Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to leave him

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Dear sir, we are newly married couple, crossed only 6 months. But I am facing lots of fights with my husband. I am working in a company as a cashier. He is also working in share marketing office, but he is earning 5 thousand less than my salary. A lot of the time he is suspecting me with my office colleagues by checking my mobile phone and my late closing.

He has no future ideas to grow our family. Sometimes his words make me attempt suicide. He said like, "I'd be happy unless I'd married you so I'm going to do another marriage". I never accept it.

I want to leave him. I think he doesn't love me now. I hate him. What should I do? Please advise.

ranjitha


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7 Responses »

  1. Ranjitha, Assalamualaikum,

    First of all: Are you and your husband Muslims? Your name suggests otherwise and there is no indcation of your religion in your post.

    However, I assume that both of you are Muslim.

    Sister, the most correct and Islamic answer to your post is: "resign from this job and look for a place where there are no men, in order to work there".

    Man is responsible to earn for himself and his wife and a woman is not required to work in Islam. She is allowed to work in halaal environments which don't involve mixing with men.

    When your current work place is unIslamic and it also causes problems between you and your husband, it is best to get rid of this job and look for halaal opportunities elsewhere. Though you are not required to work, you can do it ONLY if it does not involve what is haraam, including free mixing with males.

    When you have resigned, tell him that you love only him and wish to repair what has been damaged. Do not hate him, sister. I know he is wrong in doubting you, but the situation is such. When something is not allowed in Islam, it is for sure harmful, carries something unpleasant. You can atleast do your part in saving your marriage.

    Both husband and wife must work in this. You can do your part and trust in Allah that it will work. Also, sister, do not act in arrogance, act wisely.

    You are angry and think you hate him, but you actually love him. And he loves you, too. This is why he can not see you with another man. It is his gheerah (protective jealousy) which probably made him over-react. Understand this and love your man. He will not go for a second marriage if you show to him that you are enough to please him and your love is only for him. This may not be possible unless you change the environment you are currently working in.

    I pray that Allah Makes it easy for you.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • so she should gamble with her life by quitting her job for someone who most likely will have the same mind-set, then be stuck unemployed trying to find another job while being dependant on him...

      • sorry, i'm not trying to be rude.. i agree with you on most parts, but males generally stay the same and this sister will just fall under his total control

        • I think from what the sister has said in her post is that her husband is jealous because of her mixing with her employees (who may be both male and female) and late closings (which I completely understand because I am a cashier too for a company). If she has a job change maybe his attitude towards her may change. It is very difficult even for my family because during closing time, one can end up getting back home at 1 a.m even and it is stressful for the family because it is so late at night and it is not safe for a woman to be out this late. This can also cause some thoughts in the husband's head (such as if she is having an affair and just saying that she is closing, etc.). It is understandable if you look at it from his point of view and it seems like her job is what seems to be the highlight of the problem she has.

          I don't think she should quit working because cashiers do not get paid that much and if her husband gets paid less than her then he may need help from her just for the basic necessities. I just think that she should start looking for another job that would not put so much stress in her marriage and herself. Maybe he should also look to see if he can move up or find another job so he can fully support her and she doesn't have to work so hard. There is nothing wrong with depending on a man who is your husband and working as a cashier is not the best job in the world. But Allah always knows best and I hope it works the best for them.

        • What gamble in obeying Allah and His Messenger and looking for halal?

          It is not about earning more or less, its about living halal and respecting the laws (involving free mixing - ikhtilat), we should take that seriously. May Allah Help her, as well as her husband.

          Abu Abdul Bari
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. AOA! I would like to talk in private. I ewould like to have advice for should i go to divorce. Please help me out!

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