Should I tell my husband´s friend, she is cheating?
Assalam, I need some advice with regards to a cheating wife. I have 2 friends at work and one of them is a woman and she is cheating on her husband with my other friend. They both told me so themselves but she is a muslim and she says she is very happily married but want to know other man and she has no respect for religion or her husband as she is cheating on him. she is also mother.
I don´t know what to do if I should tell her husband then I would betray a friend but am afraid if am being wrong in the eyes of Allah that I see such a big sin being committed and being quiet about it.
please advise
Allyah
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Salaamu alaikum. . . . Of course you are doing wrong if u dont try to stop it. . . And Allah will ask u on d day of resurrection.... B4 saying my opinion, i will like 2 ask a question, do u have any other way of getting informed about d relationship btw them if at all they stop informing u about it (b/c there is possibility of that if they dont have d intention of stoping what they are doing). . . . If yes, i think u should kindly advice them first,(begining with d woman, then d guy) to stop it. if there is no sign of stoping, then u should inform d husband by showing him proofs or by giving him hint on how 2 verify that for him self. . . . Dont make it a secrete b/c Allah will ask u on judgement day. . . . . It is very very foolish of her to be cheating her husband after claiming that they are leaving happilly and also a mother. . . She does't even have sense of sham and respect 4 her self. . . . And if u know dat they will not be getting u informed about there relationship (after giving them d advice), then i think u should inform d husband directly without wasting time. . . . . Both of them a perverts
Mohd,
It is a sin to reveal someone's sin to another person, especially of one spouse to the other as it could cause them to break up.
I also think its really immature of you to call the two who are having an affair 'perverts'.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
SisterZ,
The definition of a pervert is a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable.
These two are committing adultery and clearly that is unacceptable and abnormal so how in the world can you say that it is immature to call them that??
This is Haraam and wrong.
Assalamu alaykum,
I advise you to warn the sister by the Qur'an and see if she returns to normal.
45. We are best aware of what they say, and thou (O Muhammad) art in no wise a compeller over them. But warn by the Qur’an him who feareth My threat. - Surah Qaaf.
Your part is to warn her of Allah's wrath upon those who commit lewdness and adultery and if Allah wills He will bring out the Truth in open, if she continues betraying her husband:
16. O my dear son! Lo! though it be but the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens, or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Allah is Subtile, Aware. - Surah Luqmaan.
And even after that if she does not improve, you may tell her in plain terms that being a responsible Muslim, you do not find things going on in front of your eyes as pleasing to Allah or to her husband and kids and this is wrong and this is betrayal on her part and it is open lewdness and when Allah would bring out the Truth, her she would create problems for herself and her family. Warn her. Remind her.
9. Therefore remind (men), for of use is the reminder.
10. He will heed who feareth,
11. But the most hapless will flout it,
12. He who will be flung to the great fire
13. Wherein he will neither die nor live. - Surah Al A'laa.
If she persists in the same act, you may ask her husband to come over ( if you cannot /do not want to do so directly than by an anonymus caller - naming himself - well wisher) and let him witness it with his own eyes, if there is something really wrong going on.
In this way, you would not be blamed, because her husband can say he came on his own to the office (or the place where this goes on).
A few verses which you may recite to her:
13. On the day when the hypocritical men and the hypocritical women will say unto those who believe: Look on us that we may borrow from your light! it will be said: Go back and seek for light! Then there will separate them a wall wherein is a gate, the inner side whereof containeth mercy, while the outer side thereof is toward the doom.
14. They will cry unto them (saying): Were we not with you? They will say: Yea, verily; but ye tempted one another, and hesitated, and doubted, and vain desires beguiled you till the ordinance of Allah came to pass; and the deceiver deceived you concerning Allah;
15. So this day no ransom can be taken from you nor from those who disbelieved. Your home is the Fire; that is your patron, and a hapless journey's end.
16. Is not the time ripe for the hearts of those who believe to submit to Allah's reminder and to the truth which is revealed, that they become not as those who received the Scripture of old but the term was prolonged for them and so their hearts were hardened, and many of them are evil livers.
17. Know that Allah quickeneth the earth after its death. We have made clear Our revelations for you, that haply ye may understand. - Surah 57, Hadiid.
We seek refuge in Allah from the horrors of the Day of Qiyamah.
Hope the advice helps.
Salaam,
Your brother,
Munib.
Allyah, Walaykumsalaam,
What a difficult and uncomfortable situation to be in.
I can feel that you really want to help this brother, but I do not think that you should reveal anything to him. As it maybe that, the 'wife' comes to her senses, does tawbah and returns to her husband.
I think you should instead advise and warn his wife and your male friend. Ensure though that you counsel and warn them in private. Remind them of the severe punishment of Allah. After this, if neither of them take heed, I would suggest you distance yourself from them both. Continuing your friendship with them is a silent acceptance of their wrongs. At the same time, ask Allah to lift the veil from their eyes and hearts as they are damaging their own souls severely.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I TOTALLY agree with SisterZ. Do NOT talk to the husband. It is not your place to talk to him, as he is not your mahrem, and you will be accused of interfering and destroying the family.
You should advise your friend that her behavior is haram and must stop. I also wonder why you have a male "friend" in this situation? What is your relationship to him and why are you in the middle of this?
Again, I agree with SisterZ. Advise them, then if they don't stop then distance yourself from both of them. This is not a "friendship" that you want to be involved in.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Number 79
...."When you see an evil act you have to stop it with your hand. If you can't, then at least speak out against it with your tongue. If you can't, then at least you have to hate it with all your heart. And this is the weakest of faith."
Now think about your answers Wael and SisterZ
I am quite amazed by the answers .....
I can feel that you really want to help this brother, but I do not think that you should reveal anything to him. As it maybe that, the 'wife' comes to her senses, does tawbah and returns to her husband.
I TOTALLY agree with SisterZ. Do NOT talk to the husband. It is not your place to talk to him, as he is not your mahrem, and you will be accused of interfering and destroying the family.
I don't want to start my arguments over here because it will eventually get blocked . Try to read and understand the above hadith that I quoted.
I am not a religious man, but I do have 100% faith in a God..and while I am not the best of men, I am always improving and find myself a better man then many in many areas..
I am not understanding your answers, so let me ask my question a little more clearer..
(Question deleted by the Editor - Please login and post your question as a separate post, and it shall be answersed soon insha Allah)