If you want to heal the relation between you I suggest you try a few things first and see how she responds. Talk to her about her interests and what she has been doing or thinks about something. Thank her and compliment her on the things she does around the house. Don’t tell her you don’t feel loved, that’s not going to help. Show her that you really appreciate her. Talking like this about her thoughts and interests and knowing she is appreciated will make her feel closer to you, this is how women establish intimacy. It will make her feel more affectionate toward you physically and more likely to respond. Make sure you aren’t just using it as a way to get her to respond though, you have to take a genuine interest or she will see it as just a ploy.

When you are affectionate with her go slowly and see what sort of thing she likes or is comfortable with. Think back to the early days of your relationship. Cuddling, backrubs, etc may be more meaningful and more intimate to her, once she knows you appreciate her as a person, and might get her to feel more affectionate, but you should ask about the sort of things that she likes, or try something and ask if she likes it. It may take a lot of effort on your part to get her to open up again, as she has closed you out for such a long time, but if you try it with her needs in mind, not just yours, I think you will be pleased with the results. If she feels appreciated and loved she will want to do the same for you.