Is it ok to have this sort of relation?
A.0.A,
I just wanna ask that I have a gf, I have never touched her, I don't think about her in sexual ways, I mean i just love her... I wanna know is it ok in Islam to have this sort of relation? I mean we can't marry as we are too young for it... Please guide me.
we really care for each other but marriage is not possible at this young age...??? (sorry for bad/weak english)
ali ahmed
10 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Salaams,
I am not sure how old you are, but age wouldn't be a factor in my answer. In Islam, men and women aren't even to have intimate friendships, let alone be involved in ANY sort of romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Having a 'girlfriend' that you talk to regularly, spend time with, or go out with even if there's no physical intimacy is still haraam. The reason for this is because the innocent exchanges you may share now will eventually get mundane, and you will want to draw even closer to one another and the temptations to avoid sinful action will be more difficult to withstand.
If you cannot marry, it's better to avoid contact with this sister altogether. No one can stop you from loving someone in your heart, but if you indulge it by seeing her and talking to her on the phone etc, you can be assured you've crossed the boundaries set by Allah. In most cases it's best to try to extinguish any romantic feelings you have for her inside so that they do not create further fitna for you.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
assalamualaikum..
dear brother islam doesnot allow a unmarried boy and girl to meet alone at anyplace or parks,xxx islam atleast doesnot give permission to meet to the persons who has been engagement and there marriage is also fixed thet means until nikahthe activities which are done after nikah are not allowed before nikah in islam..
Assalaamualaikam
Intimate relationships of any kind aren't acceptable outwith marriage - this protects both people involved and helps reduce the risk of us feeling emotional distress and turmoil - boyfriend/girlfriend relationships lack the stability and permanence of a marriage.
If you and the girl feel the same way, then maybe speak to your families and see if a nikah might be possible. You mention your age as a reason why you feel marriage would not be possible - is this because of being below the age of "adulthood" or due to not yet being established in life and maturity? Some countries have a legal age at which you can get married. If you are of an age where it would be legal in your country to get married, you could always propose a simple nikah ceremony, to make it acceptable for the two of you to spend time together and build a halal relationship - intimacy, living together, having a family and generally being "a grown-up" can all come later, inshaAllah.
If a halal relationship is not possible at this time, it would be better for the two of you to stop spending time together - a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is haraam, and continuing to spend time together in such a way would not help either of you find happiness or strengthen your faith.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
But how can you marry somebody without meeting them or being there gf????? Like in islamic countrys like afganistan saudi the ladys are covered so how do u even look at them to see if there beautiful or not? if u can never see them uncovered thats without hijab someone please explain
Abdul, there is no need to have a girlfriend or boyfriend to know if they are compatible for marriage. In Islam you are allowed to talk to the woman in the presence of her mahram or in public, and you have the right to see her face at least once before marriage.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
If you can date a person and the attraction is there, there is a good chance you can marry them.
I think the reason question you are asking is "how do you know they are the right person in the long term?"
Dating someone isn't going to guarantee that they are the right person either--and the bottom line to understand is that a long-term commitment like marriage requires hard work from both the husband and wife, while dating demands not much more than having fun in a relationship without responsibility.
When the girl's wali is involved, it demands good character from both parties involved and ensures that the relationship proceeds for the right reasons.
Brother do you seriously think that covered ladies don't get married??? We have left the religion that is why we have so many problems... So many!?!!? This website is full of people who have suffered emotional, physical and Intellectual abuse either from themselves ie: our of ignorance sometimes the fault is b/c of them and sometimes its their parents by not knowing the religion and nt practicing it sincerely for Allah and properly in accordance to the sunnah of the messenger Alaihi Sallatu wa Sallam. Or they have b/c of ignoring the religion even after knowing. At the time oftheProphet Salla'Allahu Alaihi wa Sallam He SaW used to advice His companion to look at their future spouse in order so that there might be some love or attraction.brother Wael is right.
First all if u are young wait to get married and focus on ur life and focus on her bc u love her 🙂 we can date,Jews and Catholics and converts ,date so we Muslims can too ,the Hadith isn't authentic you can date but focus on getting job and a place of ur own and car and income . Allah said find your true partner who u love and is compatible for you 🙂
Assalaamualaikam
Dismissing the authenticity of ahadith is a big step to make, as it is from the ahadith that we can learn the Sunnah of The Prophet (peace be upon him). The major collections have rigorously tested chains of authenticity, so the burden of proof for a hadith to be included in these is high.
Could you explain why you have come to your opinion regarding this hadith, please?
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
how old are you?