Caught my husband trying to photograph my sister in the shower
I have been married for over 3 years. In the years that we have been married, whatever problems we faced I had always just brushed aside with the hope that things will improve over time.
This all changed the day after my 30th birthday (just over 2 weeks ago). My youngest sister had stayed over for the night as she does sometimes. That morning, I was getting ready to go to work and was clearing up some things to put into the kitchen sink before heading off. As I was heading into the kitchen, I caught my husband with his phone camera on and knew he was about to attempt to take a picture of my sister as she was taking a shower in the bathroom (the window was slightly ajar).
When he saw me, he quickly claimed he was trying to look for a document in the spare room which was located just behind the bathroom and couldn't find it. I watched him for a few minutes as he went around the apartment trying to look busy. My sister was oblivious to what had happened.
When he went into our bedroom, I followed him in and closed the door behind him. I quietly and calmly asked him directly if he had tried to take picture of my sister in the shower. He denied it.
I walked out and together with my sister, we left the apartment. Later that day, I returned to the apartment, packed my things and went to my mum's house where I've been staying since.
The following day, he came to see me and admitted to his mistake. He said he had the intention to act as such because he hoped I would catch him and hence leave him. He felt he did not deserve me and had not been fulfilling his duties as a husband. Nevertheless, he had realised his mistake and begged for forgiveness. He said he knew what he had done was horribly wrong and that I would need time to myself so he gave me permission to stay with my mother for as long as I wanted.
Prior to this incident, we had also faced other issues but because I loved him so much I was willing to overlook the flaws in the relationship. Even though we have only been married for 3 years, we only have intimate relations once a month. And not because of my lack of trying.
He has also failed to provide for me, as he has been with financial difficulty for a while. I have had to fend for myself throughout the duration of the relationship with him contributing only when he was able to.
Most recently, he admitted to wanting to wait until next year to have a baby even though our initial plan was for me to conceive by this year. He had made this decision to wait without consulting me beforehand. His reason was he was not financially prepared.
Having said this, despite the flaws, we have a wonderful relationship in that we share almost everything together, we love almost nothing more than to spend time together. He treats me well and is loving towards his family as well as mine. He has a kind naturedness about him which I have never seen in anyone before and he gives me a sense of calm that I have never felt before meeting him.
Now I am torn between what my mother and older sister thinks I should do (they know what happened) and my inner self which tells me to give him another chance. I have taken comfort in the fact that he has owned up to his mistake and is now taking measures to right his wrong.
In this matter, what is the actual right thing to do???
- Dazed Confused
Tagged as: adultery, eavesdropping, lecherous husband, looking at other women, peeping tom, pervert, spying, women, Zina