Islamic marriage advice and family advice

In love with a married woman!

broken heart sliced heart 300x225 %photoThis is a very complicated situation and i cannot figure out what to do. i was with a woman two years ago we had a relationship for about a year and wanted to get married but none of our familes would accept it as she had a child from a previous marriage.

Her family took her back home to Bangladesh and got her married to a relative. She did it just to please her family last summer.  She came back to the UK in november 2009 without her husband as she has to work and apply for a visa for him to come to London.

The problem is we are both madly in love with each other and have seen each other but not had sexual intercourse but have kissed etc.

What should we do? Even though we both still want to get married but our familes will not accept it. Please help me

- YoungMuslim22


Tagged as: , , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. YoungMuslim22, As-salamu alaykum,

    What you are doing is completely haram and destructive. Your relationship with this married woman is very sinful. The Quran says,

    "Do not go near to adultery. Surely it is a shameful deed and evil, opening roads (to other evils)" (Quran 17:32).

    And:

    "Say, 'Verily, my Lord has prohibited the shameful deeds, be it open or secret, sins and trespasses against the truth and reason"' ( Quran 7:33).

    If you really loved her you would not be continuing a relationship with her, seeing her, kissing her and whatever else you are doing. You are compromising her religion as a Muslim and her standing before Allah. You are compromising her marriage. You are ruining her honor. And you are placing her at risk of shame before her family and the world if they discover what she is doing.

    If the lady was forced into marriage - I mean literally if she had no choice, and they blackmailed her and pressured her or did it without her consent - then it's possible that her marriage is invalid. If this is the case, she should see the Qadi or judge in Bangladesh and get her marriage annulled.

    However, you have no role in that process. You should not be a part of her life at all. You should not be seeing her at all. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Shaytan makes a third." (Tirmidhi)

    If she was not forced, and she agreed out of her own free will, "to please her family" as you said, then her marriage is valid. She is a married woman. She made a choice. She could have stood up to her family and said, "No, I refuse to marry him, I love YoungMuslim22 and I want to marry him only." But she didn't do that, did she? She did not choose you. She chose the other man, regardless of her motivations. That's the reality.

    You must accept the reality of the situation and move on. Your continued relationship with this woman is sinful and dangerous.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. assalamu alaykum brother,madly inlove meaning? look if you love somebody you will respect them and you should love Allah first and respect what he has putten out for you respect that he has chosen someone else for her do you wana try and change his plans? well let me tell you,you will never succeed if you wish to follow shaytaan you will only be opening the doorsw of hell for both you and her are you so madlyinlove that your willing to go to hell together? look for a man love comes around alot and there is many girls out there more beautiful and more wonderful then her just make dua and be patient leave her alone move on with life.

  3. Asalaam waliakum, its funny how this resembles my life as i was in relationship with a guy before married and then family forced me back to Bangladesh n got me unknowingly married at age of 16/17 and i was immature didn't understand that i was married so i came bak and this ex man was more into sex than marrying giving fake hope i know i did very gunnah and went bak Bangladesh again stayed very long time and did taubah and asked forgivenss to Allah and got pregnant and came uk in 2010 and soon as i stepped uk my husband forgt me n our daughter... I seekd divorce from khazi and got khula after my daughter 1st birthday and eventually got married recently to a guy who's been sending rishta since long time my daughter seen him first time and called him Abba for this i got married like the way i wanted... Haven't cheated on my husband i told him truth and he understand my feelings and i understand what goes in his heart Without saying we understand each other i praying 5time namaz n quran fasting and husband promised to take me hajj so im happy about this as well inshallah well be going soon now i suddenly bumped into my ex and his telling lots of lies about my husband and threating to kill himself n begging to meet alone i told him straight up... IM someone's wife and mother i don't want to do adultry like before i was immature and stupid but now i understand the value of marriage and value of being a wife and husband and said to him that i love my husband not him n i would not keep any kind of relationship with a stranger. I hope Allah forgives my past i really feel ashamed about it.

Leave a Response