My husband is too close with his sister!
I am a 22 year old Muslim mother from Palestine, my husband is from Jordan. We got married about 4 years ago. At first I was in love with him. My husband from day one loved me but was always secretive. He was my first love the first man I ever talked to, I really didn't know how men were. We lived in Jordan the first 2 years that we were married and I would always find my husband on the phone and after the phone calls he would change towards me. I would lie to myself and say no hes not mad at me. He would be on the phone for hrs. I would get mad because I would ask him who are you talking to? and he wouldn't tell me. Then I knew it was his older sister that lived in America. Telling him lies about me, saying that I talked about his family to my family. Which never happened.
So when we came to live in America. She would always come over and beep for him to come outside (not even come inside the house) and of course he would go running to her. She would wake him up every morning just to talk or Allah (swt) knows what they were talking about. She would always want him just for her. This went on for about a year or two. Then it was the same but I just forgot about it because me having 1 daughter at that time, I just stopped stressing myself for them.
One day the devil played with my head and I started looking through my husbands phone. It was him and his same older sister talking. 1-2 times daily and everyday. I would ask myself what can they be talking about. Also not just for 1 minute or 2. It would be for 10 minutes and more, I've seen for half hours;and hours. When he went out of course he calls her. She tells him what to do in his life. He's unhappy where he works and I tell him right now we need this job so stay, he tells his older sister that hes unhappy at his job and she jumps in and says I'll take you to get a job she wanted him to work as she liked. She gave him numbers to Dentist offices,Doctors offices, etc, everything you can think of. It made me feel like she wanted him to think that I wasn't the perfect wife by me not provided him numbers or etc of what he wanted. He opens all his heart to her. Shes very noisy, she has to know how much he makes at work, or if he gets raises or if he took me and my daughters out.
I was pregnant when I started to look through his phone I was so stressed because he was always on the phone with her. I'm very close with my sister but not with my brother, I love my brothers but I'm not noisy to ask them about their lives. She always call him and they talk about Palestinians and he tell me its his friends telling him this but I know its her. He told me that his friend made him an appointment and then I found out it was her that made it for him, he told me he went looking for a new job by himself and I found out it was with her. He tells me ALOT of lies and SubhanAllah The lies show and hes always lying for her.
She hates that hes nice to me. He gave me money once to go buy clothes and she kept asking me how much did he give you money. She calls him and always tells him that his family need money overseas. She doesn't want him to spend money on me or my girls. I'm a mother of two girls <3 and I can't have my husband tell his older sister everything that happens in my house..Also when hes on the phone with her he has to go outside to talk.
He never spends time with me. He never talks with me, he never jokes or smiles with me. But with his older sister he is always happy, he jokes with her almost on all his days off I ask him nicely can we got out and he tells me yeah and then he takes me to his older sisters house. My life is revolved around his sister. I want to get a divorce and my sister keeps saying no but I fell out in love with him I'm just done with him. Let him go live with his sister and just leave me alone.
So I just wanted to know, am I overreacting. Am I being childish?? My mom says forget it ignore her, I tell my mom that no I can't this is my life..an its already been 5 years..my sister says I'm stressing myself too much..but they're not in my shoes I really don't know what to do. Please brothers and sisters HELP
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