Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marrying a married man; how to deal with any issues that may arise?

Polygamy

Second Marriage

Greetings!

I have a one serious question.

I am a Filipina, Christian Woman, working in Dubai and my fiance' is a Muslim MARRIED Man. I met his family. His children are all professionals and his wife is good too! He wants us to get married in the Philippines, so he can also meet my family.

The question is: How are we going to deal with the situation of marrying him knowing that he is MARRIED to another Muslim Woman? I hope you can enlighten me.

Best regards,

Anne


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5 Responses »

  1. You said his wifes good right so whats there to worry about if shes got a good heart and respect in shaa allah theyre wouldn't be any complications between you and her.

    My auncle lives with his two wifes he was worried at first they wount get along he always made dua before the second one moved in that both my aunts would treat eachother like sisters and mashallah allah accepted his dua.

    they never argue or anything always get along they even where matching clothes because that's how much allah showered them with love mashallah.

    Before you move in with them spend a little more time before you setlle to get to know the whole family more so that your prepared to take the big step.

    duas are very powerful sister so if you think the families good wifes good make dua before you move in or whatever your plans is that both your fiancés wife and you have a sisterly relationship in shaa allah.

    May Allah help guide you through life and this relationship with both you and your fiancé and his family ameen.

  2. Salaams,

    To me it sounds like you're asking how to help your family accept that you will be marrying into polygamy. As Christians they may not be supportive or open to polygamy, so you will have to explain the values of Islam that support the practice of polygamy. It would probably also help to explain to them, in a practical way, how you plan to live this life so they can be assured you are going to be treated just as well as you would if you were marrying an unmarried man.

    Even though there is a verse in the new testament that mentions something to the effect that godly men should be husbands to only one wife, polygamy is actually very frequently referenced in the old testament. If you can show them how Islam traces back it's lineage to Ishmael, Abraham's son by Hagar, your family might be more understanding of why Islam does NOT have the same prohibitions that Christians practice while still having a somewhat accepting view of your choice. In short, communication and honest dialogue is the best defense against ignorance and differing positions.

    If you are also asking what the legal ramifications will be, I suggest you ask someone there in the Philippines who is well versed in your laws. It may or may not be an issue, certainly a local expert would know more than many of us in shaa Allah.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Hello,

    You should check if polygamy is allowed in philippines. Some countries like in Europe , they ask documents prooving that the foreigner is not already married so prooving he js single divorced or widowed.

    Secondly, you should also get married in Dubai for your safety. Keep the original Mariage contract attested by UAE embassy in philippines and foreign affairs, attaching an English certified translation so you can use it to change your status both of you as "married" in dubai and be protected by the law (by sharia court).

  4. salaam

    sister, you need to read over the rights of a second wife in islam. If he cannot provide full housing and maintenance and pay for all kids of the marriage's needs and fees etc he isn't qualified...a lot of muslim men take on non muslim women as wives and don't give them their rights...I have seen it OVER AND OVER in the middle east.

    also..unless your husband is emirati your marriage really isn't of any validity for special protection in Dubai...I know as I have lived there for 3 years.

    • Hello sister,

      Actually if her mariage is also registered in Dubai, she will have protection according to the sharia court. I lived in UAE five years and my sister she unfortunately got divorced in Dubai with her ex Belgian husband, so judge forced him to pay her some money for Idah period, etc. but she had hard time to recognize her divorce in Belgium. My sister got the money from husband via the court even she was already in Brussels. They banned him for travel until he pays his due. Whatever you are married to emirati or any nationality, for sharia court protection , husband has to be a Muslim and mariage must have been officially recognized in Dubai by the documents I mentioned in my post.otherwise she will not be protected.
      Allah helps her.

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