I divorced my husband due to my family pressure but I want him back in my life
Assalam O Alaikum,
I got engaged in 2010 and it took some time for me to convince my father to approve. I believe there were some family issues that stopped my father from accepting, and he thought that the guy wasn’t right for me. But at the end he accepted. Everything was going good Alhamdullilah and I was happy. After 6 months we did our Mahir, so Islamically we were husband and wife. Recently, we faced some problems and use to have arguments over petty things and sometimes I felt I initiate it most of the time.
We could resolve our issues easily sometimes and not so easily other times but still managed to get through it. When it came to the wedding planning we had a disagreement about where the wedding will take place and it was very stupid but, his mother interfered and it got a lot worst. So, I told my father that we are having problems. My husband also called my father to ask for advice, as we were having some issues. My dad tried to tell me that this is not good for me, and I should think about my future and my life. After hearing a lot from everyone; I thought OK I will divorce him. I said this out of anger because of the last fight that we had.
I ignored all his messages, e-mails and calls altogether and took my decision of divorce without even informing him, which I regret. He tried so hard to fix things for three weeks and I was willing to give it another try but my dad was not happy with all this and said; it’s HIM OR US. I was under a lot of pressure and stress at home and cried a lot but there was no way to convince my father as he won’t listen to me. I didn’t want to lose my family so I thought I will divorce him. After thinking long and hard; I know that I won’t be happy without him and this wasn’t the decision I wanted. Is there any way I can go back to him after the divorce?
Please help me.
Patience.
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Dear Sister, Walaykumsalaam,
It seems that you made a decision in haste and that a very bad one too. I cannot advise you on whether you can take your husband back or not, you will need to see a qualified Imam/Mufti for this.
Your case should serve as a reminder to us all of the affects of making decisions in haste, especially those regarding marriage and divorce and furthermore of allowing ourselves to be influenced by others, including parents. Every marriage has issues, but running back to parents to solve them for you is not the answer. Often the answer lies in improving communication with one's spouse.
If you do not find the answer you were hoping for, please accept what has happened and learn from your situation and try to move on. I pray that Allah makes this time easier for you.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaamulaikum Sister,
One can see that you took this decision out of haste and pressure and now you are willing to marry him again.
There is one scholar by the name Dr Zakir Naik, I hope you know him, he is the one who is mastered books of other religion along with Quran and hadeeth and has debates with scholars of other religion. What ever topic he talks on he quotes the ayaath from Quran. If you watch Dr Zakir Naik's lecture on divorce which you can easily find on youtube one can re-marry 3 times and 4th time he/she will have to marry someone else.
Let me explain it to you, suppose a person marries(1st time) and gets divorced he/she can remarry(2nd time) to the same spouse if they think there decision was wrong and then few days pass and they divorce again and again they think that was not a good decision they can still re-marry(3rd time). Now when they divorce they cannot re-marry and they will have to marry another person and if divorce happens due to genuine reasons then they can get back to their previous spouse and re-marry.
I dont know if I was clear enough so better watch Dr Zakir Naiks video on youtube and read Surah-Talaq (Chapter 65) from the Quran so that you get a clear picture for youself and also consult a qualified Mufti/Scholar.
Regards
Just to add to my previous comment
Its my opinion that I consider Zakir Naik to be a scholar even though he never declares himself to be a scholar. Now coming to your topic just wanted to tell you to read these ayaath (228 to 240) from surah Baqarah and ayaath (1 to 7) from surah Talaaq with understanding.
Once you read these ayaath's you will get a clear picture of how a divorce is supposed to take place among muslims and not the way or tradition which muslims have been following of saying the word 'talaaq' 3 times and the divorce happens and then there is no way of getting back to your previous spouse unless and until one marries someone else, gets a genuine divorce and then one can get back to his/her previous spouse. This is how its been at least in the Indian subcontinent, I am not sure of how a divorce is taken place among muslims in other parts of the world.
At the end of the day I am not a scholar, told based on what ever I knew. Its always better to consult a qualified scholar as well.
Exectly u said brother,
but did sister asked for Kula and he gave divorce or she herself said "I thalaq u"?
things are not clear from what she said.
I know very least but from knowledge what i learned from others is ,For thalaq there are lots of reasons,and conditions and its not play,,,
If thalaq happens and if they both lived on same roof and if they compromised and joined togather then the thalaq is invalid,,,pls check again.
so what is clear is
THERE IS NO NEED FOR SISTER TO WORRY AT ALL
SHE CAN JOIN HIM UNTIL UNLES THALAQ IS UTTERED 3 TIMES
Dont worry sister take Allaahu Rabbul 'Aalameen name and join him immediiately
a wife who will satisfy her husband and die in same state will be called from all the doors of Jannaah----hadeeth
so be a good wife start life and die as M'uminah coz this life is very litle and life after this is everlasting ,so please bear the things and problems what comes in our life as ,we will be testified and we must keep SABR...
Salaam
kamal