I want to get out of a haram relationship
I am also in a relationship that is haram right now, as I am typing this, my heart is sooo heavy, I am just not myself because I want to leave him, I am really crazy about him but am scared of Allah, I have been in too many Haram relationships I feel like am the worse person on earth, I feel like I am going to die now, what will I tell Allah when I die? I don't want to be in trouble with Allah. ALhamdulillah Allah has called me to the light, I have really changed my ways totally to the extent that I don't even listen to music! I am still a virgin, I just want to get out of haram relationships! I want to marry in the halal way.
Please someone encourage me, tell me what to do. SubhanAllah. I don't even know how to tell him that I dont want haram relationship anymore cause I have changed, I want to turn to Allah completely.
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Salaam sister Jamila.
Alhumdulilah that Allah swt has called you back to Him! He has opened your eyes. Not everyone who strays gets this beautiful chance so grab it with both hands.
First of all sister, do not meet this man or phone him. Send him a message and explain that you can no longer continue in a haraam relationship anymore. That is all you need to tell him that things have changed. Yes he will be hurt but in life sometimes the choices we make may hurt others. The benefit you will gain from this and the harm you will save yourself from by FAR outweighs any hurt he will feel. He will move on. If you are really worried about how he will react and there is nothing on this thread that you dont want him to see you could email him the link to this thread.
If the guy wishes to marry you he should approach your parents/your wali to ask for your hand. And you should not meet except in the presence of your wali.
After informing him though you need to cut contact to avoid falling into the same trap. Vow not to go near zina again and cry to Allah swt in repentance. Do not despair of His mercy if you are sincere He will forgive you and turn your sins to good deeds!
Shaytaan will try to make you feel bad for hurting him and remind you of the good times but be strong sister, you can do it! Alhumdulialh, spend time on prayer and reading Qur'an/ Strengthen your emaan and do not be afraid. Change is scary, especially such a big one. But any change bringing you towards Allah is beautiful.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
MashaAllah.. I also ignored my feelings for a non muslim man for the fear of Allah's Wrath.. May Allah protect us all from the accursed sheytan..
Dear sister,
I am also experiencing the same things. I am in a relationship with a non Muslim for almost an year. We have become physical to a great extent and suddenly one month ago i realised what m doing is wrong. So I stopped talking to him and started practicing like salah n Quran. I also stayed away from haram things like music, backbiting and doing a lot of dhikr but last week he came back again and asked me to meet him. And I don't know why I became so weak that I went to see him n kissed him. Now I have stopped talking to him again but m afraid Allah won't accept my repentance as I doubt that I can start talking to him again. Plz suggest me how to leave him completely as it is very difficult for me. I miss him a lot n end up texting him though I know its wrong.
Dear Aisha,
Allah have make Human being "Ashraf Ul Makhluqaat". and He has made us so flexible that we can mold ourselves to every situation. I know its very difficult to leave the one who you love the most. But when you realize that its wrong then it wont be that difficult for you. Try to enhance your love for Allah. and pray from him that he can give you courage to leave him.
Secondly, if its not possible then you can say him to accept Islam. Obviously that would be not possible for him. But if he did, it will add such a big Naiki in your account.
Otherwise, just think that Allah likes you a lot that's why he has given you that heart which is making you realize that you are on the wrong path. Be very grateful to Allah that you are not one of them for whom Allah has said "Humnay un k dilon pay mohar laga di hay k unko achay aur buray ki pehchan nahi rahi". You are blessed one. So keep your spirit up.
Jazak Allah.
Jazak Allah khairan
Thanks for the answer u have given. It has given me motivation to take the step towards getting him out of my life.
But shaitan whispers to me every time I start forgetting him. Thoughts come to my mind like he is not that bad, at least we can stay as friends and not meet in person, we can juz talk over the phone, maybe he was upset and wants to talk to me.
This is a serious matter as I can't get these thoughts out of my mind. And then I end up calling or texting him.
Ayesha ,
Simple solution for you is you just need to delete his contact number from all of your list .
Change your number .Delete your social media logins etc etc .
The repentance should be sincere that means not to conduct the sin again any time in future ..
Thanks for the solution Star but the main problem that I am facing is I have done this many times and I repent to Allah but then again I cant control myself and end up texting him.
How can I get rid of this temptation?
Have you memorized his number ? If NO then deleting will be fine but if you have memorized then you need to try to forget his number ..Remove his number from all the places where you have stored ..
Best way for you to do is keeping yourself busy in islamic activities ,Join some good islamic group or institute ..Listen to islamic videos from NET ..
Don't watch movies or serials (are you from india/pak/bangladesh?) as these will generate erotic feelings and you will end up in going back to him again ..
These things are not difficult if you follow proper Islamic teaching and stay away from all non Islamic stuff like movies ,etc etc ...
This guy will take advantage of your weakness and vulnerability and you might end up in having sex and then regret for your whole life .. And then it will be trouble if you marry Muslim guy after getting physical with this non Muslim man. ...So stop it immediately
Thanks for motivating me. I have deleted his number from all my contact lists. But today I missed him a lot. Even when I was reciting Quran and offering salah. my situation is really bad. I don't know how to get him out of my mind. I am praying to Allah to give me strength but nothing is happening
Have you committed Zina with him to get serious involved with him ?
To be frank you can forget him provided you keep your self involved in other stuff .
1) Read Quran, pray namaz and good materials in your time
2)Don't stay alone and stay in a group of good female friends ,or with a family members and keep your self busy and these memories will go away .
It is easy to forget some one when you are in a group of people compare to staying alone ..
We have seen cases where even after the death of a son , mothers recover themselves and get invloved in day to day activities so where this guy stands ..no where ..
I'm in a haram relationship since 7 month ..we chat ,make voice and video calls with each other as we are living in different cities..now i realized that this is wrong i want to end this haram relationship ..but he promised me that after completing our studies we will married after 5 or 6 years butt I don't want to continue this harram relationship for 5 or 6 years .. I don't know what to do now please help me......