Husband has not told his future second wife we are married.
We have been married eleven years. Due to medical issues I cannot have children but we do have a stable and loving marriage, and we are also caring for his ten year old niece on a long term basis and love her very much. However, as it is my issue that he does not have his own child, I suggested he seek out a second wife. He agreed but said that she would have to agree to become part of his family and live with us all. I love my husband very much and would be so happy for him to have his own children as I know he would be a wonderful father.
It proved to be a difficult task for him to find such a sister who agreed to his situation, he found one lady who agreed and I even began to build a relationship on Skype as she was from his own country, I also spoke with her mother and just as it was moving forward his family vetoed her family and therefore the marriage did not take place for reasons I cannot discuss. He was then introduced through family members to three other women who all declined due to his situation. Needless to say, I believe this took a toll on his self confidence and he then informed me that the next prospective wife he found he would not tell them he is already married.
Now he has offered marriage and been accepted to his cousin, her family are not in touch with his family to a great extent as it is his father's estranged sister and he sought out the family for this reason. He has told her and the family that he pays me to look after his niece and I have my own home and that I do not live in the house with him. I have to be quiet when he talks with her on the telephone, and he can be verbally abusive to me and on one occasion when I answered the telephone she was quite brusque and informed my husband she had no need to talk with me..
I am so concerned for everything; this is his cousin and family and I wonder if he will fulfil his lie and divorce me when she arrives from his home country. She is twenty years younger than him. I have no bad feelings for her just concerns that she will never trust my husband when she learns of his deceit and I don't think that she will be a willing co-wife in the future as she was not aware of his situation before her marriage. She believes she is the only wife to him, my husband states that as his wife she will have to learn to adjust to the situation.
Basically, I am rocked by my husband's lies to her and his disregard of our marriage and the fact he has put me down as the paid helper really hurts. Should I prepare for the worst? I don't know what is going to happen, I love his niece as a daughter and his family have agreed only because of my original suggestion, but the situation has changed. Any advice received gratefully,
wakak
12 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
ASSALAMALAIKUM-
SORRY TO SAY THE WOMEN TODAY DONT AGREE TO MARRY A MARRIED PERSON BECAUE THEY WANT TO DEFY ALLAH AND THE RULE OF SHARIAH-FOR WHICH THEY WILL ANSWER ALLAH AND FACE PUNISHMENT-
Lying Is Forbidden
One of the greatest errors is for people to act according to their own logic, or to the value judgments widespread in their society, which often is far from Islam, and not to the logic prescribed by Allah in the Qur'an. In other words, they approve of, ignore, or implement, comfortably and without thinking, the very behavior of which Allah disapproves and thus will punish in the Hereafter. Lying is the most prominent behavior of this type. Even though most people know that lying is a bad moral characteristic, some people merely pay lip service to this knowledge because so many people have turned this serious character defect into a habit. Allah points out this fact in the following verse of the Qur'an:
Those who do not believe in Allah's Signs are merely inventing lies. It is they who are the liars. (Surat an-Nahl, 16:105)
Interestingly, most people who come into contact with a liar know when he or she is lying, but do not bother to expose the lies. In other words, they allow the liar to continue spreading his or her lies. Lying is a secret language among people, one about which everybody remains silent.
When something valuable is broken, for instance, the person who broke it may lie and deny having done so, thereby saving the day according to his own mentality. In fact, he puts himself in a very bad position, because if it is revealed that he is lying, he will greatly damage the very pride that he is trying to protect. Even more important, he has earned Allah's disapproval. To the same extent that a Muslim avoids eating pork and makes sure to pray five times a day, he is scrupulous about not lying.
However, people who do not consider that lying is forbidden immediately resort to lies to protect themselves whenever they find themselves in a difficult position. Maybe at that moment they rescue themselves from what really is a difficult position, or believe that they have done so, but, as unrepentant and dishonest people, they will be held responsible for their lie in the afterlife.
Some people lie with great ease because they do not think about the Hereafter or believe that lying causes any harm. An example of this is the expression "white lies," which signifies small untruths that are believed to be innocent and harmless, or that rescue the person from a particular situation. However, any type of lying indicates insincerity, hypocrisy, and falsity under any circumstances, for those who engage in it are deceiving and disrespecting others. For this reason, "white" lies are the same as "black" lies, and have their own harmful effects.
Allah has forbidden lying, as has our Prophet (saas), as seen below:
"Shall I not inform you of a great sin? Beware, it is to speak falsehood..." 1
YOU WILL BECOME THE WITNESS TO YR HUSBANDS FALSEHOOD-THAT IS HIS LIE-OF A MAJOR ISSUE-
AND THE SPOILING OF THE GIRLS LIFE FOR YOUR OWN GAIN AND DECEIVING HER IN HER MARRIAGE CASE IS A MAJOR CRIME-
"False witness has been made equivalent to attributing a partner to Allah. Avoid the abomination of idols and speaking falsehood as people pure of faith to Allah, not associating anything with Him" 2
"Be careful of falsehood as it is the companion of the sinners and both will be in Hell." Lying Is Cooperation With Satan....
Lying is one of the bad effects that Satan has on people. Satan convinces people that lying is an easy way out of their problems and so inspires them to adopt that forbidden habit. People with weak faith listen to his whispers. Satan's ability to make lies attractive with these words: "What has Satan not done to you? He has made you love lies. He has made evil acts seem attractive to you."
Liars devise plots in order to deceive others, to justify themselves, or to protect their advantages. And yet they always end up falling into their own traps and losing a great deal.
The trust of others: Since all liars give themselves away sooner or later, they lose other people's trust and respect. Even when they are telling the truth, they are regarded with suspicion. They are entrusted with nothing, and nobody wants to do business with them. Unable to make sincere and honest friends, people act carefully around them.
"If a person is known as a liar, no trust in him remains, he is disgraced and is regarded as of no value. If you want to understand the ugliness of lying, look at the ugliness of the lies of other people, see what hatred is felt for them and how much a liar is scorned, and be aware of how ugly you will find your own lie..."10
Self-affection and self-trust: Liars, all of whom are aware of their own immorality, regard themselves as wicked and worthless, and so neither respect nor trust themselves. They behave in a crushed and complex-ridden way, because they know how others see them. In addition, they try to hide their cunning by behaving in a self-assured and pushy manner.
Assalaamualaikam
Your first statement puzzles me; you say that women today do not marry married men because they want to defy Allah, and that there will be punishment - but Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her), the daughter of The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), was in a monogamous marriage, as was The Prophet Muhammad himself (peace be upon him) with Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her).
How can it be a sin for someone to have a preference for a monogamous marriage, when two of the most respected women to have lived were in such marriages?
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM-
DEAR MIDNIGHTMOON-
THE ORDER IN QURAN FOR MEN TO MARRY IS THE POINT TO BE NOTED-4 IN NUMBER
AND WHEN MEN TAKE THE INITIATIVE AND WHEN THE NEW PROPOSED GIRL DENIES TO AGREE OR TO SURRENDER TO HIS OFFER IS THE ONE WHO WILL ANSWER ALLAH AND FACE PUNISHMENT FOR NOT COMPLYING TO THE RULE OF POLYGAMY [FROM QURAN]
WHO LIVED IS NOT AN EXAMPLE HERE BUT WHO ARE DENYING THE COMMAND OF ALLAH IS THE POINT-
THE CASE OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED PERSON WHO ALL HE TOLD HE IS MARRIED THEY BACKED OUT....
FOR THEM IS A SEVERE PUNISHMENT DUE TO WHICH THE COUPLE IS CONSIDERING TO USE A LIE AND MARRY THE LATEST GIRL DISCUSSED FOR HER HUSBAND-
SEE HERE ITSELF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE 1ST 3 WHO DENIED AND THE 4TH BEING TAKEN FOR RIDE BY HIDING THAT THE PERSON IS ALREADY MARRIED-
NOT ONLY THIS EVEN THE MARRIAGE TAKES PLACE ALSO AND TRUTH COMES LATER THE ENMITY CAN LEAD TO MANY CRIMES FROM THE GIRLS SIDE[BROTHERS ETC] WHO WAS DUPED BY THE PERSON BY HIDING HE IS MARRIED ALL BECAUSE OF THE DENIAL [OF1ST 3]TO MARRY A MARRIED MAN-
I REPEAT THE TWO PERSONALITIES YOU MENTIONED THERE IS NO PROOF THAT 2ND MARRIAGE PROPOSAL-CAME UP AND THEY DENIED IT-HENCE THEY ARE NOT THE SUBJECT MATTER IN THIS CASE-
REGARDS
Assalaamualaikam
My understanding was that, as in the hadith posted below, Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) did not wish to be in a polygamous marriage, and upon hearing of her opinion on this, Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) remained married solely to her. So, in the life of The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) there is an example of a woman beloved by him who was not willing to be in a polygamous marriage.
In the Qur'an, in Surah An-Nisa, it is stated that polygamy is permissible, and also that if a man fears he may not be able to treat his wives equally, then he should marry only one.
There are also numerous hadiths relating to the subject of a woman's consent being required for marriage - if a woman's consent is essential, how can it be sinful for her to decline if she does not wish to marry a particular man?
In this poster's situation, the woman who her husband plans to take as a second wife is already being deceived (as he has actively lied to her) which is not fair on her and removes her ability to give informed consent/agreement, and the poster already fears that there may be unjust treatment in the marriage. Your argument seems to be that this is the fault of the women who previously declined his proposal, but he is acting out of his own free will - he has chosen this course of action.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Assalam alaikum Brother,
Men are not being ordered to marry 4 women in the Quran as you have written:
Men can marry upto 4 women, but don't have to. Also, the Quran states for men to marry only one if they cannot be just with their wives. No where does it state that a woman MUST marry a man who is already married or that she will be held responsible in any way if that man now decides to lie to future proposals about his marrital status.
You wrote:
Where is this punishment you are mentioning in the Quran?
Again, the first three girls/women are not responsible for the actions of this man.
To the OP,
I really do agree with sister Amy. You are trying to control the situation and it isn't your place to do so. It would be ideal if your husband understood the rights of multiple wives and if he is indeed serious, he should be leading in this regard and be direct in his approach as lying to his future wife will only create further complications later.
Assalamu alaykum,
Once, Hadrat Ali (Radi Allahu anho) recieved a proposal to marry the daughter of Abu Jahl. When Hadrat Fatima (Radi Allahu anha) became aware of this fact, she went straight to the Beloved Prophet (Sallall Allahu Ta’ala Alaihi Wasallam) and apprised him of the current circumstances.
The Beloved Prophet (Salla Allahu Ta’ala Alaihi Wa sallam) mounted his pulpit and delivered the following sermon whose each and every word bears witness that the Messenger of Allah (Subhanah Wa Ta’ala) loved his daughter to the core of his heart:
“Banu Hashim have sought my consent to marry their daughter to Ali bin Talib. I do not give the consent; I do not give the consent. I do not give the consent. Yes, if Ali wishes, he should first give divorce to my daughter and then marry their daughter. Because my daughter is a part of my body. The thing which disturbs her disturbs me and the thing which distresses her, distresses me.” (Muslim)
******
During the lifetime of Hadrat Fatima Radi Allahu ta'ala anha, Hadrat Ali Radi Allahu ta'ala anhu at one stage proposed to marry a daughter of Abu Jahl. When the Beloved Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa 'aalihi wa Sallam came to know of this proposal, he became annoyed and declared that if Hadrat Ali Radi Allahu ta'ala anhu wanted to marry another wife, he should divorce Hadrat Fatima Radi Allahu ta'ala anha first. Thereupon Hadrat Ali Radi Allahu ta'ala anhu abandoned the idea of marrying another wife.
Astaghfurillah do you seriously think Fatima radi Allahu anha will be punished for that????
A woman doesn't have to marry a married man just because he proposed to her. It's her right to refuse proposal and marry who she wishes to.Just because someone proposed to her it doesn't mean she have to accept it, does it?
ASSLAMALAIKUM
I HAVE HEARD THIS CASE OF HAZRATH FATIMA FOR THE 1ST TIME I WILL CHECK AND FIND OUT ABOUT THE STAND TAKEN BY HER AND LET YOU KNOW ....
REGRADS
If a man can not be just with more than one wife he must not marry more than one. Otherwise he will be resurrected half-paralyzed.
Rasulallah صلى الله عليه و سلم said: “If a man has two wives, but does not treat them with equality and even-handed justice, he shall be resurrected on the Day of Judgement in such a condition that half of his body is paralysed.” (Tirmidhi)
Lets read this story:
An estrangement took place between al-Mansur and his wife because he inclined away from her and she asked him to be fair. He asked her whom she would be content with as an arbiter and she chose Abu Hanifa. Al-Mansur was happy with that and Abu Hanifa was summoned.
He said to him, "Abu Hanifa, this free woman contends with me. Give me my right against her."
Abu Hanifa said, "Let the Amir al-Mu'minin speak."
"Abu Hanifa," he replied, "How many wives can a man marry at the same time?"
"Four," he replied.
"How many slavegirls is he allowed?"
"As many as he likes," was the reply.
"Is anyone permitted to say anything different?"
"No," replied the Imam.
"You have heard," Mansur cried out to his wife
But Abu Hanifa continued, "Allah has allowed this to the people of fairness. If, however, anyone is not fair or fears that he will not be fair he should only have one. Allah Almighty says, 'But if you are afraid of not treating them equally, then only one.' (4:3) So we must follow the discipline of Allah and take heed of His admonitions."
Al-Mansur was silent for a long time. The last part of Imam’s reply went against the interests of the Caliph. Then Abu Hanifa got up and left. When he reached his house, the khalif's wife sent him a servant with money, clothes, a slavegirl and an Egyptian donkey and a letter of thanks from the wife of the Caliph. He refused the gift and told the servant, "Give her my greeting and tell her that she endangers my deen. I did that for Allah, not desiring anything from anyone."
"The Four Imams: Their Lives, Works and their Schools of Thought" by Muhammad Abu Zahra, published by Dar Ul Taqwa Ltd.
Enen if a man can be fair with multiple wives monogamy is still recommended in the shariah.
Hanbali Madhab
And it is also liked that he (the person choosing a spouse) does not increase upon one woman if he attains from her الإعفاف (chastement, abstinence i.e. if marrying one woman keeps him chaste and allows him to avoid sins then he should not marry more than one) according to the most correct opinion in the Madhab. And this has been decided upon in the Madhab, and in the books Masbuuk Al-zahb, Al-khulasah, Ar-ray'yatain, Al-hawaay Al-saqeer, and others. And he said in Al-Hadaayah, and Al-Mustuu'ab, Al-Idraakul Ghayah, and Al-Faaiq: "The best is that he does not increase above marrying one woman." And Nazim said: "And (marrying) one woman is nearer (or nearest) to justice." And he said in Tajreed Al-'anaayah: "This is the most widespread (opinion)." And Ibn Khateeb Al-Salaamiyah said "The majority of the companions prefer (or recommend) that he does not increase above one woman (i.e marrying one woman)" and Ibn Al-Juuzi said: "Except if one woman does not allow him to remain chaste." The end {Page 1337, Al-Insaf}
Shafi'i Madhab
Imam Ahmad Ibn Naqid al Misri said, "It is unlawful for a free man to marry more than four women. It is fitter to confine oneself to just one (Umdatu Salik -Reliance of the Traveller)
So if a man truly has high iman he will prefer to be monogamous in the dunya.
A believer will never perfect his faith until his desires follow what I have brought to you. (l-Madkhal As-Sunnah Al-Kubra 150, Grade: Hasan)
People can have more than one wife. No problem. But to not believe that monogamy is better than polygamy is a serious indicator of people's iman, as many scholars hold the position that monogamy is mustahabb (recommended) and they have even declared this the position of their madhabs.
We are told to marry a person for their deen and character. And if a man doesn't love the recommendations of the deen he does not even deserve to get married. He should stay a bachelor because no sister who marries for the deen's sake can marry someone with such a low iman.
As far as a woman not wanting polygamy is concerned, then there is nothing wrong with that.
According to the Hanafis and Malikis the first wife can even make a condition in the marriage contract that all her husband's future wives will be divorced and that all his slave-girls will be freed. So as soon as the husband is married to the second woman, the second wife gets divorced (Note: Not the first wife). And as soon as he takes a slave-girl, the slave-girl is freed.
See: http://islamqa.com/en/21860
-- -- -- -- -- --
"....and it is binding on him according to the madhhab of Abu Haneefah, so that when he gets married the divorce takes place, and when he takes a concubine she becomes free. This is also the view of Maalik..."
As for the case of Fatima رضي الله عنها and Ali رضي الله عنه it has been explained by Ibn ul-Qayyim رحمه الله:
فَيُؤْخَذُ مِنْ هَذَا أَنَّ الْمَشْرُوطَ عُرْفًا كَالْمَشْرُوطِ لَفْظًا، وَأَنَّ عَدَمَهُ يُمَلِّكُ الْفَسْخَ لِمُشْتَرِطِهِ، فَلَوْ فُرِضَ مِنْ عَادَةِ قَوْمٍ أَنَّهُمْ لَا يُخْرِجُونَ نِسَاءَهُمْ مِنْ دِيَارِهِمْ وَلَا يُمَكِّنُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُمْ مِنْ ذَلِكَ الْبَتَّةَ وَاسْتَمَرَّتْ عَادَتُهُمْ بِذَلِكَ كَانَ كَالْمَشْرُوطِ لَفْظًا، وَهُوَ مُطَّرِدٌ عَلَى قَوَاعِدِ أَهْلِ الْمَدِينَةِ، وَقَوَاعِدِ أحمد رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ أَنَّ الشَّرْطَ الْعُرْفِيَّ كَاللَّفْظِيِّ سَوَاءٌ، وَلِهَذَا أَوْجَبُوا الْأُجْرَةَ عَلَى مَنْ دَفَعَ ثَوْبَهُ إِلَى غَسَّالٍ أَوْ قَصَّارٍ، أَوْ عَجِينَهُ إِلَى خَبَّازٍ، أَوْ طَعَامَهُ إِلَى طَبَّاخٍ يَعْمَلُونَ بِالْأُجْرَةِ، أَوْ دَخَلَ الْحَمَّامَ أَوِ اسْتَخْدَمَ مَنْ يَغْسِلُهُ مِمَّنْ عَادَتُهُ يَغْسِلُ بِالْأُجْرَةِ وَنَحْوَ ذَلِكَ، وَلَمْ يَشْرُطْ لَهُمْ أُجْرَةَ أَنَّهُ يَلْزَمُهُ أُجْرَةُ الْمِثْلِ. وَعَلَى هَذَا، فَلَوْ فُرِضَ أَنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ مِنْ بَيْتٍ لَا يَتَزَوَّجُ الرَّجُلُ عَلَى نِسَائِهِمْ ضَرَّةً وَلَا يُمَكِّنُونَهُ مِنْ ذَلِكَ، وَعَادَتُهُمْ مُسْتَمِرَّةٌ بِذَلِكَ، كَانَ كَالْمَشْرُوطِ لَفْظًا.
وَكَذَلِكَ لَوْ كَانَتْ مِمَّنْ يَعْلَمُ أَنَّهَا لَا تُمَكِّنُ إِدْخَالَ الضَّرَّةِ عَلَيْهَا عَادَةً لِشَرَفِهَا وَحَسَبِهَا وَجَلَالَتِهَا، كَانَ تَرْكُ التَّزَوُّجِ عَلَيْهَا كَالْمَشْرُوطِ لَفْظًا سَوَاءٌ.
And it is taken from this (i.e understood) that that which is conditioned according to custom is like that which is conditioned according to words and that its absence is equal to making null (or abolishing) its stipulation, and it were assumed from the custom of a nation that they do not drive out their women from their homes and they do not place that decision in the hands of their wives and their customary habit adheres to this, then it is the same as that which has been stipulated by custom. And it is constant with the rules of Ahulul Madinah. And the rules of Ahmed that the customary condition is the same as the wordy condition (one which has been stipulated by words). And because of this they have made necessary the fee on he who hands over his clothes to laundryman or bleacher or (he hands over) his batter to a baker or (he hands over his) food to a cook who perform their duties in return for a price or he enters a bathroom or takes the help of he who washes it (the bathroom) whose habit is that he washes in return for a price and the like of that and he does not stipulate for them a price it is necessary for him to pay the adequate wage. And based on this if it is assumed that the woman of a house or it is assumed that a woman is from a house where the man does not marry another woman other than this woman and they have not given him the ability to do so and their habit continues in this respect, then it is like that which is stipulated as a condition. And likewise if she is one upon whom it is not possible for another woman to enter according to the rules of custom due to her high rank and high regard and her loftiness, then the leaving of the marrying over her (i.e marrying another woman) is like that which has been stipulated according to words. {Zad al Ma’ad, 5/108 Mu’assasatu al-Risalah edition}
Salaams,
I'd like to begin by saying that I think you are coming from the wrong place to insist that your husband's potential second wife come and live with you all in the same home like one family unit. According to sharia laws as they apply to polygamy, each wife has the right to her own home separate from the other wives. It's her right to have that, so it's an overstepping of boundaries for you to insist otherwise, or to expect/request a co-wife to give up her rights to suit your preference.
It seems clear that this untenable position you've put upon your husband is exactly what's limiting his options, and perhaps may be the reason he has decided to start to be deceptive so that he doesn't have to continue the frustration of searching for a second wife who meets the criteria you've unfairly set upon their marriage.
Instead of focusing on his lying (which no doubt, lying and deception -especially when it comes to planning a marriage- is clearly wrong), I would suggest that you instead reconsider your position and look at other options which create less of a burden on your husband and his pursuit of another wife. Be open to letting his wife have a place of her own, and respect her wishes if she doesn't want to have direct contact with you or a relationship with you. In short, by giving them their own private life and marriage without interference, it will probably be much easier for your husband to deal with both of you openly and sincerely.
Polygamy is hard no matter what you do. A lot of times women try to influence their husband's decisions (both first and second etc wives do this), because it helps them feel like they are in control of a situation that causes a lot of pain, jealousy, and insecurity. Unfortunately a lot of power plays start filtering into the marriages and before long, each wife thinks the other is trying to run the show or infringe on "her territory". The husband, under immense stress and pressure from both wives, often tends to manage delicate situations with corner cutting or even unjustly, just to keep his own sanity. In the end, it all builds into a horrible experience for everyone that is often resolved with one of the wives being divorced prematurely.
Try not to let yourself get caught up in this. I'm saying that because trying to dictate everyone's living situation and rapports can be a sign that it is beginning. Back off, give your husband some space to do what he needs to do, and be a generous, God-fearing first wife who respects the rights of the second to privacy.
Either that, or tell your husband that it's better to remain monogamous and consider other means of having children (ie: adoption). If he's not agreeable to that, and insists on polygamy against your wishes, you have the right to leave the marriage if you so desire. Those are the most drastic outcomes, so don't ponder those unless that's where things naturally lead.
I personally feel that if your husband has a true problem with lying or being deceptive, it probably would've shown up long before now. If you've had ongoing issues with his lies since you've known him, that's one thing, and will take a whole other set of solutions to resolve. If, on the other hand, he is normally a straightforward and honest person, and the present situation has enticed him to start lying, then you changing your part of the equation will likely help correct that problem.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
AsSalaamu Alaikum Sister,
I don't know where your husband is going to hide lying to his future second wife. No matter what the situation is, the future wife should be able to know that he is married so that she could decide whether to accept to be in a polygamous marriage or not. Perhaps there could be another chance for her to be in a monogamous marriage, but this man has deceived her to make her choose him.
So she will just find out about the first wife later in the future, and then maybe get divorced after everything, which may also put her in a situation (if she belongs to a particular culture) where it could be hard for her to get married again. Honestly, he shouldn't play games with her future plans.
So I'd suggest that you discuss with your husband and let him know the disadvantages of lying to the future second wife, and the chances of many problems that may happen in the future, which may also lead to ruining an innocent woman's life. He should be open to the woman, and then trust Allah. Perhaps, this is a trial from Allah for him. For example it may be that it is not in his nature to lie, but Allah is testing him in this case to see if he would lie or trust the practice of Allah.
Finally, why should a man even lie just to have a wife or a second wife? One of the important elements of a strong marriage relationship is the basis of trust between spouses. If the marriage was built on the basis of deception, then I do not know what good could come out of such marriage. It would be better to be without it, than to spend the rest of your life trying to fix a broken marriage relationship.
Hope this helps, and Allah knows best.
Don't let your husband ruin her life. As someone mentioned, it could be difficult or even impossible for her to get married again. She is young so plz don't ruin her and your own life by lying to her. Her family won't be happy when they find out, which they will sooner or later. Since they are relatives as well it will bring problems within all of their family. Your husband already started to disrespect you to hide his lie. What will happen later?