part of the haram you are committing. Every step that leads to masturbation is a form of zina, so please keep this in mind.

      I think it's important that you earnestly begin to seek a husband with your parent's help. There's plenty of online resources you can use to register yourself on to find a husband, too. You already stated the desire to get married, as physically and sexually need a husband and emotionally, with the regret you feel, you are ready, too. When you start looking for a husband with your parent's guidance, your desires will be channeled into this, so it will help quell this part of your sin, too.

      You see emotionally, one aspect of the reason you are feeling depressed is because you do not have the comfort of a partner after sexual stimulation, thus you have sinned and are literally empty handed of the love of a husband. The comfort of having your husband with you in this time is missing from your life. This is one cause of your heartache when you masturbate.

      Also, you have identified a time line, which is vitally important. In this recognition, you can prepare yourself for this time with the proper duas and discipline. It's comparable to walking down the road and you see a big hole that you are approaching. So take the steps necessary from falling in. One part of this is reading spousal selection books and reading about your rights as a woman and the duties of being a wife.

      Please see the advice given here, too.

      http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/addicted-to-masturbation/

      I gave some of this advice yesterday in another post:
      When Shaytan was asked how he would make mankind sin, he said, "Man is a intelligent creature, so I cannot just propose something outright sinful, because they will reject it. Instead I will make them choose between the best and what is merely good. Slowly but surely, as they constantly settle for good, then I can tempt them with something like 'kind of good'. Their decline will be a gradual one, step by step lowering themselves into the Hellfire. It won't burn them right away, they'll just get used to the warmth. Until I finally have them at the point where they can no longer recognize the good and choosing sin will be the easiest thing for me to whisper in their hearts. They'll be so far down, they'll never back get up."

      For every sin, there appears a black spot on our hearts. Slowly as we make the minor sins over and over again, they begin to add up until the heart becomes speckled in spots. Eventually those spots turn into large blots and those blots with more sin will finally cover the whole of the heart. It gets to the point where our sins cover ourselves and we can no longer see how we turned away our love and obedience to Allah (swt).

      Yet, Alhamdulillah, I think your success is eminent in overcoming this problem! You are recognizing what not to do and this is very important. You know the traps that are luring you in and so, you need to avert these small steps that are leading you to the larger one of masturbation.

      Insha'allah, you are on the path to being a master of your body and nafs with the help of Allah (swt). You are getting there! A bit slowly, but surely!

    • Salaam sister.

      Please read this link it is very useful, especially the first few posts:
      http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/i-watched-lesbian-porn/

      Also do be safe online. Alhumdulilah that Professor X is regular on this site and genuine, but there are and will be people who seem just as genuine as him but are not. So we must exercise caution with people online. I advise against marriage sites if you cannot fully involve parents at every stage. If you can't marry sister then the Rasool SAW advised us to fast - it weakens desire.

      Please do log in submit a post sister so we can give you further advice.

      Sara
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor.

    • same is the case with me.i m very upset.pray 4 me:(

  5. I want to also say, your sexual desire is natural, but it's not leading you to fulfill it through masturbation. The desire is there so that you can find a spouse to love.

    Alhamdulillah, He wants you to have the love of a husband. He wants you to give you the best marriage possible and that is why this desire is placed in you. Ponder this fact and you will see that your natural sexual desire is halal, but they way you are fulfilling it is not.

    Again, seriously begin to seek knowledge about being a wife and looking for a spouse. I think this will help you immensely.

  6. Thank you very much. I really do appreciate this. And don't you think that online marriage is risky? I don't think my parents will agree to that. Also, me going up to tell my parents I want a husband is kindaf disrespect according to our culture. So I think I'll just keep praying until I find a good husband and present it to them( pls help me in praying too)
    Secondly, am I still a virgin? Because I don't insert objects or any thing in my V. I don't even know where my V( seriously)

    • Walaikum salaam,

      It's not online marriage per se, but merely an avenue to put you in touch with single muslims that you and your parents can consider for marriage. I think if you and your parents see a good cross section of brothers, you may all get encouraged to seek a partner for you.

      There's this site of course, http://www.zawaj.com/ and http://www.singlemuslim.com/

      Take a look at some of the videos of their success stories. http://www.singlemuslim.com/videos.php

      A few people in my community have tried this online avenue and it has worked for them, but they also had their parents involved and I encourage you to do the same. Also, there are Islamic conferences where there are halal marriage seminars for single people that you may be able to attend. These are usually monitored by chaperons and Islamic scholars to ensure safety and correct Islamic behavior and dress. One of my friends got married this way, too!

      Please do not let culture override religion. Allah (swt) has urged the youth to get married when ready and from the sound of it, you are already at this stage. Think of it this way, you'll be married and away from sin. It is said that when a couple has a successful marriage, Shaytan cries because now half of your deen is safe from his temptation. With this in mind, speak to your mother in earnest. If she follows the rules of Islam, she'll be able to guide you in the best manner, Insha'allah.

      As long as no one touches you sexually and you avoid engaging in a sexual acts (any sexual contact) with someone, you are still a virgin. Because you have not inserted anything inside of you, more than likely you still have your hymen, which signifies your physical virginity. The hymen is difined as:

      a thin membrane that surrounds the opening to the vagina. Hymens can come in different shapes. The most common hymen in young girls is shaped like a half moon. This shape allows menstrual blood to flow out of a girl's vagina.

      I believe that this is what you were referring to instead of your actual vagina, which you should know where it is, I hope! Either that or you have a very different way of masturbating. I'm sorry for the light humor.

      Of course, I'll keep you in my duas. I'm very hopeful for you.

  7. Assalam Alakum.
    Thank you very much. I have signed in one of the website you've given to me :) Also, am studying another country while my parents are in another country so it would be hard to discuss this issues with them for now. And if I happen to find someone, are we gonna courtship via net or otherwise?
    Again, yehh it also disturbs me that I don't know where my V is but I guess I will when I get married or must I have to know before then? Lastly, yeh, I don't have physical contact with my body when doing the M tingy. Is that something else *disturbed*.... Am also sorry for the questions jazakallahu Khairan.

  8. Can I ask which country you are in and the country where you parents are at?

    As I said, I highly recommend your mother's involvement, first. Please do not be shy about it. Talk with them via videochat about finding a husband or just give them a telephone call. They might already have someone in mind or perhaps there is someone that another family member knows regarding a possible spouse. Be careful online, as it should only be used for introduction as you should have your parents heavily involved. Please practice safe methods of communication and never give out your particulars unless your parents are with you.

    If you're not actually touching your body, then Alhamdulillah, you are avoiding a great sin. I suppose instead that you are achieving masturbation through mental excitement, which is possible for some people. It's not "disturbed" per se, but it is less common. It's also possible that you are using another means, but you know best.

    However, this is also a sin because you should NOT manipulate yourself physically, mentally or emotionally to achieve such haram actions on your own. That is the domain of a spouse's duty only. I suspect you are a bit innocent concerning your own body, as well.

    I would prefer that you speak to your mother regarding your body, as you seem quite pure and unaware of such things. However, there are several sisters on the Editor board here that can guide you if you so desire. Perhaps a female Islamic guide would be the best option for you or a Islamic source of the female body.

    Just for clarification, when you refer to your "V", I interpret that as a code for your vagina. This is the place where you experience menstruation, aka your monthly bleeding. I think you may have a few terms confused, but that happens from time to time. You may be asking about a more specific part?

    However, if you are studying medicine, may I ask in which field? The reason that I ask this is because you should have taken some introductory anatomy classes, correct?

  9. Salamu Alaikum.
    Well am from ..... and my both parents( they live there)... But I study in .....
    Well this online meeting doesn't actually happen in our society so its gonna be weird and new to my mom and I know her, she will start feeling scared (may be someone is taking me away lol) Also weeeeeeeeeewwhh(sorry 4 this) I don't think I have the strength and courage to stand up and tell her I wanna get married. And I NEED A SPOUSE!! Its a taboo and believe me, she will definitely be scared and may be send me back home but she will take it seriously, only that its gonna be an innovation in the family. I'll just stick to praying InshaAllah.
    No, I don't think its kindaf mental M, I just didn't use to touch my body with my bare hands.... And yes my V is (vagina) *shy*. Yes am studying Medicine/ surgery only that am in 1st year, 1st semester and also kindaf basic for now. Please where can I find those females in this blog?
    Note: thank you so much for your time and answers you give me. Believe me it has helped me a lot for the past couple of days. I repeatly read the advice always :). May you be rewarded bountiful.

    • As salamu alaykum, sister mu´meenah,

      Please, listen to me carefully, don´t give any personal details, nobody needs that information.

      Please, your parents should know, before you initiate any kind of internet contact, don´t contact anyone through internet without their direct knowledge, this man has given you the details of a place to contact single muslims, you have signed on one of them, he wants to know where you are from, and he knows personal details from you, please be very careful, who is telling you that he is not manipulating to get in contact with you beyond the limits? You already know about him and he has gained your confidence.

      Please as a mother, I advice you to sign out of that place, don´t contact that man if he anytime get close to you and recognize you in other site, internet is a very dangerous place, please be careful, I will look for some posts for you, insha´Allah.

      Wasalam
      María,
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Sister Maria,

        I am not a part of any conspiracy against anyone. I am not listed on any single site and I repeatedly told her to seek her parent's approval first. I do not need to find a wife nor do I plan on using this site to find one. I find it insulting that you would allege such a thing by answering her questions.

        The only reason I asked which country she was from was to know if she was in a country that takes use of these methods. All of those sites ask such things and in Africa, there are present, but are not customary as she has said. Again, I did not seek to use anything against her. In retrospect I suppose I should have just asked her the continent.

        For your information, I am half a world away from this girl and I do not plan on visiting Africa anytime soon.

        You can check my advice to anyone and everyone here. I have always sought to keep a proper decorum and a fair perspective. I have refrained from judging anyone harshly, as well.

        If you see fit to question my motives, then I am sure the Editors and Owner here will ban me or take whatever steps necessary. However, I do want to say this:

        I came to this place in order to find solace after a dire problem I suffered. It has been difficult in many ways and the only peace I find is by helping people with their problems. I am sorry if you think I would abuse my privilege granted by Allah (swt) in this world to do such a thing to anyone, especially someone who is nearly the same age as my niece. I understand that online communications can be dangerous at times, but I would appreciate the dignity that others are given by not leveling outright accusations against me. Brother Wael can probably log in and read my IP address and will assure you I am nowhere near the vicinity of this poor girl who needs help.

        And yet, I know your heart is in the right place. You are a good sister Maria. God be with you.

        Thank you for the time I was here.

        • As salamu alaykum,

          Forgive me if you feel insulted, I wanted to wake her and you up, you should think about the consequences of your words, I did, and I understand your reaction, I understand you have seen my point and you see that wasn´t against you specially, was about the ways, that I understand are a result of your lack of experience in this kind of situations, this reminds me of your comment where devil made us choose between good and almost good, I am realizing that to talk about such personal matters can create a bond, a kind of link between the people involved, (I appreciated you guided her towards female editors) but again the safety of this girl was very important to me and it should be for you, if one attain ourselves to just answer which is the problem without seeking personal information and helping them to protect themselves, my alert system will stay sleeping.

          What I want is that she is prevented and alerted about the dangers that contact through internet can bring to her life, and many adolescents read this page, warn them is it good too, to share personal details, it is not good and to be in contact with other people without parents knowledge and consent neither.

          Having a niece her age, yourself should help you to understand what I am talking about, and Alhamdulillah, you do. Doesn´t sound very nice to me to offer a single service to an eighteen years old? even when you mention the parents, she has signed up already withouth the parents knowledge, she just told you, doesn´t it give you a clue why it lighten my alert sistem? She is trusting you more than her parents, and you might be a good man, but I don´t know you and she doesn´t either, what happens if any man contact her and she hides it from her family ? wouldn´t you feel responsible for her? Me, Yes, and you know it., Alahmdulillah.

          Adolescents, young women fall on the hands of predators due to their innocence and their need of being independant, didn´t you feel the world was yours at that age and nobody could harm you? and hard to trust fully parents because we wanted to have our own life and take our own decisions?.

          I am really sorry for being so tough, but I need it to make this call of attention, specially to all those teenagers and young people that read the site, our responsibility to guide them straight and warn them of dangers, at least in the best way possible.

          Again, Insha´Allah, you forgive me for being so harsh, but my alert system was with all the lights on.

          Brother Professor X, I hope you find your answers and Allah(swt) soften your pain and struggles, thank you very much for being of so much help on this site, maybe if you log in and write your worries, brothers and sisters here can offer you back a bit of what you have given to us, masha´Allah.

          Brother, I do appreciate deeply you comments to everyone and you earned my respect with them, I hope you understand why I felt what I felt and my reaction, you are a grown up man, she is an eighteen years old, my heart was with her and the young people reading us, as I see you understand.

          Wasalam
          María
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • My ways weren´t the most appropiate either, I am very sorry for it.
            Insha´Allah, Allah(swt) and you forgive me.

            María
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • No, you are right. I am too overly eager to help. It also worried me that she signed up for one of those services so readily, as you have pointed it out and I should have stressed that fact, but it seemed that she was aware of doing so would upset her mother. Yet Alhamdulillah, a sister did "swoop in."

            I do have to ask though, that isn't one of those sites a part of this one? Or vice versa?

            Also worrisome is that there are some aspects of terminology that she is unaware of. I hope that one of the sisters here can guide her if her mother chooses not to do so. This point of sexual education has been a point of contention in Islamic circles. It was one of the reasons I did not give her a link because there doesn't seem to be anything out there in this regard. In fact, all the links I found were morally and ethically questionable. I hope there is one that I'm overlooking, so if you know one, please share it with her.

            The issue of online predators is twofold, mostly by ignorance that is shared when parents are not keen to involve their children in marriage when appropriate. I think what you find in these cases wherein the girl is young, she had either requested to be married or the parents were rejecting her proposals based on insufficient grounds. I see it a bit differently, as I see many young people falling into worldly traps that could have been avoided if people followed Islamic recommendations for marriage instead. However, I will take your advice to heart and refrain from recommending these sites.

            It's very important that you did warn of forming bonds with anyone online. I am too keenly aware of the Syrian incident from last year where two men who were posing as a young women during the Arab Uprising and the many cases of fraudulent identities before. If this website doesn't have a disclaimer here to address those effects, then perhaps it should be initiated?

            In all earnest objectivity however, I will take all of your advice and apply it accordingly. May Allah (swt) guide us on the Right Path.

          • As salamu alaykum,

            Ameen to your prayer.

            To advice a single service it is not wrong, if you get to know the person is a grown up adult and you have references of it. Insha´allah, Brother Wael will talk to you more properly than me about it, he knows that subject very good.

            My Heart finds Peace, knowing that you understand what I meant and you listened to it, Alhamdulillah.

            If you have spare time, take a look to the posts published on the past, search using the words that troublesome you and, insha´Allah, you will find answers. There are many brothers and sisters that have left seeds of hope, unconditional love, wisdom and knowledge, have told us many experiences and have opened our eyes to different ways, Alhamdulillah. Insha´Allah, your Heart will open up to many realities that maybe completely new to you.

            In this site, you will find answers to many sexual questions, I am sorry I cannot write deeply on the subject right now, but surely if not me, one of my editor´s sisters will.

            We are not perfect, me the last one, but Insha´Allah with Allah(swt) and our brothers and sisters help, we´ll improve and be better, day by day.

            Thank you for being so understanding.

            Allah(swt) knows best and all.

            Wasalam,
            María
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Professor X, I'm happy that you and Maria have come to an understanding, Alhamdulillah. We value your presence here on this website and we know you did not mean any harm.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • These are some posts that may help you, insha´Allah.

        http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/marry-now-or-wait/

        http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/want-to-marry-now-but-parents-want-me-to-finish-degree-first/

        http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/wants-to-marry-but-how-to-ask/

        There are many comments on this site about terrible situations that have happened to girls that trusted men that they knew through internet, please, keep yourself safe and don´t trust them, you don´t know what it is behind the computer at the other side, you just know what they want you to know.

        And an experienced man can take you wherever he wants you to be, much more being so innocent as you are. There are many wolfs dress with sheeps covers out there, please be careful. I trust you are mature enough to be able to see the dangers I am talking to you about, they are not stories, they are real life, and you insha´Allah, have a brilliant future in front of you to lose it for a wrong step.

        May Allah(swt) open our senses to take the right decisions and make the straight movements that will keep us on the straight Path. Ameen.

        Wasalam,
        María
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Asalaam alaikum,

      Insha'allah, I will make dua for you. I am unfamiliar with the customs in your country, but perhaps your parents may have already been asked about you marriage status from someone else. Islamically there is nothing wrong in saying so in a request to your parents. I know that culture often comes into play, but you are trying to keep yourself away from sin, so this is the better part of Islam. Insha'allah, when you visit your parents, you can speak to your mother about it. Till then, keep praying and follow the advice to be read.

      I believe that perhaps culturally, you have kept in the dark about certain aspects of your body, at least terminology wise, and this can be problematic in discussing it online. First, I do not want to impose on you any wrong ideas about conversing online, as this matter is kind of private, but at the same time, Islamically, you should not be kept aloof of your own anatomy and biology. I'm kind of torn here as to how much I should discuss, but Insha'allah, hopefully one of the sisters can swoop in to alleviate the situation. Yet, you will learn this knowledge in school studying anatomy, so it's only a matter of time.

      You said that you didn't know where your "V" is, though. I think you may need some guidance in terminology. It's important that a every person knows their body and the responsibility that comes in taking care of it as it is a loan from Allah (swt) that we must safeguard.

      I'm very encouraged that you are seeking guidance, but it does not come from me, but is inspired from Allah (swt). My grandmother always used to say, "Do not 'thank' me, but thank God."

      If there is anything else you need to overcome this problem with more advice or resources, just ask. I am more than happy to help you stay on the Right Path. As I said, there is a lot of hope for you.

      Prophet Mohammad (saw) has said:

      "Blessed are the women of the Ansar (citizens of Medina). Shyness did not stand in their way seeking knowledge about their religion."

  10. Cleaning ur soul schedule:
    1.Every morning read surat 114,113,112 three times each after praying fajr
    2.Pray 2 rakk and read al-fataha 114,113,112 three times each
    3.At night pray isha then 2 rakka and then read 114,113,112 three times
    4.When there is time in the day you can say
    DUA'A 16

    O Lord, I have wronged myself. So forgive me. Verily save You there is no one who can protect from the consequences of sinning.

    RABBI INNEE Z'ALAMTU NAFSEE FAGHFIRLEE INNAHOO LAA YAGHFIRUD 'D'UNOOBA ILLA ANTA

    DUA'A 17

    O Allah, I seek forgiveness for every sin, I committed, about which, of course, You know inside and out, from the beginning to the end of my life, whether committed deliberately or intentionally, few or many, abstruse or manifest, old or new, secretly carried out or openly done; and for whatever wrong I have done I turn repentant unto You and beseech You to bless Muhammad and the children of Muhammad and forgive all my unjust acts I did to wrong the people (because they have rights which I have to recognize and fulfill) but You have full authority to forgive those wrongdoings whenever and howsoever You wish, O the most merciful.

    ALLAHUMMA INNEE ASTAGHFIRUKA LIKULLI D'AMBIN JARAA BIHEE I'LMUKA FIYYA WA A'LAYYA ILAA AAKHIRI U'MREE BI-JAMEE-I D'UNOOBEE LI-AWWALIHAA WA AAKHIRIHAA WA A'MADIHAA WA KHAT A-IHAA WA QALEELIHAA WA KATHEERIHAA WA DAQEEQIHAA WA JALEELIHAA WA QADEEMIHAA WA H'ADEETHIHAA WA SIRRIHAA WA A'LAANIYATIHAA WA JAMEE-I MAA ANAA MUD'NIBUHOO WA ATOOBU ILAYKA WA AS-ALUKA AN TUS'ALLIYA A'LAA MUH'AMMADIN WA AALI MUH'AMMADIN WA AN TAGHFIRA LEE JAMEE-A, MAA AH'S'AYTU MIM MAZ'AALIMIL I'BAADI QIBALEE FA-INNA LI-IBAADIKA A'LAYYA H'UQOOQAN WA ANAA MURTAHINUM BIHAA TAGHFIRUHAA KAYFA SHI-TA WA ANNAA SHIA-TA YAA ARH'AMAR RAAH'IMEEN

    DUA'A 18The following istighfar is tekan from Sahifa Alawiyyah by Imam Ali Ibn Abi Talib. It can be recited after any obligatory salat

    O Allah, I seek Your forgiveness for those wrongdoings for which I had turned repentant unto you but have done again. I seek your forgiveness for those deeds which I planned to do for your sake only but afterwards other interests not connected with You crept in, and I seek Your forgiveness for my taking advantage of the bounties, You gave me, in order to disobey You. I seek forgiveness of Allah (who is) “There is no god save He, the self-subsisting, the knower of the unknown and known, the beneficent, the merciful.” For all those sins which I have committed and for all those transgressions I perpetrated. O Allah grant me perfect ability to use, follow and apply reason, astute and keen determination, preponderant genius, pure heart, all-embracing wisdom and beautiful elegent manners. Let all these favours work for my good; let them not harm me, through your mercy, O the most merciful.

    Then say 5 times:

    I seek forgiveness of Allah who is: “There is no god save He, the self-subsisting” and I turn repentant unto Him.

    "ALLAHUMMA INNEE ASTAGHFIRUKA MIN KULLI MAA TUBTU ILAYKA MINHU THUMMA U'DTU FEEHI WA ASTAGHFIRUKA LIMAA ARADTU BIHEE WAJHAKA FA-KHAALAT'ANEE FEEHI MAA LAYSA LAKA WA ASTAGHFIRUKA LIN-NA A'MIL LATEE MANANTA BIHAA A'LAYYA FA TAQAWWAYTU BIHAA A'LAA MA-A'AS'EEKA ASTAGHFIRUL-LAAHAL LAD'EE LAA ILAAHA ILLAA HUWAL H'AAYUL QAYYOOMU A'ALIMUL GHAYBI WASH SAAHAADATIR RAH'MAANUR RAH'EEM LI KULLI D'AMBIN AD'NABTUHOO WA BI-KULLI MA'S'IYATIN IRTAKABTUHAA ALLAAHUMMAR-ZUQNEE A'QLAN KAAMILAN WA A'ZMAN THAAQIBAN WA LUBBAN RAAJIH'AN WA QALBAN D'AKIYYAN WA I'LMAN KATHEERAN WA ADABAN BAARI-A'N WAJ-A'L D'AALIKA KULLAHOO LEE WA LAA TAJ-A'LHU A'LAYYA BI-RAH'MATIKA YAA ARH'AMAR RAH'IMEEN

    Then say 5 times :

    ASTAGHFIRULLAAHAL LAD'EE LAA ILAAHA ILLAA HUWAL H'AYYUL QAYYOOMU WA ATOOBU ILAYHI

    DUA'A 19The following istaghfar is taken from Sahifa Alawiyyah by Imam Ali ibm Abi Talib. It can be recited at any time :

    O Allah, forgive me wrongdoings which you know inside and out, and if I do them again, then forgive me again. O Allah, forgive me for not fulfilling those promises I made to myself but did not put them into effect. O Allah, forgive me the mysterious suggestions of the eyes, my bad language, forgetfulness, carelessness, and foolish utterances.

    ALLAAHUMMAGH-FIR LEE MAA ANTA A'LAMU BIHEE MINNEE FA-IN U'DTU FA-U'D LEE BIL-MAGHFIRAH ALLAAHUMMAGH-FIR LEE MAA WA-A'DTU MIN NAFSEE WA LAM TAJID LAHOO WAFAA-AN I'NDEE ALLAAHUM-MAGH-FIR LEE RAMAZAATIL ALH'AAZ'I WA SAQAT'AATIL ALFAAZ'I WA SAHAWAATIL JINNAANI WA HAFAWAATIL LISAANI

    DUA'A 20The following istighfar is taken from the Sahifa Alawiyyah by Imam Ali Ibn abi Talib. It can be recited at any time :

    O Allah, I beseech You because (praise be to You. There is no god save You, the munificent, the originator of the heavens and the earth, the owner of glory and generosity) I am a needy beseecher, an apologetic suppliant and a repentant seeker of pardon. O Allah send blessing on Muhammad and on the children of Muhammad and forgive me all my sins, old and new, committed by me. O Allah, do not aggravate my misfortunes and do not let my enemies laugh at me, because there is no remover and preventer (of misfortune) save You.

    ALLAAHUMMA INNEE AS-ALUKA BI-ANNA LAKAL H'AMDU LAA LAA ILAAHA ILLAA ANTAL MANNAANU BADEE-U'S SAMAAWAATI WAL ARZ'I D'UL JALLAALI WAL IKRAAM INNEE S'AA-ILUN FAQEERUN WA KHAA-IFUN MUSTAJEERUN WA TAA-IBUN MUSTAGHFIR ALLAAHUMMA S'ALLI A'LAA MOHAMMADIN WA AALE MOHAMMAD WAGFIRLI D'UNOOBEE KULLAAHAA QADEEMAHAA WA H'ADEETHAHAA WA KULLA D'ANBIN AD'NABTOH ALLAAHUMMA LAA TAJHAD BALAAA-EE WA LAA TUSHMIT BEE A'-DAAA-EE FA-INNAHOO LAA DAAFI-A'WA LAA MAANI-A ILLAA ANT

    DUA'A 21The following istighfar, a form of seeking pardon, is taken from the Sahifa, Alawiyyah by Imam Ali ibn abi Talib.

    O He who has absolved me of those sins I committed in my house and in the houses of other persons. O He who did not take me to task for the sins committed by me, (I seek) Your pardon, O generous pardoner.

    YAA MAN A'FAA A'NNEE WA A'MMAA KHALAWTU BIHEE MINAS SAW-AATI FEE BAYTEE WA GHAYRI BAYTI YAA MAL LAM YU-AAKHID'NEE BIRTIKAABIL MA-A'AS'EE A'FWUKA A'FWUKA YAA KAREEMU A'FWUKA

    DUA'A 22The Holy Prophet said:To seek forgiveness of Allah recite surah Ali Imran

    DUA'A 23 Imam Jafar bin Muhammad as Sadiq said:
    1) He who has intended to do good but could not, is credited with the good in his record of good deeds.
    2) He who intends to do good and actually does so will receive tenfold of reward determined for that one good deed.
    3) He who intends to do wrong but does not put it into practice will not be asked for any explanation.
    (4) He who intends to do evil and actually does so, has an hour at his disposal to turn repentant unto Allah. The angel who records good deeds asks the angel who records evil deeds to wait. May be the sinner does a good deed which wipes out the evil deed done by him.
    Verily good deeds take away evil deeds. If he repents and recites the following istighfar his sin will not be recorded.
    I seek forgiveness of Allah who is: “There is no god save He, the knower of the unknown and the known, the mighty, the wise, the oft-forgiving, the merciful, the owner of glory and grace”; and I turn repentant unto Him.

    ASTAGHFIRUL-LAAHAL LAD'EE LAA ILAAHA ILLAA HUWA A'ALIMUL GHAYBI WASH SHAHADAATIL A'ZEEZUL H'AKEEMUL GHAFOORUL RAH'EEM D'UL JALAALI WAL IKRAAMI WA ATOOBU ILAYHI.

    DUA'A 24According to Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib - Ibn Babawayh al-Qummi says the following du-a'a gives strength and assurance of faith to do good and avoid evil. If it is recited three times by the end of evening the whole night till morning becomes a protected period during which no evil comes near the reciter.

    So glory be to Allah when you enter the evening and when you enter the morning. For His is the praise in the heavens and the earth-at the sun’s decline and when you enter the noon.

    FA-SUBH'AANALLAAHI H'EENA TUMSOONA WA H'EENA TUS'BIH'OON. WA LAHUL H'AMDU FIS SAMAAWAATI WAL ARZ'I WA A'SHIYYAW WA H'EENA TUZ'HIROON

  11. Allsalamoalikum

    I have a same problem.i am 14 and i cannot stop masturbating whenever i go to take a bath
    and the worst thing is that ive watched a few porn videos :-(
    and now i cant control my self.....please help me

    • Asalaam alaikum,

      Please read the above advice and watch the videos in the links. It'll help you to cope and understand your problem so that you can overcome it, Insha'allah,

      However, a bit of practical advice is also in order regarding your circumstances. If you are watching porn online, then you need to make sure that you are not alone with your computer. So you need to place it in a public place in your house so that you will not be tempted to watch those videos. If there are other sources of porn in the house that are yours' (which is illegal for you to be watching), you need to throw them away. If they belong to someone else in your house (God forbid, your parents), you should write a discrete note on your printer, leave it for them to find and asking them to throw the videos away.

      When you bathe, you need to make it your mission to take a shower quickly and not a bath. Use cold water and try to keep it under 7 minutes. You should also say a prayer when you enter your lavatory by reciting "Bismillah" at the least or reciting one of the recommended prayer hen you enter the bathroom. Make a habit of reciting the "Qul" Suras is also meant to keep your lustful thoughts from occurring and seeking refuge with Allah (swt).

      If there is anything else you need help with, let us know. It's always distressing to see the poison of porn is infecting another youth, but the good thing is that you are looking for help. By taking this step and seeking guidance, Insha'allah, things will start getting better for you.

  12. try to reduce your body temperature & your private parts by cold water thats very effective way which I have tried for several times.

  13. i have a same problem.i am 20 and i cannot stop masturbating and watching porn it effect on my eye sight and stamina also plz plz plz help meee

  14. Assalamualaikum. I am a teenage Muslim girl. I have been doing masturbation since last year. I've stopped for 9 months but I started again. I feel very, very, extremely guilty as I just found out that it is haram. I found out that Allah s.w.t. would never even look at people who masturbates. I felt so sinful of this. I just want to end this once and for all. I also learn that it might affect future marriage ? I don't really understand, i'm too afraid and ashamed to tell my mother or ask anyone. So I just had to turn to here to seek for help. Please help me. Please, please, please.

    • Unknown, please log in and submit your question as a separate post. Or you can search our database for previous answers on this subject (there are many). My opinion is that there's no clear evidence that masturbation is haram, and that it's not a big deal if you do it occasionally and it does not interfere with your prayers or your life.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • sister salam just I will say 1 thing u to and u have to act upon them right
      that 9 months ago u sttoped just think what thing make u sttoped doing this and also think what thing make u again doing this again!!!!!!!!????????? Act upon on those ways that u stopped doing thats it nw think and u got a way

  15. Assalamu alaikum sara.
    i m almost 21 years old girl.i have a girl friend.i love her alot.i m not a lesbian.bt when my friend comes in front of me,i cant control myself.i touch her alott.i know that it is very wrong.just due to this reason i do masturbation to feel her.i dont want to do this.what should i do?plz help me and guide me.i ll be very thankful 2 u:(

    • Soni, please log in and submit a seperate post so we can help you InshaAllah
      My short answer to you is you need to stay away from your 'friend' no matter how difficult it is.
      If your friend is not around you it is much less likely to happen. Protect your nafs and fast regularly if you can.

      Sara
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  16. Salaamz to all.....

    i got the same problem actually it ususally happen u can say once in a month i just want to stop it... its damned truth that m watching porn... but not always but still want to get rid of this as well... I always try to ignore this but after some time if i dont do masterbating then wet dreams happena dn its shame for me as well.. i'm 23 years old still trying to get of this stuff kindly do the needful and help me out in this ur advises will be highly appreciated....

    • khan, there's nothing shameful about having a wet dream. It's perfectly normal.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Khan g wet dreams is natural process and it happens naturally, its a part of your body growth during life period. Its not masturbation. its good to have a bad wet dream rather than masturbate.

  17. Assalamu alaikum..re
    i m almost 21 years old girl.i have a girl friend.i love her alot.i m not a lesbian.bt when my friend comes in front of me,i cant control myself.i touch her alott.i know that it is very wrong.just due to this reason i do masturbation to feel her.i dont want to do this.what should i do?plz help me and guide me.i ll be very thankful 2 u:(.plz plz help me

  18. Assalam O Allaikum,
    I have indulged in Masturbation.I tried my best to avoid masturbation but i can't.Sometimes i feel that i am going to die if i dont do that.I know it is Haram but no matter what I try i can't get rid of this habbit.For true, I watched porn 2 years before(i m 16) and those videos are still stored in my mind.I want to get rid of this habbit because i don't want this ugly.I want to make Allah happy but I fail everytime . Everytime after Masturbation i take bath after masturbation and then go for Prayer.This feeling is very hard to control in morning when i am in bed.I FEEL VERY VERY UGLY after doing that.
    PLEASE HELP ME STOP THIS HABBIT AND PRAY FOR ME TO ALLAH ALMIGHTY. At time of study,I can't concentrate on book due to bad thoughts.IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN HELP ME TO STOP THIS???.By the way,Marriage is not possible for me in this young age because i am tooo young.
    I HOPE THAT ALLAH WILL SURELY FORGIVE ME BUT I DONT WANT TO MAKE HIM UNHAPPY.
    So,plz HElp Me And Pray for Me.

    • salam brother don't take tension relax itsnt a big matter just do what I tell u righ
      make ur goood accompany
      safe ur eyes means nazar ki hayfazat
      don't eat hot foods and also like knns kfc mack donel
      don't use internet alone if u use sit someone with ur self
      take hakeemi treatment brother ur 70%problem solve by treatment u won't belive inshallah u will feel change in one week

    • Come on brother cheer up.

      Ask for Allah to help you and tawbah to not to do this again ever. and follow the advices of Sara.

      I know you can win!

  19. my brother ... only one way to get rid of this habit is that
    1 start hakeem medicine I'm gonna send u medecine names
    Always think positive and don't talk with girls even in ur family right
    just only concentreat at ur health and inshallah take tablets u will never ever even think about mastur......

    • i hope the tablets / medicine's name you want to let people know does not spoil things more. (i hope you understood what i mean)

      People must be careful.!!

      _______________________________
      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  20. Salam sara u doing great job right here
    Allah ap ko jazai kheir dy

  21. i am 22 years old boy and i'm doing masturbation last 7 years due to this problem my future is also bad many times i try to get rid of this bad habit but i could not success. please help me in this problem if i avoid this habit due to your message so i always remember in my prayers. please help me

  22. Wael and Sara, I really appreciate your efforts. You are doing a great job.

    Thanks for helping the people who are depressed and confused.

  23. I have done masturbation and now I want to quit it. I know I'll be able to successfully quit it but what I fear the most is what kind of problems would I have after marriage. Is there anyway that I could be consoled that after quitting masturbation, I won't face any problems in future?

    Eagerly waiting for your reply.

    • XYZ,

      Please read the answers already given. Also search for other posts thatvwe have published on this subject; there are plenty and hopefully will help you find a solution.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  24. Assalam O Alikum.

    Thanks to all of you who gives useful suggestions to avoids masturbation. I have same problem. I am turning 21 this year but still do this bad thing. I really wanna quit it as it is not acceptable in Islam and in society. Few years back I used to say my prayers 5x a day but now I don't know why but i lost my interest I want to be good muslim. A boy with safe n sound health mind and iman. because of masturbation now sometimes some drops are ejected even if i urinate properly because of this I can not say salath. Please pray for me and other muslims like this. I do tasbeeh of Astghfar and recite verses of Quran which i have learnt by heart. Is there any way to avoid those drops and masturbation by some natural way ? I mean by some fruit ?
    I know the ultimate cure is my will power to stop masurbation but my dear sisters and brothers I request you to remember me in your prayers specially.
    Allah bless you all.
    Wasalam.

    • @Shahrukh

      Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.

      Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

      The difference between maniy and madhiy is that
      maniy is thick and has a smell, and it comes out in gushes when desire intensifies.
      Madhiy is a thin liquid that has no smell, and it does not gush out or come out when desire intensifies, rather it comes when desire has calmed down.

      Wadiy is a liquid that comes out after urinating, a few white drops that appear at the end of urination.

      This is a description of these three things.

      With regard to the rulings on them, wadiy is subject to the same rulings as urine, in all aspects.

      Madhiy is somewhat different to urine with regard to purification, because it is less naajis, so it is sufficient to sprinkle water on it. So one should put water on the area (of the clothes) affected, without squeezing it or rubbing it. Similarly a man should wash his entire penis and testicles even if no madhiy got on them.

      Maniy is taahir (pure) and there is no need to wash what it gets onto, unless that is to remove any marks or traces, but it necessitates ghusl.

      Madhiy, wadiy and urine, on the other hand, necessitate wudoo’.

      Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthyameen, 11/169.
      _____________________________________

      If you dint understand this. feel free to ask.

      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  25. M Yousaf, Wa Alaikum as Salam,

    You might have got Erectile Dysfunction, but I am not sure. You may have to do a bit of research and also consult a doctor.

    Concerning masturbation and porn; we have published many posts on these subjects, please refer to them.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  26. please help me make dua for me iv been masturbating for almost 2 years cant stop help

  27. im only 14 i beg my whole life someone reply i dont wanna go to hell man i wanna be good person but when im in my room home alone i cannot control i fear alot i wanna make ghusl also but when i do i think i do it wrong all the time and i still dont feel good after i do that i think my life is horrible nothing else i feel like im already decided im just a nasty pig thats all.

    • You are a human, you are not horrible and you are not a bad person. You are a normal 14 year old boy.

      You may try to fasting. Try to distract yourself by involving yourself in the community or sports so that you are not so focused on your urges.

      shaitaan is telling you that you are not a good person--do not call yourself nasty or any other bad names--you are a wonderful creation of Allah swt.

      Make small changes in your life that you can sustain and focus on those. Small changes and small goals that are attainable will make it easier for you to get to your greater goal of being the person you see yourself as.

      Do not lose hope. Do not succumb to the whispers of shaitaan
      Do remember Allah and constantly do dhikr.
      Ramadhan is coming, so take that opportunity to re-direct your thinking.

      May Allah help you to overcome your problem and make you the best in emaan inshaAllah, Ameen.

      • you guys are the only one we can talk to with our personal problems it is much embarresing telling somebody else thanks from Ali hasan.

  28. thank you i read other posts also i but i have another question how can i make ghusl i always think i do it wrong not sure.

  29. thank you guys i read other posts and ur message saba u guys really help salam.

  30. thank u i read other post too thanks saba salam

  31. The Best way to stop masturbating is to do "JOGGING"
    Its my personal experiance
    chose a ground in your city which you like the most take exercise and do jogging it will help you to avoide Masturbating...
    Hope that it will be helpful for you!!!
    There are many advantages of jogging

    1. Running outdoors helps expose body to sunshine (morning jogging) and open air

    2. Improves lung capacity and increases body intake of oxygen. Increase in Oxygen helps effective body fat burning

    3.The deep breathing which happens naturally improves stamina. It also improves the body’s metabolic rate (the rate at which food converts into energy)

    4. More intake of Oxygen directly into blood stream makes the exercise more effective and produces more energy

    5. High Oxygen intakes lessens the effect of aging and one looks younger

    6. Higher Oxygen intake increases the burning of more calories and increases capacity to work harder

    7. Enhances sleep and improves the body schedule

    8. Such kind of activities, like morning jogging, helps cure forms of depression and improves moods

    9. Slightly uneven jogging running surface helps make one use of unused muscles and improves body balance

    10. Helps improve ones ability to be focused and alert all the time

    GooD LucK

    Remember ME In your Prayers

  32. salam brothers and sisters its me brother ali i just wanted to tell u after i have masturbated and stoped a while ago thanks to ur posts i am having a bad day and seems like i am still getting sexual thoughts by shaitan still. and today i was eating chinese fortune cookie and i read it said take the time to do it right, otherwise you will have to take the time to do it over.this means about my GHUSL i was doing it right i dont understand this i knew i was doing it wrong i had that feeling because after i was alone again in the morning i felt like doing it again this close.i wanna do ghusl but i know im doing it wrong may someone please help i am confused still please reply somebody salam.

  33. im also addicted to ghusl everyday i feel like im forcing myself to do ghusl all over again and again it seems like somebodys telling me.

  34. thanks i was searching from the top and could not find alright salam

  35. ASSALAMUALIKUM
    thanks for the information
    it is very goood and it works really
    again thanks especially sister sara

  36. About being ugly: did u kno when u masturbate, the light from ur face will dissapear? The dark circles under ur eye is mostly caused by weak kidneys. Ur kidneys becomes weak when u masturbate. A sexual intercause btween husbnd n wfe actually gives a kind of 'reflectiology massage' (excuse my bad spelling) that is good for your well being n your skin will glow. Plus, if u bathe an hour or two before fajr prayers, you can become slimmer. The cholesterol in your body will break n begone which is why our prophet always take his bath at around 4.30am every morning. Plus, a perfect wudhu also improves your aura. Try take a picture before n after wudhu with an aura camera. You'll b surprised.

  37. Assalam o alikum plz help me i want some information and motivation actually i have been masturbating since 13 and i wanna control it becoz our religion forbids this act and i also feel weakness at all time it also did bad effect on my health apparently i look soooooooo weak so plz help me.

    Q: i also wanna know that does masturbates waste our muscle or it make person thin? becoz my weight is very low
    Q:how islam forbid this act?

    thanks i will wait for reply.

    • abdur rehman, see the answers already given. Masturbation - while it is discouraged and may interfere with your practice of Islam - will not affect your health or make you thin or weak. That's a myth.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  38. Thank you soo much for this ....

  39. A.A
    i am gonna turn 15 next year.. and since last year since i got my period and reached my puberty i used to masturbate. I have this urge to do it, and later i feel like i am not a muslim :'( I KNOW its really wrong and i want ways how to prevent this.
    This Ramadan i even prayed to ALLAH to forgive me but i just end up masturbating. I FEEL VERY DEPRESSED AFTER THIS THING.
    Please tell me whats the gunnah of doing masturbating and all. AND HOW TO PREVENT IT.
    i remember how i used to have this connection with Allah, now its just not there. Thats the saddest part. And its nothing related to my friends or anything. And now i think about boys more like before i never used to think about them. NOW i have this urge to talk to them and all wrong stuff. (but i dont) I JUST ATTRACTED TO THEM when i dont want to.
    When i look at some guy those sexual thoughts just come in my head. And it feels good for some time but then its just that as if i am not a muslimah.
    My parents are really islamic. AND i dont want them to be punished cause of what i do.
    i just really wanna stop. I never used to listen to music but now people in my class are all into music and tv shows (american like PLL and all) and you know how these shows openly show sex and these activities. AND BEFORE when i used watch all this i used to have this inner feeling of NOT watching it but now its like i dont mind watching porn and all. I HAVE NEVER talked about this to anyone.
    AND are we suppose to have ghusul right after we masturbate cause this grey liquidish thing is produced.
    PLEASE HELP ME. thanks, jazakAllahKhair
    PLEASE HELP ME, i just really wanna stop.

  40. whenever some dirty thoughts overcome my mind & this feeling is strong i abruptly go to a populated place and sing at the top of my voice.

  41. Asalamualaikum.. My name is Muhmmad Abdullah and i am 14 years old. Just like many of my Muslims friend i also face the difficulty of stop masturbating however i managed to stop masturbating for a month through your guide because of your guidance and that is why i am very thankful to you all and i always pray for all of you. I wanted to ask are there any ways of recovering from the effects of mastrubating such as low stamina, short memory, pain in legs, hair loss and lack of concentration. Please do help me and because im young i am not able to get any operation or eat medicines. Please.

    • Muhammad, masturbation does not have any of the effects that you described. That is a myth. More worrying is that it might interfere with the performance of your prayers, lead to viewing pornography, or cause you embarrassment if you are discovered. In any case, if you wish to stop or cut back, then read the advice given on this post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Asalamualaikum,
        Thank you for replying to my message. You said that mastrubation has no harmful effects right. But if you search on google by typing "how to finish the effects" and search you will find many people facing this problem like this site "http://cure-erectile-dysfunction.org/overcome-effects-of-over-masturbating/410". After investigating on this issue please tell me a cure. Even then if you think it is not possible then please tell me something that cures all these problems because your not going to help me only but also those million people who are suffering from this like me.
        Thank you,
        Yours sincerely,
        Muhammad Abdullah

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Some of the symptoms you describe may be related to stress and worry, and some research has suggested that people may be more likely to masturbate (kind of as a way to try to feel something nice).

      There is a lot of misinformation and myths circulating the internet about various positive and negative "consequences" of masturbation. Rather than worrying about these, try to use your energy to make your life better. Spend time with pious brothers, take up a physical activity, do some voluntary work, encourage family activities... Once you feel better about yourself, inshaAllah you will have less desire to masturbate, and if you're going to bed tired after a busy day, you'll be less likely to be tempted.

      If you keep experiencing the symptoms you have described for more than a couple of weeks after making changes to your lifestyle, it might help to speak with your doctor or a school nurse. They might be able to give you more advice and support, or put you in touch with a counsellor to help support you (there's far more to medicine than just pills, I promise!). Given your age, I think it's entirely reasonable to want to avoid medications unless essential, so if your doctor doesn't take your views on this into consideration, it would be worth asking for a second opinion.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  42. as salaam alaikum, i am 19 years old and have this problem for past 6-7 years.plz help i cant control myself. can u teel me any surah name or wird to control this bat habbit

  43. [Comment removed.]

    [Editor's note: Please look at the advice given on other posts addressing this question, as it is a commonly asked one. If you require additional information or advice, please log in and submit your query as a post for publication - it can then be answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  44. Assalmualikum. I'm 17 year old boy.I'm also suffering from this problem. I gave up on every bad habit except this one. Everyday i try to stop this but i fail :( I can't even get married as i'm too young. I just want to stop this :( Please make du'aa for me people

  45. I also have masturbation problem, and could not control on myself. when ever i was alone i could not control on myself. i tried many time to stop by talking to myself that i will not do i will not do. but i do not know how i start watch porn sites and then masturbate happens. i eel very sorry after that. even i do not look at girls and say my Prayer mostly to ALLAH PAK. But still i find no solution. tell me plz what i do to stop it. the exact solution i need. thats why i am not paying attention to my studies.

    • Usman, see the answers already given. The most important thing is that you must stop watching porn. It is utterly haram.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • ok.Wael je. i will stop watching that.. i will try my best. but i already tried it many time to not to watch them...but. so i will do as you said. but thnx to you.

  46. A.o.A

    There IS Nothing Impossible You can Stop this BAd HAbbit Just try these Steps Which I SUed
    1= Think that When You Mastubate You Enjoy Alot What HAppen If That Same Power Will Stay In You Then You Will Enjoy More Then That

    2= Go To Gym Daily WithOut Any gap After 1 Month MAke Gap Of 1 Day IN A Week

    3= Just Try To Keep Yourself Involved In Some Activity Which require Power

    4= (for porn sites) They Getting Mony By Doing This And You loosing Enegry To Make Then Rich

    5= Just Play KAbbadi Not To break Bones But To make Bones Strong :)

    Hope Allah Save You Me And All muslims From This BAd Habbit InnShaaAllah

    TakeCare :)

  47. my question is nt abw masturburating...

    [Editor's note: If you require advice about a situation, you need to submit a new post for publication, rather than asking your question in a comment - that way your question can be answered in turn, inshaAllah. It may help you to read other questions on this site that relate to your query.]

  48. I am also suffering from this awful disease known as masturbation, I have already tried restraining myself and praying to Allah , but I am not able to as I fear that I have left the circle of islam, it prevents me from praying to Allah, I know that this may sound idiotic but I fear that if Pray to Him , I would be disrespecting him in some way
    I need a solution really quick because I love Islam as my religion and I do not wish to lose it :(
    By the way, I am also 14 years old so adult remedies won't apply to me

    • Salaams,

      Unless you're talking about getting married, any advice that has been to adults here would apply for you as well. We have several posts about this issue, so you should find some good tips if you search our archives.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Waalaikumassalaam
        Yes, I had spent the past two hours carefuly reading the posts that were sent above, I can assure you that I have already tried most of those remedies but it still won't work on me. It is very disturbing to talk to my parents about ths sort of problem so i a trying to seek a solution here, hence my name. I think that some habits of mine would help analyze the problem source
        1 I am jus the usual anime fan, I occasionally watch those so-called "revealing (or ecchi) " anime but I usually don't feel any sexual urges while watching them
        2 I did start watching porn at one time but have reduced thatover the last few months
        3 I try and pray as much as. I Can but the most preventing reason for that has been mentioned in my earlier post
        That almost sums it up, I hope you guys could help me out f that isn't much trouble
        Thank you

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