I got khula from court against my husband but my family is forcing me to live with him. Is my khula valid?
Asslam o Alaikum:
I got married in march 2007 to my maternal cousin. This was a forced marriage as I didn't want to get married. But my parents emotionally blackmailed me, my husband, his mother and my mother promised me that he won’t demand any physical relation until I complete my education. I agreed on this base. I was 19 years old when I got married. At the very first night my husband wanted to have intercourse. But I did not let him as I was not mentally prepared for all that. I lived with my husband for 11 months but we did not have any physical relations; he used to force me and beat me for sexual relation but I was unable to accept this marriage wholeheartedly and secondly I agreed to marry him on the basis of his promise. During this time I remained mentally disturbed, I tried to accept him and my marriage but I could not. I was abused sexually, physically and psychologically by my husband and my parents. I asked my husband to divorce me but he refused. I asked my parents to get me divorce but they were not even ready to listen about it.
After 11 months (i.e. February 2008) my husband went to UK. Later (January 2009) I also went to UK but again, I wasn’t able to accept him mentally and physically. I lived with him for two months and we didn't have any physical relation. We got separated and I came back to Pakistan; I filed khula case on February 2011 but my husband didnt reply to the court. Before seeking khula I spoke to my husband and told him that I cannot fulfill his sexual needs as hatred fills within me whenever I see him and all the issues between us and requested him to divorce me. He again refused and I spoke to my parents and tried to convince them to get me divorce. When I got disappointed from both sides I filed khula case in Islamabad family court. When court letters were sent to my husband, my parents and my whole family threatened me that if I don't withdraw khula case they will kill me. I lied to my parents that I have withdrawn my case.
On 28 April 2011 court took one sided decision and granted me khula. After khula's case was finalized, my lawyer told me that I have to register for another case in arbitrary council of Islamabad and this case is for getting certificate for second marriage. I filed this case. three letters were to be sent to my husband's address informing him about khula. My family came to know about it and they again forced me to take this second case back otherwise they will harm me and kill me. I asked my lawyer that if I take this case back whether my khula remains same or not. My lawyer told me that my khula has already been done and it cannot be changed even if I take this second case back or not. I took that case back, now my parents and my family doesn't accept my khula; my marital status in NADRA's (Identity card issuing authority) record has been changed from married to divorce.
NADRA doesn't change any record without any proof, I have shown my court documents with judge decision that khula has been finalized to NADRA. My family is illegally trying to revoke my khula case by giving money to my lawyer and they are trying hard to again change my records in NADRA through contacts. My mother cries all day and night and all my family members have started hating me. I love my parents but they force me to go back to him all the time. My parents make Bad DUA for me and I am afraid of their this attitude. They abuse my friends who helped to get khula they abuse me all day and night. I respect them and I was considered to be the most well mannered and obedient girl of my family before this issue. I am unable to live with him; my parents scare me by saying ALLAH will not forgive me and my grave will be miserable if I do not live with him.
My questions are:
1- Is my khula considered valid or not under above mentioned situation?
2- If not, what should I do to get it because my family is continuously forcing me to live with him when I am not ready to live with him and since 2007 I am in a big torment.
3- If I don't obey my parents in this matter shall I be punished by ALLAH? I was not ready to marry my cousin and I gave in just because of the pressure from my parents and my niyat (intention) was to live with him and even after making my intentions pure I was not able to accept him.
16 Responses »
Leave a Response