Am I married or divorced?
I was forced into a secret court marriage in Peshawar, which I agreed on doing for the sake of my life and safety of my family. But later after this happened, me and my family moved to another city. Since then I was glad that I changed my number, so that person has no contact with me and doesn't know my whereabouts. He had no contact with me, but he contacted my friend who gave him my email address to contact me. He asked me what I wanted, and I told him that I didn't consider him anything in my life, that I did it only for the sake of my life, that I will never live with him and that he should never bother me again. That guy told me that he wants to move on also, so the conversation ended with him swearing that he will never contact me again by any means or bother me, and he will move on.
Am I married to this guy? Since it has been 5 years and we have not contacted each other, and he is also engaged and moved on? I want to start a happy life too, but I am constantly living in fear. I do not consider him anythng in my life I hate that person. Please tell me am I free of him now? Is my nikah with him valid?? Nobody in my family knows about this. Please help me out.
-eross12345
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As I believe you are not not married
Rest Allah know better
Assalaamualaikam
The best course of action is probably to discuss the matter with your imam and with a lawyer who is trained in Islamic marital law. They will inshaAllah be able to give you a definitive answer, and advise what you should do next.
Forced marriage has no place in Islam, and it carries no shame to remove yourself from such a situation.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Read very very carefully,
Background:
The last Prophet and the last Messenger Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) (sal lal laho elahe wasallam) said: “The virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission has been sought.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6968; Muslim, 1419.
Secondly, If the marriage contract has been done even though woman was unwilling, then this marriage contract depends on the woman’s decision. If woman accepts it, then it becomes a valid marriage contract, and if woman does not then it is an invalid contract.
It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice, and she said: I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that.
Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1874. It was classed as saheeh by al-Buwaysiri in Masaabeeh az-Zujaajah, 2/102. Similarly Shaykh Muqbil al-Waadi‘i stated: (It is) saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim. End quote from as-Saheeh al-Musnad, p. 160
In the event that the woman does not accept this marriage, then it is invalid and she has to tell the one who did this marriage contract with her about that. He does not have the right to force her to engage in intercourse and intimacy, and she does not have the right to allow him to do that so long as she does not accept this marriage.
Although the ruling on this marriage is that it is invalid, this ruling cannot be proven or established unless the man divorces her by talaaq or the court issues a ruling to that effect, because of the difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the validity of such a marriage; many scholars regard this marriage as permissible.
Based on that, a woman have to refer the matter to the Islamic judge (qaadi) to pass a verdict that this marriage is invalid.
Your situation:
Since, you do it unwillingly for the sake of your life and for the safety of your parents. Correct! But since you said you were forced for a court marriage. Okay question is forced by whom? And on the documents did you signed willingly at that moment (that my life is at risk, okay I will sign it for my safety of life) Or someone forced you to sign it at that time on the documents and at that time there was nothing in your heart.
And I guess he forced you for a physical relationship. And left you and your family.
So, it depends your intention at that time. If your intention was really to save your life and you signed on the document just to be safe. Then there is no marriage at all. But if at that time if you did it with your own intention and there was no force on you when signing the document then it becomes valid.
You need to refer the matter to the Islamic judge (qaadi) to pass a verdict that this marriage is invalid or valid.
Allaah Knows the Best!
Assalaamu 'Alaikum.
As MidNightMoon pointed out the best course of action would be to discuss this issue with a local scholar or jurist. There are fiqh masaa'il regarding īlaa' but a person can easily make a mistake in deriving the ruling. If you do not have acces to any scholars then I suggest you submit a query on askimam.org or arij.ca it daruliftaa.com, these websites are run by qualified ulama' and muftis who can best answer assess your situation and provide you with a ruling accordingly.
Salaams,
Just to add to what's been said above, if you do find out that your marriage was valid in the beginning, you still need a divorce. Just you and your husband agreeing that you don't want anything more to do with one another isn't the same as a divorce. You wouldn't be able to remarry until he gives you one.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor