Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Husband will not take me back or divorce me

muslim woman holding onto quran

Asalam.

I got married 4 years ago and I had two miscarriages. My husband is not good with me. Two years I sit in parents, then my inlaws took me back then they were not good with me. Now I'm again in parents home and my husband is not allowing me to come back to him and he saying that he doesn't want to live with me and not even sending me divorce. So, what does Islam say in this situation? What do I do then?

mikhan


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4 Responses »

  1. Assalamoalaikum sister. I am sort of in the same situation and I know how hard it can be. I do not for how long have you been in this situation but sister do your best to reconcile with your husband and if he still doesn't agree why don't you take khula and look for a better partner? Why would you want to waste your years waiting for a man who doesn't want you? I have been in this situation for almost two months and already I am thinking of setting a deadline and if my husband doesn't take me back I will do whatever Allah swt wills. I need to also take care of myself and look for a better partner who can maybe give me a normal married life.

    Hope this helped.

  2. You don't need to wait around for your husband to give you a divorce, you can initiate one yourself. This is called khula'. Go to an imam, explain the situation and tell him you want to do a khula' from your husband. The divorce will be enacted by a judge or other authority, depending on where you live, so that your husband has no say and no control over it. However, be aware that by seeking khula' you forfeit your right to the dowry he gave you when you married. Good luck.

  3. Sister I completely understand your situation because I've been there myself and still am. It's been a year and although I have filed for divorce it's still a painfully long process. I would suggest that if you have tried everything to reconcile, and you firmly believe that divorce is the best solution then file for it yourself. Islamically you can apply for a Khula. As I have found out you can in fact complete the entire process yourself if your husband doesn't cooperate. I guess if he doesn't want to reconcile , then no point wasting your life for him. This is not the behaviour of a good Muslim man - it's torture, he's causing you pain. He needs to go one way or the other and respect you enough to make a decision so that you can move on in peace.

  4. Salaam Sister

    I agree that you should not waste your life on this ingrate. Love is a fickle thing, trust, loyalty and respect is what you can build a marriage on and you are not getting any of it from him. My advice is, ask for khul and pray Allah will find you a husband worthy or you.

    This, and the comments from sisters here, proves how important it is that all sisters have a clause in their marriage contract granting them talaq-al-tafwid, delegated power of talaq from their husbands. With this clause, a wife has equal right to issue talaq as her husband, without delay and without forfeiting her mahr.

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