I work hard to support family financially while husband does nothing
Dear Mr. Wael, and brothers and sisters in islam,
I got married to a man i didn't knew him before,. it was arranged marriage by. my sister she. knew his brother whom they were in love they got married and i married to my sister husband's. brother as they told me he is good muslim praying and stuff. we made together wedding last year in june 2007.
my sister is ok as they love each other her and the husband and spoke about their issues before got married..
me from 1st month of marriage had problems because step by step had to find out many things which i was not told or my sister and her husband told other things to me (about his education back ground etc). i agree when we married to help in house wz money untill he will get a new job a better one, he hardly try to find one as i make the flat full with my furniture in it. i brought my furniture as he didn't have money to buy, and. in top of. that i start to put. all my salary in the home and sending money to my family or "his family" back home,. as his father was sick or his brother need it for school.
I stopped to put money now for 2 months in the house and told him he is the man. I think I . helped long enough. I got also family to look after mother and father as we are only 2 me and my sister. she is the youngest so i feel i got some responsability on their side as well.. so my husband told me if i do not help with money in the house not to work anymore coz I am wasting his time (but when I was giving all the money at home buying clothes, food, paying for rent for 6 months in this marriage), so. I told him i need to save money for my self or for my kids to come. and help my family as well. He said no if you do not help anymore do not go work (HE repeat this several times).
And also i wanted to tell u that he divorced me 2 times in 6 months, once was when after 3 months of marriage. I found out that he has loan in the bank which. I did not know about it (while I was paying everything He didn't have. guts to tell me this).. How my life would be safe anymore?? Every time if. I ask something or I want to know about. any plans for future he never ever discuss or take my opinion he said I am the Man I know what I am. doing.
Please do advise: he wants me to blindly. pay everthing, work 12 hrs shifts because. I work in the airport, not have the right to ask anything if he wants. to get any decision he just goes ahead (about anything never. ever tell me even) after it happends it's telling me. Not telling me if he goes anywhere, where ever he goes never call me and tell me while I am working do hard. So he prefers me. not to have any money, if I do not give anythingto be at. home, (Newly) depend on him and later on i will be in street if he divorce for 3rd time.
I am sorry can not do this to myself!! I better be divorce than have a kid and suffer while I must be his what??!! Is this supposed to be islam??? Is it . in Islam for man to ask money from his wife??. And put conditions this way? I payed the rent for 6 months. I bought food, clothes for me and him. and evertyhing at home, from spoons to the. 2 bedroom flat including the furniture.. What u think of that Mr. Wael? and what is ur advice?
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