Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband had an affair after 10 years of marriage, should I forgive him?

I've been married for 10 years and my husband cheated on me. I thought I had the perfect marriage and I have a beautiful 5 year old, I struggle to forgive him and everyday is like a test.

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I've lost my loving family who care about me, as they want me to leave him. I was pregnant and lost my baby recently, please help me to find an answer. This women ruined my life, she posted pics of my husband and herself on internet sites and facebook and youtube and mentioned my name about how poor I am and foolish not to see how my husband has betrayed me.  She published his affair when he ended this with her.

I'm so falling into a world I never knew, so dark and hurtful. I used to be a strong women. My family I love so deeply wont speak to me, my husband who I loved, I look at now and try to forgive him for my daughters sake and 10 years of marriage, but it hurts so much as he is a good man and I never suspected a thing for a whole year until she emailed my whole family, colleagues and friends.

I dont know what to do, please can someone guide me. I loved my husband but I cannot seem to forgive him. Everytime I look at him I see them together and what he has done for 1 year behind my back, all the respect and love I gave him and his family, I feel I've been betrayed to an extent that I cant go forward and spend the rest of my life with him. I am lost.

-lubnasana


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27 Responses »

  1. Salaam alaikum sister lubnasana.

    I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you are going through dear sister. We cannot tell you whether you should or shouldnt forgive him.

    The real questions you have to ask yourself is, is he remorseful for what he did? Has he repented? Has he realised the extent of his sin? Has he amended his ways? Was he a good husband aside from the affair beforehand? And if the answer to these questions is yes, can you forgive him?

    Personally if he has repented and realised the error of his ways, forgiving him and trying to amend your marriage is probably the best way forward. As Allah swt is most Merciful so we should also try to be Merciful. However: if you forgive him, you will need to let the past go, and Not bring it up in later arguments.

    The question IF he is remorseful and wants to fix the marriage, CAN you forgive him? It may take you some time to get this answer. Do Istakhaarah dua sister, and have a think about what you want and what you can do. (Info on istakhaarah dua is on the links above (istakhaarah answers and questions).

    You will need to find out what he wants. Does he want to fix the marriage. Are you both willing to move past this together? If you decide to try to fix it, maybe you could try marriage counselling preferably with a muslim counsellor? It will be difficult to mend the trust, but if you both are committed to fixing it, it can be done InshaAllah.

    If you really cannot forgive him or if he is not willing to mend the marriage and calmy sort out the problem, you are within your rights to divorce but as you have a 5 year old it may impact her. You can divorce though in this situation if you wish.

    As for this lady, the best thing you can do is ignore her. Does she have no shame publicising her affair online for all to see!? SubhanAllah. Very spiteful! Know that she is wronging her own soul more than she is hurting you.

    So please consider your options. Turn to Allah swt during this difficult time. Know that He sees how you've been wronged and your pain. Handle this trial with patience - May it be your ticket to Jannat InshaAllah dear sister. Take some time out, think - spend time with your daughter. Make istakhaarah and ask Allah swt to guide you towards what is best for you.

    Please look after yourself dear sister.
    May Allah swt guide you towards what is best for you and give you happiness in this life and the next.
    Ameen
    Peace,
    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor
    x

  2. Asa sister, I am sorry for the things that happen to you. The same thing happened to me and after trying for three years, I just divorced my husband and I never felt happy and relieved of my decision. For the last 3 years since he came back, I was miserable. I completely lost myself over checking his phone, email and other stuff. But finally I rallied i would never trust him and also found out that he was still with the other woman. Any ways I know its very hard to trust a person who has betrayed you but you know yourself of what you are capable of. For me even though we have 3 kids, I could no longer see myself living my life with a lier so that's when i decided to divorce him. I pray so you can make the right decision. Oh about the other woman, don't give her a minute of your life. People like her will be punished in this world and the hearafter. Leave it to Allah

  3. Salam sister,
    I am so sorry to read about your situation and also very sorry to read about the loss of your baby. May Allah give you strength and wisdom to take the right decision, ameen. I know you are going through a lot of pain and although you want to forgive your husband, you are finding it extremely hard to. Sister, this life is nothing but a test for us. Allah will test us through different ways: sometimes through things we fear, through food, through marriage, through children, through money, etc. Your test seems to be like your marriage. I can understand that you feel betrayed and cannot take a proper decision right now. Personally, I would suggest that you forgive your husband, but on the basis that:
    1.) He has realized his mistake and feels guilty
    2;) He has asked you and Allah swt for SINCERE forgiveness (which means he has realized how much he has hurt you and is willing to make it up to you through his love, care, etc).
    3.) He has cut off all contact with this woman
    AND
    4.) Has promised you he will never return to this path again (also bearing in mind that he has to re-gain your trust).

    If you see that he sincerely regrets for what he has done and is willing to become a better husband, then sister I believe you should forgive him. Although, you must bear in mind that forgiveness means that you do not mention this issue again, you do not taunt him of it, you erase this incident from your lives.It will not happen over night, it may take a long time but if you think you CANNOT do this, then do not walk ahead as this will just cause you miseary and your husband also. Forgiveness in this case is extremely difficult but sister if he has realized he has done something wrong and has never gone back to it again, then if you can find it on yourself, try to forgive him. You never know, maybe this very act of forgiveness may create a place for you in jannat and Allah swt will have mercy on you and forgive your sins in the hereafter, inshAllah. I know this is a difficult time for you and no one is forcing you to forgive him, only if you can find it in your heart to forgive, then try to do so sister, but make sure that he has firm intentions to never turn to that path again!

    In regards to this lady and her posting comments about her affair and how "poor and foolish" she thinks you are, I think she should re-think again. She seems like the "poor and foolish" one to me here as she is the mistress in this situation who just got used and thrown away. Your husband left her and she couldnt accept that fact so she decided to take revenge? Is she not realizing that when she tries to throw mud at others that her own hands will get dirty also? Clearly, she can't see how she's degrading herself by telling the world indirectly that I was his mistress and his wife is so foolish. Actually, she's the foolish one because she just got used and thrown away like tissue paper. So sister do not let her words harm you, she's just making herself look like the fool in everyones eyes. People know better and they know how shallow she must be for ruining someone else's marriage and not taking in regard her own respect!

    Stay strong and try to forgive your husband if he has realized his sin and if it is in you to forgive. You will be immensly rewarded, inshAllah :)

  4. That woman did not ruin ur life, but she sure is trying to. Don't let her. She is sooooo insignificant in the bigger picture. It could've been her or anyone else, she is not special ,believe me-or she wouldnt have been with a married man. She is trying to hurt u the same way she is hurting right now. The common denominator here is the husband. He messed up big time and if he isn't going to make it up to you for the rest of his life, then my advice is to dump him. Because it will take a lifetime to get over this sort of tragedy.

  5. Sister

    The reason you are unhappy is mainly because of your husband. If he was faithful to you then none of this would of happened. This woman is hurting and she probably feels the only way she could take revenge is if she hurts you and destroys your marriage. She probably wants you to leave your husband just as how he left her.

    You need to look at the reason why your husband left her? Did he realize he was doing a mistake or was he just tired and fed up of her? Look no human is perfect and what he did was totally wrong but is he repenting for his sin? Do you think he would commit the same sin again?

    Sister if you love your husband, then don't let this women win! Tell her that by her publishing these things won't make a difference in you'lls life. That you'll share a special bond that cannot be easily broken. She was the foolish one to have illicit relationship with a married man. You and your husband should work together in this aspect. You'll should both tell her to stop publishing pics. If these pics offend you so much then try not going on these sites for some time.

    As for your family, they should be there for you and support you through your decision. They probably don't want to see you getting hurt.

    Time will heal wounds. Hopefully your husband has learnt his lesson.

    Rumaysa

  6. My dear,

    Your husband was in the wrong the shame, he brought this to him self. My dear he knew what he was doing with this other woman. He also hurt this other woman so she hurt him back.There is a difference between forgiving and trusting. You should never stay in a marriage just for the child's sake. If you stay with him, you must prepare your self to trust him again. You can do this by giving a chance to prove him self. So he can gain your trust again. You can do this in a trial basis, if you see that you can not give him trust then end the marriage. Allah will understand you leaving your husband if you can not trust him. You can forgiven whether you walk away from the marriage or stay. Is it you can not trust him because he betrayed your trust? This is the (real issue) can you trust him. He could have brought you a sickness that you can not cure. He shamed you and your family, you are under no obligation to stay with him. In God eyes you are correct to leave him or stay. You may not know but you forgave him, the moment you let him come home. The shame he caused you is hurting you. Your family have a right to ask you to leave him because, he shamed them as well and they are angry. If you stay with him must also prepare yourself, for a rift to be between you and your family. This husband will come with a very high price, only you must decide whether you can pay it or not.
    Lots of Love

  7. Here is the hard truth….He has cheated on you, and you have just discovered your husband has had a long term relationship with someone else. You have children, you are devastated. Ladies, think long and hard before you decide to give this man another chance. You will never know the real truth about this man, only what he has told you, and you have convinced yourself to believe the fabricated story you have created in your head about their relationship. This is not real. The truth is in most long-term affairs, very deep feelings develop for the two people involved. …and sometimes love. If he has convinced you he wants to work it out, that is only because of financial ties, children, and family pressure-not because he loves you. He will always think of the other woman and hope they will have a chance to be together again in the future. You and him had a fair chance to be together, you were able to date freely, go on vacations, spend time togther openly, unlike the other woman he fell in love with, and the bottom line is that he strayed from you for a reason he will only know. Does he love you? Did he ever love you? He will never regret what he did, although he will tell you that he does. The truth of the matter is, the days he spent with this other woman were probably the best days of his life-remember he risked everything to be with her. He will never respect you the same way, because he fooled you, once again, into staying married. It will only be a matter of time until he will do it again.

    I was able to get a very interesting perspective on a long term affair, not many people get a chance to see, as the other woman in this case is a dear friend of mine for over 20 years, and the married couple are also “friends” of mine. This man was after her for a long time – and in my opinion, he finally broke her. She was in therapy for months, never once contacted the man or his wife after the wife caught the affair, and I was there “picking up the pieces”. I saw his e-mails, the texts, I heard all about the promises (wedding, house etc.) this man made to my friend…SCARY! And even worse, 3 months after the affair was discovered by his wife, I saw this man flirting up a storm with other mutual friends, married women of course…including me. Also, he told his lover that every moment he spent with her was real, he will never let her go, he thinks about her everyday and said he will find her again, and that he was only staying with his wife because she has threatened him with his children, finances,family pressure, etc. At the same time, he’s telling (begging) his wife, it meant nothing and he loves her and wants the family to remain together. How can this man do that… say those things??? That’s love??? Please don’t believe that these men “didn’t know what they were doing”, they sure do, and they do it well! They do not live out a “fantasy world” with these other women, they have serious relationships with them. They have fights, they confide in one another on a deep level, and they are connected. As far as I can see, this man has no respect or love for any of these women he destroyed. He just doesn’t deserve his wife. That is why, if his wife only knew the truth about him…I doubt she would give him another chance. These wives need to have a solid support system in order to gather strength and be strong enough to leave these cheaters. They need to love themselves enough to make the change. Let’s face it, if a woman doesn’t love and respect herself enough to do it for herself, no one else will.

    My friend who had the affair is married with children as well, and has been in an abusive marriage for over 10 years, and for the same reason why women stay with their cheating husbands, she chose to stay married to her husband. I guess the lesson here is to all women-just LEAVE if you are being abused!!! Infidelity, is too a form of ABUSE, and society I think, does not acknowledge this enough!! If I said that my husband beat me black and blue, and tortured me for days, and put me through the worst amount of pain one could imagine, most people would advise me to leave immediately, as if he beated me once, he will do it again. And of course for my husband to seek professional help, for he has obvious deep-seeded issues he needs to resolve. Why is it that if a man has had a full blown out affair, the “normal” call to action, in this case would be for the married “couple” to go to marriage counselling together and try to work it out? Am I missing something here? Did the wife have a role in his behaviour? What does she need to sort out with him? The only sorting out she needs in my opinion, is that with her own therapist of her own emotional scars she needs to deal with, and live with for the rest of her life caused by this man’s abuse, and some financial & legal advice wouldn’t hurt. Why does the wife attend counselling with her abusive husband? Why does society say to try and work it out? Why would she stay with a cheater? To see if it happens again? I do not understand why society does not acknowledge that ifidelity is too a brutal form of abuse. Should we not be empowering these women to love themselves enough to leave an abusive situation?

    I would love to have my moment with this man's wife and tell her everything I know, but I know nothing will come out of it, she has chosen to believe in him and has put her blinders on. He obviously has learned absolutely NOTHING, and I am sure he will do it again, it will be just a matter of time.I’m hoping that maybe my perspective will somehow help these women see truth in these men they married, and that they deserve better.You need to ask yourself, do I want to spend the rest of my life with a man that stayed married to me for all the wrong reasons? Give yourself time before you decide you want to give this man another chance. If you at least allow yourself some time to make the right decision, he and everyone else will at least respect you…you will develop some self-respect, and self-worth. Does he really deserve a second chance? If only you were able to see him in action with this other woman, and more importantly, be able to witness the emotional involvement he had with someone else, I can guarantee you that any woman, sane in mind, would NEVER give him a second chance.

    • I find your reply very interesting, as if you are talking to me. I experienced a similar situation. After over two months since I found out that my husband cheated on me, I felt that I should leave him, because even how many times he would tell me that the relationship he had with the other woman is just a 'time pass" and he doesn't love her and he love me and he won't leave me. I find it hard to believe, because his actions says otherwise. I talked to the other woman 3 times asking her to never talk to my husband again and leave my husband alone or vanish from my husband's life. But still she's doing it anyway. And every time my husband finds out about it that I talked to her (of course she will disclosed everything to my husband) he gets angry with me and he won't talk to me for days. And until now even if I didn't find anything or proof that they are still talking I felt that still something is going on between them. It's quite depressing because I have sacrificed everything for his sake and this is what I get. I could find to forgive him but I guess I couldn't live with him anymore. Everyday all I could think is he being with the other woman on how he would treat her and being so nice to her. Just makes me so depressed.

  8. hi,

    listen, dont blam without you know the cause. i think you you didnt take care of ur husband
    like you did in first, so he went to look for woman takes care of him. all we do wrongs, forgive
    him once then see....just test, this is the real life, not only roses,

    single but i know

  9. hi Baytta, sure your heart is fully to say, my your husband cheated in you too, dont
    be like that.............agressive
    sorry:)

  10. salam sister, i just found out my husband, whom i trusted for 10yrs, has a woman he says he loves, i do believe it too. the problem is that we got married, love marriage, but he claims he really did. I am not such an affectionate person, but did all the duties of a wife, but he wanted more affection than i realized. He said for five yrs he tried but he lost his self esteem and confidence as a man, thought he was not normal. Said he went out one day , with friends, and a girl smiled at him and he went up to her, talked and exchanged numbers. He says she completes him. For five months we have been living like a normal happy enough couple and i did not have a clue and i am not a naive person. I have been praying day in and day out. It has only been a week since he told me. She is to be married in aug and he said well he cant break her heart and the guy she is to marry is a good guy so he wants her to atleast have a good life and so is going to end it. has not yet but will when he and she are ready.I have been praying and praying, that is all i can do. I can tell his brother who will come down in a heartbeat and put him in his place but what will taht do, what he feels in his heart will not change. I dont know what to do, i have the girls number i have all the proof, i am trying to just be patient and put all my trust in Allah swat and i believe he will make things better whatever the end may be. I feel numb just walking around trying to just get through the day, for the kids, for my parents, for this not to turn into a soap opera for ppl to enjoy. Trust, i dont know , if Allah wills inshallah it will happen, i believe what is to happen in the course of this situation, Allah will guide me and help me inshallah. Please pray for me as i pray for anyone who is going through this.
    Salam

    • aysha, I suggest that you log in and write your question as a separate post, so we can address your problem in detail Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  11. Salam Alaikum,

    This happened to me in my first marriage. From experience, I know that you do not get over the hurt of an affair. Move on, there is a man out there that deserves you. I have been remarried for 16 years and even though my marriage is far from perfect, the one thing I know that I can depend on is that my husband would never cheat on me. No one should have to spend their life wondering if it is happening again, etc. I pray for you, dear sister, to have the strength to move forward with your and your children's life!

    Salam

  12. Assalaamu'alaikum...oki frankly speaking i'm a guy...nothing to be surpise, right...hahaha

    My point is...look at this situation, the husband has performed Zina but still the Wife is there and Alhamdulillah i presume she is ready to forgiveand start a new life with him...but what happen to the Wife that has got an affair...hmmm...this is catastrophic, right.

    My point here is to show how Allah Ta'ala has made woman, Fantastic, Superb, believable...actually i don't have words to describe woman. Such a sophisticated and outstanding masterpiece from Allah Ta'ala.

    May Allah Ta'ala gives all of us Hidaayah and the right partner for Life... :P

  13. salam sister(and the one nice brother, but sorry i dont trust any man right now or dont think i ever will, you sound like a perfect sweet considerate man,but so did my husband:(
    Anyhow just wanted to say, its been almost three months. We went on vacation , whole time he was in touch with her, though this was a family vacation. It was horrible, shadi ka ghar, and i was so tensed, someone was gonna talk to him, but he said after the wedding. Long story short, she found out he was telling so many lies like he was divorced and only two kids, etc, i kind of got involved and told her, i dont regret it, i had to do something. Anyhow, she said it was over. We came back home, but then for me to find out he had other women, not as serious,but relationships in the past couple of years, and he denied it, to some extent,too many lies. Ramadan came and left, i prayed my heart out. She got married a few weeks ago, was suppose to stay out of town, but found out today, she is back, to work. Now, he said he doesnt love me but cares for me deeply, blah blah. He cares for this woman but as a friend cuz he did have real feeling for her based on lies, whatever. I am so sick to my stomach to this whole affair. So much he said and openly did, i cant even say cuz i am too embarrassed that i am married to this guy. I pray to Allah that he asks Allah for forgivness and he changes and that he is not lying to me and he is not in touch with any of the other girls, as he is still mysterious with his cell 24/7 and said thats his private business and that i need to let go of stuff. Really, cuz he went and had an affair, enjoyed his summer and i had a horrible time, left my friends etc cuz i couldnt function(i use to be strong). I say us women need to join together to make each other stronger, stand on our own two feet, live for ourselves, our kids, go and live our lives and have faith in Allah that these sick, sad pathetic men repent and never do it again and are not lying to us. No one in my family knows. I do want to believe him, but how can i ??? Pls keep my and my family in your prayers. And pls sisters, keep strong and lets stop this insanity and stand up for ourseleves and become strong independent women!!! there are good guys out there, we deserve to be loved and respected!!

  14. lubnasana
    you can live without him, if you want, if he isnt gonna change and treat you with respect , he is a sick man. Dont think you are weak. YOu have your family support. We women give men like him the courage the balls to go do such a filthy low disgusting thing. And its these sick non muslims whom they find cuz for them, in their life, its normal, its ok.
    We need to support each other, they are sick!!

  15. Assalaamu'alaikum...

    Sister Ayesha and dear Lubnasana, all my respect.

    Frankly i'll tell that for sure i'll not understand your situation because i'm not married yet. I'm still an ado but Alhamdulillah i may understand your feelings and want to help my muslim brothers and sisters out there. I don't know whom ill marry too, how will i experience it, nothing...i'm zero. Life is unpredictable...may be its not even written for me to get married and face death soon...no1 knows.

    One thing i like in Sister Ayesha is...just read what she wrote down:

    and the one nice brother, but sorry i dont trust any man right now or dont think i ever will, you sound like a perfect sweet considerate man,but so did my husband:( ...ur husband as u said was a perfect sweet considerate man but not now as what you have gone through...i do understand,u don't trust him anymore but that doesn't mean that all man are the same because finally you came to the right conclusion...read down:

    there are good guys out there, we deserve to be loved and respected!! Hehe...i like that!!! If you read again what i have written up from my previous comment for sure insha-Allah u'll find something new out there...that why i love this life...i like people out there...why...because all people will get different point of view from one comment due to the light of Allah Ta'ala that HE wants us to understand...but one thing all muslims need the best of partners...

    I'll tell you something that had happen to me later on...but first want to observe ur reaction n patience...Innallaaha Ma'asswaabireen.

  16. Aysha,

    It's very easy to blame men when you suffer, but it takes two to the tango and the women whoa re involved in these relationships are equal in the blame.

    Where are the men in your families? For example we found out that our cousin's husband was cheating on her, we found proof and went to discuss matters with him, when he was caught a second time, he was divorced and his family was shamed because of it, our cousin was found a new better husband.

    Where are the men in the girl's families in all this, your brothers, your dads why are they not there to protect your right to be treated fairly by your husband?

  17. Sister,

    did you do anything that made him cheat? Gain weight or become undesirable?

    • Wow. Seriously?

    • I cannot believe I am reading this! Nothing makes a person cheat. Your statement implies that cheating is not a choice and is justified in some situations. We are humans, we have free will and if we choose to commit sin, that is our choice. Attractive/unattractive spouse adultery is still a huge sin.

      And Shaytan will say when the matter has been decided, 'Verily, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, and you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your past acts of associating me as a partner with Allah (i.e., Shirk by obeying me in the life of the world).[Soorah Ibraheem (14): 22]

      It is true that remaining attractive and other things (a happy marriage) may help to guard one another from committing other sin but some people can have it all but still will cheat. Your comment is insensitive to the poster and is untrue.

      Sara
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  18. salam everyone
    My husband is acting like this sweet person, but there is no real communicaton, just all about his desires and his comfort and him acting all like he cares and loves me. Finally said i love you but i didnt respond, what lie to him? But many times over he said it is over, but the mistress and him kept talking, he said get your head out of the gutter , we are jjust friends, lol, after claming to be madly in love with her one month, the next you are just friends and not human to feel all those things you did, care and remember her, they were physically involved, sick. He says move on, lets forget. Lol, easy for men to say. You wonder why i stay. I did it cuz i didnt want him to be lost forever to the world of sins. I thought sticking by him , he will wake up. He still says i drove him to his sins, years of diff women and then this mistress whom he went all out with and was going to secretly leave me and marry her(sad thing is she left him , with some sorry excuse for her mother) and married some family friend and he thinks she is this angel. Wow. I still believe there are great men out there. I just dont believe men, love . I believe no matter how bad situation, if you have fear of Allah or some shame or humanity, you would never ever have an extra marital affair, divorce, kick her out, but never do what my husband and many more do. I struggle. I am angry. I am putting on an act every sec of the day for kids, me, my family, cuz i believ in Allah and that maybe a miracle will happen and he willl finally in his heart realize it was his own actions he took the step he lied all these years and finally stop lying to himself and the world and really ask Allah for forgivness and be a real husband to me.
    May Allah save all the women and /or men who may experience a tragedy like i have. Allah is testing me. Allah is inshallah going to give us victims ajar,as in this world we get punished so in the Hereafter, for eternity we will be happy lucky free and loved and live happier than we can ever imagine inshallah.
    I must say i tried, but i still want revenge against this mistress , will it make a difference? will i get peace? but i know me, i want it , i need to do it. I should be patient and let Allah take care of it, inshallah its been months, i still havent, but i want to everyday.
    Salam

    • Assalaamu'alaikum Wa Rahmatoullaahi Wa Barakaatuh

      Wow it has been a long time i haven't been on this page...but Alahmdulillah i'm back :P

      Sister Aysha...please don't be Angry, please don't coz its from shaytwan.
      Once the Sahaba (RA) has asked the Nabi-e-Kareem (SAW) how could we become PIOUS, the Prophet of Allah Ta'ala (SAW) replied: "Don't get Angry, don't get Angry, don't get Angry coz angry is from shaitwan".

      Sister i'm not telling u all this to show u that u wrong, nope...never!!! But just caring for my muslim sisters and i want the best for the Ummah!!! Sister u working hard on ur Imaan but with the intention of revenge and Angryness...ur A'maal would be futile...useless!!! So, please forgive both of them and the resolution is u leave him...he is just using u...zats it, fulfilling his desires!! I don't know how u got married to him but for sure something is wrong somewhere and i'm sure its from the beginning...look i respect ur comment and feeling sister but Allah Ta'ala is there for us, just be patient and make proper reaction...the problem is that u make effort on ur Imaan but u want something thats not in Islam, Revenge. So, do u think Allah Azza Wajal will help ya...ponder on it insha-Allah ull find the right way

      Now another prob that will arose soon is ur lovely children :(
      They will be the real loser in ur relationship...u r suffering alot but these little kids r suffering more here...really this brings tears...sister if by Allah Ta'ala i have the capacity to help ya...i wish too n for any other brothers n sisters. Its very Sad...but please look back there should be something wrong, i mean from the beginning of ur relationship (Nikah).

      And by the way its not a punishment, just a test or as i told u maybe Allah Ta'ala has already shown u something about this guy but maybe u didnt take attention too or u had persist, sorry. The Prophet (SAW) is cleared about this Hadith mentioning that we r a prisoner on this earth and the kaafir its there Jannah...but nothing like punishment. So please sisi hold on, just rectify ur intention please, ull see insha-Allah soon ull find peace of heart and i make Du'a u get ur proper partner...

      Take Care..

      By the way i'm always asking myself, this page i see many words that i don't know, like: "shadi ka ghar" and many others too...i really don't understand...for sure its not arabic, even i don't know arabic that much :) anybodyyyyy help...

      Ma'assalaama

  19. Wow

    I have just stumbled across this and reading Aysha's account and chronology was like reading my own diary. But Aysha I let my anger get the better off me. I know as Muslims we should forgive but she hurt my family she did not care how much hurt she was causing my children and family.
    Despite me pleading with her that I was with my husband an wanting to save our family she continued to lead him astray a true shaytana.
    But didn't like it when her family was told of what she was up to. He on the other hand I now pity for being so stupid and selfish and as much as I male dua Allah guides him I also make dua that he gets his comeuppance for the pain he inflicted on me and my children and our families.

  20. I have been married for 5 years and I have just (Remainder of question deleted by editor)

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