Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m Muslim, he’s Christian & we are in love, but do not know how to work the religious difference

I am a Muslim girl and my boyfriend is a Christian.

mosque and church in Beirut %photo

A Masjid and a Church in Beirut

We are madly in love, but we do not know how to work the religious difference and we really dont want to part because we are willing to take the relationship further.

What should I do?


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46 Responses »

  1. Assalamu alaikum sister,
    First and foremost you must understand that "boyfriend and girlfriend" is not allowed in Islam. This is completely prohibited and an act of the utmost disobedience to Allah. So the first step to "take this further" is to stop seeing him completely. Second, A muslim woman cannot marry a non muslim man so in order to "take this further" he must accept Islam as his complete way of life. If not, he becomes prohibited for you. Last but not least it sounds from the fact that you two were "boyfriend and girlfriend" that you still are quite young. Does your father know that his daughter has a boyfriend? I think that if you really want to consider taking this further with this christian fellow that you give him inormation about this beautiful deen of Islam. Then tell your father that there is someone you are interested in marrying. Wa Allahu Alam.

  2. Dear Sister, As-salamu alaykum,

    There is no way to "work" the difference. A Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man. If he accepts Islam wholeheartedly then you can marry him. Otherwise, there is no future between the two of you.

    You should not have gotten involved with him in the first place. I hope other Muslims will be warned and don't get involved in these types of haram situations.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • As salamu alaykum, dear Mumud,

      I do agree with Wael, this kind of relationship only brings deep suffering and not just for the couple, once they have children, they are the main sufferers.

      You just said it "madly in love", that is the first step for suffering, I am sorry to tell you this but this kind of love is infatuation, is not real love, and when you are at the point to go further, scares me, do you realized how much you can loose with this relationship?

      Please, think about it and be honest between you two, this will affect both of your roots and after the infatuation is gone, lots of suffering will come.

      All my Unconditional Respect and Love,

      María

  3. i have the same problem ,, but i don't think we even wanna be taking this to the next step .. we just want to stay together ,, his parents don't want us to talk or see each other any more , he cant take the car to come see me , he cant even go see his friends ,,
    and what's making me go crazy that hes a big boy ,, i mean hes 21 and cant say no
    he loves his parents so much ,, and he loves me 2
    but it's because he's in college and it's his last semester and if he say no to his parents they will not pay ,, and they will kick him out of the house ,
    so we have just one thing we can try ,, so maybe his parents will be okay with us staying together .
    he's going to tell them who i am because am part christian ,, my mom is christian and my grandma is from there same family and she's christian ,, and my other grandma is also christian it's just my dad he's the muslim ,, and am going to become a christian
    so maybe they will say okay
    i just wanted to share my story ,
    i don't care about anyone ,, and i don't care about what will people think or say ,, mind your own business

    and i wish you luck , and i hope every thing will workout okay :)

    • "same here", I'm sorry for you that your faith means so little to you that you would throw it away for a boy. Obviously you were never raised properly as a Muslim or taught the meaning and value of "Laa ilaha il-Allah." You can't be half Muslim or half Christian. They are not genetic traits that you inherit. They are faiths that you choose, and beliefs that you adhere to. Your faith in Allah - if you have it - is the most precious thing in life. It is a gift that Allah gave you, and a test. If you don't respect your faith and fulfill its rights, then you have truly lost.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • As salamu alaykum, same here,

      You do care about people´s thoughts and opinions because that is the only thing that is moving you to become christian, not your faith or your beliefs, it is the way you think others will receive you or accept you, then you care deeply about others but not for the right reasons.

      You think you are already a grown up woman, act like that then, study both religions and get involved in both of them if your Heart allouds you to do it and then take a decision as a woman, with consciousness of what you are doing,...Build yourself up in right values, this was something your family had to do with you while you were growing up, it is not your fault that noone taught you the Straight Path, but from now on will be your responsibility because I am awakening you to your Responsibility as a spiritual human being and specially as muslim.

      To leave home with a man is not a way to solve problems, to go a step more without knowing what you are risking neither, ...you have lot of things to learn, take your time to become the woman you are called to be, insha´Allah.

      You are plenty of energy, give yourself the opportunity of flourishing all the Beauty and Wisdom that you have in your Heart, Insha´Allah.

      All my Unconditional Love and Respect,

      María

  4. God created love, not religion. We humans created religion. Christians and Muslims worship the same God. But they have different views about religion. That's all. If you're sure that you really love him and he really loves you, then go for it and marry each other. And its better for kids, because unlike other kids, they'll have a chance to choose their religion! The parents are the only problem. Its not that their opinion matters but its because they're the ones who raised us and scarified for us all these years .. that's why we have to respect what they say. I don't know how to solve this parents problem because Am going through the same thing. Good luck <3

    • Reem, this is not correct. Allah says in the Quran, "Surely the religion with Allah is Islam." And though it's basically true that Muslims and Christians worship the same God, Christians have wandered far from the true path by also worshiping Jesus (pbuh); many also worship Mary, or their saints. This is a terrible falsehood. It is an abomination in Allah's sight and we must protect our children from it.

      Following a religion is not a light or meaningless matter like which football team you prefer. We can't just cast our children to the wind and say, follow whatever religion you like, true or false, it's all the same. If we do that then we have failed them and we have failed as Muslims.

      By the way, I think you mean that our parents sacrificed for us, not scarified us. Scarified means they scarred us (and some have done that too, no doubt).

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • True, some parents have emotionally scarred their children.

      • Spoken like a true Muslim.
        Dear Mr. Wael
        I am dealing with such a heart breaking situation (heart breaking for me)
        I am a Muslim, but do not practice it and my faith is not strong, but I am using my head in this situation.
        I also have been with a Christian man for 4 years, in love with him very much (and am still a virgin, not just because of fear from God, but I believe some part of me wants to be a true muslim and not lie to myself, but I just don't have the motivation to do so!)
        At the present moment, my Christian man wants to rush things and get married, and propsed he sign a 'paper' to show my parents and family that he became a muslim, and he told me he will never be a true muslim because he doesn't believe in it .
        That would fool them, but I am so confused, I am trying so hard to think with my head and not just my heart
        Im afraid if I let him go, I would have lost a chance of true happiness, but I also think, if I marry him, the little problems we tend to ignore now will be much bigger later
        Please advise me

        Thank you!

        • I'm going through the same thing presently. I really want to be a better Muslim and I know now that I cannot marry him. But I'm afraid that he'll be so hurt if I end things and I keep praying for him to be led on the straight path. I don't think him just signing a paper would change the way you feel, it may fool your parents but you would always know the truth and do you really want your husband to lie to your parents in such a big way? Sigh* I realise your post was written in 2011, I know 2 years has passed, if you found a way past this, can you let me know please? I would really like some advice from someone who's been in my shoes.

          • There is no way "past" it. You simply have to bite the bullet and end the relationship. It's called doing the right thing. Doing the right thing is not always easy, and it's often hard.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Allah said: "Indeed, you cannot guide whom you love, But Allah guides whom He wills and He knows best those who are guided" (Quran 28:56)

            Therefore as bro Wael said, you have to do the right thing and that is ending this relationship as you are disobeying Allah to a high extent where instead you have to FEAR Allah and obey Him. You will not get success and blessings in your life by disobeying Allah and receiving His wrath and curse. Take heed before Allah's punishment comes on you and you will not be helped by anyone.

          • @peanut -

            You should focus more on increasing your imaan. Start learning more about Islam from authentic sources and practice it.

            a link for you to learn more about Islam inshaAllah abdurrahman(dot)org/ [replace (dot) by . in this link and paste and search in your browser]

            Tell that guy that Allah does not allow you to marry a non muslim man.
            Stop communicating with him completely. don't let the Shaitan play with you.

            Tell that guy if he wants to marry you then he has to accept Islam by his heart (you should not force him to do it for your sake).

            Ask him to learn about Islam.

            a link for him to learn about Islam inshaAllah Invitation2Islaam(dot)wordpress(dot)com [replace (dot) by . in this link and paste and search in your browser]

            If you be patient now and seek the help of Allah then things would be fine inshaAllah.
            But if you be impatient and disobeyed Allah by carrying on with this relationship further then you may easily ruin your life. Your life could be a mess. Allah knows best.

            Fear Allah.

            I hope you love Allah more than anybody else. So leave him for the sake of Allah.

            Remember that, Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with something better than it.
            __________________
            May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

    • "God created love".

      This is popular modern Christian ideology, completely false and created by deviant Christians who have raised Issa (pbuh) to the level of divinity. The children won't be choosing anything, actually they would end up chossing nothing, be confused & and probably end up atheist because they are disillusioned by religion.

      Problems come in when parents live through their children & are adamant on forcing their opinions on children either by force, emotional blackmail or manipulation.

    • I am totally agree with you REEM, Amin

  5. GO FOR IT!!

    Love him and be with him and marry him,
    Don't listen TO ANYONE but ur heart!!
    As long as ur true to ur self!

    Religious has caused nothing but pain, wars, discrimmination, hate, and it helps those with power Steal for their benefits.

    Allah taught us to love, if u can't love and u have been fooled and washed brain so much..sorry can't do anything for u :)

    If Allah doesn't want us all to get under the same roof as humans and live together respected lifes and to be happy, than I don't want to live.

    And no one has the right to question my faith, NO ONE CAUSE u don't knw me!! Specially inside of me and the only thing I saw from Muslims is nothing but pain, cause girls have to live like slaves..

    And the only person who stood up by me was my chiristan friend while my parents were abusing me mentally about hell and heaven and beat me up until I can't breath, had Muslims stood up against me saying they are ur parents u have to bare them. And Muslims who have nothing to do but to judge on others and call others names and live their lifes as close minded people.

    I had my chiristan friend who taught me love, I even wanted to be a Chiristan he said "no u can't be just for me" and he said he will be a Muslim because he loves me so much and he believes in allah too.

    I'm tired from Islam, chiristans are classier educated people, they respect others and don't do the things that Muslim always do...HATE.

    • Enas, As-salamu alaykum,

      You say that religion has caused nothing but wars and hate. SubhanAllah, I totally disagree with you. Just last week I participated in a Muslim-sponsored event called Humanitarian Day. We set up booths in a poor part of town and gave away food supplies, clothing, shoes, school supplies for kids, and we even had three Muslim doctors doing free basic medical screenings... As a Muslim I have found that Islam gives me guidance and hope, and excellent guidelines for living my life. It allows me to lay a spiritual foundation for my family, while my connection with Allah makes me feel whole. The brotherhood and sisterhood of Muslims is a beautiful thing as well. I have so many friends that I have made through the local Muslim community center, and they come from all races and nationalities, which is something you only find in Islam.

      You say that girls have to live like slaves. I have a girl, and she is certainly not a slave. And when I look at the non-Muslim society and I see teenage girls going around almost naked, getting pregnant, using drugs, and generally confused, I thank Allah that I am Muslim and that my daughter is growing up as a Muslim as well.

      Your claim that Christians are classier is ridiculous. I have deleted so many hateful, insulting comments that have been left by some Christians on this website. Of course other Christians have left polite and thoughtful comments here. People are people, some are good and some are bad, regardless of religion.

      It seems that you had a bad experience with your parents, and because of that you have extended your disapproval and contempt to all Muslims. That's very sad.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • So Enas whats your condition now. keep us updated.

  6. I have this problem too. I really love my bf. But, why does Allah created Christian for Isa, Jesus to convey, if only Islam is right? I believe all of us pray to the God that created us. So that's Allah in Islamic term. I want to marry my bf :(. Its not only for fun. Why does Allah created non-muslims if we muslims can't be with them? It seems unfair cos men can marry up to 4 women and a woman can marry and tied to only one guy? That is totally strange. We are all humans, but why does it seems like God is bias on sexuality? It seems like God like men better. Why created woman then? I am born in a Muslim family, if a person is born in a non-muslim family, and he is so good, so nice, in the end, will he go to hell?that is unfair. Islam is created 600 years after Christian, so does that mean every single human being that live before that will go to hell? I am totally confused, seriously. Why does Allah created other religion,- Samawi Religion like Jewish, Christian, and 4 books, Taurat, Zabur, Quran and Bible if only one of them is right? I heard that the contents of other holy books has been changed and only Quran is confirmed by Allah will not change till the end of the day. But, why don't Allah confirm other books will not be changed too? Does God make mistakes? I believe that he can foresee the future, like other religions are fighting bout religion. If God is so powerful, why don't he make peace? If all that he wants? Does God make mistakes? If he make mistake, then I choose not to believe in God.

    • D, you have a LOT of misconceptions and misunderstandings about Islam. I see that you are confused about many things. If you want to register and submit your questions as a separate post, we'll try to answer Insha'Allah. Only if you are truly interested in getting answers. It almost sounds like your mind is made up and you don't really want the truth because it would not be convenient for your lifestyle.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I too had many questions when I was young. the shaitan played with my mind a lot, same thing he is doing with you now.

      Being born in a Muslim family I did not know much about Islam, I was around 16 and I did not even know how to pray properly. Allah knows best.

      Alhamdulillah now I have learnt many things and I am still learning.

      You should start learning about Islam from authentic sources, inshaAllah your questions will be answered.

      If you are unable to understand something about Islam just be patient. Tell to yourself that I believe in Allah. Allah is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise.

      ask Allah to help you. keep making dua.

      a link for you to learn more about Islam inshaAllah abdurrahman(dot)org/ [replace (dot) by . in this link and paste and search in your browser]

      I have come to know that Islam is the truth. If i leave this path then I will go astray. Then there wont be any goodness in this life or in the hereafter.

      Alhamdulillah. Islam has really changed my life.
      you should start learning more about Islam. Let us know your progress.
      _________________________________

      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  7. I am astonished seriously about all that av just read,but I must say it was a miracle I had to stumble upon this site cos I just am so informed now about how much people are struggling with this religious issue of *am a muslim,he's a x'tian,am a x'tian,she's a muslim*........maashallah maashallah..............may Allah guide us to the straight path all the time Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnn,this also made me aware of how many people out there have a great deal of misconception about Islam....may Allah strengthen the FAITHS of ALL practicing muslims and may He guide us to the motivating factors to pray and practice our beautiful religion of Islam.......Another Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnn!!!!

  8. Hi

    I'm christian woman falling inlove with the muslim man,we are not married yet but he preposed me over the phone that will I marry him.So I don't know how serious he is but I really love him.We always send each other some romentic SMS but now he seemes distant and I'm the only one whose phoning him for the last one day.And he started giving me excuses.
    I'm a south African and he is a Cameroonian.Please help

    • @Andy and other non muslims reading this.

      As you have been here

      I would like to tell you about Islam

      We Muslims worship Allah - the only one GOD who created you and me and all that exists.
      The GOD of Adam, Noah , Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammed (peace be upon them) and all.

      why did Jesus(peace be upon him) the son of Mary (may Allah be pleased with her) came to this earth?
      Jesus came to teach people about ALLAH. He came to teach people to worship none but ALLAH alone without associating any partners with HIM.

      Allah says
      “And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)”
      {Quran 51:56}
      _________________

      Allah alone deserves to be worshiped.
      HE has no father, mother, brother, sister or son.
      HE is not like us.
      There is no one like HIM.

      Allah says,

      Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One,
      "Allah-us-Samad (The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks).
      He neither begets nor is born,
      "And there is none co-equal or comparable unto Him."

      (Quran 112: 1-4)
      __________________________

      what is the purpose of this life? just study, earn, marry, children and die or there is more to it?

      Do you know that this life is temporary?? and we will die and will be raised up again and there is going to be a day of judgement?

      Please Research about Islam. See how it makes sense inshaAllah.

      I want you to be saved from the hell fire and enter Heaven so I invite you to Islam.

      Here are some links for you where you can learn more about Islam inshaAllah
      -> quran(dot)come
      - > Invitation2Islaam(dot)wordpress(dot)com
      replace above (dot) by . and paste and search in your address bar
      __________________
      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  9. Dear brothers and sisters,

    I am a girl coming from a muslim dad and christian mother, I think i am a lucky girl cz i had to see,experience and practice both relegion: what made me choose my true path and own believes. I think that children coming from'mixed' parents have wider visions and horizons, even if at an early stage they might be lost but this will guide them to choose the relegion and thoughts they blv in and at the same time be more tolerant toward other people thoughts and relegion.
    Diversity is a bless.

  10. Salaam mirym and to every future brothers and sisters whom may read this,
    I strongly disagree with the comment above, having mixed religions is a dangerous combination, it can delude a child and cause confusion. Mirym was very blessed by Allah swt that is if she became muslim while growing up from parents of diffrent religions. I had a same upbringing my mom was christian, dad muslim, my dad went overseas and my mom took full care of me,as an obedient child I began to know of christianity and prayed to Jesus only astagfurallah, I didnt even pray to god as much as I did to jesus. It made me feel empty and created so much fear within me. Finally my dad came back to me when I was at the age of fifteen and my aunt with my dad taught me islam, alhamduallah I accepted islam after struggling with letting go of the brainwash, because praying to prophet Jesus was all I ever had and knew my mom had instilled in me from going to church. I had never felt such peace esp when I touched the quran for the first time, alhamduallah writing this remebering makes me tear up for the gratefulness I feel. Brothers and sisters, fear Allah and the last day, dont let shaitan fool you with falsness, he promising nothing only decieves while Allah swt promises everything and an afterlife, jannah
    May Allah make the ummah strong and give them pure mates to abide in
    Ameen

    • Amin
      I am also from a mixed family. I started up a ls a christian. Then a muslim/christian if I can say it that way. I am now a muslim and I have never felt so peaceful. True that I am still not the ideal muslim I want to be but I am trying. Islam is an amazing religions. To the sisters who want to let go of Islam in the name of "love", please do me a favor. Learn about your religion, read the Quran, pray and fast. Give it a shot, build your eman. When you do that, you will realize no man is worth your amazing religion.

      For long, i have thought i could marry a christian. After all, i am half christian as i would tell myself. There is no half in religion. Now that I am working on my Eman, i just wish for a pious muslim man to marry. I want a role model to my son and someone i wouldn't have to worried about bothering him when I wake up for fajr. I want someone who will not think i am crazy to fast (i had a college friend who was interested in me asked me why i wasn't going to the cafeteria to eat. And i told him i was fasting as part of my religion. He thought i was crazy and told me he wouldn't starve himself for that. And it was crazy to do that). If Allah (S.W) has prohibited us from marrying non-muslim men it is because He knows a pious sister would not be able to practice her religion living with a non -muslim man. There is alcohol and other things that Islam prohibits. You may think this doesn't apply to you because you're not that practising. Let me tell that as you grow older, and start looking for the meaning of life, when you start worrying about death. You'll get closer to the deen, without anyone pushing you. Notice that there are much more older ladies in churches and mosque than they are younger ones. Because we get closer to our faith when we get older. I have aunts who married non-muslims and have now regrets because their children have no religion and they are about their grandchildren and their children ' hereafter. So sisters. Dont be blind by infatuation, it doesn't last forever. Allah (S.W), on the other side, has been protecting you everyday of your life. You are healthy, have food on the table, and clothes on your back. You have two hands, so which of the favors of Allah (S.W) would you deny?

  11. * sorry I meant when I was fifteen. not my dad haha

  12. Assalamualaikum sister,

    Simple, make a deal with him. Study each others' religion. You learn the Bible, he learns the Quran. Make Doa for the both of you. Reading the Bible will reinforce your belief in Islam, and the Quran will lead him to the Truth, Inshallah.

    My wife & I were exactly in your position and this was exactly what my wife and i did and Alhamdullilah, I cannot express how much i appreciate and am grateful to have found the Truth, Islam is my life now.

    May Allah grant you both to the Straight Path and lead each other to Jennah. Ameen.

    Salam,
    Timothy

    • Timothy, I'm glad it worked out for you, Alhamdulillah, but in general this is not a sound approach. It's equally possible that the husband will never accept Islam, and the wife will find herself struggling between her conscience and her circumstances.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Well brother, please correct if i'm wrong when i say, we have no control over all things especially when it comes to beliefs. Only Allah has the ability to lift the veil of people from ignorance. We can only do the best within our incomparable abilities. Based on that, shouldn't we use the best tools available, best tools which are provided directly from Allah - the Holy Quran. That's mightily the difference between the Truth from all other religions. The words of the Truth will touch the hearts of those who sincerely seek for the Truth, Inshallah, with doa. That's putting our beliefs and our God-given intellect on the table.
        What else is better than utilising the tools from The One who created us, right?

        In addition to that, have you read the Bible, brother? Anybody with a sound mind who reads it thoroughly, would reject the the Bible! For intance, one horrendous example from the countless, would be when Prophet Lot (Lut) (pbuh) was described having sexual relations with his own daughter in the Old Testament. May Allah show His Wrath upon the fabricators and those who give consent!

        I think that should be enough for both the couple to begin their journey to Jennah.
        Inshallah Ameen.

        What do you think?

  13. Salaamun Alaikum Timothy,

    I hope this email finds you well with the blessings of the Almighty (swt). Masha'Allah you seem to have lots of knowledge about Christianity. I'm currently trying to bring a Christian friend towards Islam, however, he's a devout Baptist. He speaks a lot about the concept of having a relationship with God being more important than following a specific set of rules, for example: praying, fasting, etc. He says that the Holy Spirit, who I assume, for him means God, astaghfirullah, speaks to him, and that during church services, there are things called "alter calls" where God speaks through the priest or other people in the Church. What is your take on this? How would you reason with him on this? Just looking for some insight.

    Jazak'Allah.

    P.s. Just for clarification here, this is purely an information based question, there are no hidden or personal agendas.

    • Wa'alaykumsalam,

      'Altar calls' is unbiblical just like many other christian acts.

      Secondly, an advise to you sis 'muslima', know that Shaytan is ever present and can turn a good situation into a very nasty monstorous one in a short time using da'wah as disguise and you're dealing with a kafir. Oh, how many muslimas have unfortunately fallen into grave sins which initiated with 'da'wah', surely you're underestimating shaytan.

      Da'wah is not an easy job. Just because some muslims pray 5 times, read Quran, fasts, give zakah etc they may be terrible when it comes to da'wah. Scholars of Islam took years and years and years to study Islam and then started da'wah. Surely we laymen can only make a fool of ourselves when non muslim makes an arguement and we tell him/her to hold on for a day and google search the net for information etc on their beliefs and how to refute them with Islamic teachings and reasonings. So before you give da'wah to people, you must have tremendous amount of knowledge about Islam, reasoning without Islam and in your case, you need biblical knowledge too without which the non muslim would easily refute each and every arguement you make for example, without refering to the Quran, can you refute the trinity concept sis ? And if your eman is low, you might get influcend by biblical teachings thus you might become suspicious of Islamic teachings when non muslim bring something interesting up or if he tries to prove that Quran contradicts, thats it, you're gone if you lack in tafsir knowledge. And it is very possible that, over time, you might get emotionally attach to him or he might do you worst etc etc I think you need to learn about Islam first like give yourself da'wah because muslimas are forbidden to have non mahram friends whether muslim or not. Period.
      About that non-muslim guy you're dealing with, guide him to a local masjid or Islamic centres or let him visit some knowledgable brothers within your community or give him some Islamic lectures videos or books or any authentic Islamic websites. There are many many ways to give da'wah to a non muslim and you giving da'wah to a male non mahram is not one of them and you are prohibited to do so. Its a sin.
      So your first duty as a muslim is to fear and obey Allah and His messenger.

      Remember that only Allah guides. No matter how much you try to bring him to Islam, you won't succeed as you said he is a devout baptist making him more knowledgeable and firm in faith in his sect but one thing is sure, you're only aiding shaytan with you intermingling with A MAN.

      Take heed.

    • Wa alaikum salam dear sister,

      It is my pleasure to help with the best of my knowledge.

      In Christianity there are many unbiblical rituals and alter calls is one of them.

      Christians do stand by the rule of equality. However one major confusion in this is that upon confessing of sin, they have Priests / Deacons / Pastors taking intermediary roles between you and God.

      What generally happens in the confession box is this - the 'sinner' goes in telling the priest his sins and the priest will instruct him to do a number of praises (like zkir) depending on the weight of their sins committed. Are these priests not human? Who gave them the right to possess such powers and authority? This in Islam is unnacceptable, this is Shirk! God has mentioned these people in the Holy Quran;

      {Q9:31} They have taken their rabbis and their monks /priests - as well as the Christ, son of Mary - for their lords beside God, although they had been bidden to worship none but the One God, save whom there is no deity: the One who is utterly remote, in His limitless glory, from anything to which they may ascribe a share in His divinity.

      Simple, there is no shared divinity between the Priests / Deacons / Pastors / Popes / Monks / Rabbis / the Learned etc. but this only lies with the One God. SubahanAllah!

      The concept of the Holy Spirit has been entirely fabricated primarily to delude Christians away from last Prophet of God, Muhammad (pbuh). Acknowledging the fact that there is an organisation which has a self-imposed right to amend / change the words of the Bible as and when they think suits - ie. In the Bible, Jesus (pbuh) informed his followers not to be afraid for after his death, 'the Holy Spirit' will descend and will be carrying my message and will be a guide for all.

      Plus you might already know that the word 'Muhammadim' is indeed present in the Bible in Hebrew (one of the Bible's authentic written language) and there is a controversial debate over that matter. It's found in Song of Solomon, (5:16). But this was lost when the Bible was massively translated to English.

      There are many important things we should learn & ponder upon and not fall into ignorance.

      Each of us has an independant relationship to God, regardless of race, language or wordly / monetary status. We are all equal and only measured by our faith and deeds by Allah alone. For us believers to strengthen our relationship with God, we fast, we pray, we perform Haj, we do good deeds, even the simplest of things such as picking up litter to care for the Earth, or greeting our neighbour with a sincere smile acknowledging another creation of God, all with the pure intention of doing everything for God.

      When i embraced Islam, i felt i found a treasure that i was dying to share with my Christian family and close friends. But time and time again, i fell flat on my face. I learned from these experiences and i learned from teachers that only God guides and now i truly understand. I never forgot what a teacher told me, he was a former Christian Priest who is now a marvelous Islamic Speaker, Dr omar Zaid.
      - "When God throws you an opportunity, then you throw. But for now, you show them that you have the Nur (light) through example."

      The best Da'wa is through example. We simply focus on ourselves to be the best amongst the righteous and learn the beautiful ways of our prophets, and everything else will follow suit, people around us will see and observe the miraculous change in us.

      There is so much to cover here and i do have my own flaws so i urge you to do your own research, it is our responsibility to attain knowledge to the best of our abilities. We live in the age where information is within our fingertips. Learn from reading, from teachers, and always seek guidance from God through prayers. My Do'a for you sister.

      I hope this shed some light over your doubts.

      May Allah guide us all to the Straight Path as we seek to be better Believers through all the days of our lives. Ameen.

    • I'm a christian boy and i had a muslim girl,we love each other.
      I'm open minded about religion and i know that a muslim woman cannot marry a non muslim man so in order to "take this further" he must accept Islam as his complete way of life.i lived in Malaysia n she is a malaysian-indonesian "mixed".My parents don't want us to be togather.i love my parents n i love her too.
      my parents don't want me to have any relationship with any muslim girls.i know her family and i treat both younger sisters like my own sisters.We are both confused so i visited some christian and muslim website so that i can ask for help.Please don't judge me.i just want some advise..peace to be upon you.

      • Hi Joshua,

        I think your family has a concern which is driven by Christian faith. In the same way, as a Muslim, no girl is allowed to have any relationship with a non Muslim man.

        Christianity did come from the same God as Islam, but when the Gospel given to Jesus peace be upon him was distorted and people began to disobey Allah. They changed the word of God to match their own desires.

        Then Allah sent prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and gave him the Quran in stages. It took over 23 years for the Quran to be Revealed to him by angel Gabriel, who brough the Word of Allah with him.

        This final word - the Quran, is the unchangeable and protected word of God and Prophet Muhammad is His Final Messenger, who came to affirm what Jesus brought - that there is only One God.

        I encourage you to learn more about Islam, learn the life of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, the Islamic view of Jesus, etc., in order to prepare yourself for the hereafter, when Jesus will deny that he ever asked anyone to worship him and we (the nation of prophet Muhammad, which includes "you" and every human being living today) will affirm that Jesus never called anyone to worship him. Allah Said:

        4:41
        فَكَيْفَ إِذَا جِئْنَا مِنْ كُلِّ أُمَّةٍ بِشَهِيدٍ وَجِئْنَا بِكَ عَلَىٰ هَٰؤُلَاءِ شَهِيدًا
        So how [will it be] when We bring from every nation a witness and we bring you, [O Muhammad] against these [people] as a witness?

        So, Joshua, study Islam and look at its beauty. If you like it and become a Muslim, worshipping Allah and following His final Prophet, you can consider marrying a Muslim girl. If you want our help in anything, I request you to login to our website and submit a new post and we will help you, God Willing.

        Abu Abdul Bari
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. I know its hard. The only way is for him to convert and become a muslim. U must slowly inroduce him to islam. if he refuse to convert, eventhough its painful, u must let go. some of cousins have married people who used to be from another religion. before they get married, the person did convert and now they are living happilly togther. hope it goes well for u. if u are fated, hopefully u guys will be together. just make sure u guide him well

    • Aslaam brothers and sisters

      I had an arrange marrige from when I was 18yrs and now I'm 24, my husband has been abusive from day1.. Iv kept quiet thinking he gona change, iv got a beautiful baby to... He doest provide for us even tho we live together still beaten me few times and drinks, I keep letting him come home for the sake of my parents they are againts a divorce.. Iv been chatting to a frnd who is a christian who I have know fallen in love with iv never met up with him and iv known him for years.. He's always been there for me only 1 who understands me where as my own muslim family don't care about me they say its normal for a muslim girl to get beaten up for no reason I'm sick of it.. I never do anthing wrong I'm 25 and still ask my parents before I leave my house iv never had a bf all my life and now I'm really inlove with this one person iv told him he said he's willing to convert 2day for me, I know its wrong I am married but I can't live my life with an abusive man I try and do everthing to make him happy but it never seems work please I need some advice.. I have no love in my heart for my husband iv never had but iv tried many times to make things work and iv given up

      • nazia, what you are doing is wrong. If your husband is abusive, leave him and get a divorce. But to be chatting with this other man - a Christian no less - is totally wrong and improper.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • We chat clean, how's family/work? Weather n life nothing more... I know it wrong I'm married and in love with some1 a non-muslim.. I knw its haraam if he coverts to islam would that be any good? Or would I still not be able to marry him?.... I keep getting forced to stay with my husband, there's no relationship between us I do try to make things work out but there is no use at all.. I just want to live a peaceful life nothing more.. These pakistani where I'm from do nothing but, argue and hurt one another... Islaam is about love n peaceand I'm never going to find that between thoes ppl who do nothing but judge

          • I keep getting forced to stay with my husband, there's no relationship between us I do try to make things work out but there is no use at all.. I just want to live a peaceful life nothing more.. These pakistani where I'm from do nothing but, argue and hurt one another... Islaam is about love n peaceand I'm never going to find that between thoes ppl who do nothing but judge

  15. As-salamu Alaykum,

    I found this website via my own research, and would like to share my experience In shaa Allah. I never expected myself to be in a situation similar to this. I am a Muslim female, coming from a very understanding family. 2 years ago I met my christian bf, who is black. We hit it off immediately due to his interest in Islam; he has always respected our religion & does not believe the negative stereotypes the media portrays regarding Islam. Rather, he loves the idea of modesty, the value women have in Islam, the respect; something he has not been used to seeing with women around him whilst growing up. I knew us having a relationship was wrong, but i enjoyed teaching him about it. Then, we found ourselves falling for each other; here we are 2 years later. We have never allowed ourselves to be alone in such an environment where we would commit such an act prohibited in Islam. Now we want to marry, and i have told him this cannot happen unless he becomes Muslim. I also told him this has to be a decision wholeheartedly made by him, to follow Islam as his way of life; not just for my sake. He wants to read the Qur'an, and would like me to help him. when Uni finishes for him (2-3 weeks) he is also going to read into our religion more. Is there anything else i can do to help, and what are your views & opinions?

    I would appreciate if people did not leave negative/hurtful comments upon reading this. I would really like some help & advice from someone with more knowledge regarding this topic, and am willing to take everything on-board In shaa Allah.

    Jazak'Allah khayrun.

    • hanamoona, wa alaykum as-salam. The bottom line is that your relationship with this man is improper in every way. You have carried on a relationship with a non-Muslim man and fallen in love with him, all of which is haram, and now you trying to manipulate the situation to a satisfactory resolution by pressuring him into become Muslim. If he sincerely desires to learn about Islam then he can do so from his local masjid, or Muslim student association, or from books/online. But you should cease your contact with him and examine your lack of sincerity in this matter.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  16. Assalamulaykum Brothers and sisters

    I am a muslim girl frm birth but quiet naive.If u marry a christian or a muslim isnt that qadar or destny of Allah i should say i think Allah knws best and he knws the reason he made u fall in love with the muslim or Christian just one of my ignorance hope samone can,tell wht it really is

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