My husband can’t seem to keep a job
Jobless.
I got married 12 years ago. My husband lost his job after that. He is intelligent, but he can't keep his job. The company closes, he gets fired, and every time I want to do something it turns int oa big problem and the list continues. I am workign to support him. We both work hard.
I feel the day I got married to him there has been every single problem. How can I overcome my situation? Please help me.
-SKAM
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Wa Aleikum assalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu . These things are a test sister. In these times , many homes are facing this harshship. The test of strength and love in a marriage is weighed by how patient we are when are faced with harshship. Imagine Khadijah RA after the prophet (saw) recieved his revelations ... She didn't complain even when they gave everything for the sake of Allaah. She traveled when he did and remained loyal , staying patient until her return to Allaah. It's hard on you and be sure that it's harder on him. You should be motivating and encouraging him. Men tend to feel like less of a man when they can't provide for their family and take a lot more stress (sometimes without the wife realizing it ). If he doesn't feel like you need him , then he might just give up altogether. Many people are going through this very thing. Enconomies are failing, jobs at hard to find, people getting fired and laid off. If your husband isn't motivated then look deeper to see if he is depressed. Marriage isn't a fairytale where it's all roses, there is going to be thorns. Help him become confident in shaa Allaah. Just as Khadijah RA did with the beloved prophet (saw) and make dua. It is Allaah who gives and Allaah who takes away. So make dua that Allaah provides a job and stability for your husband.
Aoa . Allah tells us that we will be tested. He also makes it clear to us what is expected from us when we undergo these trials and what our reward will be if we are successful.
He says: “Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits (of your toil) but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who, when misfortune strikes them, say: ‘Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return. Those are the ones upon whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord and it is those who are rightly guided.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 155]
The Prophet (peace be upon him)said: "No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his sins by it." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “No Muslim is afflicted by harm, whether it is but the prick of a thorn or something worse, without Allah expiating his evil deeds on account of it and his sins falling away from him like leaves off a tree.'" [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]
Shaythan is wanting us to weaken and fail the tests from Allah so will we let shaythan win? Or will we make the best of these opportunities and get closer to Allah than we have EVER been?
For if we are patient then Allah is with us so NOTHING can hurt or effect us!
And the reward for patience is Paradise
If your husband is a good and hard working man support him encourage him. Just like sister Hafsa said . look at Khadija R.A as a role model. Thus world is a prison for believers and paradise for the non believers. Our paradise is the here after and this world is meant for hardship. But dont let ut get to you. Look for the little things that are good. Sometimes when im overwhelmed i think i have a roof over my head food in my fridge and Allah swt and im content. Emotions run wild sometimes and its easy to feel down and depressed however if we forget to look at the good things in life and focus only onthe bad we will waste our life being sad. Everthing is from Allah and if He gets you to it He will surely get yiu through it
Assalaamualaikam
Remember how Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) stood by The Prophet (peace be upon him) during the earliest years of their struggles in Mecca. In her example, we find guidance for what to do when times are hard - we hold fast to our faith, and support our husbands as best we can.
I'm not sure where you are living, but for many parts of the world, the last 10 years or so have been pretty tough, financially. There have been global financial disasters, many people losing everything they had worked for. But inshaAllah, we can learn from this the things that truly matter - the people we love, the faith that guides us every day, the love and mercy of Allah.
It might help to make a conscious decision to focus on the other aspects of your relationship. Spend some time reminding yourself of how amazing your husband is - pray together (he could lead the household in prayers), tell him you love him every day, spend quality time with him (have a picnic (even in the garden) or go for a walk in the countryside or go out for a coffee... anything that the two of you like).
The two of you could look at ways in which you could work together to improve your financial situation. Are there savings that could be made around the house? Would it be worthwhile for your husband to train for a different type of job? If he is unemployed, could he do a couple of part-time jobs, could he sign up for temporary work?
And remember to make lots of dua - ask Allah to help your family through this.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Assalam alaikum Sister,
Giving you an answer is a little difficult without knowing a little more about your husband. If your husband is trustworthy (meaning you can trust him with your money and that he will spend it wisely) and he is just having a difficult time holding down a job due to destiny and that is all, I suggest that you go through some rigorous effort to make a detailed list of your expenses and income.
This means that you put all your expenditures in a column (do this every time you have an expense) and get the exact amount that you are spending. After you do that, figure out what the essentials are and try to cut out anything that you can live without. From there, any money that is extra from the income, put it away in a separate account for yourself (so that you have some security). The money that you offer for the expenses, put that into a joint account from which the expenses will be paid--and he should be obviously be his money in there.
Start to do this, and do not say a word about it for about two months. Once you figure out what exactly you are spending money on, talk to your husband about the expenditures and income so that you actually have exact information and are not simply arguing about finances in general. Talk to him about a plan--ask him what his plan is.
Has your husband considered taking a labour job? Even if he is over-qualified, he may find this beneficial for a short time to get over this difficulty. What is the reason that your husband gets fired? Does he act unreasonably with his boss? If the reason has been his fault, it would probably be helpful for him to some sort of Business Communication course that would benefit him in how to get his point across at work.
I can know that this is difficult, but, don't give up. Remember:
Al-Quran [2:153]
May Allah ease your difficulties, Ameen.