I want to convert to Islam, but I don’t know where to start with my kids
Muslimah at Peace
Salaam Brothers and Sisters
Currently I am Christian by birth and family, but I do not practice it. I haven't for a long time. I believe the miracle birth of Jesus(pbuh) but I can't believe he is God. I was taught to serve no other god, God alone. I only pray to God as I know He the only merciful and loving God. I have never felt so sure about anything else in my life.
I have been researching Islam and I know in my heart that this is what God has prepared for me. Everyday I change more and more to become the person God wants me to be. I live in a non-muslim community and it makes it difficult for me. The only info I get is from the internet and on tv. I wish I could go to a masjid to plead my case and get support, but I don't have one near me.
As a mother I also don't know where to start with my kids. They are still young, but they pray every night to God and Jesus (pbuh). This breaks my heart as they already believe that everything must be asked in Jesus's(pbuh) name. How do I change this?
My problem is I have 2 kids from a previous marriage and not in contact with my ex-husband, but the kids are. They go visit him and his family. My other concern is if and when I do convert, do I need their father's consent? I have legal custody of the children, but can he stop me? We do not eat haraam food in my house. I'm also afraid that he will feed them haraam food and do haraam things just to spite me.
Can anyone please help with parenting advice?
~Loving Parent
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Salaam sister, masha'Allah great to hear your interest in reverting to islam, i would first of all advise you to start buying educational books for your children, which teaches kids about each prophet and their lives and status in islam, the key with kids is that they follow their mothers guidance, and while they are young you can teach them this, i will give you my personal example, every non-school night, the weekends we read a islamic story together in bed before making dua(prayer) to Allah for forgivness and a night of peace, then i put them to sleep, over time they learnt to make this dua everyday and now do so without asking, and enjoy the storytime since when parents read the child is more engaged, sister the key is to slowly help your kids adapt rather than at once, this will help them understand better and make it easier to embrace islam.
In terms of his rights over you, he has none you are divorced and do not require his permission, and since you have sole custody of the children you dont need his permission in regards to them either.
What he does to spite you, for that keep faith in Allah, and he will guide you, when you decide to revert you will realise how you become at ease as your pray, and from that you can ask for guidance and be closer to Allah.
Best of luck, i pray may Allah guide you and i hope i answered your question.
That's really nice how you read an Islamic story every night and say a dua' together. Ma-sha-Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam o alikum dear Sister,
Alhamdulillaah (Thank God) you found an interest in this beautiful Religion of Islam. This is truly a blessing to be guided and be able to see and believe the Truth.
As i read your post its very similar to my situation a while ago as i am a convert and a mom of two myself. I am also divorced and am trying my best to teach my kids about Islam InshaAllaah (Gid willing).
Good publications as well as translations of the Qur'an (the Holy book) as well as other books, ahadiths etc is http://www.dar-us-salam.com
These are the most authentic as to my humble knowledge.
I also found difficult to believe that Jesus (pbuh) was the son of God. And that is the basis of Christianity. How could have i followed it if i had doubts in believing such a fundamental part.
In order to convert you need to truly believe and make a concious decision about accepting Islam as the only Religion and the way of life. You can do that in ur house by yourself or perhaps (if u have any Muslim friends) in the presence of another Muslim as a witness and say ur Shahada: La illaha ilaI-Lah, Muhammad rasulu l-Lah (there is no god but God, and Muhammad is the messenger of God).
There are 5 pilars of Islam:
1. Oneness of God (Allaah in arabic) and Muhammad as his Prophet.
2. Pray 5 times daily
3. Fast during month of Ramadan
4. Give to Charity
5. Go for Pilgrimige (Hajj) at least once
There are several websites where you can find more info on principals of Islam nd how to follow a good Muslim life.
http://www.islamicity.com/
http://www.turntoislam.com
http://www.religioustolerance.org/islam.htm
And many more that i hope other brothers and sisters can post for u inshaAllaah.
Dont try to do too much at once. Make it a gradual change. Dont get overwhelmed. Take it one day at a time. Little by little as u gain more knowledge and passion for the Religion you' ll see it will become second nature even if not that many people around you are Muslims.
InshaAllaah ull get more and better guidance by others.
Ill keep you in my duaas (prayers).
Allaah Hafiz
Sister Hafsah
As to your kids: show them by your example. By praying, eating halal, gaining more knowledge abt Islam and as u learn- teach them. Try by explaining to them that Jesus (pbuh) was not the son on God but his messenger rather. Tell them we only pray to One God and noone else.
Brother Kelvenater's advice to read them bedtime stories abt the Prophets and Islam is excellent MashaAllaah.
Also this is a link to a website where you can buy The Holy Qur'an.
I have this one at home and is my favorite SubhanAllaah (Glory to Allaah).
Hope my advice was helpful.
http://store.dar-us-salam.com/Eng_NobleQuran/Q04.html
Allaah Hafiz
Sister Hafsah
dear concerned parent,
sure i can help you,which state are you living in united states?you can convert youself and get aid and advice from Edison musalla mosque(New jersey) or from 96th street mosque located at lexington avenuve newyork,closer to the central park,trust me you will be more than happy if you visit them,
since you are the legal custodian of your children, you can proceed the conversion along with you kids,do contact via email or by calling them, they are on the web as well,
please update us,
Dr Ruazik,
The Legal conversion is not really the issue here. The sister wants to introduce Islam to the children in a loving gentle manner and insha'Allah they will accept it when their heart feels ready.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
dear sisterz,
please note the quoting " I live in a non-muslim community and it makes it difficult for me. The only info I get is from the internet and on tv. I wish I could go to a masjid to plead my case and get support, but I don't have one near me." this is all about lacking islamic environment for her to hold islam,so she needs some urgent directions towards islamic institutions as i have mentioned,and i have seen people embracing islam in these mosques with joy,
as she has mentioned i guess that her kids are smaller to decide on this conversion,so i will pray and hope may inshalla allah may give her children hidayaa soon.
i have seen many sisters and brothers who in similar situations where they are struggling to remain islamic but their surrounding not,so inshalla we should come up with a solution seriously towards direction,towards islamic institutions and toward islamic scholars.
inshalla,may allah grant hidayaa and knowledge for all mankind,
salams.
Sister, may the peace blessings and mercy of our lord be upon you.
Children are very easily influenced by their parents, so they will do as they see you doing inshallah.
The best action you take first is to make dua for them sincerely to Allah, being certain that he [swt] will answer your prayers/supplications.
May Allah guide you and your children and put tawheed in their hearts.
dear sister Abu,
your totally right, lets make dua and hope our sister will be enlightened with more knowledge and courage,and allah is with you in every step of your way,bkz your doing the most right thing for you and for your children,
if not we all will be questioned for letting our children astray,lets hope this destiny will not befalls on any
of our umma,
Assalamu'alaikum,
Some of the information given to this sister has been very good in terms of how to teach her children about Islam. Being a revert I am fully aware of some of the obstacles she will encounter once she makes the decision to come to Islam. It's obvious that Allah(swt) is guiding her. My beliefs were the same as hers, believing that Jesus was not god.
Here is what everyone is missing. Even though she is the leagal guardian of those children does not mean that her ex-husband can't make life a living hell for her when she accepts Islam. She may not need his permission to revert back to Islam but he can certainly go to the courts and say that she is an unfit mother who does not deserve to have the children. Most certainly, the grandparents will back him up on everything he says.
Accepting Islam for her will be the easy part. How she deals with an angry ex-husband is what will be most difficult. Who knows, maybe he won't get angry at all, but sister, I would find a Muslim attorney and ask what can my ex-husband do if my children and I accept Islam as our religion.
She has to protect herself because there have been other instances where sisters have lost their children only because they became Muslim.
Sister, if you need additional help please reach out to this wesite. Depending upon where you live I'm sure some one can also give you the name of attorneys who can help protect you and your children.
Insha'allah I pray that this information has helped!
Your Brother in Islam
Abdul Wali
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Alsalam Alikom;
It brings me great pleasure when people just follow nature and find Islam. As the Prophet (PBUH) said (Meaning not narrative): all those who are born are born to be Muslims by nature but the parents make them Jews, Christians, or Fire worshipers. So, welcome sister.
First of all, do not hesitate to become a Muslim. Whether to keep it a secret, or tell everybody about it, that's something that can be dealt with, but please go ahead and do your Shahada, pray 5 times, try to do as much as you can as a Muslim.
For your ex-husband, I do not think you have any responsibility toward him at this point and you do not need his permission to become a Muslim. Regarding his retaliation and going to court to have full custody based on you changing your religion, you will need a lawyer opinion for that.
As to raise the kids, TRUST me, no matter what, Mothers have the most powerful and concentrated influence on the kids 🙂 by sitting a god example, patience, talk, explaining, inshallah they will grow more toward your side and not his. And I pray to Allah that he made you ex calm with your decision and not try to use the kids to turn them on you. Books are good, when kids are with their father you can maybe contact someone from a mosque or Islamic center to talk about things like that, because you also need to educate yourself sister and becoming better Muslim inshallah.
I hope that helped. And again all praise to Allah for opening your heart and eyes to Islam 🙂
May ALLAH guide us, grant us patience, and shower us with his mercy.
If I am correct, it is from ALLAH. If I err it is from me, and I pray ALLAH forgives me. Allah knows best.
AA
Alsalam Alikom;
Sorry, I meant to ask in my comment: Are you married now or single? There are more to it if you are married to a none Muslim at this point. Not trying to draw a bleak picture, just to cover all sides God Willing.
Alsa
Salaam brothers and sisters.
I have converted and alhamdulillah we are very happy. I got a few books and I'm learning to pray and make dua. I spend all my time reading the Quran and loving it. I have been seeing someone, but he respect me and my time with God. We don't see each other often as we are scared we might fall into sin.
My kids have embraced Islam so deeply into their hearts that thay want to go to Islamic school next year, inshallah. They want to pray with me, I told them I will teach them soon. Inshallah.
Abdul Wali you raised a very good point, but my ex-husband got involve in drugs so I think I have a better chance of keeping them. Mashallah
I have not missed a prayer yet alhamdulillah, as I find it rewarding waking up for my Fajr prayer. Waking up with God on my mind. I will be attending classes on weekends at the masjid, inshallah. I am also wearing hijab as it brings me and my thoughts so close to God. I feel naked without it, even at home alone.
Please make dua for me that God will continue to build this imaam and make it easy for me.
Alhamdulillah that you have found the best religion and that your children have found the love of Allah (swt), too! Insha'allah, your journey will be a bright and happy one, though there are sure to be trials, always keep faith in Allah (swt), make dua and practice being obedient to Him.
As a side note, please limit any relationship with any man. Of course, if you are looking to be married, then seek the help of your local masjid and only pursue the halal means of getting married in a proper Islamic setting with the proper Islamic fundamentals and understanding as its' aspects. If this man who shows an interest in you wishes to be serious about a future proposal, ask your local imam and some trusted Muslim sisters to help you. Be very careful in this regard may Allah (swt) guide you to the best situation!
Assalam o alikum dear Sister,
Im very happy to hear that you are doing so great Alhamdulillah. You are truly blessed to see the Truth and show it to your kids as well MashaAllaah.
Keep up with it Sister and as you learn more inshaAllaah you will feel closer and closer to Allaah (swt).
"He grants wisdom to whom He pleases; and he whom wisdom is granted receives indeed a benefit overflowing; but none will grasp the Message but men of understanding."
Surah Al-Baqarah 2:269
"Those who believe, and do deeds of righteousness, and establish regular prayers and regular charity, will have their reward with their Lord: on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve."
Surah Al-Baqarah 2:277
"Praise be to Allaah, Who has sent to His Servant the Book, and has allowed therein no crookedness."
Surah Al-Kahf 18:1
Allaah's (swt) blessings and mercy on you and your family.
Allaah knows best!
Sister Hafsah
no need for long commnets,its nice that sister wants to change and may Allah help her and guide her,my sister pls just be good example for your kids and you follow the right way as somebody mentioned above mother is the most powerful with kids.amin i will pray for you.
As-salaamualaikum
Hey may new Muslim sister
Also visit the website of the worlds largest Islamic movement which is working even in jails whose name is ''Dawate Islaami''
http://www.dawateislami.net
Keep watching Madani Channel that It is a Islamic channel which is musicless and advertisementless.
Wassalaam