Islamic marriage advice and family advice

In love with a saudi man who is on a student visa

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My name is Gaby and in my opinion I'm in a difficult situation. I met a guy from saudi arabia who is here in the u.s.a to study english and go to college. He has a student visa (f-1) and we are very much in love but his family doesnt know about me.

I'm catholic and mexican so there are differences between both cultures. Of course my parents are very happy with the relationship but what really concerns me is his family. He doesnt want to tell them and if what if we want to get married someday? Is it possible when he is here on a student visa?

I will soon be a u.s.a citizen, currently have my greencard. I need some advice on what to do. Sometimes I feel like his family wont ever accept me and it scares me cause I really love him and he has proved to me that he does too! Im willing to do a lot for this relationship!


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68 Responses »

  1. Gaby, you are indeed in a tough situation. Please tread carefully here. There are several issues here that need to be addressed. First of all the student visa. The issue here is that this guy may very well just be here to study and eventually go back home after all is said and done. Many times this is what happens, not necessarily because of the guy but his family. The second issue is the difference in religion/culture. Although there may be similarities between islam and christianity, there are differences as well. The differences in culture may also be something that cannot be easily accomodated. Lastly and most importantly, the fact that he has NOT told his parents about you is of great concern. You have probably noticed quite a few threads/posts here where women (such as yourself) have been in relationships with muslim men and they can't/won't tell their parents because they are too scared or don't feel that the time is right. The fact of the matter is that these guys deep down know that their families probably won't accept these girls or that there would be such a struggle that they feel that it wouldn't be worth it. I'm not sure how long you have been with this guy but if you really want to have an idea of what direction this relationship is heading, I would highly suggest that you have him introduce/tell his family about you. This may sound like you are giving him an ultimatum and in a sense it is. But it is necessary (in my opinion) to avoid loss of time and investing more into this relationship only to see that it doesn't work out in the end and you are left with a lot of hurt. Sometimes we go into situations with the best of intentions thinking that any and all obstacles can be overcome. The fact of the matter is that sometimes these obstacles are just too great and they are that way for a reason. I hope that this helps and it finds you in good spirit.

    • how can somebody answer this question honey we dont know your situation. talk with your boyfriend and get to know him and his culture better. they can be really friendly. i'v been with my saudi husband for 9 years after we met in the states and im currently happily living in riyadh. but you will have to give up something in order to learn some new ones. just be open minded and patient.
      ps its a very intresting culture.

      • Hi. I have a question. How did you move to Saudi Arabia? How did you marry your husband?
        What papers did you need for that?And i also heard that you need a permition from Saudi Arabia's government,is that true?
        Thank you

  2. As salamu alaykum Gaby,

    I would emphasize he is far from home, he is alone, nobody is watching, he is behaving different from his expected behaviour as muslim, I don´t know how he has shown to you that he loves you, but I will tell you something that may open your eyes.

    A muslim man if he is interested in a woman should propose her, then the first thing to think about is marriage, not the last one. An other clue is that for him parents aproval of this relationship is important, he cannot date with you or any other woman...ask him about dating, proposing, parents approval? Talk to him directly about what is going on with both of you, it is not enough he loves you and is showing it to you, the main ways that a muslim man should show are not shown by him, here. Why is he hidden you from his parents? Do you want to be a secret in his life? Do you deserve that? If you marry and have children what will happen? Think about it.

    All my Unconditional Love and Respect,

    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. ASSALAAM ALAYKUM
    I am a Saudi student also studding at Penn State, PA now, my advice for you is be careful with your relationship, i am afraid he just looking for someone to enjoy his live with! ask him from which city in Saudi Arabia, if he is from Jadah then his his family may accept you as a wife for there son, if he is from other place like Riyadh or Quseem ..., then his family will not accept this. i am tilling this for you because i don't like you ending with bad experience with one Saudi then you are going to generalize this.

    • Mohammad, thanks for your comment. I'm curious, why is there such a difference in attitudes between Jeddah and Riyadh?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Jadah city is near the holy city" Makkah" for this reason, Jadah population is a combination of diverse people from all the world and it is easy for them to accept others even if they are different.

    • Thank you for telling her. I'm a Saudi girl but nobody told me that before I meet him. My father's family not originally Arabic and my mother was Turkish. I meet him here in the USA. I meet him when he was studying at the English Institute. Now he is studying at University of Maryland Engineering he told me that he is from Yanboaa. However, after a year full of promises suddenly he changed, he became to another person. All kind of bad word you can imagine I heard it from him. I was admitted to the hospital because of him with a nervous breakdown unable to stop crying and talking. They really like to play.

      • I just want add he told me that he is original and I'm not. I really was not sure what he was talking about.

      • I'm glad you have realized that , yes most Saudi guys are players and those who are serious are very rare ...

        • Yeah, but it was too late. I still love him. She is American but I'm Saudi like him why would he do that?.

          • well i don't know about your situation but some Saudis despise even Saudis who are 2nd and 3nd generation and describe them as "not original ", but don't you know about Saudi men , didn't you live there?

          • No, I do not live in Saudi!

          • well that makes sense , if you have lived here long enough you would have known how women are treated here , i'm not exaggerating but they are treated like slaves for the rest of their lives

        • Khalid,

          Why do you generalize that most Saudi guys are players? Men of all walks of life are players, not just Saudis.

          Salam

          • Why do you generalize that most Saudi guys are players? Men of all walks of life are players, not just Saudis.

            Just like women of all walks of life are feminist and no angels .

          • i didn't mean to generalize , i meant Saudi students in the US are mostly players when it comes to a relationship with American girls they see it as short term relationship and have no intention to stay in that relationship after they are done with their education

  4. Dear Gaby,

    I think you should carefully think about this relationship. Ask him to introduce you to his parents. I think he is afraid to tell his parents because the different in religions. Your parents seems to be open-minded. So why do not you tell him that he can tell his family that you (Gaby) may get a Muslim one day down the road. I think this may help him to introduce you to his parents. I hope this would help.

  5. Hi Gaby,

    I am an American married to a Saudi and for what it's worth, I will add my two sense here in this forum. I met my husband when I was sixteen years old. He was twenty one and he too was here in the United States on an F1 visa to study. Long story short, we married but the sacrifices that we have both had to make have been many. Although I have lived in Saudi on and off over the last thirty years, I simply could not adjust. I love my husbands family and they love me too. We all get along extremely well and I was loved from the moment I joined his family. His family have always accepted me and treat me as if I'm the girl next door. I speak Arabic fluently and I made an effort to learn the language because I wanted to. The American girl within me simply could not adjust to living in Saudi although I know of many American woman who have married and lead happy lives and are very happy in Saudi. My husband was very honest with me from the get go. He told me there might be weeks when I might find myself not leaving my home. I was fine with that...I was in love, no problem...not. As you mature and come into your own...who you are, you come to realize that it's just not your cup of tea. At least for me, thats how it was.

    Years ago, the Saudi government made it almost impossible to marry a foreigner. The problem is, many Saudi women are not getting married due to Saudi men marrying foreigners. My husband works in the Saudi government and although I don't know the specifics, chances of your marriage being approved by the Saudi government will be very difficult if not impossible.

    Mohammed is correct when it comes to the acceptance of this young mans parents of you. People from say, Medina or Jeddah are relatively cool and although may not be too happy in the beginning about their son wanting to wed a foreigner...they may come around at a later time. If they are from Riyadh or Qaseem, chances are they will be very much against it and no matter what you do, there are going to be problems no matter what you do.

    Six kids and thirty years later I will just say that if I could do it all over again would I do it? No, no and...no. Each of us has sacrificed a lot. He lives in the United States and he isn't happy all the time. He has periods of depression and of course who does he take out his frustration on? Me. Me and our children. He would tell you the same thing in fact...he has had Saudi's come to him and ask his opinion on marrying an American or a foreigner because they see that he married an American woman. You know what his answer is and always will be? You guessed it, the answer will be..."don't do it".

    Are you going to listen to me here in this forum? Probably not. Your in love and love is a powerful thing. My husband knew my family well before marrying me. We, like you were very much in love and at times we both knew the right thing to do was for each of us to go our separate ways but...neither one of us would. We weren't willing to...we were in love. All I can say to you from one woman to another is this...life comes around but once. We get no do overs...none. This man will be much better off marrying within his own people. Yeah...I know some people on this board might criticize my wording here but hey...I have lived it, I'm not just talking here about something I know nothing about. He will ultimately return to live and work in Saudi when he is done, that's how it is. The only advice I can offer here from someone who has been down this road is find strength within yourselves to end things before you get too deep. I know what I'm talking about here. Whether you choose to hear what I say is ultimately up to you. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide.

  6. Personally I would NOT advise you, as a U.S. resident, to marry a Saudi man. Are you planning to move to Saudi with him? Most of these men are very close to their families and plan to spend most of their time in their own country. FYI, BIG FYI: you MUST understand the crucial control that the mother and father of the Saudi man have over their son, and will have over the daughter-in-law. My big advice is, get to know the in-laws. Talk to other relatives such as wives of cousins, etc. Find out what kind of dynamics the family has. Some are easy going, but some are very old school. Be prepared that the mother and father-in-law will often have nearly full control and knowledge of everything related to the new daughter in law, sex, number of children she will have, how she will decorate her home, how she will treat the in laws, etc etc etc. IF this is not straight before marriage then you need to run FAR AWAY. If this man is not forthcoming about his parents, then that says it all. He is hiding the control factor. RUN. He knows that they will never accept you. Mohammed is 100% right about the Riyadh vs. Jeddah mindset. People from Jeddah are more open-minded and liberal but they are still Saudi. You might have a chance at happiness if your man is from a liberal family but still you won't be accepted as a they would a Saudi woman. Saudis are very racist amd xenophobic in general. They look down on everyone that isn't tribal. So, even if you become a Saudi, you're still not one of them unless your father is. You will never be accepted into the society as part of it and you will live as an outsider if you move there.

    Have you thought about your life if you moved to Saudi Arabia with him? You are in love right now so you are blinded to the reality of what it would be like. Saudi Arabia is a man's world. As a woman you have almost none of the freedoms that you have in America. Your entire happiness will fully depend upon your husband and whether he's accommodating to you or not; you will be completely at his mercy. Your husband has the upper hand, and if he's the type to use it, you could be in big trouble. Please think about this. Can you imagine not being able to go for a walk alone, not being able to drive a car, not being able to open your own bank account or business without your husband's permission, not being able to receive medical care without a man's permission? Saudis lead different lives when not in their home country. Don't ever think that he will stay the same. He probably won't for the most part. 99.9% of the time they will become the regular Saudi that we all read about in the news. You will probably live together but separate lives with your husband. If he divorces you, you will not get half of anything...even if you put in half of the money, unless you get it in writing. He may have other children with other wives that you will never be aware of until he dies. You do not have the support system the Saudis have if anything goes wrong in your marriage. Here, the girls go back to live with their father or their brother. As a foreigner, your children can be taken from you, you can lose your house, and you can be kicked out at will and sent packing back to your country, and there's nothing you can do about it (May Allah swt protect you from all of that but it happens very often). Most Western women go there and complain from the time they arrive until the time they leave.

    My *biggest*advice to you if you really are going to go through with this is to make sure you understand your future together. Think a million times before you take a huge gamble with your and your future children's lives. Where you will live? Will he let you leave Saudi Arabia alone or with the kids? What happens to you and the kids if he dies or you get a divorce? I would say DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH HIM, practice very strict birth control unless you plan to stay in your own country or U.S.A. and never visit Saudi. If you do move there, please don't have children for at least three or four years, just so you know what kind of husband and family you are dealing with first.

    Also, read, read, and read. First of all, you should study Islam. The more you understand about the religion, the more you will understand your husband, your in-laws, your neighbors, and the society as a whole.

    Secondly, you should also study Arabic, so that you will have a basis for more learning upon your arrival. It will make things a lot easier with family and social interactions.

    Thirdly, you should try to involve yourself with other Saudis. This will give you some insight into cultural differences, and help you to integrate easier should you move there.

    Finally, I would advise any Muslim getting married or anyone thinking of marrying a Muslim, whether to a Saudi or otherwise, to study the Qur'an and hadiths and what they say regarding marriage and divorce. This will give you a clear idea about rights and responsibilities for both wives and husbands, which can clarify things during any difficulties they might experience later on. Many women do not know that they they are fully in control of the marriage contract. A woman could say in the contract that she does not want a second wife or anything else as long as it is not forbidden in Islam. Many women are converts and do not know they can make these conditions. The Muslim men know but don't mention it to their fiancee.

    May Allah swt make it easy for you.

  7. gaby, i had a huge long comment typed up, but when i tried to post it it got deleted, so...here's what i had in a nutshell:

    1. his family MUST know about you. even if it's just that you are his friend and he is spending time with you. the fact that he refuses to tell his family that you even exist is a HUGE red flag.

    2. does he let you hang out with him and his male friends? if he does--that's another red flag. in the saudi culture, men and women simply do not mix--it's even considered disrespectful for one man to offhandedly inquire about the health/well-being of another's wife, as would be polite in american society. if he lets you spend time with his friends, he's not thinking of you as wife material.

    3. learn about islam. alhamdulillah, i converted from catholicism to islam almost a year ago (with no pressure, and honestly, very little guidance from my saudi fiancé--although he was thrilled by my interest in islam, he said that he didn't want to get involved in it because it had to be a choice that i made for myself. but when i was sure i wanted to convert, he was all too happy to hear my shahada). not saying that you must convert to islam, but at the very least you must understand it.

    i wish you the best of luck, gaby, and i hope you get through this experience with a minimal amount of tears, inshallah--because trust me, there will be some. but only you can decide if your saudi is worth those tears. he may or may not be.

  8. I have been in your situation Gaby and i just want you to be very careful!!! I dated a saudi guy for over a year and they are amazing guys, don't get me wrong but they will only break your heart. I'm middle eastern and muslim so we wouldn't have had a big culture clash however after 7 months of dating i asked him where our relationship was heading, did we possibly have marriage in the future and he kept talling me he didn't know and would change the subject after a year i got sick of being a secret girlfriend and told him he ever had to give me an answer about where this is going and tell his parents or it's over. He told me that he would tell his parents but if they said no then we would have to end it. His family is from jeddah and they said no because they wanted a saudi female for him so we ended it. I have a lot of middle eastern girlfriends who have dated saudi guys and they are all in my situation, where the parents say no and the saudi guy leaves them heart broken. I think its best to leave this guy alone and meet an american guy, i'm not trying to be rude when i say this. I've meet a decent muslim man (whom i'm engaged to) who has told me from the begining he wants marriage in the future and has told his family about me and it's refreshing !! So please don't sell your self short!! and don't waste time in a futureless relationship!!

  9. HI,to all,
    I like to informyou that ,iam asaudi man ,please, take a strong desicion and leave this guy as soon as possible so you will not be avicitm of culture and traditions ,look for your life and future.
    Good luck

  10. Hi Gaby.. How are you??.. I'm from Venezuela.. I'm in the same position as you are.. I would like to share my history with you and I wanna know about how are you now? I would like to talk to you apart, by email, msn or something else.. just response me and then we can connect each other by email. Thanks for your post, I'm also afraid about to take a decision.. I'm waiting for your answer.. ;) Cuidate.. chau!

    • Hi Angela
      how are you ?
      I'm from Saudi Arabia ,.. I'm in the same position as you both , there are a lot of complicated things. Even though my family know her well and they like her so much, and they tell she will adopt the life style. Still there are a lot of complicated thing. She like you. She is from south america. I hope things get better in future. Good luck

    • Angela, do you have any information on the matter? I hate to say it, but I'm on the same situation here. I'm from Mexico. Do you think we could talk?

  11. hi Gaby, my advise is to stay away unless you both want to live i the US , he may not able to get married to you and take to Saudi Arabia a for the following reasons

    - if he is on a government scholarship he would lose his scholarship if he marries you
    - he need a permission to marry a foreigner which is near impossible and take years some people waited years to get married
    - his parents approval specially you being a non Saudi and non Muslim
    - Saudi Arabia is the world s largest prison for women , women have no rights , you cant drive, you cant leave the country with husbands permission
    - if you get divorced forget about taking your kids to the US.

    • 'Saudi Arabia is the world's largest prison for women...'

      Hmm, Khaled, I think thats somewhat exaggerated, don't you?

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • unfortunately it is the truth. i lived in S. Arabia for 20 years so iam talking from an experience , are you from saudi arabia , sister ?

        • No I don't. So you probably know better than myself :O).

          Its so unfortunate that women are not given their God given rights in the very land that the Quran was revealed.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  12. just to add , today the Saudi Parliament introduced a new law , any Saudi man marrying a non GCC(Cooperation Council for the Arab States of the Gulf) citizen will be fined 100,000 Saudi riyals (27,000 USD) ..

    http://arabnews.com/saudiarabia/article462845.ece

    • Khalid,

      The fine is not automatic if I understand the article correctly. The article states the following:

      Secretary-General Muhammed Al-Ghamdi explained that applications for marriages where a Saudi marrying a non-Saudi from countries outside the GCC should be made three months prior to the official Nikah ceremony.

      Of course, it remains to be seen who will decide upon the applications and what the criteria will be in the determination if one's application is approved or not.

      I understand the Saudi's are implementing this law as it seems many Saudi men are marrying women outside their own country thus leaving many Saudi women unmarried. I for one do not see that this will deter a Saudi man who has found in a halal manner, a good muslim women (or non Muslim for that matter) from outside of the GCC. Time will be the determining factor in all of this. I am also curious as to how the Ministry of Social Affairs plan to go about collecting the ridiculous fines that have been set. This aught to be interesting.

      Salam

      • i read about the new law in Arabic , the bottom line is that Saudi cannot marry a non GCC woman . period . why? they stated that marrying a Saudi man is an easy path to "Saudi citizenship" !!
        Saudis see foreigners as "slaves" , housemaids, drivers.... who shouldn't have any rights and if you see the comments of Saudis on news websites you think you are in the in "racial segregation era in the US" , you hear comments like "get those foreigners out of here" and "anyone who marry a Saudi should be deported "... , and sadly this is the position of most of Saudis toward foreigners , it a society that filled with hatred of anyone who is not Muslim or Saudi , and for those who want to marry a Saudi guy , , your guy could be the most decent guy in the world but if you are thinking to live in his country , you are putting yourself into a lot troubles ز

    • Woow.. I feel really bad about it.. I have a Saudi boyfriend.. and I love him and I wanna get marry with him.. I knew before we can't, because he said something about Saudis original and not original.. :S it is a little bit weard for me! so I stopped talking about this subject but I still feel bad that I can't be happy in the future with a person who I want.

      Now, I feel worst.. not too much about myself.. about saudis.. who can decide for you who do u wanna marry ??? What happen with the saudi government. There are many things that I like about Saudi Government. But this, wooow it is really really hard to believe!

      I'm Catholic.. but I just read this and is very true

      Let me remind those who are giving more preference over culture and races and discriminations over arab and non arab issue even in marriages.

      Prophet Muhammad's last sermon: "[O' People! Listen to my words, for I do not know whether we shall ever meet again and perform Hajj after this year. O' Ye people! Allah says, "O Humankind verily We! We have created you Of a male and female, and We have made you nations and tribes that ye might know one another. Verily the noblest of you with Allah is the most God-fearing of you;" (Suratul Hujraat, Ayat Number 13)

      There is no superiority for an Arab over non-Arab and for a non-Arab over an Arab, nor for the white over the black nor for the black over the white except in God-consciousness.]"

      Good luck to everyone who is in a sitution as gaby or me.. Gos bless us to in the future don't take a wrong decision.

      • sorry!

        **God Bless us..

        • Angela,

          The answer to your question cannot come in one post.

          I advise you to begin to read the Qur'an, understand it, remember it and act upon it. Once a person begins to do that, he/she starts fitting in to a pattern of life which is in a natural state of existence of a human being.

          Do the stars and the earth and the trees and the mountains and oceans keep on deviating, going here and there?

          If they did so, we would be in trouble. So they submit to Allah. The stand fast by His command. And they praise Him.

          We human beings are given a will, so we go to other ways which do not benefit us and hence go astray and suffer, but Allah The Merciful brings back to His path whom He wills.

          So once you come to know of the Straight Path of Allah, Insha Allah, you would be able to understand life better and not seek "answers" to all happenings in life, because we humans know absolutely nothing except what Allah wills.

          So I invite you to this way, where you take up the Qur'an with the intention of knowing the Truth of life. If you do so, Insha Allah, your heart will come in contact with Allah, the Creator of all things.

          Salaam,
          Munib.

      • hi Angela, the people who believe in the verse you mentioned above do not exist anymore , some Saudi don't even marry out side their tribe let alone an Arab or a non Muslim

        • But with this verse of not being racist, there are verses in the Qur'an which command us not to fall in to pre marital relationships.

          So Saudi "boy friend" should not first of all make a girl friend, either catholic or a Saudi girl.

          Salaam,
          Your brother.

          • Hi.. yes.. it is true!
            Anyway.. I respect all of you about religion, culture and tradition .. and also I like some parts of your culture.. the thing that I'm not gonna understand for the rest of my life is, why can't I be happy with the person who I love, just because other persons! :(..
            everyday I ask the same to myself.. and I didn't find an answer yet!..

            Massalam!

        • Khaled,

          You seem to have alot of info. I have been dating a Saudi student and now im pregnant by him. I have no idea what my rights and his are? Can you help?

          • hi moes girl ,

            - under Saudi law, children outside of wed-lock are not recognized , especially from a foreign women , as of your boyfriend he is in a very difficult situation , premarital sex is considered a great sin and having a child out of wedlock is cause for great shame ,and i cant imagine a Saudi family to accept such a thing , did he tell his family?

            if he is wants to marry you , and he is a student on a government scholarship he will lose the scholarship , and he needs permission from his government to marry a foreigner .

            being a wife of a Saudi living in Saudi Arabia is very difficult let alone having a kid out of wedlock, in my opinion , in my opinion i think if he wants to stay with you and his kid his only option is stay with you in the US

            Khaled A.

  13. Hello Gaby,

    I can totally relate to your situation. I too am Mexican American and was raised in the Catholic faith. I met a Saudi guy here on a student visa and we continue to go out and have fun together. I have accepted oneday he will go back to Saudi and I will be in USA. From what he has told me, it is very difficult to marry a non-Saudi woman if he is here on a student visa. Unfortunately the Saudi government has much control of this. Their education is funded by government, and they are given a monthly stipend for expenses. Therefore they are caught in a bind. The Saudi man I am dating is liberal in thinking compared to most Saudi men, however his family still lives in Saudi and he will go back oneday.

    My advice to you would be to enjoy your time with him and learn from your experiences with him. I intend to keep my friendship with Abdul for a very long time. He enjoys Mexican food my culture, I enjoy Arabic food and his culture. This will oneday bring peace to the world. When we can all live in harmony and accept one another.

    For now his wisdom, kindness and companionship.

    They say sometimes love just isn't enough.

    • Fatimah,

      Why don't you accept Islam and marry him? Problem solved.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • no body should convert yo islam just to marry someone , who are you fooling ? god?

        • Khaleda,

          I said 'accept Islam', not 'fake Islam'. InshaAllah, this may be the thing that triggers her to learn about Islam, so inshaAllah she will only 'accept' Islam if she finds sense in it.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • UPDATE: I'm Fatimah and well I have now been dating Saudi guy for 1 year and he tells me he plans to stay in the states after his studies. He doesn't think highly of Saudi society. He speaks against the monarchy and against the separation of men and women. I hope he stays here because he is my best friend. Neither one us is highly religious, though we respect each others backgrounds. Its beautiful, he Saudi and me Mexican/American. How beautiful we meet in the USA. We respect each other as human beings first and support each others dreams.

  14. Salam : )
    All posts above are informative and interesting! I wonder what happened to Gaby and Angela now?! Wonder what will happen to these strict governmental Saudi laws in the coming future? Will it be the same few years from now? As the society is going through some sort of transitional transformation this going to be very fast paced seen after the large amount of students come back from the us.
    The coming future has a lot of surprises to show us if we are lucky enough to be alive till 2050: )

  15. I broke up with Saudi man yesterday although he is a man I first time love with. It is hard to deal with a guy who have totally different background.

  16. I was also here in a student visa. Then I marred a girl (my wife) who was an newly become American citizen. We're going to have a baby in August. My advice is, go ahead and marry him at the earliest possible time. Have the marriage certificate handy. Make sure you file I-130 form as soon as you marry to show your relationship with your husband to the USCIS. I have a lot of Saudi friends. Saudi guys never betray with people. Just make sure you make him a permanent resident as soon as you marry so that he can be tracked by the US law enforcement agencies (God knows if something unpleasant thing happens, he'll be on your fingertip).

    Christian and Jewish girls don't need to be converted to Islam to marry a Muslim man according to the Holy Quran.

    We live in Florida. E-mail me if you need detailed advice at **********
    (NB: DO not post your email addresses here, thank you, Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

    • u should not be so sure when you say saudi NEVER betray with people. i laughed when i read this. any man on this planet is perfect honest. i know you love your nationality and maybe too much but dont exagarate to say such thing lol i know khaleej very well, lot of them love to say my people never do that or is the best. Just human are all still human, none is superior, and none is perfect. shaytan is everywhere, even among people who lives in holy place as Makkah. i caught someone stealing my phone in madina, and he was saudi teenager loool.
      let us be modest and say truth that every woman should not believe any man whatever his nationality unless he acts direct as muslim by making the mariage concrete.

  17. Dear Mr. Editor,

    I didn't really understand what was the problem in sharing my e-mail address.

    Please explain. THanks

    • We don't allow people to list personal contact information here. Many of the questioners who post here are in very vulnerable situations and someone who is unscrupulous could take advantage of that. I'm not saying you would do that. I'm sure you are a very honest and sincere brother. It is just a general rule that we have. If you want to offer further advice, you can do it publicly here, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  18. There are many lies About Saudi Arabia There are Western elements Trying to distort the picture.
    Women in Saudi Arabia can go out alone. Women in Saudi Arabia can open a bank account of her own. Women have a separate license for her husband.
    But racists Westerners claim to reverse this.
    . Do not believe everything that is said.
    But I like To remind you. Do not think at all Having sexual relations with him Before marriage.
    If he really loves His will tell his family .
    I think he was waiting for To see if you will become a Muslim Because it is Will be easier To convince his family

  19. as I read all the post here, i find it so informative. i'm a filipina and i work in saudi military hospital as a nurse before. i met one saudi there, and i fell in love with him but in 2008 i need to go back in my country for some personal reason. until now we still have communication through emails, and texts. i know it will not end in marriage. i've learn that you can't make someone to love you, but all you can do is be someone who can be loved.

  20. There are many reasons Make the most of the Saudis Do not think to marry abroad.
    and There are reasons Makes the Saudi government Put obstacles in front of it.
    If you want to be A clear idea on the subject.
    See this link.
    http://taraummomar.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-2-cents-on-saudi-marriage-process.html

  21. I am utterly broken up with a Saudi who i really love. Too much reasons for us spilt. i am tried to continue. hopefully i do not date with any Saudi men anymore in the future.

    • Anyway, im indonesian. Now i have the same story like all of u.
      (Remainder of question deleted. Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. Alternately you may find an answer to your question through a search of existing questions and answers - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  22. Salam alaikom

    Im indonesian. But i hv the same story like all of u girls. My boy friend living in dammam, but originaly he is kuwait but bcoz he born in saudi, so he nationality is saudi. Anyway, to the point , i hv a question and this is very important. Can he marry a girl whos wasnt virgin???
    Example : i read up the story bout american girl with saudi in usa are lover, and i know n sure they are living together, so its doesnt mean they are not do nothing.
    Im open minded person. Bcoz now i know the life is modern and we must open eyes and look around. Life is nver flat, life is beauty if we fill with real love.

    But my problem, my soul mate from saudi country.
    I really wish can marry him but im pesimistic.

    All of u can answer my problem?

    Thx u

    • Zooza,

      Simply being born in Saudi Arabia will not grant one citizenship...it is not an automatic. I know of some who have been living in Saudi Arabia for a period of twenty years and have just attained citizenship.

      Your answer to this man marrying a non virgin is yes....he can in fact marry a non virgin. However, if you will read the many posts above, you will find that it is nearly impossible for him to attain the approval for marriage from the proper authorities within Saudi.

      Salam

  23. Hi
    Is there anyone who married a Saudi and moved to Saudi Arabia?
    And if it is possible to provide me with some information on how to get the government's permition and what are the basic requirements?
    Thank you

    • Sister Maria,

      I married a Saudi and lived there for 14 years. I have lived in Yanbu, Makkah and Jeddah. The people are wonderful and I look forward to visit yearly for about six weeks but as for living there...not for me. I returned to the United States 13 years ago.The only one who could possibly fight for you obtaining a visa would be a spouse or, if you acquired a job locally there would be another avenue for you. An employer would act as your sponsor.

      Long ago the process was lengthy and difficult...today it is even more difficult and nearly impossible from what I read.

      Salam

      • Thank you for your responce
        But we are about to get married. I am a citizen of Russia and have a green card in US, and he is also a student. But we want to do it with the government permition.
        But how did you get a permition from the government?
        I really need some help and advice with that

        • Maria,

          If this man you want to marry is in the United States as a student, he can go to the Saudi Embassy and make his request. He will fill out paperwork which will be forwarded to Saudi Arabia to the offices of the Ministry of Interior. If he is living in Saudi Arabia, he would visit the offices of the Ministry of Interior and make his request.

          This would need to be done prior to you getting married. I do not want to paint any picture here of this being an easy task...it is not. The whole process is difficult and time consuming. When my husband applied for approval of marriage to me, it took three years to get approval. Even then, he was rejected several times. He never gave up but he seriously had to jump through hoops to get the approval.

          As a woman who is married to a Saudi, I would strongly encourage you to consider what you are doing. Where will you live once married? Does his family know about you and his plans to marry you? Are they accepting? If you are going to live in Saudi, do you have any idea what life will be like? Life in Saudi for someone coming from the outside can be a bit challenging although not impossible. If my husband and I could do it all over again, we would never have married. Don't get me wrong, we love each other but the challenges have been many. We have both made many sacrifices and if we knew then what we know now, we would have never married.

          Salam

  24. girls, don't be fooled by young saudi guys studying abroad.. omg.

    They may act a lot differently from other guys you may see. They're quite good at courting and wooing all that.. I have lived in many different countries, but I must say Saudi guys are the best when it comes to courting stuff. That's why you innocent girls are so into them fervently. It's understandable. but I think it's just cultural thing. They love writing poems and it's hard for them to meet girls back in their country, so they are simply crazy about any girls they meet in America or other countries..

    Aside from all these, they may love you, if you insist. But in 99 % of the cases, they will go back to their home and marry the one their mother brings. The worst type of Saudis are the ones who play with this. They sound like they're gonna marry you, which rarely happens. Don't be fooled unless they introduce you to their mother.

    If I were you, I'd rather find someone better than waste my youth..

    I mean, not every relationship ends with marriage, but still, isn't it too frustrating to know there is no future between you two?

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