Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Intending to marry in secret due to financial and immigration issues

I have been engaged for a few months and my family wants me and my fiance to get married in 2012 after i finish my degree. secret nikah

We both live in Australia alone. But due to financial issues we are planning to move in together and get married in the mosque or have an urfi marriage (as we are different nationalities and the paper work to get the marriage registered is a major headache).

After I finish university we will get shari' marriage +wedding as planned in 2012.

my question is.. will this marriage be valid if i hide it from my parents?

I'll be telling everyone living in Australia that we are married and if my family asks, I will not lie to them. But if they dont ask me, I wont tell them we got married. So its not a secret marriage but not 100% public either.

- mika


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4 Responses »

  1. As salamu alaykum,

    I don´t know to answer your question about if it would be valid or not, but if you alloud me I will make you think a little bit, I hope you don´t mind.

    Have you thought how painful it is going to be for your family that you do this important step at their backs?

    What is stopping you from doing it straight and transparent and tell them what you want and why?

    I just don´t understand why you want to hide from your family, you said you are going to tell everybody exept them, is it that fare to you?

    All my unconditional Love and Respect,

    María

  2. Sister, Asalaamualaykum,

    Marriage is a sacred institution. If you wish to marry someone, do it with honesty and clarity from the start. Do not pollute it before it has even begun. If you marry without your parents knowing:

    - you will hurt them immensely
    - you will damage your relations with them
    - you will displease Allah hence incurring His(swt) Wrath.

    Where you are putting your strength and will in to doing the wrong thing, re-focus and put your strength and will into convincing your parents to marry you now instead of after you complete your studies, tell them of your financial difficulties. Perhaps they will be able to help you financially, so you may actually be able to wait. If you try to do things the right way, even if you have to struggle:

    - you will maintain good ties with your parents/family
    - you will gain Allahs pleasure (hopefully)
    - you will have blessings in your marriage.

    I suggest you also seek some proper legal advice to find out about the Immigration policies regarding marriage in Australia as it is important to bide by the laws of the land. Once you have found out about the Immigration matters, you may find that it is not such a big issue as you think.

    Also take note: Allah's Messenger Muhammed (saw) said:

    ‘La nikah ila biwali’, translating as: "There is no nikah without wali".

    I trust you will make the right choice inshaAllah.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Dear sister,
    Do NOT do that,
    You are a good persond with sound mind and strong muslim, why don'nt you marry the correct/right way (religious wise) you can, ur friend if he is a good and strong man he should not mary you that way meanwile still they are several ways to mary transparently and religously.?
    What I think and advice to all muslim youth, please blieve in the deen and ur selves not the money or other week things, after you mary you will realise that marridge is very good to people,
    Again and again please be transparent with ur family and talk to them about it, no doubt incase it's good and suits you deffinentely they will will not refuse.

    My best wishes,

  4. sir im sincere to a person.. but i know i cant control my feelings,, that is y i have decided for nikah so that i can b secured my self from any kind of mistake,, but in this nikah my parents will not be invovld,, bcz im still a student,, when my parents allow us then we will again got marege,, just tell me is it psibl?? bcz i just want to satisfy my soul in front of my God,,

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