Husband cheated with my sister and wants her to live with us
Rasulullah (saw) stated: “Brother in law is death.” He(saw) also stated: "Beware of getting into the houses and meeting women (in seclusion). A person from the Ansar inquired: (Oh) Rasulullah (saw), what about husband’s brother, (what can you inform me regarding him, what should our relationship be like towards each other) whereupon Rasulullah (saw) said: "The husband’s brother is like death". (Book 26, Number 5400, Imaam Muslim.) The word husband’s brother refers to all brother-in-law and sister-in-law situations alike.
I have been married to my husband for 10 years now and we have 2 children and four gas stations together.
Two years ago when my half sister was 14 she came to live with us because she had been getting into problems at home and school so I agreed to home school her. I also home school my 2 children. My sister is now 16 and about a month ago I woke up in the middle of the night and my husband was missing.
I went straight into my sisters room and there he was. Both were naked and she on top of him. Later she told me it has been going on for about a year and when I asked her if she felt bad about what she did to me or if she felt ashamed she said no. After about 3 weeks of fighting with him everyday I called her mom to come get her but I never told anyone what happened.
Its been 2 weeks and every day she calls him several times when she knows im not around. He talks to her for at least 2 hours every day. I know because I check his phone when hes sleeping. For about a week now hes been begging me to bring her back to live with us, promising that it will never happen again.
When it first happened I talked to her and she told me that she would move back with her mom but she was in love with my husband and she would never leave him or stop calling him. True to her word she still calls him every day.
He swears to Allah and his mother that he only wants her back because he feels like he ruined her life and and any time shes 18 he wants to find some one to marry her. He promised me if I let her back I will never have any problems with her or him again.
I feel as if she ruined my life and I dont want to forgive her for what she did to me. He is now threatening me that if I dont let her come back he will sell the stores , divorce me and take the kids to Pakistan. I agreed to let her come back but its killing me.
aawireless2
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Salaam Sister,
I'm shocked how a sister and a husband could do such an evil thing. May Allah give you patience and the strength to make the right decision.
I believe you should never have allowed your sister to move in with you in the first place and even if you allowed her in your case you should have set boundaries and told her to guard her modesty.
The damage is now done but what strikes me is that he wants her to come back and she hasn't learnt anything and both are as guilty as each other. Making her move back will make it more worse and you know why he wants her to move back....There is not need for her in your home and therefore you should be strong and tell him that she cant live with you. Your should tell your parents about this and not let this happen under your own nose. Things may get out of hand and what if she gets pregnant. If he threatens to leave you then you should tell him you will tell his parents. Something has too be done and the truth can't be buried just because of respect, honour and shame because this evil will escalate.
The decision is with you and pray to Allah that you make a right one. What has happened to you is horrible but its good that you found out, what if you never woke up that night and this would have kept going on.
Peace
salam sister
This is such drastic case of of betrayal and manipulation. Why are you putting up with it?? Do you still love your husband? I guess you will never be able to trust him again? Don't fear poverty or loss of wealth if he walked away today. That might be the best thing that could have happend to you.
Even if your sister never came back- can you still live with a man who has betrayed you in the most vicious way possible.
Pray hard sister, but reveal this dirty secret to your family. Your husband has done a wrong but still seems to have the upper hand! You don't have to live with this alone, it will ultimatly break you and can harm your children. There is filth taking place under your roof- remove it with patience and prayer- but practically speak to your elders and use thier help to resolve it.
Think about this question sister? How hard is it for you to walk away from this dirt?? Can you re-build your life away from this man- even temporarily to see if he comes to his senses??
I pray and hope it all works out for you.
i agree with blueangel astaghfirullah cant trust nobody this days ....... right now im crying wallah some ppl are so evil have they no heart? alhmdlh there is something like jahannam,i hate what your sister did she is so evil i hate your husband i hate what they did to you,you dont deserve it why are you still with this cruel man? you deserve much better you need to stand up for your honour make dua leave this evil cruel cold hearted man and try to fight for your kids you dont need to be rich to keep them Allah will suffice can you live with this your whole life? your husband and sister having sexual relations?.... and you should tell your family and his family about it so that they may understand why you dont want her to live with you and be open tell them your husband wants u to let her move back otherwise he will divorce you.... no use keeping quiet things will just get worse what if she gets pregnant? what if she is pregnant? she says she loves him she could easily get pregnant to keep him.... o GOD my head is paining this hurts me so much where are you sister? ive got a seperate house you could come live here by me find a job here let the kids come school here
You rock, may Allah bless you Omg...
So your right Haniyya this story is so sad and evil of the sister and husband how can this happen this is such an evil act astaghfirullah. May this sister in concern get through this terriable time so sad
Ssalam-alekum.,
Sister, from what you have written it looks like your husband and your half sister both have no guilt and shame for their sin and they want to continue this sin, no matter what the cover is. Although your sister is to blame but she was only fifteen when your husband started this SIN. I'll blame your husband the most than anything, and he kept this filthy act for such a long time without any shame.
Sister, I think it should be simple, don't worry about his threats, be strong. He is threatening you to take children to Pakistan, don't be intimidated by this. I think you should be PROACTIVE here. You should decide now, if you want to spend rest of your life in this misery or leave your cheating husband and start a new and better life for your self and your children.
As far as your children are concerned, I assume you want to keep them. I am also assuming that you are living in a western country, if you decide to leave your cheating husband, then I'll suggest hiring a lawyer (without your husband knowing) and then fighting for your children's custody. Once your lawyer tells the court that your husband wants to take children to Pakistan forever, the court will be with you. Get divorce from him and strip him from as much money as you can so that you and your children can have a better life.
Sister, know your rights, be strong, remembering you in my prayers.
regards,
Excellent advice concerned. Dead on.
concerned is right. you should take legal action against your husband and sister. and dont be scared with your husband threat. he's threatening you because he's thinking you cannot live without him, but the truth is he is the one who is scared because he knows that his action was totally wrong and if you charge case against him he will end up to jail and punishment is waiting for him. So he's thretening you now with divorce nd with your children and trying to manipulate you so he can continue his evil deeds.
I feel as if she ruined my life and I dont want to forgive her for what she did to me. He is now threatening me that if I dont let her come back he will sell the stores , divorce me and take the kids to Pakistan. I agreed to let her come back but its killing me.
Unfortunately it was a wrong move in the first place to allow your sister to live in your house. The Messenger of Allah compared bother in-laws and sister in-laws with death because like death, if you live them, avoiding fitnah is unavoidable. Shaytan is our sworn enemy, and co-existence of brother in laws and sister in laws is probably his most favorite field, as he succeeds in this area most of the time.
Your husband simply can't tell your again to bring back your sister. Because your sister is mahram for him. His sympathetic tone towards your sister seems hypocritical to me.
On the other hand, your husband cannot marry your sister either, because in our shariah, marrying two sisters at the same time is not allowed.
Your so right stranger but sometimes people trust there own they don’t think this would happen to them because it is family and we as humans feel more for our family than an outsider maybe now this is the time for us as people to take caution and open our eyes of rights and wrongs. I cannot believe some people just don’t have fear in them or a clear head I don’t get it this is so sad omg.
Salaam I agree with what you said, I also fell in love with my brother in law after I moved in with my sister, we are now getting married after my sister gave him divorce. I wish I never entered her home but it's too late now she will never accept us an both him an me feel very upset about what we have done to our families.
brother in laws an sister in laws should remain seperate.
Aneesa
Sister,
As far as I am aware, you are not allowed to marry your sister's ex husband while your sister is still alive. This is most probably because your actions will severe or damage ties of kinship. Perhaps I am wrong, I am not sure. But it would be best that you will check with a learned person/a qualified Imam - before you make any more mistakes.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
All excellent answers ma-sha-Allah and I have very little to add. That's an important point that Stranger made, that marriage to two sisters at the same time is not allowed.
Your husband committed an abominable and treacherous sin, and it sounds like has no remorse and only wishes to force you into submission to he can return to it. But we are Muslims, we only submit to Allah, not to evil.
Personally I think you should divorce him and be done with this sicko. Leave and take the kids with you. If a family court hears about this they will give you custody of the children for sure. And sue in divorce court for half the property, i.e. two of the gas stations.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalaamu alaikum dear sis aawireless.
Im sorry to hear what your husband and sister did - this is by no means a reflection on you - their behaviour was despicable- Astaghfirullah. And NONE of them are remorseful. I echo most of the advice- I advise you to seek divorce first. You and your children deserve so much better. InshaAllah one day you will find a nice, pious husband who will treat you very well.
May Allah swt help you during this difficult time
Ameen
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh dear sister aawireless2
🙁 I cant believe people can become so fearless of AllahS.W.T.! May AllahSwt protect our hearts from being sealed!
Plz take "concerned's" advice...
My dearest sister dont keep this to yourself and suffer...
i dont know what to say...im shocked....inshaAllah we all will pray for you...
may AllahSwt, the Most Just, help you and your children.... meanwhile plz dont feel like this is the end of your life or anything like that.... this life is only a test for you, me and everyone breathing now till we return to our graves... observe your five daily prayers and just pour out your heart to AllahSwt....
inshaAllah He will help you my dearest..... i wish i can hug you and was there to console you.....
plz read this book http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Dont%20Be%20Sad.pdf
may AllahSwt bring that moment in your life soon where you will think to yourself "Alhamdulillah! indeed AllahSwt guided me to something better and saved me from harm"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htJmiSzB-TE&feature=related
My dear sister,
My heart is racing as I read your post. I cannot even begin to imagine what is going through your mind at this point. You have been betrayed by both your husband and your sister and now, after everything has happened, your husband wants her back at your home?! Are you serious? By allowing her to return, you are only opening the door for more transgressions. He will continue to sleep with her no matter what he tells you. Why do you think he wants her back at your place so bad? Because...when your back is turned he will be with her no matter what he says to you. He is a liar and a conniving snake. It's comical how he is threatening you by telling you he will divorce you and take your kids to Pakistan...are you kidding?! He is an adulterer, the lowest of the low. My advice to you...get the best divorce lawyer that money can buy where you live and I mean now...do not delay. In the eyes of the law he is guilty of committing adultery plain and simple. Take him to the cleaners. Don't you dare sit around and let him do this to you or your children, you don't deserve this and neither do they. While your at it, you throw your sisters sorry butt out of your house and if he wants her so bad, tell him to get the hell out and go with her. It's not like she has no where to go, she has family. You lift your chin up woman and take control of whats going on in your home. It is YOUR home, don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself as things will not get better. Of course your sister coming back is killing you because the only reason she is there in your home is so that it is convenient for him to have sex with her. It's cheaper than having a whore on the side because as the old saying goes, "why pay for the cow while you can get the milk for free?" If you care about yourself here and those children of yours, you will find the best divorce attorney money can buy without delay. May Allah almighty be with you in your struggle, amin. No woman deserves this sort of treatment.
wow...... my heart sincerley goes out to you dear sister. I have not read the above advice, but I highly suggest you do what is Islamic protocol in this situation. This very deep, serious, sad situation. You call your wali, and he calls a representative from his side. You sit down, as calmly as possible discuss what is happening in your home. Yes your husband will be humiliated but he did this to himself. So will your sister, but she did this to herself. As for you my dear sister, know that everything that comes our way, as ucky and disgusting as it is (trust me......I know this pain of disgust), be strong and patient. Turn to Allah subhanhu wa tala even more. When I say strong, I mean maintain your duty, and keep close to Islam. Don't use this as an excuse to act foolish. When I say patient, I mean don't despair in the decree of Allah subhanhu wa tala because everything is done with Wisdom. They may be a thing that is good for you while you percieve it as not and vice versa. Try and ask yourself "what should I do to make Allah subhanhu wa tala pleased with me?"... this answer is often hard, but I find much relief in opening the Quran and reading...then thinking and the answer eventually becomes clear. Again I repeat, maintain your duty towards your husband, as he is still your husband. As for your sister......ahhhhhhh...try not to kill her!!..... Allah subahnhu wa tala forgives those that forgives others. Hard, I know! But if you think about it, what's our purpose in life? Where are we trying to go?.... Turn the wrongs people do to you into blessings by keeping your intention good and trying to please Allah subhanhu wa tala alone! .... Allah subhanhu wa tala is JUST, remember this! Don't think they get away with it just 'cause you're a strong beautiful woman. Not at all, internal termoil is something no one can see, and Allah subahnhu wa tala Knows while we do not. He will afflict those with punishment in this life and the hereafter.......don't worry, some people learn the hard way! So push off her arrogance and stupidity and focus on what you need to do to get to where you want.
Nothing is in vain, nothing is just " cause life sucks".....everything has purpose. You cannot say you believe and expect to not be tested, so rise to the occasion my dear sister in Islam. May Allah subhanhu wa tala give you strength, patience, wisdom, understanding, ease and comfort in this life and the hereafter....Ameen.
Umm Abdullah
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Subhanallah Sister, I was just so amazed reading through everything..and ended up in tears.
Astaugfiruallah, What in the world are muslims doing in these days? May Allah(swt) guide us in the straight path. Like what my other brothers and sisters have suggested, Please contact a Wali and get a divorce. Its just NOT worth going anymore pain sis. If he was a pious muslim, he wouldnt have committed just a outrageous sin. He doesent feel any guiltiness, and seems there wont be any in the future either. Inshallah, Allah(swt) will give a brother who will be so much better in many ways. I cannot imagine the pain you must have went through when you saw them together BUT be patient sis, put you trust in Allah(swt) and believe in the fact that everything has a PURPOSE behind it, and Allah(swt) knows best, he really does.
As for your sister, Astaughfirallah, what in the world is she thinking? I'm guessing she's 15 when it all started? She loves your husband? Does she not realize that he's MARRIED? And she just committed adultery with him?
AAHHH..If it was my sister, i will literally give her 100 lashes myself. I think my parents will kill her even before i could do anything. Do you plan on telling your parents? They must be furious to know. I do think you should tell them so they can give you some comfort but just keep it within the family, it can ruin your sister's future( or she might just be planning on taking your husband, in which case, everyone will end up knowing anyway). Since you live in a western society, news like these will spread less, but if you're in Pakistan for example, it will travel like a wind
Anyways, Sis, Be strong, Trust Allah(swt) and by default, you will definetly get the custody of your kids and May Allah(swt) bless you and ease any diffculties in your path.
And remember: I love you for the sake of Allah(swt).
I am shocked and disgusted after reading this post. There is no room for forgiveness for such a vile person and I'm saying this because he displays no sign of guilt, remorse, or shame for what he has done. Instead he is threatening for divorce and taking the children back home. He's such an emotionally weak person, using emotional black mail to control you.
You need to leave this person asap, he is not displaying to you in any way that he is willing to change for the good. Instead, he has made his nafs his God and he wants to keep indulging in this sin.
You will lead a misreable life if you decide to remain with him. I will also advise to you what brother Wael has advised: "Personally I think you should divorce him and be done with this sicko. Leave and take the kids with you. If a family court hears about this they will give you custody of the children for sure. And sue in divorce court for half the property, i.e. two of the gas stations."
You have the upper hand here, so do not worry dear sister, you can do this and inshAllah you will have your children and be financially fit to provide for yourself and them inshAllah.
May Allah swt make this time easier for you and give you the wisdom to make the right decision, ameen.
Stay strong sister.
This is such a horrid story, your sister came to your house as a 14yrs when girls are the most vulnerable, she said to you it started when she was 15 may be when she was 14 who know's , sorry but your husband is a child abuser and you are an enabler and not innocent in this, she was abuse under your nose, you say she has no friends she is damaged and as her older sister you had a hand in this your life is ruined to, insted of running away from this man and getting your children as far away from this sick man you talk of money and gas stations, why are you asking for help you ? you are not stuck or blind just walk out the door with your children. and get her parents to get her out too if you have any feeling left for her save her from this monster.
Thank you everyone for the advice. This awful thing happened on December 10 2010. She moved back in with us on January 23, 2011. I haven't told my family or anyone. I promised him I wouldn't remind him anymore either. Her parents have since been telling everyone in the family that they suspect the two of them are having an affair. They asked her several times and she denied it. They also asked me once and I also didn't tell them. Her mom is begging her to come back home but now she told her mom to stop calling her. Her mother called the police and told them she is being sexually molested and they told her without proof they can't do anything. She some times leaves love notes in her room about him without anyone's name because she knows I sometimes check her room and when I show him he says she's talking about someone else not him. About every other night he takes her with him to go check the stores and their usually gone about 2 to 3 hours alone. I always check the security cameras the next day and sometimes they go in and sometimes they don't but I can't tell him that. She doesn't work or go to school. She doesn't have any friends or talk to anyone in her family anymore. The only person she really talks to is my husband. Around the end of February we took a vacation and since we were close to her mom's house I convinced him to go over there. I told her mom and brother that she was causing me to many problems and I wanted to leave her over there he started fighting with me infront of everyone and even beat me in front of them and forced me tell her mom she was coming back with us. I told him I was going to leave him but thing is I have no friends and really don't have any close connection with anyone in my family except my younger brother who lives close by so I guess I'm stuck. Any advice?
Did you say stuck? Never. Here is the problem, at least from where I sit. By you keeping silent, you are allowing your husband...the pile of dirt he is, to continue what he is doing. When he is gone shopping those 2 to 3 hours, he is most likely at a hotel doing what he cannot do at home. Your sister has done the unthinkable by stooping so low as to be with your man. Has she no conscience or morals? What is he thinking?
You must tell everyone in your family what is going on. You are the victim here, not your husband or your sister. They are vile and have no remorse for their actions. Neither one of them care about you or how you feel. He beat you in front of your family because he is that desperate to carry on his vile and disgusting act under your very nose.
Have some respect for yourself, you are no ones rug to wipe their feet on. Do not delay another day, you need to tell everyone in your family. This has to stop! What are you going to do when your sister ends up pregnant God forbid! May Allah almighty give you the strength to do what you need...what you must do. Tell your family! Do not wait another day!
Sister,
I am so glad to hear from you. I am terribly sorry to hear that your "sister" has shifted at your place and is now causing you further miseary and distress.
You and only you can put a stop to all this. Clearly, I am not at all sympathetic towards your husband or sister because they both are selfish and imhumane people who have become puppets to their desires (nafs). Does your husband not know the punished for comitting adulterly?
It is stated in the holy Qur'an: "And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way." (Sura Al-Israa # 17 ayah # 32).
He is such a shameless person who has no dignity. He he has NO RIGHT to hit you and that to infront of others. He is in the wrong and yet he is establishing his authority? As Najah stated, the 2 to 3 hours he is gone with your sister to do "shopping", he is not shopping but enjoying himself with her. I see no hope for this lost soul, clearly Allah swt is not blessing him with hadayat and I dont think he's going to realize any time soon either.
If you decided to remain with this person, then I can gurantee you that you will not live a very content life. You need to put a stop to your emotions and stand up and respect yourself. You deserve better and this filthy person can enjoy all he wants right now, but when Allah swt will pull his rope, he will then realize, and by then it may be too late...
I advise you leave this person as I see no hope for change. I wouldn't advice divorce, except for in severe cases and I see this being one of those cases. You just cant torture yourself mentally and physically because your husband has a lack of morals and values. You need to show him what self-respect is all about. You are not a door mat that anyone can walk over you and wipe their filth off, you are a beautiful muslimah, remember you must honour yourself and by staying with this person you are only portraying that you deserve someone like him, which you DONT.
Confused,
You mentioned that this man beated you up and he is sleeping with your own SISTER. What GOOD do you see in this man. Do you see a happy future together with lots of kids or do you see your husband running in and out of your sisters room every two hours?
They are not doing this secretively, They doing it openly. He is taking her shopping alone instead of going with you. Spending 2-3 hours alone with her. He is standing up for her and fighting and beating you up just so that he can be with her. And what is she getting in return? Thrill, excitement at the idea of being with your husband, spending time alone with him.
Sister, please open your eyes to what is going on around you. Do not feel that you have no where to go and you will just plainly accept this. I'm sure you have family like your younger brother that lives around the corner. Why not go to him? Why not your mum/dad or a close relative.
Do not feel threatened by your husband because that's what he wants you to feel, so that you wont tell anyone and he can do as he pleases.
As for your sister, she truly disgusts me. You shouldn't be concerned if she doesn't have any friends. She should be even talking to your husband in the first place. Don't ever feel sorry for her. She should be exposed to her family. Don't feel shame for what has happened. This is not your fault and you are not to blame. But if you continue keeping silent this would not stop.
Don't accept this any longer. What this two disgusting souls have done to you is just down right pathetic. Walk out of there with your head held high in the air. At least you have your dignity intact!
Rumaysa
As salamu alaykum, concerned,
All the advices you have received are excellent, thank you for replying.
Please, forgive me for being harsh but your words tells me that in someway you still in shock and you need to react, you are living an unhealthy and unfair situation. Look for professional help if you don´t feel you can handle emotionally by yourself, there is nothing wrong with it.
Don´t let him put a hand on you anymore, nobody deserves to be humilliated the way you are being .
f you don´t want to be with him, have an appointment with a lawyer, ask for all your rights and the best way to move in this situation, read again all the replies, you need to get out of there with your children, insha´Allah.
You need to move from where you are, you are just being an espectator of your own life and you have to stand up, for you and for your children, if you don´t have anyone´s support there, you have a lot of people here caring for you, then you are not alone, insha´Allah
See what you want, you are in your shoes, any decision you take will have consequences, and you are the only one that can know which is the way to take, and see who you really are, to go through a test like this with a man like that you must be a strong woman.
Try to see where you are and where you want to be from a realistic point of view , when you have this clear, you will be able to move in the direction you choose. You have all my respect whatever decision you take, because you are the only one that knows how much emotional charge you can handle, and of course, your children. Please ask Allah(swt) for guidance and strength to move forward.
Don´t tell him your movements or what you want to do, act normally, he may have asked already a lawyer to see what happens if you leave, move slowly and silently.
All my Unconditional Love, Respect and Support,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
salaams aawireless2
You must not be with him your sister disgusts me she don’t deserve to be happy except cursed I am sorry for being horrible but people like her is not your real family. You should not put up with this anymore sister this is very difficult playing with people's emotions rubbing it in and then expect to live in the same house how sick is that and unfair to you. You deserve more and happiness open your eyes both don’t care and if your husband was decent he wouldn’t have done what he’s done and top of it all as a wife no husband has a right to degrade his or her partner in front of other people that’s not love where’s the respect, love and trust in that. I really hope you find the strength to leave him I really hate people like this they make me so angry tawbah tawbah don’t deserve to be happy except you do. I really feel your pain don’t settle for second best you can get through this. Marriage is not joke it is so shame both are taking advantage of you. I pray for you and wish you find a way to get out of this horrible situation w/salaams
Salam, I think you should leave him and Allah will reward you with a better man. But love is strong and if you think you cant leave him for a reason you should let him marry your sister and a second wife. I know it sound hard but its the best and he should right two GasStations under your name only. If he dont treat you right you leave him. I you know your family wont allowed you and ur husband and her only should know that they are married and Allah.
Inshallah best work for you ( thats if you cant let go)
It is not permissible for a man to be married to two sisters at the same time.
Salam.
How come they both are not his blood
Note the part in bold:
Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your [milk] mothers who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your wives' mothers, and your step-daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives unto whom you have gone in. But if you have not gone in unto them, there is no sin upon you. And [also prohibited are] the wives of your sons who are from your [own] loins, and that you take [in marriage] two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. (Quran 4:23)
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
this s critical in both side ,if he tried this in the arab country in which they pass their judgment according to the
Koran they wud both be killed. but the way the issue is now its now affecting u real....i think u should allow your sis to marry earlier so your husband wud not b thinking of taking her back in d family neither getting her a husband...
I'm glad you caught them, my devil sister never let me catch her at all she gas me before she come to my house. Like last night I was knock out and they both never confess to it. and still doing it every day. It drive me nut.
I would advise you that you seek professional help like from a counsellor, or in a Islamic channel (813) where there is a programme called marriage maintenance, that helps people with their marital problems they give you solution and advise on how to deal with it, there is a psychologist there and also a Alim that will advise from the quranic and a psychological l perspective on what to do, you all you have to do is go to their website and email your situation that you are in in detail.
Website: http://www.islamchannel.co.uk
Email: , where they tell you how to send the email or get contact with them.
Tel: + (44)207 374 4511
There is also another programme called islamiQA: there is an Alim there, where can also seek advice and solutions.
SisterAllah knows how to deal with us because he who created us, he knows what is best for us so by seeking advice from an Alim is the best thing to do, the Alim will give you the best solution which also will be an right solution for your situation that you are in, insallah soon everything will be fine don’t worry, just pray to Allah for strength and to guide you.
Also you can go to your nearby mosques to seek advice from an Alima too if you wise, if you want to, if you think you can’t contact those professional I stated because your husband might found. I am sure they will help you because I know someone who was in a simpler situation like you, who had no one in this country was thrown out of her home by her husband’s first family and she went to the mosque for help and they helped her so much to the point that they even found her another husband and got her married to him.
Sister you are not stuck trust me sister I know people that were in worst situation then you yet they still managed to come out of their bad marriage build their life up and now living a beautiful with their kids, they did not have anyone in this country , they did not know how to read or write or speak English ,now they have a job, knows how to drive, can speak English and has a house , if they can come out their bad marriage and build their life for them and their kids then so can you, don’t give up , fight for it . Seek Allah’s help.
in the meantime I think you confront you husband, tell him how you feel and also you need to find what he wants, what his intention are, because from the situation it clearly shows that he wants her and will do anything for her , he does not want you but stuck with you for the sack of the kids, sister you need to seek help quick because your situation willl get worse because they are still sleeping together but this time outside of the house because they know you are keeping an close eye on them.
He knows he can use you because you are showing him that you are too dependent on him, you need to get out more often and makes friends and stand up for your rights , show him that you don’t need him, don’t be too afraid of him or of his threat these threat that he made which he knows deep inside that he can’t take your kids to Pakistan against their will it is against their law if you notify the pol ice can come an arrest, also would not sell the business , would not divorce you trust me it is just plain threat, to make her come and stay with you guys so he can fullfill his disgusting desires.
By sleeping with a underage girl is against the law tell him that also for prove you are a witness you so the together also a DNA test can be taken which will determine that she is being raped or molested because there will be finger prints on her body also will show that she is not a ‘Virgin’ . A known a situation where a father tries to rape his own daughter and she went to school and told her teacher and teacher called the police, the police later on did DNA on her and found that she was being raped and he went to prison. Tell him that make him sacred , also tell him that you his doing to you will happen to him and her one day as we all know that ‘what goes round will always come around ‘ that is a well-known fact. Make him realise and make feel guilty, do not make promise that you will not remind him of what he done or other stuff , do not fall for his 'TRAP' .
Before it’s too late because when he told you that when she is 18 he want to find her a groom , but he know she is not a virgin anymore to be honest who will except her I think when she is 18 he will marry her , because he knows deep down , he also realised that she is not a virgin and if anyone marries her then later on will leave her that why he felt guilty that’s why he said he ruined her life that what he meant I think he will leave you when she is 18 and marry her . Sorry to tell you such a harsh fact but that is the reality you need to face up to that.
To solve your problems you need to communicate with your husbands because once an Alim said the best way to solve marital problems between husband and wife is communicating, by telling each other what they want from this marriage and spend alot of time with him , make your self attractive for him dress up , put make up beacuse once our prophet said that his wife Aisha wear the thing colour , perfumes , clothes that he likes , keep her self atractive for him , that what he like about her. maybe these were the thing nade him fall for her, listen to him, that might make him fall in love all over again , beacuse i know a stiuation where that men has two wives he prefer his first wife beacuse she spend more of her time with him. ask him what he wants from you and give it to him might bring him back , i read it some where in a islamic site where it was stated wife repsonsibility toward her husband it stated those thing that i mentioned. make sure you keep her away from him as much as you can that will keep his mind of her. sister be close him listen to him and understand him be his best friend also an perfect wife that every men wants by doing that will not want to cheat on you beacuse he will start to care for you.
You decide what to do whether to stay with him or leave him either way sister you will overcome this problem just ask Allah’s help he knows what is best for us. Don’t worry sister they will pay for what they done to you.
Thank you it seem like you know what you are talking about, but no matter what I try I can not stop her from coming to my house. She comes before she goes to work and after work, she owned her own business and I have no idea when she leave her work place she her own boss.
This has been going on for two decade and I just found out in 2006 but I was suspected since 1998 but he still denied.
I has no support from my family at all they want to keep reputation in the family and they told me that I was crazy.
It seem like my devil sister control him and me at the same time it drive me nut that every time she freeze my internet or TV now a day they has all kind of technology equipment and she can track me down and break of the phone when I talk to my friend about her.
Get to the point that I told my husband I don't care what you do out side my house but don't bring her to my house, that did not help because she has the key to my house she can come when she wanted.
She is very obsess with my husband just like the Astronaut lady, drove thousand of mile to hurt the other lady
dear sister
my heart falls out for u am so sorry to hear this.how can a sister be so cruel like this.i cant believe that u had the courage of seeing your own sister on top of your husband and reacted patiently may Allah reward u for that.i dont think this man is worthy of living with dont think twis just follow the sister's advise and inshallah Allah will bless u with a better husband.