Is our nikah broken?
Our four years of marriage has gone without any intimacy or feelings and in only 1st month of marriage we've had relationship. After the month he started denying our nikah and me as his wife. But my husband didn't touch me for four years except the first month of marriage. Now my question is that he doesn't accept me as his wife. So is our nikah broken? And if it is not broken then it is not a sin that he is not fulfilling his duties? Is he free to do anything he wants? Before marriage he loved someone else. He married me because of our parents. We have a boy because of one month of relationship. I loved him but he always tried to stay away from me. I never talked to him loudly or demanded anything except love and intimacy. I have desire to be loved and have sex. I don't want to take divorce. What should I do?
mahwish.ali
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Well he had sex with you during the first month. How did it exactly stop? Like he was OK doing sex one day and suddenly he stopped any kind of intimacy.
After the month he started denying our nikah and me as his wife........ Did he give you reason for doing that?
You still his wife
I think you should tell him that you wish to have a normal marriage with a normal intimate relationship. That is part of marriage. You can ask his parents to speak with him, or a neutral mediator.
If he continues to disagree, them you have some hard decisions to make. It sounds like he has checked out of the marriage and does not care for you (I'm sorry to say that). You deserve to be loved and cherished!
4 yrs straight ? This is Strange!!! I think your husband's heart is still attached to that of his 1st lover's. Maybe, this may explain his behavior. It is possible that he may still be in love with the woman he was with before you but let's hope not. Let's hope it's something else.
Assalaamu Alaykum,
One way or the other your husband is doing something sinful. If somehow he is correct (which honestly, I don't see the evidence that he is) that your nikkah is broken, and he is still living with you and interacting with you regularly (despite the fact he is not sexual with you), then that is haraam.
If your nikkah is not broken, and you are still married, and he is denying you sexual rights, that is haraam.
So either way, your husband is doing something wrong here. If he doesn't want you as a wife, he should be a man and give you a proper divorce and stop keeping you in a painful limbo where your marital rights are denied continuously.
If he is not willing to keep you as a wife and give you your sexual rights, that makes him sinful. If he can't let go of who he used to love, you shouldn't be made to suffer paying the price for that. You deserve better.
If I were you, I would think seriously about how long you want to continue like this. Expecting things to change at this point are very unlikely. I personally wouldn't be able to tolerate being in a sexless marriage; I would want out. So what do YOU want? Are you ok to go on as you have in the last 4 years? Or do you want to ask for your freedom (as is your right in such cases) and move on into something better than this in shaa Allah?
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor