Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is he my milk cousin or not?

glass of milk, buttermilk

I have a question regarding marriage. My mother fed her own milk to my cousin's brother when he was a child nearly 6 month old, hardly two times. Now my family wishes to marry me to my cousin. Can I marry my cousin, or is he forbidden since my mother breastfed him when he was small?

-kamrannt


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6 Responses »

  1. Al-Bukhaari (2645) narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning the daughter of Hamzah: “She is not permissible for me (to marry), because what becomes mahram (forbidden for marriage) through breastfeeding is that which become mahram through blood ties. And she is the daughter of my brother through breastfeeding”
    I did some research and this what i found if one child is breastfeeded five times by another woman that woman becomes his/her mother and also the children of her foster mother(breast feeded mother) become his/her siblings also Mahram so this marriage is not possible try talking to your mum about this to do some research

  2. Assalam Aleykoum Sister,

    To my best of knowledge, if your mother breast fed him then yes he is forbidden to you.

    Women You are Never Allowed to Marry

    [1]: Your mother, grandmother, great grandmother, etc.

    [2]: Your daughter, granddaughter, great granddaughter, etc.

    [3]: Your sister, your sister's daughter, granddaughter, etc.

    [4]: Your niece (your brother's daugther in this case), your niece's daughter, granddaughter, etc.

    [5]: The sister of your father, grandfather, etc (paternal aunt)

    [6]: The sister of your mother, grandmother, etc. (maternal aunt)

    [7]: All of the above from a breastfeeding relationship (if a wet nurse breastfed you as an infant)

    Regarding these first six, Allaah the Exalted says,:

    ( Forbidden for you (to marry) are your mothers, daughters,
    sisters, nieces, and your paternal and maternal aunts )
    [Soorah an-Nisaa' (4):23]

    This means that if you were breast fed (at least five times) by other than your birth mother, then your wet nurse takes the ruling of your mother, and her daughter takes the ruling of your sister, and so on. This is based on the statement of the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam):

    "Breastfeeding makes forbidden all that is forbidden due to
    blood relations." [Agreed upon by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

    And Allah SWT knows best.

    SisterZahriya

  3. Many people not know that hamza. R.a ; the uncle of prophet saws he was also breastfeeded by halima and for sure whoever drinks the milk he or she becomes like biological sister ..

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    There are different opinions on how many times a child must be breast-fed before becoming a milk sibling to the breast-feeding woman's children. The most widely accepted number of feedings is 5, as shown in the hadiths above, but there are some schools which have different views (for example, I think that Hanafi scholars tend to consider any breast-feeding in which the milk reaches the stomach to be enough to establish milk kinship - if I am wrong, I hope someone will correct me, inshaAllah).

    If you are considering marrying your cousin, it would therefore be wise to ask a reputable scholar to provide you with a definitive answer, to ensure you make an Islamically appropriate decision.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

    • Wa Alaikum Salaam Warahmatullah,

      I agree with Sister Midnightmoon, that the most widely accepted number of feedings by all the scholars in general is 5, and that any breast-feeding that reaches the stomach is considered, by the majority of them (All the Hanafis, Malikis and some of the Hanbalis, in addition to lots of the Sahabah and those who came after them - tabi'in), base on the fact that Allah mentioned in Surah an-Nisa (4: 23) that "...your foster-mothers who nursed you...", without specifying the number of breast-feedings, which indicated that the ruling is attached to the reaching of the milk in the stomach, not to the number of breast-feedings.

      So according to the most correct opinion, the original poster (kamrannt) is not allowed to marry her cousin, Islamically.

      • I think this link could be useful to the OP, inshaAllah.
        http://www.questionsonislam.com/article/foster-relationship

        "The milk must reach the stomach of the child. Sucking the milk from a breast and drinking it from a jug or glass are the same. If the child takes the breast into his/her mouth but if it is not known whether s/he sucked it or not, relationship is not established because conclusions cannot be based on suspicions. However, according to Malikis, the relationship is considered to be established, acting cautiously. On the other hand, Shafiis and Hanbalis put forward the condition of sucking five times because according to a narration from Hazrat Aisha, firstly a verse stating “haram is established with ten sucks” was sent down in the Quran, but later it was decreased to five times with another verse sent down later. The Prophet passed away while that verse was being read in the Quran. (see: Darimi, Marriage, 49; Muslim, Rada, 25; Abu Dawud, Marriage 10; Tirmidhi, Rada, 3; Malik, Muwatta, Rada, 18).

        According to Shafiis, although the verse which decreased the number of sucks to five was abolished, it is still valid as a judgment. It is like the verse: “If an old man and woman fornicate, stone them.” (see: Ibn Majah, Hudud, 9; Darimi, Hudud, 16; Malik, Muwatta, Hudud, 10).

        Ibn al-Humam (death: 861/1457) stated that not only the reading of the verse which decreased the number of sucks to five was abolished but also the judgment of it was abolished. (Ibn al-Humam, Fath al-Qadr, Egypt, 1316/1898, III, 345).

        According to Hanafis and Malikis, the amount of the milk sucked does not affect the judgment. The evidence to it is the verse “Prohibited to you (for marriage) are … foster-mothers (who gave you suck) and foster-sisters” (an-Nisa, 4:23) and the hadith “Who is haram because of bloodline relationship is also haram because of foster relationship.” (Bukhari, Shahadah, 7; Muslim, Irada, I). This verse and hadith do not mention an amount or number of sucking."

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