Is my Cousin My Milk Sister? Can I Marry Her?
Question:
Assalaamwaalaykum, Dear brother,
I have a question regarding marriage. My mother fed her own milk to her sister's daughter (my cousin) when she was a baby.
Now my family wish to marry me to this cousin.
Can I marry to my cousin, or is she forbidden since my mother breastfed her when she was small?
Please reply as soon as possible.
- Parvez
Wael's Answer:
Dear Parvez, Wa alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullah,
The Quran is quite clear on this issue:
"Forbidden to you are your mothers and your daughters and your sisters and your paternal aunts and your maternal aunts and brothers' daughters and sisters' daughters and your mothers that have suckled you and your foster-sisters and mothers of your wives and your step-daughters who are in your guardianship, (born) of your wives to whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone in to them, there is no blame on you (in marrying them), and the wives of your sons who are of your own loins and that you should have two sisters together, except what has already passed; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (An-Nisa: 23)
However, there are certain conditions.
A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reports: “Once the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) entered my house while a man was with me. He said: “O A’isha! Who is this?” I replied: “My foster-brother” He said: “O A’isha! Be careful in determining who your foster-brother is, for suckling is only valid if it takes place in the suckling period”. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 2504 & Sahih Muslim, no. 1455)
The brief answer to your question is that if your mother breastfed your cousin more than five times when she was under the age of two, then your cousin is your milk-sister and your mahram, and she is haram for you to marry.
Here are details and proofs on this issue:
For breastfeeding to have the effect of making a mahram relationship, two conditions must be met: (1) The number of breastfeeding sessions should be five or more, and (2) this should happen within the first two years of the child’s life. If these two conditions are met, then the rulings concerning breastfeeding will apply, i.e. the child will be considered a relative and marriage will be forbidden, etc.
Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states:
"It is permissible for you to marry the daughter of your maternal aunt in this situation, because breastfeeding (rada`ah) only makes the woman (and her daughters) themahramsof the child who nursed if it takes place five times. [Amahramis a relative whom one is forbidden to marry and with whom the rulings of hijab or covering do not apply]. The evidence for that is the hadith narrated by Muslim from `A’ishah who said: “One of the (rulings) that was revealed in the Qur’an was that ten known sessions of breastfeeding make the child a mahram, then that was abrogated and replaced with five.”
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The scholars differed concerning the number of sessions of breastfeeding for which the ruling on breastfeeding (rada`ah) applies. `A'ishah and ash-Shafi`i and his companions said that there is no proof for any number less than five. The majority of scholars said that the ruling applies if breastfeeding occurs once. This was narrated by Ibn al-Mundhir from `Ali, Ibn Mas`ud, Ibn `Umar, Ibn `Abbas, `Ata', Tawus, Ibn al-Musayyib, al-Hasan, Makhul, al-Zuhri, Qatadah, Hammad, Malik, al-Awza`i, al-Thawri and Abu Hanifah (may Allah be pleased with them). Abu Thawr, Abu `Ubayd, Ibn al-Mundhir and Dawud said: The ruling applies in the case of three sessions of breastfeeding, not less than that. Ash-Shafa`i and those who agreed with him followed the hadith of `A'ishah which mentioned five known session of breastfeeding.
Sheikh Ibn Baz was asked whether breastfeeding from a woman three times makes her a mahram.
He replied: this breastfeeding three times does not make her a mahram through breastfeeding. The ruling on becoming amahramthrough breastfeeding only applies if breastfeeding occurs five times or more. Then he quoted the hadith of `A'ishah as evidence. (Source: Fatawa Islamiyyah, 3/326)
Sheikh Ibn `Uthaymeen said:
One session of breastfeeding does not have any effect, rather it must be five sessions of breastfeeding that occur before the child is weaned and before he reaches the age of two. A person does not become the woman’s (foster) child if he breastfeeds once or twice or three or four times. It must also be five known sessions of breastfeeding; if there is some uncertainty as to whether he breastfed four or five times, the principle is that it was four, because every time we are uncertain about numbers, we take the lower number. Based on this, if a woman says, I breastfed this child but I do not know if it was once or twice, or three or four or five times, we say that this child is not her (foster) child, because it has to be five known sessions of breastfeeding without a doubt. (Source: Al-Fatawa al-Jami`ah lil-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, 2/768)"
Abd Allah ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said about Hamza’s daughter: “I am not legally permitted to marry her, as foster relations are treated like blood relations (in marital affairs). She is the daughter of my foster-brother.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 2502)
Therefore, the relationships that are unlawful through blood and lineage will also be unlawful through fosterage. As such, a foster-father (foster mother’s husband), foster-brother, foster-uncle, foster-nephew, etc will all be considered to be a woman’s Mahram, and one will be a Mahram to a foster-mother, foster sister, foster niece, etc.
And Allah knows best.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.
"(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray."
Best regards,
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
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Asalam Alaikum Brother,
Hope you are fine with the blessings of Almighty Allah.
(1)ant to ask the conditions of when can we make a woman as our sister. What i mean is 2 individual out of context and not linked by any relation like a man and woman both muslims but from different countries. Are we muslim allowed to make a woman as our sister. (2) If a woman call us brother then are liable to treat her as our sister. Iam asking this Question because a muslim cannot adopt a son and call him as his own son. so does the same apply to make some one a real sister or a real brother? Please Email you answer with reference from Sahih Hadeeths and Quran.
May Allah bless you.
Wasalam Alaikum.
Ahmed Faraz
Ahmed, I just noticed your question. The answer is that you cannot "make" anyone your brother and sister. There is no such thing in Islam. Of course we are all brothers and sisters in faith, but you cannot make anyone your mahram.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I am promised to marry my cousin. He has not had my mothers milk and I have not had his mothers milk EVER.
My BROTHER has had my future mother in laws milk more then five times, does that mean I cannot marry my future husband?
amrista, no, it does not affect you. Your brother and your cousin are foster brothers, but it does not affect your relation with your cousin. And Allah knows best.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you for the response.
As salamu alaykum warahmatullahi wa barakatu
I have a question:
If for example,
if another woman breast fed me(she then becomes my foster mother), can my foster mother's son marry my mothers sister?
This is actually a case that has happened, so i am very curious to know what the reply is.
Jazakallah khair
If your foster mother's son and your mother's sister are not mahram in some other way (aunt and nephew, for example), then there is no problem, they can marry. He is your foster brother, but that does not create any relation to your aunt.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam Walekum.................
Sir,
i saw the above answer for Mr. Pervez Question, can you brief in that, is marraige Possible with the other sisters? if a person drink 3-4 times in the age of 2-3yrs.from the mothers sister.
Assalam Walekum.................
Sir,
if i m the foster sun of my foster mother and she have total 5 sisters then i cannot marry with all the sisters or only the sister who is my foster. can you pls brief.
Asalam alaikum wa rahmatullah
Dear brothers, my wive's mother has given her Milk to my son, and she is my maternal aunt too, so now what is the relation between my son and my maternal aunt and my wive and my son. Finally what Islam says about this issue Is it forbidden in Islam or what ? Briefly answer it please.
Perviz taza
Normally I would tell you to log in and write your question as a separate post. But the answer to your question is short and simple. There is nothing wrong with the grandmother giving milk to her grandchild. And all of the people you mentioned are already prohibited for marriage to your son (his mother, grandmother, maternal aunts), so it makes no difference. Giving milk does not actually change anyone's relationship in a literal sense.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam Walekum.................
Sir,
if i m the foster sun of my foster mother and she have total 5 sisters then i cannot marry with all the sisters or only the sister who is my foster. can you pls brief.
She has five sisters, or daughters? If they are her sisters, you can marry any of them as long as they are not related to you by blood. If they are her daughters, then they are all prohibited to you, as they are your foster sisters.
If you need more details, then please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dude, I thought if a woman fosters a boy and a girl (both from different parents) and the foster mother has not breast fed either, then they can marry each other, right? And in this case, if the foster mother has her own biological daughter, then she can marry her foster brother too - if he has not been breast fed. Is that right??
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
My understanding of "foster mother" is that she breast feeds the child. That is what my answer was based on. If he has not been breast fed, then by definition he is not a foster brother or foster son.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam Walekum.................
Sir,
if i m the foster sun of my foster mother and she have 3 Daughters the elder one is my foster sister so i can marry with rest of my fostersister of sisters .because i take a bresstfeed with elder sister which became my foster sister. so my parents want to marry me the younger sister of my foster sister. can you pls brief.
Ali,
You have already asked this question as Mansoor. Please do as Brother Wael suggested by logging in and submitting your question a separate post and we will give its due time. We have a queue of people patiently waiting for their questions to be answered.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
When you submit your post, make sure you include details such as how old you were when the breastfeeding occurred, and how many times it took place.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam Walekum.................
Sir,
if i m the foster sun of my foster mother and she have 3 Daughters the elder one is my foster sister so i can marry with rest of my fostersister of sisters .because i take a bresstfeed with elder sister which became my foster sister. so my parents want to marry me the younger sister of my foster sister .And i got brestfeed only one time... is she become my foster motheror not... if she becomes then i can marry her rest of daughters... can you pls brief.
Salam. I have a question regarding this breastfeeding. Nowadays, we can see there are a lot NGO that promote sharing of breast milk among network of women. Women donate their breast milk to mothers who cannot produce milk for their babies. How does the hukm says about this?
I don't have an answer to this. You must ask a mufti about it. I would be curious to know the answer as well.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
salamualikum
i and my cousin were fed by my paternal aunt (his mother ) at the same time. can i marry his elder brother?
plz reply coz its my future matter.
Was the elder brother also breastfed by his mother? If so, then he is your foster brother and you cannot marry him.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
im deeply in love with my cousin.she had drank my mother's milk afteq some months later wen she was born. Anyone doesnt know how many time she had drank my mother's milk. Pls help me out i really love her n want to marry her. Pls mail me soon.
Abdul shoaib, no one has any idea how many times? Was it twice or three times, or was it a consistent thing, happening regularly?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
my mother told me that she had drank only once after 21day of her birth. Can i marry her?
If that's the case then yes, she is not your foster sister and you can marry her. - Wael, IslamicAnswers.com Editor
thanks, bt how to convince our parents. Are there any hadith(with reference) regarding to dis fatwa
pls tell me hadiths(with reference) regarding to dis topic. I want to convence our parents. They are asking to bring hadiths about this. Pls help me out.