Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Am I allowed to marry my cousin?

True love comes from Allah Alone, rest all is from Shaitaan

Assalamu allaikkum

My name is sherief. I"m in love with my mother's younger sister's daughter. And her too loving me. I want to get  the answers for my doubts.

1. Is it possible to marry my cousin in islam?

2. Is any genetical problems to the bornchild?

3. How can I know that the possibily of defects?

4. Is any scientific methods to overcome that defects?

 

Please my brothers and sisters I'm really loving her from my core of the heart. So please give reply with sufficient reasons.

~  sherief


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18 Responses »

  1. Quran is clear on whom marriage is forbidden. Cousin sisters or brothers dont fall in the prohibited category, so if you are sincere and both the famlilies agree, then what is stopping you ? Go ahead marry her and live a life according to the laws of quran and sunnah.

    Allah provide kids, dont let science/doctors stop you from doing somthing which has been a normal practice since the time of prophet Muhammad (SAW) and earlier. E.g. one Fatima (RA) and Ali (RA) are cousins. Taking the scientists words for granted is indirect shirk.

    Science even told that we evolved from apes. Doesn't mean its true.

  2. Yes you may marry her she is halal for you!
    Marry her before u commit any SIN

  3. Yes, of course you can marry your couisn, two of my sisters married my first cousin.

  4. Walaikum assalam brother,
    Marriage between the cousins of first blood might have genetical problems somtimes, not always, and of course Allah knows the best. So there is no risk of it if you marry her. Go ahead along with family support and be ready to accept the luck because it can be occurred in any type of couple, having first blood relation is not required for that.

    • There is no " LUCK " in Islam, this concept is false. In Islam its all predestined. There is no good luck or bad luck. Disabled kids do not come by luck or by close blood relations but it is the will of Allah and is an extreme test.
      Your kids might be well or otherwise, it all depends on Allah's will. Whether you marry a starnger or your cousin, it doesn't matter.

  5. Sherief, As-salamu alaykum,

    Yes, you are allowed to marry a first cousin.

    And yes, it does carry a slightly higher risk of birth defects in the children. Those who are telling you to ignore the science in this matter are foolish. The risk is very well known. Even animals avoiding breeding with close relations - their instinct tells them that it is bad for the species.

    Among humans, we can see the effects of generations of inbreeding among European royalty. For centuries they married only other relatives, to preserve the "royal bloodline". The result? High rates of insanity, mental retardation and other birth defects.

    Human populations of small islands are known to have higher rates of birth defects due to inbreeding - for example the famously high rates of deafness among the residents of Martha's Vineyard.

    It's silly to say that we should ignore science because everything happens by the will of Allah. Would someone eat poisonous mushrooms and say, "Well, I won't get sick except by Allah's will". Or smoke cigarettes with the same excuse?

    The Prophet Muhammad (sws) said, "Trust in Allah and tie your camel." In other words, have faith in Allah, but also take worldly precautions. Do your best to avoid needless problems and complications in life, then accept the results as Allah's Qadar.

    Hostility or dismissiveness toward science is not an Islamic attitude. It's a product of lack of education. Science is nothing more than observation of nature, and drawing conclusions from that. Allah tells in many places in the Quran that natural phenomena are signs for those who reflect.

    That is why historically, Muslims were pioneers in all areas of science, including mathematics, astronomy, cartography, and medicine. Unfortunately in the modern era we have fallen behind.

    In any case, marrying outside the family is better. It brings new blood into the family, helps to unify the Ummah, and exposes people to new ideas and customs.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • As- salamu alaykum...!

      Sir, your advice was so genuine that I couldn't stop wrinting u..! I m absolutely satisfied with ur ideas. As I have also fallen in love with my father's brother's daughter, I was seeking this type of advice however we have dreamed a lot for a pleasant future together.., I don't understand what should I do..? As I belong to hindu community it strictly prohibited in our society.. pls direct me towards the best decision so that I would do fair with love and society both.

      Thanx a lot..!

      • Assalam o Alaikum Brother

        cousins are not our blood-relation brother or sister, she is not your sister.
        your sister is the one born from the womb of your mother.
        us larki k maa baap aur hain , woh apki maa k batun sey paida nahin hui na usne apni mama ka dood piya hai.
        so its clear, you can explain it to your parents, i dont know why it is objectionable.

  6. Salaam,

    I am a science graduate (but I do not specialise in genetics) what I can tell you is that it is true that there is definitely a higher risk of genetic abnormalities with marrying cousins as brother Wael has said above. This doesn't mean it happens in every case but the risk is much higher, especially in families where parents have already married cousins. It is especially seen a lot more in families where the children marry cousins (in some cultures this is tradition- the girl grows up and marries her cousin, their kids marry their cousins and so on.) The more it happens the worse it gets. Even if the children are not deformed the chances of children getting other diseases which may run in the family (like diabetes or high blood pressure) are higher as well.

    So if you are worried do speak to your doctor and they can refer you on to a professional who can help - a genetic counsellor may be able to help answer some of your questions and test both of you to try and work out the risk and any methods which may help.

    In general though marrying someone outside of the family is better for offspring genetically - they have a much lower chance of deformities.
    Do Istikhaarah if you are unsure to seek Allah's guidance on the matter as no one can advise better than Him (swt). Please read the links below very carefully before doing istikhaarah:

    Istikhara Questions & Answers
    http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/salat-al-istikhara-the-guidance-prayer/

    Power of Salat-ul-Istikhara
    http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/salat-al-istikhara-the-guidance-prayer/power-of-salat-ul-istikhara/

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. Have we ever wondered how many people actually left Islam or became quite materialistics and blame Islam to be a backward religion ? Have we ever wondered, if there are presently any religious Muslim scientists ? Have we ever wondered what causes the world (muslims and non muslims alike ) to believe we evolved from apes ? Have we ever wondered why people started to believe in " natural disasters " ? Have we ever wondered why the world has become an image of being westernized ? Have we ever wondered where has the muslim countries dissappeared when science is the subject but once was the head of science department?

    The million dollar answer is because of SCIENCE !!!! SCIENCE !!! SCIENCE !!! Science causes trouble in the world on a big scale and has benefits on a small scale.

    Yes, during the Golden Age, the Muslim communities was at the forefront of scientific advances and the pursuit of scientific knowledge. But haven't you noticed that after the fall of the caliphates the scientific advances came to a halt ? Why ?

    The only reason being that, it has many different point of views within Islamic communities. And for a matter of fact, presently many Muslim scholars decided to reject modern science completely. These scholars unilaterally decided that modern science was the result of a foreign, non-Muslim view of the world. Their solution was a return to fundamentalism and a rejection of those aspects of modern science that seemed to contradict the accepted Muslim view of the world.

    It doesn't mean that we have to dissapprove science as a whole. We have to accept only few of them which has basis in the Qur'an and sunnah. But small aspects of life like marrying cousins, is an act done at the times of prophet and nothing is mentioned about having child abnormality. If there was a slightest of risk involve, our Prophet would of warned us and not encourage cousin marriage. Just look how He let his own daughter marry Ali Ibn Abi Talib (RA) and there are many others at that time as well as in the middle-eastern countries as well as the sub-continents till now. For the sake of arguement, Why dont we then believe in evolution ?? It is very well-known and also it has got solid evidences. Now dont tell me, It is only a theory. It is proved as well and I can paste numerous links here, but I dont want to promote it as I myself dont believe it alhamdulilah due to my strong faith.

    In my life, I've witnessed many many cousin marriages as it is somewhat a customary pratice, but till now of all the child born and in the past, none of them have any defects. So the reason is they are blessed by Allah. I've seen disabled children too but its not the effect of cousin marriage but normal stranger marriages.I've 'heard' of many child defects in US, Philippines etc, but I cant say exactly what the reason is. It is basically qadr. It is predestined by Allah whether you will get a healthy baby or a disabled one or no baby at all. Cousin or no cousin doesn't really matter.

    Dont bring up scientific evidences to prove that there is indeed a risk of birth defect because then you have to study evolution etc to love science and shatter your faith. All of these have proofs.

    Science have indeed strayed many people from the rope of Allah and this is fact. Just look around nothing else. Ignorant and blind are the ones who cant see this fact with their own eyes. So therefore we can safely conclude that hostility or dismissiveness toward science is an Islamic attitude.

    Regarding this specific subject about child defect in cousin marriage, no one knows the truth or the unseen. Only Allah knows. Here we can only give opinons and ideas but not fact. So leave it to Allah to guide us.

    However, scientific knowledge must be understood within the moral and ethical framework of Islam. Otherwise, there is a real risk of straying from the straight path to God.

    And Allah knows best.

    • "Science causes trouble in the world on a big scale and has benefits on a small scale."

      This is so funny coming from someone who has submitted a comment on a website by means of a phone or computer (powered by electricity or a lithium battery), sent through the air wirelessly or underground by fiber optic cables. Your comment has appeared on a website, which is just a collection of 1's and 0's stored on a server somewhere and organized by the microchip in your device into a coherent page... all very scientific.

      Maybe next time I should not allow your comments unless you come to me walking or on camel back, and hand me your comment on papyrus paper.

      You use science every day, yet you condemn it.

      This dichotomy between faith and science is a Christian thing. Their faith is incompatible with science, so they felt that had to choose one or the other. Muslims never thought like that. Allah created the natural world, and He told us to observe it. That is science. Islam is consistent with science, and vice versa. That doesn't meant that we accept every theory put forth by disbelievers. In fact, that is exactly why we need to educate the Muslim world, so that we Muslims can once again take the lead in science, and bring scientific advancements according to Islamic principles, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Thats why I also said, " it has benefits on a small scale", me using computer to comment and teach and learn about Islam is just about that. But computer with internet itself is a fitnah too.

        I rest my case. Thanksssss.

    • There is actually nothing wrong with believing in Islam and being a Scientist. There are religious scientists - including many Muslims ones. I have met and worked with several myself so it's possible and true. So it's not one or the other.

      Science is so much more than evolution and darwin. It's about discovering the world around you and understanding how things work. Allah (swt) gave us intellect for a reason, we need to utilise it. Following modern Science does not mean we reject Islam and following Islam does not mean a person rejects Science.

      In fact for me studying Science is a means of getting closer to Allah (swt) because ultimately He created it. He created everything around us - biology the study of ourselves the cells - everything. Forces exist because He created them. The minerals in the earth, the chemicals - He made them interact in such a way that we can use them to make medicines or we can understand how these chemicals occur naturally in our body. There is so much overlap and everything is interlinked. It is SubhanAllah so amazing.

      Science can be studied in different ways. It can be studied in a fact-based way as some do, or you can study it with an open mind and acknowledge the existence of Allah.
      The athiest's argument today about how Science proves that there is no god "Audhobillah" is "that Science has proved evolution exists" and that "we are self sufficient, we now have the cures to many diseases". Man has come a long way and its easy to get cocky. Also in the Science perspective there is no way to prove the existence of God - you cannot see Him - and the general position of science is you have to prove something or see something 100% to believe in it. That is the conflict.

      But there is a another important way to look at it. We couldnt research this without Allah (swt) or make any of this without Him. Even electricity and the high tech Ipads and what not that's out there today. The metals to make the devices are created by Him - and found in the earth and in different places. As is the fuel to make electricity and the minerals to make batteries - again these are His creations. And the intellect to actually use our minds to think - these are gifts from Him.

      Do you see how approaching it with an open mind changes everything?

      "Allah disdains not to use the similitude of things, lowest as well as highest. Those who believe know that it is truth from their Lord; but those who reject Faith say: "What means Allah by this similitude?" By it He causes many to stray, and many He leads into the right path; but He causes not to stray, except those who forsake (the path)" 2:26

      Allah swt even uses the fly as an example in the Qur'an - and to those who have faith will understand and recognise it as the truth - whilst those who don't are lead astray.

      Allah knows best but I believe that Science in our world today is the same. If your heart is open and you have faith - when you learn about His creation or read His verses in the Qur'an it brings you closer to Him, but if you heart is not open or you are of those who reject faith the same verses bring you further away from Him!

      And yes there are 'theories' out there many which are not correct.

      As for believing what the Scientists say - it has been proved sister that it increases the risk.Also things change and people evolve so what may have suited the people of that time, may not work for us health-wise now. Whether or not this means two cousins marrying will definitely have a child with deformities remains to be seen. Scientists and doctors can guess or do risk asssessments but ultimately the knowledge lies with Allah alone. People can make mistakes. This is why Istikhaarah is so important!

  8. Talking in a literal sense, we all are the sons and daughters of the same father and mother. We all are the children of inbreeding. We dont need a Phd in science to understand this. We are all children of God, and being that we must believe in everything He says. We have married our own sisters and borthers in the earliest stage of humanity but then after forbidding it, we have moved to marrying cousins. Adam's and Eve's children married each other and then cousins marry each other and then this is how we all came to existance. PERIOD. All fate in Allah's hand. Humanity started from inbreeing.

  9. Luck is something which is predestined by Allah, and of course we can not ignore science, because Al Quran also supprots scientific truths. But Sherief has written that his cousin is from mother's blood line, as far I know she can not be his first cousin in that way. So genetical defects probability is lesser than first blood marriage and of course Allah knows best.

  10. Assalamualaikum brother,
    The risk of genetic abnormalities in the offspring of first cousins is definetly higher, in fact, almost doubled. You are most definitely allowed to marry your cousin, I too once had the same question. But now I am 19 years old and decided it wasn't worth it.

  11. Assalamualaikum brother,
    The risk of genetic abnormalities in the offspring of first cousins is definetly higher, in fact, almost doubled. You are most definitely allowed to marry your cousin, I too once had the same question. But now I am 19 years old and decided it wasn't worth it.

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