Istikhara has been un-clear
Assalam o alaikum
Dear brother/sister
Here is my situation. Please advise using your best knowledge.
I liked a girl. I couldn't approach her in college because she was in a relationship. She got engaged later with that guy who was her own choice and for whom she had to go against her family. She did istekhara for him, and istekhara wasn't in support of marriage. She lied. Later it didn't work and the engagement ended. Then a year passed by. I came to know this. I approached her.
She did istekhara about "is he a good person" it showed yes he is a good person.
Then she did istekhara about "can we get married?" and she saw a dream that we're getting married in the same year.
I proposed to her. She agreed. But then I went jobless and so the involvement of families got delayed until I got a job again. Then my family met them (after 6 months of my proposal!). My mother didn't talk to her when she went as she wasn't in a good mood about me doing marriage with my own choice. She felt it. Later she saw a random dream that my mother is asking her to clean the washroom.
Then my mother agreed to the situation. Her parents came over. And everything went fine. She told me that her parents said my house is small and I don't own a car, but the rest is all fine. I said ok these are short term problems, and totally addressable.
Then came the istekhara again. She did istekhara with namaz and istekhara-dua for "how will our marriage go". She saw a dream her brother is saying "there will be problems with your marriage, you will feel dependency and _____. She got worried. And decided that she will do istekhara again.
First day she saw nothing.
Second day she saw irrelevant dreams.
Third day she saw that "I am saying everything will be fine, and family is saying there will be issues"
Tell me please. what should we do about this now?
I did istekhara twice. and saw nothing.
Thanks and regards
Ahmadraza
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AsSalaamu Alaikum brother,
First of all, she was in a relationship + she lied = a question mark about her deen and character.
Secondly, with regard to the correct way of Islamic Istikhara, you only ask Allah to make the thing happen if it is good for you in your deen and dunya. You don't expect any (Yes or No) answer in dreams.
If it's true that she saw the things she said about her dreams, then chances are they are all reflections of what her family and brother have been saying to her in real life. For example, when she saw in her dream that "her family is saying there will be issues" may have something to do with what her parents told her in real life, that "your house is small and you don't own a car". And when she saw about "you saying to her that everything will be fine" may have something to do with what you said to her in real life that, "these are short term problems, and totally addressable"
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My dear brother, think about everything carefully, and make the right decision.
Hope this helps, and Allah knows best.
Salam everyone,
I deeply urge that WE ALL muslim need to be seriously study well in "Islam" and of course the general knowledge as well. Whenever I see post about performing istikhara, it makes me stun and nauseate.
She is treating istikhara as a crystal ball. (Is he a good person? How's our marriage go? ) Please read the section here in how to perform istikhara. Please don't let people think that Islam is a superstitious religion.
Wa 'alaikom alsalam wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatuh!
Let her take some time and seriously decide what SHE wants. She has to make up her mind about whether she wants to marry you and whether she is willing to invest her time, effort, loyalty, trust et.c. in this marriage and to give it everything she can to make it work. If she doesn't really want to be in it, it is unlikely the marriage will work and yet more unlikely you'll be happy together. She has to clear her mind about what she wants first hand and then she can take her family's concerns it account. And as brother Issah suggested, maybe it would be good if she revised the way she does istikhara.
As for you, my brother, you need to take some time and seriously and thoroughly rethink your decision to marry her. Are you absolutely sure you want to enter wedlock with her? Why is it that your so insistent on marrying just her? Is it something worldly like looks, social status or fortune or something lasting like good character and piety? And, most importantly, do you think she will help you become a better person, a better Muslim and attain jannah? And, of course, you should keep on doing istikhara.
May Allah guide you and eid mubarak!