I took my girlfriend’s virginity, now she’s getting married to another guy.
Please excuse my grammar and misspelling english is not my first language. I come from a Christian family, but I was never very religious at all, like the average western teen all I care about was girls, parties living a reckless life. About 4 years ago I met a Tajik girl at work (Muslim girl from Tajikistan), at first we where coworkers, then friends and it turned into a relationship. Her parents did not know.
Two year and half ago I persuade her to be intimate with me, she was 16 and I 18 at the time. Over time I got to know her better and her family and my love for her started growing. I never thought I was going to be so in love with her, I never have seen a girl show so much love and care about me. Clearly that wasn't the best way I should have started.
Over the course of the time she taught me about islam and even gave me a Qu'ran. She told me that in order for us to get marry I have to convert to islam. I stated that for me to be muslim it has to come from the heart and really mean it and do it for the right reason otherwise i'll just be a liar in front of the eyes of Allah.
I promise her I'll do my shahada once I have no doubt and that I don't have any objections raising our children as muslim. As time went by I started learning more about her culture, traditions until I found out how sacred is for a muslim girl to be pure before marriage. Ever since that I have been struggling with the guilt. Then not long after that people started to suspect about us at work and word got around that we where dating till the mum found out .
I didn't get to know her parents really well due to they being very hard working people and now I have ruined any chance of accomplishing that. I can't even look them straight in the eye and not feel guilty. May Allah forgive for what I have done, only he knows that I am truly sorry. I told her I'll talk to her dad for forgiveness and permission to marry her and she told me her dad will never accept me as part the family. She's afraid that he'll hurt her and she won't be allowed to be in her family ever again.
Little after that I stared to notices change on her actuated towards me. At times she blame me for taking advantage of her and that she must choose her family. I have never asked her to choose me before her family in fact I want the relationship to flourish and be fruitful. I fear that her mum and sister are turning her against me. She has hopeless attitude and don't want me to do anything about it. She told me that she'll for ever hate me if I ever where to speak with her dad.
A month ago she went to visit her family in Samarkand knowingly that she was going to get engaged. Now that she is back she's being very distant and only wants to be friends. I am very much hurt and confused don't know what to do.
I'll be talking to her father soon and I'll like some advice in how to approach this very delicate manner.
How can I get through this?
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