Istikhara for marriage based on birth dates and names
assalam o alikum
my name is sohail ur rehman my mother name is shahnaz begum. i want to marry with tanzila nisar daughter of hashema nisar (mother name). family are allowed to marry me? plz istikhara me. thank you. plz reply me soon.
Brother Sohail, Wa alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah,
That is not how Istikhara prayer works. It's not a mathematical formula where you plug in some names and dates and star signs, and the machine hums and out pops your answer.
I was shocked recently when I came across the website of a so-called health care group in Pakistan that has an "Istikhara for marriage form" on their website where you enter the names of the prospective bride and groom, the names of their mothers, the birthdates including exact time and place of birth, and voila, they give you an answer! They don't even want to know anything about the situation, or the character of the parties, or anything at all except for names and dates.
Astaghfirullah! They have removed Allah from the matter altogether! They have replaced Allah with a formula based on names and dates. This is utter garbage and shirk, calling upon other than Allah for guidance. It is a big sin.
That is not istikhara, brothers and sisters! Istikhara does not depend on names and birth dates!
This practice is a holdover or carryover from Hinduism. Among Muslims, it is seen primarily in Muslims of the subcontinent (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh). These Muslims historically were converts from Hinduism, and they have continued to live with Hindus as their neighbors for hundreds of years. Many Hindus rely heavily on Vedic Astrology and numerology to make decisions, and among the main tools they use in their astrological calculations are names and birth dates. For example here is a description of the Hindu book "Numerology with Tantra, Ayurveda and Astrology" by Harish Johari:
"Indian Numerology" gives descriptions of the character and destiny of people. based on their birth date. It explains how to determine. the psychic number, name number, and destiny number;. how these numbers relate to each of the nine planets,. and how they apply to every aspect of life... "Indian. Numerology" gives recommendations regarding strong. and weak periods of day or year, favorable colors and. precious stones to be worn, and meditations and mantras. to be practiced for health and prosperity. "Indian. Numerology" also illustrates the Vedic Square and. the visual patterns that can be derived from it, (and)... on the interpretations of numbers and their relationship to one another.
It's not my intention to insult Hindus or Hinduism. They have their beliefs, and we have ours. We are not Hindus and we do not make decisions using numerology.
Islam considers all such things to be shirk and association of partners with Allah. This has absolutely nothing to do with Istikhara. In fact it is the polar opposite and it represents one of the primary differences between Muslims and mushrikeen (those who associate partners with Allah).
Istikhara is a sincere prayer that you make to Allah alone, in which you name the matter on which you need guidance, and ask Allah to guide you. It is a matter of turning to Allah with sincerity in your heart and then trusting Him to guide you to the best choice.
It has nothing to do with names, dates, numbers, planets, or precious stones. Nor is it necessarily a matter of getting a sign or a dream.
Please educate yourself about Istikhara by reading some of the articles on our website:
And Allah knows best.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, I invite you to post your comments below.
(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.
- Wael Abdelgawad
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