My husband has betrayed me; should I confront or stay put?
Assalam u Alaikum
I am 29 years old and got married 6 years back.It was a love arranged marriage.I have 2 sons MashaAllah. Before getting married i thought of my fiancee as a very religious and steadfast person.Because he used to pray in mosque and was somewhat nice to me.Though he had a temper problem and even back then he was very moody,when he was in mood he will laugh with you and make all kind of jokes.But if its the opposite,he would talk in a loud tone,say bad things and abuse verbally.At that time he used to say sorry(which he never says now).almost three years into our marriage,i was pregnant with the second child at that time,i remained in hospital due to illness(I had two babies in 2-1/2 years time and i was not well during my pregnancy and had two c-sections)So when i came home from hospital,i found out that he watches porn..i thought how can a person do such a thing when his wife is in hospital giving birth to his child
.I trusted him blindly before that and would never spy on him.But when i came to know about porn thing,i felt so bad.i didn't talk to him first.But kept checking history.He would stay up till late at night and would say i am searching for jobs.And when i checked history,he had been on all kinds of porn sites. i was afraid to confront him,but i did.He got really mad at first.Denied it.Then he just said,oh u were in hospital so i got carried away..and those were pop ups.I asked him to promise me that he will not do that again but he did not and asked me to stay away from his private stuff.From that day till now i don't trust him,whenever he is on internet,i get all the ill feelings of what he might be doing and i was right.He was watching pictures of semi nude girls.
To add more to it,Yesterday, he left his facebook id open.I read his messages and his friend sent him picture of his ex beloved.He said to his friend that he is unable to forget her.I am devastated by this.He is with me but his heart is somewhere else.He spends most of the time on internet when he is at home.I fight with him over it because both of my sons are young and i get tired with them.I also need someone to talk to.Most of the time i sit with him.But he doesn't talk to me much and he still has the same mood problem also.He will get angry at anything.He is supporting us good financially but money cant b substitute of a man's love n caring words.
I have become more inclined towards religion after all this.I want my children to be good Muslims. I want us to be a good Muslim family.We don't have TV and my husband has long beard,plus he prays in mosque and he does know a lot about deen.I make him listen to Islamic lectures in car. But knowing all this about him,i see him as a hypocrite.I don't know what to do.Is it my fault that i got sick in pregnancy.Inst it from Allah?Should i confront him again or stay quite.if i do stay quite,it will kill me from inside.
Please help me
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