Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to marry her but her Istikhara was negative, what can I do?

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Asalam O Alaikum,  I live in Riyadh. I would like to ask something about Istakhara. I have a cousin, she lives in Paris. We both like each other and would like to get married as well. Recently she did an Istakhara for herself that if I am good for her Deen and future. The answer came out Negative (having a dream). She says that she likes me a lot and would be very happy with me, but she has sacrificed alot of things in her life for the sake of ALLAH and Deen and she would probably do the same this time.

A. Does this Istakhara holds any positivity?

B. Is it right to do an Istakhara without letting your parents know?

C. If i do an istakhara for this matter and it comes out positive, does it make a difference?

D. Is it right that the outcome of an Istakhara keeps changing over time?

I need advice, what shall I do, because she has not spoken to her parents or anyone within her family about the Istakhara or that she likes me . She is getting marriage proposals quite often. I just want someone to reply back as soon as possible please, as I really think that she is the one who I want to get married to and I would like to approach her parents with a marriage proposal.

Allah Hafiz Thanks & regards,

-- Brother from Riyadh


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161 Responses »

  1. Asalamu alaikum,

    Brother thx for your question, I can relate cos I was once in that situation, I also
    Did istikhara and it came out negartive I also told the brother to perform istikhara and
    Came out positive, now I've been married to the brother for 4yrs alhamdulillah I'm happily
    Married with two kids.

    So I suggest you also perform istikhara, also I did istikhara 7days straight,
    Hope everything goes well.

    Sister alisha

    • istikhara isn't something you see in a dream or perform waiting for colors to happen. it's simply a special prayer and duas to make to ask for Allah help, because shaytan can show you false things in a dream ..the feelings you get after the duas and prayer is what you should follow. you don't need to do it 7 times, these things people make up is haraam and not right..follow what prophet Muhammad said peace be up him.

      • Salaams Sister

        I would like to correct you (with all due respect) that it is not haraam for a person to read istikhara 7 times or more or even as many times as the person wishes as the Hanafi and Maliki schools of thought find it desirable to do based on an aunthentic narration whereby the the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him said; "whenever he supplicates, he repeats it thrice, and whenever he asks Allaah he repeats it thrice." [Muslim]

        The Istikhaarah prayer is legislated to seek Allaah's Help and asking Him for what is better, so if the person who performs the Istikhaarah does not feel tranquility and peace of mind, he may repeat the prayer so that he feels at ease and feels tranquility for doing something.

        Imam An-Nawawi said: "One should do what he feels comfortable in doing; therefore, he should not rely on something he feels comfortable with based on his desires before the Istikhaarah. Rather, a person who performs the Istikhaarah should give up his own choice, otherwise he does not perform the Istikhaarah to Allaah but performs the Istikhaarah to his own desires. He may not be honest in seeking the Istikhaarah and in confirming the Attributes of Knowledge and Power to Allaah. If one is sincere in praying the Istikhaarah, he declares himself lacking knowledge and power as well as (leaving) his own choice."

        To conclude, it is desirable to repeat the Istikhaarah if one does not feel comfortable and does not feel tranquility at the first place.

        Also I would like to say I am not opening up a debate rather this is based on difference of opinion and I am following which makes sense to me, which also might help in the decision of the person in need. Jazakallah

        Allah Knows best

        • Asalamoualaikoum,

          I performed namaz istikharah to decide upon whether I should move to another country to live there.

          However I dreamt that I was in a car with a guy (I had a mariage proposal with him and I declined few years ago but which might come up again) and we were going to see his house (The custom is to go and see guy's house before getting married). But I was very tensed and afraid that the wedding might not go ahead because of other issues.

          I am confused. Some people say that when you see wedding it is positive jus as white/green is positive.

          Can anyone help with these questions :
          1. Is it positive and I should move to another country?
          2. Does it mean that I shoud not move but rather settle down here?
          3. AT the same time thta there is "wedding", there is also pressure and tension. What does it mean?

          I would be very grateful if anyone can help.

          Jazak Allah

          • Salaams,

            Please read our article on the main page about istikhara. In shaa Allah that should clarify your concerns.

            -Amy
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. She must know that Istikhara is nothing more than a normal Dua in which a person prays to Allah Subhanahu Taala to guide him to reach a right decision. It is not correct to presume that in response to an Istikhara Allah gives an answer in the form of a dream. Similarly it is not necessary that a dream is seen after making an Istikhara and even though a dream is seen by the relevant person it is not an absolute answer towards a particular direction because dream is not treated in Shariah as a binding proof of something. The expected result of Istikhara is that the relevant person himself takes a decision which is good for him in this world or in the hereinafter or in both. But just as the grant of other prayers depends on certain conditions the Istikhara is subject to those conditions as well. If some of these conditions are lacking, it is not necessary that this prayer is granted.

    Second, to make an Istikhara does not mean that a person abandons all other necessary enquiries. A person must carry out all efforts necessary to reach a correct decision even after making Istikhara. If a person is content on Istikhara only and does not make the required efforts to reach the correct decision he may fall into error.

    • Mr. Amjad I appreciate your comment
      Mr. Omair must not expect any more comments after such a good advice
      Jazakallah khair

    • Asalam O Alykum
      I asked 3 sheicks and 3 friends of mines to pray esthihara for me, all 6 of them told me that the esthihara was positive but when i did it myself it came out negative. What shall i do?

      What do you think i should do?

      • After praying your Istikhara, do what your own conscience and reason tell you to do, and trust that Allah is guiding you to the best choice.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Asalaamualaikum Brother...

    I understand that after doing the research required (as Br Amjad mentioned), you decide that you want to marry this sister; then you should do Istikhara.

    Your Istikhara would be to ask Allah (SWT) to make your decision easy to accomplish - if He believes that your marriage to this sister will be good for your deen, your family and your hereafter.

    If Allah(SWT) thinks your decision is good for your deen, family and hereafter, he will make your path easy. Otherwise He(SWT) will make it difficult.

    You will see signs inshaAllah...

    • Asalam O Alaikum, . I would like to ask something (remainder of comment deleted by editor)

      • Salaams,

        Please read the articles we have on this site about istikhara for clarification on what to expect as an "answer". The links are on the main page. If you need further advice, please log in and submit your question as a separate post and we will answer it in turn, in shaa Allah.

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. aslamalaikum...i was wondering if someone can help me because im a bit confused... well theres a really good friend of mine we like eachother and want to get married, so he spoke to his sister to do istikhara about me which came out positive which wasnt about marriage it was jus about me in general.

    After a positive answer later on he spoke to his mother about me where she also done an istikhara but this time it was about marriage which came out as negative...

    We dont want to do anythin bad and weve tried alot in the past to avoid eachother so that we dont end up hurting anyone who we love i.e. family.But when i spoke to my mother and my family they are quite supportive. I jus wanted to ask as u said istikhara can change.. do u think both sides should do it? because im really confused and it will mean alot if someone can guide me or help in some way?

    thank you

    p.s. im new to this site so i dont really know how to use this site very well so i do apologise if im not suppose to be writting on here...

    • Miss_S, you already published your question here:

      http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/keep-trying-istikhar/

      And a few people left comments there. If you want more feedback from them, then add a comment yourself. No need to post your question again or comment in a different place..

    • istikhara is not a definative proof of anything, personally i think the alims dont want to get critical about it.
      But Ayatullah Khomani (deceassed leader of Shia ithnasreyah-twelvers) once said;

      if everything is good between a boy and a girls and two sides are ok , than only a person without reasoning will turn to the traditional forms of istikhara.

      I used to perform an istikhara for many things in life, the Quranic way and the tasbih way.

      Whether it comes out negative or positive, it really doesnt make a difference.
      When selecting your life partner, just make sure you study him quite well, whether he is religious, smart , educated, God fearing, fun to be with and if his/her INTERESTS match with yours.

      make sure you guys have a good written agreement and bismillah.
      That way ur marriage will never have problems. it is only by doing good research. You cant throw ur ball to Allah. Allah has already given you ilm that he has not given to angels. Only us bani-adam have it.

      utilize ur akal and seek advise of people who are knowlwdgeble.

      was salaam
      ali

  5. i m saima, I was born 18 nov 1975 early morning in lahore. my mothr name is khalida. my problem is tht i face hurdles in evry matter of life. mera koi kaam asani sey nahi hota, her kaam mein rukawat hy, rishta b nahi hota.

    i see lizards in my dream from last 5 years, due to bandish. nothing happen good easily with me. my colleauge proposed me, but now left me without telling reason, its just bcz of bandish. plz let me know through istikhara will he be able to come back and get married with me. im very much upset. his name is mahmud, mother's name shahida, he born 04 nov 1974, in lahore, dont know time of birth. plz reply my question plz.

    • Sister Saima. Next time please log in and submit your question as a draft or post. Anyway, see the question I recently answered titled, "Istikhara for marriage based on names and birth dates." Sister, please try to educate yourself about Islam. Things happen for reasons and because of choices, not because of bandish or birth dates.

      If you really want to change your life then it would be better to try to get some education. When you want to change your life circumstances, first of all ask Allah for help. We are Muslims, followers of tawheed, believers in One God; Allah is always our first refuge and our best helper.

      Secondly do your best out of your own efforts to make it change. Someone once said, "People always say that time changes things, but really you have to change them yourself." And there's another expression, "If nothing changes, nothing changes." In other words if you don't make a change in your life, then your life will not change by itself.

      Nothing will change or improve if you continue believing in superstitions like bandish, astrology and numerology. You have to change your way of thinking first of all, then you may expect to see some changes in life, Insha'Allah.

      • salamz brthr wael i thnk yuu shud stp being harsh 2 pple gts mee....bth the sisterz above were jst aking sumit nd iff yuu cnt answer it thn stp bein a mr know it all ndd yhh allah swt has sed tht iti is gud 2 ask questions sooo shuhut ur mouth

        • etty, they asked, and I answered. Sometimes an answer requires telling someone that he/she is wrong, or educating someone who does not know. I do not know it all. When I don't know the answer, I say so, or I stay silent.

        • i dont think the above brother is being harsh, critisism although may seem harsh, is important for development

  6. Asalam O Alaikum, my name haseeb, i have girlsfriend i want to marry her and she also want to marry me. but 4 days before she did an Istakhara for herself that if I am good for her Deen and future it came negative and we are confused what to do becoz we don't want to leave each other in this stage. plz tell me what to do..........

    • haseeb, don't you think that if you pray istikhara, asking Allah for His guidance, that you should accept the result? Otherwise what's the point?

      With that said, however, many people are confused about how to perform istikhara, and how to interpret the results. So I wonder what type of istikhara you performed? And how did you interpret the result as negative?

      Please read some of the articles about istikhara on this website to inform yourself, Insha'Allah.

  7. As Salaam-u-Aleikum brothers and sisters (in Islam). There is some realism in performing Istequara but I believe a divine answer is the privilege of the few – the VERY few - the Enlightened Ones! I believe Allah (SWT) speaks through our conscience and other intrinsic “tools” that facilitate a realistic decision such as the ability to reason pragmatically. Weigh the advantages vs. disadvantages, vices vs. virtues, etc. (write them down and compare); this will help you determine his/her “Suitability Ranking”. There are other more important questions you need to ask yourself besides whether you both love and respect each other, e.g., willingness to face the challenges of life as a team including whether your personal lifestyles are within the expectations and limits prescribed by Islam. Your outlook toward raising children in a conservative Islamic environment - child discipline. An understanding of and commitment toward your (future) responsibilities toward each other, your family, our community, the nation. A willingness to be humble and compromise. Where will you live? Who will be the breadwinner? Financial issues such as the family budget, etc. Maturity to distinguish between lust, desire, craving, obsession, dependency, etc. I believe these are a few issues that need to be discussed and analyzed seriously between the prospective spouses. Also solicit input from some trusted elders. Marriage is not a joy ride in a vehicle that runs on Istequara petrol. If you put it on “Automatic Pilot” relying on a dream, you’re sure to head smack on toward disaster; not just the both of you but everyone you connected with especially the children. So unless you are an Enlightened Being, I would put Istequaras (as well as Pyaar, Mohobat, Ashiqui, etc.) in the back burner and assess whether you have it in you to get along with each other and be a good example to all. This is merely my personal opinion based upon a casual study of many other couples and my THREE DIVORCES that were reliant on “positive” Istequaras running on “Automatic Cruise Control”! That’s THREE “positive” divorces!! I recall a confession my late grandfather once made while puffing on his infamous Hukka: “Beeta: Meeri shaadi aap ki daadi se, pain’sat saal ki hai. Leikin mujhe aab tack patta nahin ye kya cheez hai LOVE”. Stick jealously to your marital roles and Allah (SWT) will SURELY keep your bond secure. Inshallah. (Sorry for the long dissertation). Jazak Allah …

    • asslamum alaykum,

      so brother u mean to tell me that u did istikhara on three marriages and they all failed and that they were urs. All these three times, before marriages u performed istikhara and they were all positive and yet they failed.

      i hope i am not getting too personal, but were u the one in ending up the marriages all the three times or were the ladies at fault and left the maritial life.

    • Subahan ALLAH, i like what you, say. im suffirimg to my marriege life....

  8. Brother Waheed...You have made some very good points in your mini dissertation.

    I believe Allah always answers our duas for guidance and Istikharas, but sometimes we blind ourselves from seeing the guidance due to our lack of closeness to Allah. Allah want us to use the tools of wisdom He has given us to make decisions based on well thought out pros and cons, advice from respected elders and 'instinct' which He(swt) blesses us with. Unfortunately, often we ignore these things and then wonder why Allah is not guiding us. Allah is always guiding us...we just need to realise that Allah communicates to us in many more ways that just 'dreams'

  9. hey
    kk so i did an isthikara and saw white which is a positive but at the same time the guy i like is doing it and on the first day he saw him getting caught second day he saw dark and water
    like how come i got a positive sign and he didn't and we asked for the same thing if we should be married????????!! why !!??
    and is it because we did it at the same time ??!

  10. this one girl made istikharah it came out negative still she got married few years later some of the husbands relatives burned her alive.true story bro.doesnt mean u cud b a pain for her mayb smthng else if she does go ahead with d marriage,.

  11. Dear All,

    I will appreciate if some one help me in this trouble ...
    My mother did a istikhara related to my marriage with my cousin but it comes negative. Is there any material or Dua to come the istikhara result positive because we both like each other and she dont want to marry with any other person ...

    Regards
    MOHSIN

  12. Dear Mohsin,

    I have been researching istikhara lately to further strengthen my knowledge before I perform it myself (for the first time in my life) or from my family members or dear friends whos decisions I value and trust the most. The most crucial information I have found, including your question I will try to answer the best of my gained knowledge, is that there is no 'specific' dua to have the istikhara go 'your way' (to make istikhara positive in your favor). I too am still researching whether or not one can repeat the istikhara, after some time has passed, or not or whether I can wait until some time has passed where nothing is happening, under what circumstances or confusion (not relying on dreams or feelings of the heart) should I re-perform the istikhara, after having done it for the first 7 days, and nothing happens. I have learned that sOme people get a response sooner, some dont, I cannot say exactly, a lot of information and MISinformation lies on the internet and some people who think they know best, but are truly misguided themselves, quite unfortunate It is best to research everyones questions and comments regarding your similar issues to find the right method of istikhara and how to go about fulfilling your intent and how to remain content with the outcome.

    Please view some of Brother WAEL's postings/comments as he has given some good insight into this subject, and please view this link, it is most useful in keeping the istikhara process IN-LINE with accordance to Islam. Also, the most relevant "mini-dissertation" I have found most interesting and useful alongside Brother WAEL's views/comments that have helped give me more insight is Brother WAHEED (a few comments above). This man has had THREE (3) POSITIVE istikharas and he has been divorced thrice. His insight is useful indeed. I would definitely like to ask him of more information regarding his situation, and istikharas, how he did it, through whom, and what was done to interpret his situation, etc.. to truly understand and relate to his situation in terms of my future, my parents, and also explaining to them that not all positive istikharas end well, as I have read and known others in my life who have encountered a positive istikhara, yet things have not turned out so well. My only viewpoint is, perhaps there was some good in eyes of ALLAH (SWT) for this to occur? Forgive me Brother WAHEED if I am wrong for I do not preach, I am only speculating in a positive light. I am sure your 3 divorces were not pleasant from any angle, but I can only tihnk of that fact that if istikhara was done, all 3 times with a 'positive answer', then inshallah some good wil be stored for you in the afterlife if not this one. I ask forgiveness for I dont wish to judge, am I nobody to do that. Again, Brother WAHEED insightful life's real/true experiences resulting in 3 divorces including istikhara are something for me to think about and share with my parents before they begin to preach to me before I can learn myself. I believe I have some personal feelings involved in this matter so I have taken notice of it more than other comments/postings I have read.
    I have been through 3 experiences, through 2 different 'pious' people (so they were claimed to be) relating to/who used, I believe astronomy/astrology/numerology as a means to find the right 'MATCH' for me and my choices I had presented one-by-one. I was not aware that such things are NOT THE WAY to find your true match. This is a path of the 'lost ones' I believe, as I myself wanted to BELIEVE in this as some things came out in my favor, yet the 2 women who I had done this method through are either already married or got married after having done these proceedings and I was 'supposed' to be the one for them. Then I ask myself and others reading this, how come I am NOT with them or am not their 'designated' husband according to astrology/numerology? Because this method is flawed, it is incorrect and I urge people to stay aWAAYY from this area as it will lead to nothing but more confusion, heart-aches and grief in your life.I personally disagree in having MANY choices of wives/potential wives to choose from, as my heart does not believe in having multiple options at the same time, because Love cannot evolve in multiple situations simultaneously. How on earth can you love many at once without having really known them at all??? Sorry, not acceptable, but again this is my view and how I think, feel as a person. There may be someone else with a difference of opinion, I am sorry to upset anyone if I have. My sincerest apologies.

    Back to Istikhara and what I continue to learn right from wrong, good from bad.. please do not begin to interpret istikhara through numerology/astrology to find answers using names/birth-dates, no matter how "pious' one admits themselves to be or how much trust some people have in others whom CLAIM to have this power of predicting the future (as they are only people not angels or messengers of God!) they are surely wrong, from personal experience.
    Inshallah, you Brother MOHSIN, myself, and others seeking the right answer from ALLAH (SWT) will find what we are truly looking for, for only he can predict the true future, not anyone else.

    A little bit about myself and how I came about where I am today, researching that which i feared most, istikhara. I myself am in great conflict with my parents for the last couple of years, I have avoided istikhara, because I did not have enough knowledge, and mostly my own personal fears of loosing the women I have loved and cared for from my heart for many years, whom I have also lost to being 'blind' to many situations regarding istikhara and reality of the situation. My main reasons for failure were not having gained knowledge and insight and following my heart, which was wrong in situations, to perceive myself and others opions as being right and I did not benefit from istikhara or the potential of Allah's (SWT) guidance.

    Please, if anyone reading here has found something I have said wrong or to be incorrect in my explanations or using terms like (SWT), or if I have judged when I say I do not, I deeply apologize as I get carried away spilling my heart and soul. I openly welcome all 'corrections' and ask forgiveness from those I might have upset as I am new, not only to this forum, but to the entire subject of istikhara. I am a soldier of knowledge and still learning whole-heartedly, yet wish to abide by what I have seen some people write in respect for al-mighty God, his messengers and other seeking knowledge and information to help live and abide this lifetime.

    • Dear Micky,
      I recently got engaged to an amazing person, however we had some rocky patches after which my fiance asked her mother to keep an isthikhara for her to find out whether "we" should go on to get married. Her mother also asked an aalim to keep the isthikhara to find Divine guidance on this. Collectively, her mother's Isthikhara and the Aalims Isthikhara came out negative after which our engagement was called off.
      We are both in love with each other, and have been talking with each other to discuss and find a solution regarding the arguments that we had during the time that we were engaged. However, my ex-fiance feels that Isthikhara is binding and as such even if we wanted to get married, we really could not because the Isthikhara came out negative.
      Assuming that the Isthikhara process was correct, I needed to ask the following:
      1) Is Isthikhara really binding?
      2) Can one ignore the indications given through an Isthikhara and still have Allah's blessing? As in would it upset Allah, if someone decide to go against the signs shown through an Isthikhara.

      Would appreciate your help iin this matter.

      Regards,

      Farooq

      • Farooq, you should both feel free to ignore the mother and the "aalims" istikhara. Istikhara is something that one does for himself, not asking someone else to do it for you (especially some unrelated third party who doesn't even know you).

        Also, istikhara is not a matter of receiving "indications" or signs. It is a matter of asking Allah for guidance, then proceeding with what is in your heart, trusting that Allah is guiding you to the best outcome.

        Please read the articles about istikhara on this website (links at the top of the page).

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Thank you for your reply Wael.

          Essentially I just wanted to know whether one can go against the guidance received through an Isthikhara. Assuming that I did the Isthikhara, or my ex-fiance did the Isthikhara and it came out negative, are we bound to follow that guidance?

          Our worry is only one... we do not wish to do anything that does not have God's blessing. We both really care for each other but we do not want to take any step that would upset God.

          Having said that we both want to be with each other. Classic catch 22...

          P.S. Reading the articles that you told me to refer to. Thank you for your advice.

  13. I forgot to mention the LINK i spoke of in paragraph 2, line 2.

    Website version:
    -----------------------
    http://makkah.wordpress.com/2006/12/25/before-any-major-decision-pray-salat-ul-istikhara/

    Same link (PDF VERSION)
    -------------------------------------
    http://makkah.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/how-to-pray-salat-ul-istikhara.pdf

    Hope this helps those as it has helped me in pursuit of knowledge and situations in life.

  14. I'm not a very pious person
    But try 2 b
    I belive our religion is very logical and isn't very difficult
    My 2 year engagement broke recently just 3months prior 2 my wedding
    We both loved each other
    He wanted 2 do istikhara to be sure tht v wud b happy
    He had a. Dream which no1 cud interpret
    The his mother did it once without a dream
    Then they called in a maulvi who asked our names and our parents names
    Secong day the maulvi said the result is negative

    My heart is not at peace
    The more I read the more I feel this was wrong
    Plz help
    I'm looking 4 answers

  15. Wanted to ask do people perform istikhara for a suitable partaner for marriage?
    Cant we do istikhara for other stuff like personal stuff not related to marriage?

  16. Asalam o Alaikum!

    Firstly tell me how on earth DID you even come to know that Istakhara can be positive of negative.It is not proven from Prophet(Saw).What he said was that we shall do istakhara and then do tawakal on Allah.

    What I do is I recite 2 rakats,read the dua and pray to Allah.Then I see where my heart is titled,even if it stays neutral,I just do the task,and entrust the decision with Allah.

    It is the sufis and alims who now say that we can see green or white or red or black in dreams which is NO WHERE PROVED FROM AHADITH.

    Kindly prove me wrong,if not then forward this message to other Muslims.

    I can't rest in peace if any man,no matter how pious he is,tries to play or add things to the deen of Allah.

    Salam

    • Just a correction:

      THE PROPHET SAID TO DO ISTAKHARA,and it is implied that then we do Tawakul on Allah.

    • Ibne Iqbal, you are exactly right.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Salams, brothers and sisters,

        I have to disagree with many of you who are saying that we should not put too much emphasis on the Istikara. I have done Istikara before, and my experience is, is that we cannot find out everything about a person. There are some things we won't know, no matter how much we enquire.

        Therefore Istikara is a very good way to leave the issue on Allah and to be guided to the right decision. If we see a negative sign then we should follow it and make the appropriate decision. I also don't believe that only the truly religious or pious can get an answer, as I am not either. I am a very lax Muslim who tries to be better but has a lot of weaknesses.

    • Assalamo Alaikum.

      Ibne Iqbal said it quite right that there is no such relation of seeing green/white as positive and red/black as negative sign of doing istikhara. I have been doing istikhara since couple of months. It just not show u about the particular question which you ask ALLAH swt in this dua, but it also sometimes show you that what is going to happen the other day or in few days not only regarding about that particular matter.

      Its an humble request to all those members who ask someone other to do istikhara for them, Kindly do not believe the other person doing istikhara for u and saying positive or negative. because only you can create that strong bond with ALLAH swt with you and you alone can ask Him to do guide you to the correct path having that strong faith and believe.

      I have seen many comments here in which they said that their mothers and maulvi did istikhara for them and said to be negative and the whole relation of so many years ended up, despite the couples are still having that care, love, understanding and respect for each other.

      Kindly do istikhara yourself because if ALLAH swt wants you both to live together then he strengthen ur heart and trust that no matter whatever situation will occur ALLAH swt bless u both and will never separate you. and on the contrary, if ALLAH swt does not want you to be together then he will turn your hearts towards that what is good for u. and in both the cases ALLAH is with you and he does not do bad for his true believers.

      Ramazan Mubarak to all Muslims.

      My partner and I really need a lot of prayers. May this month of Ramzan bring all the happiness for us Ameen Sumameen.

  17. Asalam Alaikum.

    Guys i need to remove my post from this site. I just want to clear all my messages and posts.
    Please guide me on that a little. thanx.

    • Wa alaykum as-salam brother. We don't delete posts or comments once they've been published, but I will change some of the details so no one will recognize you Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  18. Assalam O Alaikum
    i had been engaged to the love of my life for two years. Everything was going wekll and v were abt to get married in 3 months. All of a sudden some really minor issues came up and the engagement was broken by the boys' side over a phone call. In a couple of days they realized that was wrong and did istikhara. He got a dream tht no1 could interpret. then is mother did it for a day and no dream them they asked a maulvi to do it. The maulvi asked our names and the names of our parents and gave the answer abt a day later tht its negative.

    The rings have not yet been returned. v both still love each other and he does belive that im rt for him for v understand each other well but his family cant go against that istikhara.

    i have left alot of proposals and opportunities for him now im 27
    i cant go back to my life
    im desperate to fix this

    plz guide me anyone

    • i always believed th6 istikhara is asking God for help and before accepting his proposal or him proposing v both prayed and cried that make this possible if it is in our favor or separate our ways which at time was easy he was leaving for dxb.
      Everything went super smoothly after tht but this was the only problem tht has left me distraught.
      i did istikhara too after tht i thought my mind would b at peace bcoz God would help me this clearly
      did it for 5 days
      no dreams but i got a gud inclination and feeling everytime
      and a solution to this problem but
      the other side still considers maulvi's istikhara valid
      plz help

  19. hi, i'm new to doing istakarah due to the fact that i have never needed to make big decisions, but now i find my self seeking knowledge as i cannot make my mind up about an individual. i would like to know is it wise to do istakarah for the purpose that i'm not sure whether i should trust him not that he has done anything to be doubtful about. is it reasonable to do istakarah to find out whether you can trust someone?

  20. Aslam u alikum ... :)
    Ummm ... i am best frends vid a guy since 5 yrs and v ended up loving ech other . V bth r sincere and know echother quite well. my guy wants me to do istkhara for us whther we vill be toghter and end up marying each other after 4 years ....

    Ummm ... My question is that can v do istkhara like 4 yrs before ? And secindly wat if i fail to see the corect msg of ALLAHS , in dis case can istkhara be perfrmed twice or thrice ???

    Plzz help me out ... plzzzzzzz :'( i love him a lot and so do he ... V dont wana lose echother just by misunderstanding the dream ... Plzzzzz help me out .. Ill really apreciate dat :)

    Thankyou ..

  21. I am already married. My husband and I have been facing many problems because he is just not able to get over my past. He was not like this when we first got together, because he knew of all my mistakes and still accepted me. It has been about a week or so that he has improved a little bit...somewhat. I would like to know how I can have istikhara done, or know how it is done. I do not know arabic, and neither can I read the arabic alphabet. Please help, I love him very much but I want to know if the results will show up negative or positive, and see what to do from there. Thanks.

  22. salam
    my name is muna,i am realy upset since last 1 month now,there is this person whom i like and i know he loves me too,there is not much chance of our marraige in future,only if Allah wills,because our families stil do not know.some times i feel like i should leave him once and for all and move on,and wait for destiny to decide my future.but we just could not leave each other when there was an other girl in between too,and i think he would go to her again,i am realy confused.he can not be with out me,but i do not wish to continue once it is confirmed that we will not be married.but i want to take this decision only if i know i am correct..i am thinking to perform istakhara to get an answer or a sign
    pleasee guide me on this.
    thankyou

  23. Assalam o Alaikum evry one!
    i want to share some thoughts with evryone. today before reading al the comments and the question here on this website, i read the istakhara prayer and the way of performing it and got to know its a dua not the compatiblity meter (like most of the people think) to show that the person i wish to marry is suitable or not. According to me the clear dintinction of what is wrong and what is right in case of marriage is mostly based on Waheed's comment that we should not be blinded by anything (not love, not any dream). ALLAH has already given us consciense to distinguish between right and wrong and mind to compare the valid points mentioned by Waheed (like can we adjust into each others life and also in each others families and can we face the difficulties of life together) for the success of marriage. i think istakhara should be done when one has the confusion (your heart and mind has a doubt in the decision not when you wish to predict about the future) of what is wrong and what is right to seek the right path if he/she wishes to do so and if someone is praying for istakhara result to come positive then he doesnt wish to seek the right path, may b he/she is blinded by love.

    and for the love issue because most of the people have this issue
    if someone think that he/she love each some girl/boy and both of them dont want to loose each other then one should realy be knowing that love is not about marrying each other its about wishing good (in long term for life) for the person you love and if someone is not suitable for the loved one (if you cant adjust with other person keeping all the factors in mind) should better accept it. (i m not saying this for people to lose hope or be depressed, change yourself and your life to be suitable for the loved one, and by changing its not only by saying i will change. 'first deserve then desire') and one last thing i want to say, we make our destiny ourselves so i totaly disagree to people saying let the destiny decide.
    i may not b correct in evrything these are just my views of the topic. may ALLAH help us all! Ameen.

  24. aslam u alikum every1 ..

    hmm ... well i did istkhara for like 7 tymes ... i didnt see dream or cudnt find any such clue in all 7 dreams .. like in my 3rd dream i saw red colour .. in 5th i saw the guy i love wearing white dress and in 7th dream i saw an animal vid red eyes who didnt harm me and just flew away ...

    IM CONFUSED DAT WAT WAS BASICALY ALLAH'S ANSWER LIKE I SAW RED , WHITE , RED ... WAT SHUD I DO :'( ???? PLZZZZ SUMONEEE REPLY TO MY POSTT .. I WOULD REALLY WANT TO HAVE FEW SUGESTIONS ...

    • A.i.b., istikhara is not about colors. Please check some of the links at the top of our website and read correct information about Salat al-Istikhara.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  25. wael i did istkhara for this purpose :

    Ummm ... i am best frends vid a guy since 5 yrs and v ended up loving ech other . V bth r sincere and know echother quite well. my guy wanted me to do istkhara for us whther we r gud fr echother ... as husband wife stuff ...
    Ummm ... My question was that can v do istkhara like 4 yrs before ? And secondly like i have done istkhara 7 tymes and yt again i fail to know the meaning .. can someone else do it for us or doing istkhara on this isue wasnt even needed ??

    im totaly cnfused and idk like seriously dat wat if we r interpretng the dream wrong and v go UNINTENTIONLY against it ... WILL ALLAH BE NARAZ OVER THIS ? :s

  26. if your istikhaarah came out wrong then dont marry that person.... i know many stories of friends who ignored negative istikhaarahs.....ones inlaws burnt her alive......ones husband became abusive.....onse husband was only using her..... etc.....

    • Haniya... Dats wat im nt geting na .. K wat i saw was dat a gud sign or not ... ?? And i dont wana make any such mistake unknowingly which ends up vid ALLAH NARAZ VID ME OR HIM ...

      And i read on a site saying k if u see colours like red blak etc that means its a negatve sign and if u see grenry and white .. Dats a gud sign ...
      And in one dream i saw hm wearing a white dress .. While in one dream i saw red eyed animal whch didnt hurt me and went away silently ... ..

      I am confused :s and i dont no wat to do :/

  27. hmm ... all i want is k bus jo bhi its best for him and me ... DAT SHUD HAPPEN :)

    THOUGH V LOVE ECHOTHER ALOT BUT WAT MATTERS THE MOST IS SEEING UR LOVED ONES HAPPY ... AND I WANA SEE HIM HAPPY TOOO ... EITHR WAY .. :)

    ANYWAYS THANKUU SO MUCH FR ADVICING ..

  28. Just one thought,

    Who changes with time, it is us and our attitude towards life and the others, what do you want to feed fear or trust?

    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  29. Assalamu Alaikum! I am about to marry someone in two months whom my parents chose for me. We both have met once in the presence of my mother, and we sometimes talk on the phone. He seems like a good guy and I like him a lot. Last night, I did Istikhara for our marriage.

    (Remainder of question deleted by Editor)

    • Walaykumsalaam Huma,

      We are not qualified to interpret dreams here. It would be better for you to speak to someone who is knowledgable and learned in Quran and Sunnah, perhaps a qualified Imam. Tell them your whole situation and they will be able to interpret your dream better inshaAllah.

      If you have any other questions, please log in a submit them as a separate post.

      Best Wishes,

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  30. Assalamalaikum,
    brothers and sisters help me out plz. I love a guy in qatar he is very sensible mature and loves me alot.

    (Remainder of question has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  31. Asalam-o-alaikum.

    I like a girl very very much and she likes me back equally. My mother asked someone to perform Istekhara which came out negative. We both really want to get married.
    If Istekhaara is repeated and it comes out negative, can it be repeated again?

    Pls help me ASAP.
    Thank you.

    • Why should you ask some third party to pray istikhara for you? Why don't you do it yourself? Also, there is no such thing as istikhara "coming out negative." It's not a pregnancy test. Please read our articles about Istikhara prayer (links at the top of the website) to get a better understanding of this important Salat.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalamualykum,

        I have read almost everyone's problem, and I have discovered that my situation is the blend of everyone.

        (Sister Farhana, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  32. if it is not working for you ..you can do a wazifa for love marriage...it is much simpler..

    (Website address deleted by Editor)

    • 'Spiritual Healer', or should I call you 'Fraudster'?

      Are you being serious? The information provided on that website does not provide information from the Quran or Sunnah. It is a major deviation.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Hello SisterZ,
        what did you find against Quran and Sunnah ?

        We are trying to help people getting married and abstain from "Zina" ?? Do you have any idea about prayers ??? All Wazaif and Taweezat are prayers in one way or another, we are fighting black magic cults in society !!

        You have 1% knowledge of Quran and Sunnah ..!

        • Ok, I shouldnt have called you a 'Fraudster', that was wrong and I apologise.

          But Brother/Sister, that website has things made up. Yes, the duas themselves may be from Quran/Sunnah, but the numbers attached with them are not. Rasool(sws) has told us how to make dua, he(sws) has given us duas to recite a specific number of times and some at certain times of the day aswell. Those things are from Quran and Sunnah and is not from the Quran and Sunnah to innovate and make things up.

          However, if you wish to believe that doing so is ok, that is your choice; but such website links will not be published on IslamicAnswers.com as we believe it against Quran and Sunnah.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • And all "Wazaif" and Taweezat are for Free..!!! FREE .....All of them "Prayers"...not "satanic verses"..( i guess) !!!! ...so get in senses ...!!

  33. Asalam O Alykum
    I asked 3 sheicks and 3 friends of mines to pray esthihara for me, all 6 of them told me that the esthihara was positive but when i did it myself it came out negative. What shall i do?

    • depends on the situation, your portrayal and the portrayal of the people you asked. usually pray again in few weeks and see outcome, if still negative then follow your outcome, but it depends on the mentioned factors.

  34. Assalamualykum,

    After reading almost everyone's problem, couldn't brought a conclusion on my problems. I like a person for the last 6 years, and for the last 6 years whenever me and my mother perform the istikhara to know whether marrying the person ( i like ) will be a good decision or not, we dont see any positive dreams. Even we took the help of an Imam of masjid by requesting him to do it for us because we thought what if we are not doing in the proper way. He did it straight for the 7days, he dream t exactly the same for the 7 days and the meaning was not positive, every-time he dreams it, he dreams that something is there lacking on the person i want to marry, what is it he dont know.

    Can you please suggest me what should i do now, should i still marry the person, or is there any other way to seek the help from Almighty. Please do reply.

    • Salam sis Farhana.
      You don't have to follow the isthihara if you don't wish to, BUT it is a suhhestions from God. I would say spend some time away from the brother, see what happens if your feelings are still the same for him then make your descision.

      • Jajak Allah for the advice.

      • @muslim,
        Aslamo alaykum,
        Istikhara is a last resort or is percieved as so in the current times, yet whoever so prays does so with the knowledge that they are asking Allah to guide them in their decisions. now as with anything when you ask a question it can have the very least of 2 outcomes, which are normally yes/no but can be anything, and before you ask one must be ready to accept that the answer many not be to their liking. Istikhara is the same as asking a question to a person, only you are asking Allah for guidance, and are ready to follow the outcome of he who knows best, so if your not ready to accept the outcome or want to argue, then dont pray istikhara, because esentially you are being ignorant by ignoring the guidance of Allah, and continuing in your own right, the outcome we may not like but it is best for us, as decided by Allah, and we should respect this, yes it does not have to be accepted, but it seems ignorant to ask Allah for guidance and then shun it because its not favourable and continue with out pursuits.

        That was to clarify your point, so that readers dont read your post and take the value of istikhara lightly.
        In response to sister Farhana i would suggest that you part from the brother and pray to Allah to bring to you a worthy man, however you can also pray and ask Allah to show you that fault or ask Allah to clear this man of this fault and let him be your husband, pray for this through dua for 40days and on the last day pray istikhara, if the outcome is now positive, then Allah has cleared this man of his ailment and he is now worthy of you, if its negative, then sister accept and move on, asking Allah to guide you and bring you a good man.

        Hope this helps, may Allah guide you and help you in your matter insha'Allah.

        • Jajak Allah for your extensive explanation and the advice but the surprising factor is when i asked the person i want to marry to perform istikhara , he sees everything positive, he dont see any negative dream, what meaning should i bring out of it, that he is not the right person for me but i might be the right person for him?????

  35. I did...and i didnt told him to perform istikhara but i said u can do it by urself if u want to, so he did it and replied me.

    • That is confusing certainly, but one should follow their own istikhara, but as i said before pray that this ailment is removed from him, certainly if you do istikhara after that and its positive then your have result, but pray with good intentions, so when you make dua to Allah for this man to be right for you, make dua on the changes you will make after marriage, like you both will become closer to Allah, you will read quran more, in this case you really want to marry this man, but why should Allah clear him of this ailment/lack of something, so make promises that you will keep and insha'Allah your istikhara may well change, because if we do something Allah willing then it is better and we are asking Allah for help and we promise to be more closer to him, its not a bargain tool, but its commitment for something and submittance to Allah.

      Hope that made sense, if not let me know i will explain more, let us know how you get on or if you need more advice.

      • Jajak Allah brother kelvenater for your reply. From the very beginning I never had that craze or intention to elope or go against of my parents and get married. After doing instikhara for the last 6 years, I found the dream never changed from my side, I kept on seeing, after marrying him I got widow, i tried explaining the dream to him many times but recently the meaning of his dreams are like, after marriage i will be missing, wat i came to the conclusion is, consequences wont be good if we got married, because I have been asking help from Almighty for 6 years. When something is not good for me, how come Almighty give it to me.

        If you had anymore suggestion please do share. Thanking everyone for all of ur advice and support.

        • masha'Allah sister your strength and belief is strong, and the fact that you done istikhara for 6 years and same outcome, then sister you have no other choice than to accept he is not right for you, and noting the outcome it does not look very good, but have faith move on from this man keep praying and asking Allah to find you a worthy man insha'Allah.

          And your second point abot why Allah would give you something that is not good, everything is a test and shaytan always has a hand in matters, and the biggest test is giving up our wordly desires to serve and follow Allah, so you may think you are losing something good in this man, but in the future Allah may bring a man into your life who will make your incredibly happy, and for that you will be ever grateful.

          Keep faith in Allah, keep praying and the right man will come, your love and respect for your parents and Allah is evident, and with such a quality i am sure you will get rewarded with a worthy husband insha'Allah.

  36. Waqas,

    You must do istikhara yourself, NOT give the names to another person and ask them to do it for you. Please see this link for information on Istikhara Salaah. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/salat-al-istikhara-the-guidance-prayer/

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  37. the problem is people not knowing how to interpret istikherrah or dreams. A true dream of Allah ..will give a clear and definitive answer. you will wake up with an assurance in your heart about your decision. I have made istikherrah and gotten a dream later on...and wallahi they have came to exsitence..but all times I woke up knwing in my heart with no doubt about the situation..dreams of Allah are not about colors ect..they are about assurance. There is no where in any story of a phrophet where they read colors to determine the way.,..so why would we. A true dream and sign come with true interpretations..becareful of people that say they can read dreams and be careful about the information that you can read on it. The only reason I trust the dreams that Allah subhannu wa tala have given me ( and I dream nightly...and yet I have only experienced mabe 5 or 6 of the dreams of Allah) is that I have seen it happen...seen them come true..we must make sure our intentions are pure towards Allah and the situations . Allah ma3ak

  38. Also ...if you rely on other people to do the istikherrah be careful..you do now know what really is in the heart of another person .

  39. assalamualaikum,

    i am posting this comment with the hope that i will get an answer to my question..

    (Remainder of comment deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

    • Muslimah,

      My short answer is this:

      You said: 'i abide by his strict rules because i know he loves me so much.'
      Allah loves you more and you are supposed to abide by His Rules, not by the rules of His creation. The rules you are obeying are going against your Lord, because its is forbidden to have a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.

      You also said: 'i decided many times to do istikhara.'
      There is no sense in doing istikhara about something that is clearly haraam. You should part from him and if you want to be with him, then settle for nothing less than marriage. Although he does not sound like marriage material to me.

      ***

      For a more detailed reply, please log in and submit your question as a separate post.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  40. Asalamualaikum evryone...

    i have been in a relation with a guy for 4 yrs..and we were in a serious relationship he even proposed to marry me.. last week i come to know he was going on with his cousin sister for about a month..and breaks up with me, but interestingly the next day itself ( i mean right after the breakup) he comes back to me and appologizes for what he has done and wants be back .. he feels guilty and he regrets for whatever he has done..

    now i am confused..because i do wana offer ishtakhara but not sure if i should..coz some of u say its not that important but for some it is.. and i love him a lot..i wana give him another chance..

    pleasee pleasee pleasee help mee...it is very very important for me...

    WAITING FOR A SATISFACTORY REPLY EAGERLY

  41. how do i log in ?

  42. i think you leave her don,t waste your time

  43. assalamalekum

    i am a muslim girl , 24 years old... i am in the greatest misery of my life.

    (Remainder of comment has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, and give us more details about the situation. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  44. Assalamu allykum brothers and sisters help me out..i want to post question and i can't get password

  45. I have a post regarding my own experience and what i am currently going through not sure to what avail will come from by posting it online but here goes,

    i was in discussions with a girl regarding marriage and we got on really well initially i was not sure but none the less i agreed to get to know one another, we got on really well and decided to go for it. she had 1 condition that due to her work and me being in between jobs and she was living in a more islamic friiendly area of the UK i would move to her area - which i agreed on the premise it would improve our future and islamic lives.

    so we both informed our parents of each other and my parents were happy enough and so were hers as far as i could tell.

    i prayed my istikhaara i did not get ayn clear indication but as the dua is a prayer for guidance i made a decision and said yes, when the girl prayed hers she said she felt there was some negativity but wasnt sure she felt like other factors in her life were making her think negative but she went ahead with it.

    Some time has passed in between and there has been delays due to family bereavements etc etc but now she has got back to me and said she doesnt have that 'feeling' for me which as you can imagine isnt the nicest thing to hear after a few months but she hasnt said no....yet but i can see it happening just have to be prepared its very difficult though due to making plans in the intervening months about how the move would go and searching for jobs etc etc.

    i think i am just using this platform to get this off my mind and maybe someone might read and been through the exact same thing - i guess you should never rely on a person only Allah SWT I may be using this reference incorrectly but in surah baqarah verse 2:16 it says "But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not."

    • I myself went through something similar but I had the negative feeling early on and a lot of uncertainty so I continued doing Istikhaarah and it didn't happen. So it obviously was not good for me, Alhumdulilah. Understandably, it's difficult when you get on well with someone, and they seem suitable and it doesn't work but Allah is the Best of Planners, so trust in Him and He will give you whats best brother. Try not to make any big plans in the meantime. Please do log in and submit this as a post so we can advise you further InshaAllah. (I have left this post for a while so you can copy and paste it in!)
      Sara
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  46. i have almost having a same problem.. i love someone and we both want to marry , he did istakhara and it came negative i tried 2 times but i did not see anything.our hearts are not in peace i dont know what to do he said we should not go againts the Allah's decission.. i dn want to lose him .. is there any help ?

    • If his Istikhaarah showed negative results, why on earth does he want to marry you? Istikhaarah is done to ask Allah whether a decision is good for you or not. If one would not go by the result, then what is the point in asking?

      If his Istikhaarah was negative, you should respect it and the decision of Allah and move on.

      If you want further advise; please login and submit your post separately.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • dreams are all important ? wht about our consent ? i mean we have decided not to marry after his istkhara came negative but we still don not have peace in heart and mind ,,, it hurts every minute.. i perform nawafil recite surahs for peace of mind but it does not help to change ma mind .. now i av decided that i ll never marry because i can not even think about some one else ... i wish there could be a way ...

  47. Hello everyone
    i'm really confused and don't know what to do so please advice me and thank you in advance, i have a boyfriend and we know each others for about one and a half year i love him more than everything else in this world and he also does but three days ago he came and told me that he can not marry me because he still a long way and he do not think in marriage even after 10 years, i really don't know what to do because the problem is that he says that he loves me so if someone loves another person how can just let it go. i wanna do an istikhara but i'm afraid that it comes out negative because i really want to be with him for ever pls guys help me.
    Thank you

    • Sounds suspicious to me, Habiba. My gut says that he his hiding something from you. Perhaps he is already married, or he knows his parents will not agree to him marrying you for whatever reason. For him to say that he does not think of marriage after 10 years makes no sense. This is why we do not get involved in pre-marital relationships in Islam. We don't have boyfriends and girlfriends because it frequently leads to manipulation, abuse or heartache. If you need detailed advice then please log in, write your question as a separate post, and give us more information.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  48. Thank you Wael
    but i have already asked him about all these suspecions and even about his family and he said that is the not the problem, he thinks that he doesn't know what will happen with him because he still studying and he doesn't knw if he will be able in the future to get married but for me that doesn't make any sense cause we don't know what the future hides for us also he said he don't wanna be responsible if i didn't marry and stay waiting fr him i really don't know what to do because i love him so much and i can't imagine my life with another one

    • 1) Islam does not allow a boy friend-girl friend relationship.

      2) does he really love you?

      3) what will you do if you waited for him for 10 years and he says i can not marry you? will you be able to bear that.

      4) stop communicating with him. tell him that if he wants to marry you then to come through proper doors that is, ask him to come and speak with your father that he wants to marry you.

      You can ruin your life if you continue in a haraam relationship . Allah knows best.

      fear Allah.
      Start becoming a practicing Muslim. Dont you see so many stories in this website itself who have lost a lot just being in a haraam relationship. ???
      _____________________

      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

    • Can you imagine life in grave? In hereafter? Over there you will be by yourself you won't be with anyone els except stand in front of Allah with your deeds. Think about that then decide weather this man really worth it for you after all his explanation about marrying you..... 

      Sorry if I sound rude but that's reality sister..... You still have time do not wait for him 10yrs it's not a joke you may fall into many sins with him if you both don't get married but unfortunately he is not willing to marry you the word  "love. It's not love it's whisper from shaytan. Tuen to Allah before Its too late ask for his forgiveness love Allah. love Allah and say that "I cannot imagine my life without Allah" it's Allah who gave you life and will take.

  49. i can not found my love

  50. AssalamOalaikum

    I'm doing istikhara, its going to be fifth night but still didn't get any indication. I know one should not lose hope till the end, will complete the seven day period of istikhara and but i have question to ask...what if I don't remember dream or don't see any, so in that case what should I do..??
    And one more thing I tried to read all the article but couldn't find the answer of...

    B. Is it right to do an Istakhara without letting your parents know?

    Jazak Allah Khair

    • @ -Brother from Riyadh , mzd - Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.
      mzd - Wa Antum Fa Jazakumullahu khairan

      Question 10 (a): ’What should the one making istikhaara[1] prayer say if he has two affairs on the same level and does not have an inclination toward either one, meaning 50-50?’

      Shaykh al-Albaani (rahimahullaah) : ‘What I understand from your question is that he does not have an intention (to do something)[2], therefore there is no istikhaara prayer upon him.’

      Question 10 (a): ‘Is the istikhaara prayer legislated for one who is confused about doing something or is it legislated for one who has made up his mind to do so?’

      Shaykh al-Albaani : ‘No, the istikhaara prayer does not remove confusion. Istikhaara prayer is (done) after a person has made up his mind to do something; so here, you perform istikhaara. Istikhaara prayer is not legislated for removing doubt and uncertainty regarding a matter which the Muslim has not made up his mind about.’

      Question 5 (b): ‘Is the du’aa (supplication) of istikhaara prayer before the tasleem or after it?’
      Shaykh al-Albaani : ‘After the tasleem’

      Question 12 (c): ‘Is it allowed to repeat the istikhaara prayer?’

      Shaykh al-Albaani : ‘It is allowed if his istikhaara prayer was not (performed in the way in which it is) legislated, and it is enough for it to be not legislated that he makes istikhaara to his Lord by (merely) his words, and not by his heart. And he himself is aware of this inattentiveness, so then he is forced to repeat (the istikhaara prayer). As for if he himself did not feel any of that, then he has innovated (if he repeats it).”
      __________________________________
      [1] Istikhaara means to seek (from Allaah) that which is best regarding something

      [2] This is in reference to the actual wording of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: “If one of you intends to do something, then let him pray two ra’kah, then say [the du’aa of istikhaara]”; Saheeh al-Bukhaari #6382

      Source: Silsilat ul-Hudaa wan Noor – The Series of Guidance and Light -tape no. 206 (a), tape no. 664 (b), tape no. 426 (c)

      _________________
      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  51. Assalamualykum, please reply me asap please.
    I have a very serious matter to ask. I am divorced and I have a 3 year old daughter. I don’t want to get married again but then after see my daughter I keep realizing that she needs a father in her life, because her own father left us when she was only 6 days old and never came back in her life. So I finally decide to get married again, then this person approaches me and propose me. I spoke to him for 5 months and it seems like a very nice person. Then he did the istikhara and he told me that it come good Allhumdullah. Then I decide to do it on my own, and I follow the steps how to perform Istikhara. My believe is if you feel satisfied feeling it means yes and if you had unsatisfied feeling or it feels like that some thin is not right then it means No. So when I did my istikhara I feel satisfied inside my heart. Then I ask one imam to do it for me, that person asked me our names, month of birth, and our mothers name. Then he called me and said it doesn’t come that great, now I am confused what I should do. Can I do Istikhara again and if I get same feeling then it means yes. I want Allah subhana talla to guide me for this and I am willing what Allah will decide for me. I have no issue to back off if that’s what Allah Subhana talla wants. But at the same time I don’t want to lose a good person just because that imam said it didn’t come great.
    Please advise me what I should do.
    Jazak Allah Khair.

    • Simmi, your first belief was correct. Istikhara is guidance from Allah and it might express itself as a feeling of satisfaction or contentment in your heart, exactly as you said. Go ahead and follow your own Istikhara.

      What the so-called Imam did was false and wrong. Istikhara is not based on names and dates. That is an un-Islamic shirk practice related to Hindu numerology and astrology. That Imam is misguided and you should ignore whatever he told you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  52. Asalam.o.alaikum brother.

    • huda, I deleted the rest of your comment. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  53. Salamz frnds I m very much tensed actually I love my cousin n he also love me but I asked many people to perform istakhara for me as the did the answer was negitive ... I didnt do it by myself im scared if the anwer will negitive wat will I do... can u plzzzz tell me if the Isthikhara anwer comeout negitive wat will we do...?? Waitin foe ur knd answr thnx alot

  54. Asslam o alikum
    i want ask that..if istkhara show negative indication but person's want same purpose,by thinking this dua can change any thing so just beleif on Allah,if today istkhara is negative may it become positive for me for same thing after my dua???
    I am afraid of doing istkhara that may it result in negativ but same time i tkink may it become positive after my duas.... i am confuzed ,advice me...suggest me what to do????

  55. asalam waleikum. m 20 last year i was in love with a guy but my parents ddnt accept my love .they chose me a guy n they got me engjd (deleted)

    Please log in and submit your question as a separate post.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  56. aslamualikum!
    my name is komal. and i m a student. my cousin likes me from 10 years but he not told me ... at 5th january 2013 he told me and i also like him now.. we want to get marry. i said to him that u do ur work and i complete my eduaction then we will marry INSHALLAH. he said i want to do istkhara . i was not agree to do istkhara but he done it by some one... and our marriage istkhara comes negative. we can,t live with out each other. every thing was going good . he is not present in my city. he told me from Faisalabad. that istkhara got negative... i m now scared so much... we want to get marry.. now is there any limitation in islam??? can we will marry???..his family members know every thing that he likes me and they are agree .i did not tell my family members but i know if i tell them then they wil agree INSHALLAH... now plz respected brothers/sisters give me responses in the light of islam i m so upset plz help me and tell me what i do??? now can i get marry??? should i do istkhara my self??? plz give me response immediately . jzaakALLAH

    • Please read the links on istikhara. Istikhara should be done by the people making the choice, not by some random person who has nothing to do with you. Ignore the istikhara by the 'someone' and do it yourselves. Tell your families and take it from there.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • if i think that istkhara will be negative. and i cant bear it. so shall i still do istkhara???

        • the whole situation is that the istkhara for my marriage is done by some one else... and i know that no one do better then my self.. but the problem is that my cousin think its end know... plz guide me

  57. Hi all,
    Please I need ur guidance if anybody can help me out ....

    • hina, I removed the rest of your comment. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  58. assalam o alaikum, I got a proposal and same day i did istekhara...

  59. Hi I am asking for help I have been in a relationship for nearly 2years we are both in love with eachother even though it is haram we have tried on so many occasions to break up as we are from different backgrounds and our parents will not accept it. We love each other so much and want to get married but feel guilty for going behind our parents backs and we both fear Allah. We have cut all contact from each other but it is killing me and i am sure he's feeling the same. I always get bad nightmares so will praying istikhara affect it? How will i know?

  60. i wanna ask u i love some one nd he also loves me but her mother iz not agreeing

    [Rest of comment removed by editor. Please read the advice already given; if you require further advice please submit a your question as a new post - it will be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah. If you submit a new post, please include details of your situation so that readers can advise your specific circumstances.]

  61. Assalam-o-Alaikum
    My parents received a proposal for me lately. They got him checked and the feedback so far has been very good. My parents asked me to do an Istekhara that i did, though i didnot have a dream but the feeling of confusion and restlessness was felt. I shared this with my parents and they asked me to repeat the Istikhara and now for some odd reason i suddenly feel very against it, all i feel is a big NO in my heart. However, everybody is of the opinion that i should go for this proposal, i didnot feel any repulsion towards this proposal at first but the feeling now just keeps on getting stronger. If you could please tell me what does this mean?

  62. assalamualikum all brothers and sisters..
    this is IRSHAD i was in love and wants to marry her so b4 dat i said her to do istikara and she did and she got positive answer and den she asked me to do istikara because our families were unknown to eachother how to began the process she asked me to do the istikara and that was my 1st time so i did i was getting all negative type dreams in that 7 days but on the 4th day i went to meet AALIM sahab and said him my situation and about the dreams then he said me dreams are not important and said to me continue it for 7 days either your heart will divert to positive or negative .... and if it is in favour frm ALLAH than your work will start soon orelse if it is not in ur favour frm ALLAH then the situation automatic start going reverse ................................
    and alhumdulilla i didnt concentrated on dreams and continued for 7 days and alhumdulilla on the very next day frm the completion of my istikara my work was started and thnigs were happend which were out of my mind and im vry much thankfull to ALLAH ...
    so just what i mean to say is dnt concentrate much on dreams just do process of istikara in the correct way and leave it on ALLAH definatly if it is good for u den it vl happen by itself orelse it vl go in reverse at dat time u hve to take the decision .
    sorry if had said smthng wrng regarding istikara but this is my personal exprience

  63. Salaam to all brothers and sisters.
    I am doing something which i know is purely haraam and I'm finding it very difficult to let go. I love someone with all my heart and so does he. But i am also on the verge of getting a divorce as i suffered badly with his bad addictions for 14 years. The person i am in love with cannot marry me as his parents will never agree to this as i also have children from my ex. What is the best thing to do? Please help me? I need help?

    • You must break off contact with this lover of yours permanently. First of all, you are a married woman and are committing a sin by having a relationship with this other man. Secondly, you have just said that he will not marry you, so even if you were divorced there would be no point to this relationship. Bite the bullet, as they say, and end it.

      If you need further advice please log in and write your question as a separate post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • As-Salam-o-AlikumI want to get marry and I love somome we decided to do istekhara we didnt tell our families we frst decided to do istekhara and then we'll take any step accordinglyNd we done istekhara saw a white goat Slaughtered but theres no blood...and eating a chocolate cake . wht does that meanthanksssmay Allah bless u

  64. assalm o alikum
    i have an issue and i am 2 much confused.
    the issue is that i am interested in a boy but is unaware from my feelings .being a girl, i can never propose him bt i love him a lot.
    but i have make istkhara and i am v v v happy that it is positive .
    now i am confused that what i should do???
    should i wait that he will come and purpose me ???
    bez i have made almost 2, 3 time istkhara and its positive.

    • guriya, you should talk to your parents and ask them to contact the boy's parents and invite a proposal.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • assalamualikum guriya , it vl b good if u share it vt ur mom if u cant den it vl b better u should tlk to ur frnd and take her help and try to share ur feeling vt dat boy through ur frnd ... who knws may b he 2 have feelings for u and hesitating to share vt u .... alhumdulilla u did istikara so in sha Allah if he is in ur fate den he vl b urs ... may Allah keep khair in ur relationship and unite u guys soon ameen and tc

  65. Aoa!

    I want to ask you something that a scholar performed me an istikhara for my marriage proposal by the demand of my mom (but i already had no interest in this proposal) and that came out to be a POSITIVE one but i am seriously not willing to get married to that guy cz i am interested in another guy and we are ready to get married even and have strong bonding and understandings from so many years and we don't want to loose each other being true lovers..Now he wants me to only marry him and not another guy, so i wanted to ask you that can i divert from that POSITIVE istikhara cz we love each other a lot ?

    help me what should i do?

  66. I love some one he is lawyer he show some interest in but not proper
    Someone did istikhara on my behave but that was negative but u love him
    Very much I want marry him in any case plz do pray for me
    He is not willing why I dont I want marry coz he is my need plz do some thing sent some dua
    I get place in his heart and life for ever

    • Salaams,

      If he told you he doesn't want to marry you, accept it. Usually when people have decided they are not inclined to someone it's not going to change. Not everyone is mutually compatible.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  67. ...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  68. Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters
    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

    • Assalamualaykum Brothers and Sisiter

      I want to marry a girl,who is loving me very much,i told the 2 guy to do ishtikhara but the results came Negative ,so what i can Do????
      I don't want to leave her as well i don't want to Dissapoint the Almighty Allah who is the sustainer of this entire world....so,brothers and sisters plz plz plz plz plz plz help me and suggest me want we can dofor this Situation???

      • Assalaamualaikam

        Do istikhara yourself - don't get other people to do it for you. Please read the information available on this site about how to do istikhara.

        In future, if you need advice, please follow the site rules and submit a new post for publication rather than making repeated comments. We have many people asking for advice, and a waiting list of posts for publication, and it is unfair for people to try to jump the queue. If you are unsure how to submit a post, please read the articles on the drop-down menu "Submit your question".

        Midnightmoon
        IslamicAnswers.com editor

        • As-Salam-o-AlikumI want to get marry and I love somome we decided to do istekhara we didnt tell our families we frst decided to do istekhara and then we'll take any step accordingly Nd we done istekhara saw a white goat Slaughtered but theres no blood...and also saw a chocolate cake eating . wht does that mean

  69. i am waiting for your suggestions please

  70. As-Salam-o-Alikum

    I want to get marry and I love somome we decided to do istekhara we didnt tell our families we frst decided to do istekhara and then we'll take any step accordingly

    Nd we done istekhara saw a white goat Slaughtered but theres no blood.and Also saw a eating a chocolate cake and then going for a prayer... wht does that mean

    thanksss

    may Allah bless u

    • Plzzz I need answers

      ........

      • Please talk to your parents and let the man approach them in the appropriate Islamic way, and then from there you could learn to do the istikhara again in the correct way--in the correct way of istikhara you do not expect any dreams.

        Please check the istikhara section above to learn more.

        • I told my brother .. hes married he said before asking father do istekhara ... so we have done now before taking further step I just wanna know what does tht dream mean... I know istekhara is not only about dream bt we feel positive .... what do you think

          • Only Allah knows best the meaning of your dream, however, it is clear that something is not being handled in the correct way, so before taking any further step, please step aside first, and then let your brother investigate the man's deen and character thoroughly. If everything is alright after the investigation, then let him approach your parents in the appropriate Islamic way, and if possible perform the istikhara again.

            The procedure for istikhara, is best described by the sahih hadith below. Please confirm if it matches with the istikhara you performed:

            On the authority of Jaabir Ibn ˜Abdullah he said: The Prophet (S) would instruct us to pray for guidance in all of our concerns, just as he would teach us a chapter from the Qur'an. He (S) would say "if any of you intends to undertake a mater then let him pray two supererogatory units (two rak'ah naafilah) of prayer and after which he should supplicate:

            'O Allaah, I seek Your counsel by Your knowledge and by Your power I seek strength and I ask You from Your immense favour, for verily You are able while I am not and verily You know while I do not and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allaah, if You know this affair -and here he mentions his need- to be good for me in relation to my religion, my life, and end, then decree and facilitate it for me, and bless me with it, and if You know this affair to be ill for me towards my religion, my life, and end, then remove it from me and remove me from it , and decree for me what is good wherever it be and make me satisfied with such.'"
            (Bukhari)

  71. Sorry!! But u didnt get my point ... but we will do istekhara so my next question is we both have to do istekhara or only I have to do...
    we will tell our familes soon inshaAllah ... and then they will decide ...
    we will also tryin our best...
    and thanks for helping I found this website quite good for those people who really need help.... yur helping people thats really good
    in a right way...
    May Allah bless you....

  72. salam.. I want my marriage perposal istkhara.. Plz plz plz can any body help me for istkhara??? I dont know how to do istkhara... Plz tell me

  73. Thanx alot dear...

  74. I am engaged with my cousin m.hussain an his mother name i bilques istikhara before engagment has a positive ans but one of the muakkil said that this relationship is nt well and have a negative istikhara ans plz do istikhara for me and plz give me some wazifa i shall b thankful to you

    • marya, Salat-al-Istikhara has nothing to do with mother's names or birth dates. It is a prayer that you should perform for yourself. Is is itself a type of dua', which is how we call upon Allah in Islam - not through the use of so-called wazifas. Please read our articles on Istikhara and Wazifa (links at the top of the page) and educate yourself about this subject.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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