Masturbation is killing me – I’m considering castration
This is killing me...
Assalamo 3alykom warahmato lahi ta3ala wa barakatoho
Where do I start… i’m a 23 years old muslim student in France, and I came from morocco (btw not all Moroccans are evil as you may heard from rumors, there are pious people there).
What I’m about to say I couldn’t tell it to anyone whom I know because it so shameful and I’m saying it here because you don’t know me personally.
I have the same problem that a lot of young Muslims have in these final days, I can’t give up masturbating, and this fact pains me to the deepest part of my soul, it’s a disaster upon me. Every time I do it I repent to Allah all mighty and I do it again then the cycle goes on.
First let me tell you how I got this evil destructive habit, I grew up in a Moroccan city where islam isn’t what concern people most, I can’t believe I got to this without committing zina( al hamdo lilahi hamda yowafi ni3amaho for that, I guess I was a little bit shy too), I started masturbating and looking at porn magazines/videos at the age of 13, where I grew up it wasn’t a taboo at all people talked about it normally, at the age of 16 I guess I knew it was wrong and haram but it didn’t concern me either, about a year and half I thought it was time for tawba, I ask Allah for forgivness about what I have done in past, I feel like I was criminal, now every time I pray in mosque or at home I cry for the wrong I have done and for this evil habit.
people around me think I am some kind of pious man, they don’t see the hypocrisy act, knowing that hypocrites will have the worst punishment the day of judgments scares me, Allah plz don’t put me in this group. But before posting here I read a lot of posts about masturbation and how to solve it. And I tried, I tried hard, and here are the advices I tried:
1)having a strong will: well I guess that isn’t an option for me, If I had the will to quite this miserable habit I wouldn’t be writing this.
2) make do3ae to Allah soub7anaho wa ta3alla 3ollouwan kabira: yes this one is essential, I do dou3a2 all the time to Allah soub7anaho wa ta3alla to preserve, and I can’t stop: who knows in what condition I would be if I wasn’t making dou3a2.
3) make a serious tawba: well every time I do it, I cry and I think about hell, I can’t believe if I enter hell even in a single day I can’t take it. But that thought disappear when I get the evil thoughts.(I’m crying while I’m writing this, help me plz).
4)Lowring the gaze: well I tried this one too, I live in France when muslim are rare, but I started to lower my gaze for 5 months, I don’t look to girls in the street or my colleagues, they think I’m some kind of freak, not that I care. But then again here comes the hypocrisy when I come back to my room: I’ll watch porn videos(I’m so sorry that you have to hear this) Allah plz forgive me.
5)Fasting (sawm): well I tried this one too, I tried to fast Monday and Thursday, but still where I make iftar (breakfast) I get the tempting thought and I go down.
6)getting married: this one is a little bit complicated, firstly I couldn’t speak with my father because I was shy, so I had to talk to my mother, she told me that I have to finish studying at least, that means I have to bear with the situation for one year and half if angles of death didn’t pass by before that time, and if Allah allows me to have my diplomat, when I insisted she told me that they are not ready to pay for my future wife which frustrated me so much, but that’s not it, supposedly I talk my family through letting me getting married this summer, I couldn’t find a pious spouse(here you reader would say: you would say: you what a pious spouse and you committing this crime, all what can I say is this: I’ll try my best, and hope Allah grant me a better wife that I am, at least I didn’t lose my virginity), my mother suggested some of my family members( I know this could be grows for some people here but in an Arabic country it’s normal), then again none of them wear a hijab, she told me you can talk to them to wear it later when you get married but I refused. Also it’s hard to trust the looks in morocco because we heard a lot of stories about girl with hijab doing horrible things (judgment day is close).
This is getting bad I really need help from you, and especially dou3ae, I can’t imagine doing this crime again, and what scares me most that if I get married and I still do this, it kills me. I started take to strongly consider taking medicine to remove the sex drive but it have some serious side effects that I can’t bear: getting depressed, losing hair, losing memories I think, losing strength, losing weight, etc…
My option number 2 is to remove testicles but that means no children, and no marriage, but it also means life without pains a guilt, walking down the street able to looking where ever you want( it’s not that bad). However I learned it is forbidden in Islam because of Allah sub7anaho wata3alla grant us this ability to reproduce to spread Islam.
So please people help me, tell me some new advice that I didn’t include in this text, and make du3ae for me.
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Assalaamualaikam
Brother, please do not do anything so drastic as chemical or physical castration - that's a very permanent and extreme course of action, which may not even affect your desires. If you are feeling an uncontrollable or strong urge to carry this out, please speak to your doctor straight away, as you really shouldn't go ahead with this.
You mention having researched the side effects of medications that affect the sex drive - well, there are side effects from removing your testicles as well. Not just in terms of fertility, but also because your testicles are involved in producing hormones that your body needs in order to stay healthy, particularly at your age.
I think you need to be less hard on yourself. While many scholars advise against masturbation, it isn't generally considered to be a grave crime or a sin such as zina. It is natural for young men and women to have sexual urges, and managing to control these is a test we all face - so don't think you are alone in this struggle.
Rather than allowing shaitan to make you feel hopeless and desperate, take action to get support for yourself and to make changes in your lifestyle. For example:
- If you look at porn on your computer, have those sites blocked. Most internet providers will have parental blocking options, so have them block all the pornographic sites you use. If you're looking at things on video streaming sites, block those too. Some of these blocks give the user a password to enter in order to access the blocked sites. If you get one of these given to you, just go into "change password", change it to something random that you won't remember and then put it out of your mind.
- Given the level of distress this is causing you, and the extreme lengths you are considering, I think it would be important for you to have someone outside the situation to talk to for support and advice. If you have a GP or family doctor, it might be worth speaking to them to ask about local counselling or psychological support services. Your university might have a counselling service available, too.
- Think about what situations lead you to be tempted to masturbate, and change your routine to avoid this. If you find that you get urges while studying alone in your room, try studying with friends, or go to the library. If you feel the urges in the evening when relaxing in private, find something to keep you busy at those times - sports, Islamic study, charity projects, etc.
- And remember that Allah is Most Merciful. Trust that He knows the truth of your intentions and how hard you are trying to overcome your problems. We are all sinners, even if we deny it to ourselves. It takes real strength of character to admit to your sins and bad habits, and to work hard to overcome them.
May Allah help you in your efforts, and may He help you find a pious wife who will support and love you.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Bro, just keep on masturbating. No need to mutilate yourself. Get married as soon as possible for you to afford it. If masturbation stops you from committing Zina, then it is actually a good thing.
OP: My option number 2 is to remove testicles but that means no children, and no marriage, but it also means life without pains a guilt, walking down the street able to looking where ever you want( it’s not that bad)
You need to see a psychiatrist. You want to look at women after getting rid of your testicles.
You are interested in women because of sexual stimulus you get when you look at attractive women.
If no sex desire why look at women.
Men can have erections even without testicles.
People think your are pious but you do masturbate.
If a girl masturbates will you marry her.
There is not much difference between a Muslim a woman wears a burqa or niqab or hijab then a Muslim woman who does not..
OP:..my mother suggested some of my family members( I know this could be grows for some people here but in an Arabic country it’s normal), then again none of them wear a hijab, she told me you can talk to them to wear it later when you get married but I refused. Also it’s hard to trust the looks in morocco because we heard a lot of stories about girl with hijab doing horrible things (judgment day is close).
You don't want to marry a girl who does not wear Hijab. You also heard a lot of stories of girls with Hijab doing lot of horrible things........With that kind of thinking you will never find a girl.
Dear Moroccan brother,
Please do not do anything to hurt yourself, who told you castration will help? It doesn't. I am concerned if your sexual drive is so strong, does it affect your daily life, for example your study or normal life?
As one post mentioned that masturbation is not a grave sin, inshallah, you will outgrow of it. In your age, it is very common that men has erection easily. Do it in your pace, you are almost there, pray, fast and make dua. Gradually you will decrease the frequent of masturbation, inshahallah.
One thing I do strongly suggest is to see a doctor. Tell the doctor you may need some medication to help your overactive sexual drive. One of my friend who is married to a man with a very strong sexual drive, he demands abnormally too many times in a week. Finally, the doctor also agreed that is not healthy and prescribe him some medication. It helps to calm him down a lot. So go try the doctor, don't give up.
The other thing I will suggest you is to adopt an exercise: swimming, running or whatever can get your energy out during the day. You have tremendous amount of energy inside, it needs to get out. Just go outside and run until you feel tired.
Of course, keep doing what you are doing: pray, fast, cut off all the porno stuff, insahllah, focus on your study and Allah may open a way for you.
Sister K
Thanks 2 all.Specially To abdul, sister k and amin
i m also going through this kind of situation. .plz also pray for me to get rid of this sin. .
Keep on masturbating. If it keeps you from committing zina, then it is a good thing. Get married as soon as you can afford it.
[Masturbation]
Regarding the position of the Hanbali madhhab regarding masturbation, Kashshaf Al-Qina` (6:125) indicates that whoever masturbates out of fear of committing fornication or fear for their body has done nothing wrong and is not punished if (and only if) he is unable to marry--even a slave girl--and if he was able to marry it is unlawful and he is entitled to punishment. This applies to men and women equally. The reason given is out of necessity (durara), which was mentioned above.
Please note that one of the conditions is that the person in question not even be able to marry a slave girl who is someone else's property, which means that any children would be born into slavery. What is significant here is that having your children born slaves is better than masturbation. This is not a light matter.
Also please note that provided there is someone that one could marry, masturbation is unlawful. No where does it say that the spouse has to be from the same culture, has to be a perfect match, or anything like that. As long as there is an upright marriageable Muslim it is unlawful, and if not punished in this world it surely is in the next. It goes back to availability, not economic stability, diploma, beauty, hair color, nationality, ethnicity or cultural origins. There are a lot of people who mix up necessity, need and luxury. This ruling is about necessity.
In closing, we know that divorce is the most despicable of lawful things to Allah, whereas fornication is haram. Parents should keep this in mind before putting so many conditions that must be met before marriage, especially since anything that leads to the unlawful is itself unlawful.
And Allah knows best.
Answered by Sidi Musa Furber of the Hanbali fiqh list.
I don't think this is a sin to masturbate. Natural phenomenon is like that even if you don't masturbate you will have ejaculation naturally at night .
It only means you have lots of energy bring it down by excercise like jogging swimming etc etc and best of all by FASTING for 2 days a week
Zubair: It only means you have lots of energy bring it down by excercise like jogging swimming etc etc and best of all by FASTING for 2 days a week
Jogging and swimming are supposed to make you stronger. Process does not require a lot of energy when one is young. It functions like automatic, just needs a little thought to get the thing going.
If you mean making one tired may help. There are 24 hrs in day, you can't do things to stay tired all day.
Dear brother ,
You need to get involved in some activities like sports . Don't be alone in the room .
You sit with the computer in a common place where your mom ,dad can watch you .
Make good friends and spend time with them .
You need to redirect your mind to some other useful stuff .
Don't miss any Namaz and recite Quran every day.
Allah hafiz
For whoever is saying masturbation is halal is wrong because there are millions of ways to control masturbating. There are people in islamic countrys who never masturbated especially back then when the internet was not invented.But in bad cases where a woman is about to approach you or about to commit zina anyways then ya masturbate but if it becomes an addiction your on your own buddy talk to a scholar astagfirallah but its ramadan and your masturbating your fasts are not counting 10 years of masturbating you need help talk to a shcolar people giving answers here will tell you not to masturbate some will say yes theres no point asking this question you will get mixed answers my advice talk to an imam or scholar or faqih or student of knowledge anyone from the masjid.Last but not least prophet muhammad pbuh said the people who are shy will never learn this is true you should not be shy!
Well thats just rare i never heard of that before doesn't matter its better to ask advice alone hes not gonna get raped hes 23 come on theres always scholars as well Alims to speak to not only imams.People who are answering the masturbation questions here dont have accurate answers they are not scholars or anything there all mixed answers so its better to speak to somebody the ones i listed well thats my advice (opinion)
Some moderator deleted your message svs.
Well that is fine if some one deleted my answer. If you ask 10 scholars about masturbation, you may get 10 different answers. then which answer you choose.
Watch the videos on youtube type is masturbation considered haram you will get more than 10 videos of scholars saying its haram Zakir naik Ahmed deedat etc. Learn from them because they have the knowledge.I am trying to help him this person because hes been masturbating since he was 13 hes now 23 hes already addicted thats big because tell me do you want to die the day you masturbated? the day you watched porn? Looked at naked woman thats what shaitan wants he wants you to do that. He wants you to die that way in a impure stat once you ejaculate your impure you cannot read Qur'an nor pray and so on.
You wrote
"tell me do you want to die the day you masturbated? the day you watched porn? Looked at naked woman thats what shaitan wants he wants you to do that. He wants you to die that way in a impure stat once you ejaculate your impure you cannot read Qur'an nor pray and so on."
Brilliant words, Jazak Allah.
Dear Hhelp,
I have been through same situation and I COMPLETELY know how you feel, I mean what I am saying. I know, it is impossible to stop this act but i have done for it more than month now el7emdelilah. People will say you alot of things to do, but nothing helps right? It went so bad for me, that one day I got so angry of this habbit and took a knife with me in toilet and was about to cut everything off lol. I know funny but here's the truth. By the way, I am living in a place where I can literally do anything and no one would notice (just for your notice, Its a muslim country but still). My intentions were same like you brother, I used to do it and then ask for tawbah but still couldn't control the situation. So, here's what i did to stop my problem.
- I used to watch porn at my mobile phones. So, I bought nokia phones without camera, internet or any other advanced facility. Black and white mobile. I turned off my other mobile phone in which i used to watch porn or anything that would make me want to do masturbation and I kept it somwhere that I would find it hard to reach again and again. For you, I would recommend to sell that mobile phone. So Stop using things in which makes you want to do masturbation.
- 2nd option is, someone challenges you to stop or gives you a dare to stop. This will make you want to do it but because of the dare or challenge you won't do it so hey, good start yeah?
-3rd option (works oftenly) . I don't know about you Brother, but after masturbation I get angry and hyper for no reason. It is making me weaker day by day anyways, the solution to this is START GOING TO GYM. Trust me brother, IT WILL HELP. Just try going for a week nonstop, you would want to go daily and I know you would masturbate when going to gym too but if you will masturbate you will not be able to life more weight or do much push ups and that my friend, will make you angry. This will lead to reduction of masturbation.
-4th option. Whenever you feel like masturbating, just think that it will cause you to have premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation means you won't be able to satisfy your wife in future and which means she might go somewhere else for the satisfaction. I started to think like this, Helped alot! reduced! whenever i think of it, freaks the hell out of me !
5th option. whenever you feel like doing it, JUST DONT DO IT! no matter how horny you get, how hard for you to control is. Challenge yourself and check for how long you can control yourself and go talk a walk or a shower. It helps too.
I used to masturbate alot bro, ALOT! Trust me, you will not have any idea how much I was sick of it! I couldnt stop myself even for a day, situation got so bad that i couldnt control it for some hours i had to do it 4 5 times. But after asking help from Allah. See brother, Alhamdulilah its been more than a month, I havent done it eventhough, I have had wet dreams but hey, no touching right? 😉
I hope this will help you, it really helped me!
Wow nice response lol....
Assalamu alaikum.
May Allah help you brother, to get a solution to your problem. Alhamdulillaah that you have just done this small haram instead of going to adultry. Sometimes masturbation is allowed, if you are prevented from more bigger haram like adultry.
You should talk to your dad and say that @ Dad, if you dont let me marry, I am afraid I will fall into haram @ . But if your dad does nt help you get married soon, I suggest that you go ahead and marry some girl of your choice. For men, the consent of parents is not necessary. When parents dont understand the situations of their children and the pain they undergo, then they deserve also a small pain when you marry without their knowledge.
May Allah help you.
i agree with you mate
I asked my herbalist to help me with reducing my sex drive possibly right to a castrate level.She was not at all alarmed and told me that she has several clients who have requested libido suppression supplements.She compounded suppositories containing mostly phytoestrogens.Estrogens counteract the testosterone in males.The same suppositories are used by some of her female clients as hormone therapy for menopause.My herbalist,who is originally from Iran,told me that she has access to castration supplements that are not normally available in the West.I do now happily have the eunuch calm.Allah is great.
Assalaamualaikam
If people are looking for herbal remedies or allopathic medication to reduce their sex drive, it's really important for them to make sure whoever they speak to about it is fully qualified in their field and experienced in the use of these treatments. Many of these treatments have possible side effects, and some can have permanent side effects, so people really do need to be aware of these - ask about them, research any suggested treatments online, and challenge the person recommending it if you have concerns.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Thanks all Muslim brother we all are facing same things i am from Pakistan. According to me late marriage the main problem that falls us all in this hateful sin. All parents must understand the lusty things of this era
brother ! my stituation is wess!! I can get sleep without Mastur!!! and why I say that my stituation is far away wess from you,is that I'm a Hafith ul-Qur'an! my Allah show mercy on us In sha Allah! Atherwise we must wait for the panishiment of Allah on this Duniya and in the hereafter! Wallah suma Wallah this is Haraam ,if we don't stop this agry thing !the wait for the panishiment in Jahanamu for ever and ever .my Allah save me and you bro,