My boyfriend and I broke up for the sake of Allah.
Asalamualikum!!
My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for almost 2 and a half years. We broke up because we realised we were actually doing wrong. When I started this relationship, I was innocent and was not knowing about this great sin. Even today we love each other a lot. He is an awesome guy who has a good character. He used to help me so much in everything and every problem I had. He used to tell me what is right and what should I do.
I think it should not be called a bf-gf relationship. It was actually a best-friend relationship. We use to cry for each other when either of us had any problem . Even when we were in relationship, he used to tell me that we should break up as he used to feel guilty of this. I always agreed but there was something that stopped us everytime. Everytime I offered salah, I used to make dua that Allah would please show us the right path (because deep inside I knew it was wrong).
You know what? My dua was accepted and we broke up because his sister caught him having the relationship. I was actually happy because of the breakup. When we had our last talk he told me, "you complete your course, and I will complete mine, and after that we will marry". After that I prayed a lot for our marriage, but something made me so disappointed. I read from many islamic sites that the fate of marrying someone can't be changed by making dua. This is really very disappointing. Now I don't even want to make any dua. And I read that Allah may give you somthing better than that, but I don't want anything better than him. I just want him.
I want to be like I was before this relationship, also. I had so much trust in Allah in my duas, and my duas were answered immediately so that it was like a miracle. But know I don't feel the same, and this doubt about marrying him makes me feel so uncomfortable and restless. I feel like Allah is angry with me, because everytime I promise Allah that I won't do this and that I always break my promise and do that mistake again knowing that it is a sin.
How will I improve my relationship with Allah? Can my fate change if I mke dua all the time...unlimited dua? Can I see my boyfriend's pictures when I miss him? One of my cousin is having contact with him through a messanger, can I ask him or tell him anything through my cousin? This time is very crucial for me as my exams are near.
Please guide me, what should I do?
-sahera jaan
15 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
It is nice to know you broke off a two and half year relationship with your boyfriend for sake of Allah. Looks like you did not commit any sin, just cried with him. Why don't you guys get married for sakeof Allah?
Assalaamualaikam
As hard as it is just now, you and this boy did the right thing in not continuing a haraam relationship. If the two of you still want to be together, why not have him approach your family to propose marriage - that way you and your family can consider the proposal, decide if he truly is the man you wish to marry, and if he is then you can get married, inshaAllah.
There's no need for the two of you to rush into a big wedding, living together, setting up a home, etc. - a simple nikah ceremony would mean that you could be together in a halal way, and the rest can come with time, inshaAllah.
In the meantime, it would not be appropriate for you to have private contact with him, and it would be important to ensure you both repent for what happened and make your interactions from now on in accordance with Islamic guidelines.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Salam,
I totally agree with SVS and minightmoon.
Don't spend money in a big ceremony if you cannot, you don't need to. Your goal is to be with him so just marry in a licit way since both of you are muslim... There is no problems.
Hope for you the best,
Salam
Silver99
Hello there I’m exactly in same situation we didn’t do anything wrong but we both love each other so much I’m younger than her (2years) she is getting matches and I’m not settled yet we both just graduated recently .
I want to talk to there family but not sure how things will go can some one say anything
We did isthikara she got good sign about me .
But things from side I have an sister elder than me who wasn’t married yet that’s the main reason stopping my family to reach her
I read it in a book that there is something that changes what has been written down and that is " reciting la haula va la kuwwata illa billa hil alae ill azeem " i firmly believe init. Also reciting it for my my marriage. Love marriage .
inshallah Allah will listen to us .
God bless you
have faith in Him .
recite it and yul get what you want inshallah
Hey its wrong to think that fate cant be changed. Its totally wrong. Well you did a great thing by breaking up with him. But u know Allah says Na" ask me anything and I will go it to you" so its our responsibility to ask. To beg him and even after begging we don't get the desired person then Allah says that I will give you something better. Well think of it this way. You want to marry him but what if this is not what ALLAH wants and when you marry him you have a bad life ahead or may be you don't have children God Forbid. But you don't know Na what will happen so its better to ask ALLAH for help and leave the rest.
Hey can you pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee please update me on this.. Did your boyfriend try to contact you or have you moved on?
I'm in a similar situation.. Idk if you'd read this but if you do please REPLY.
Assalaamu alaikum
This happened to me as well. I miss him a lot and i know he does too. We sit on the same highschool. We broke up because we realized that our relationship was haram.
I'm about to sit for my boards and attend college from next year , I too left a haram relationship but I had to lie to him cause he didn't want us to part ways. I'm feeling really down but ik Allah sees everything hears everything I pray that He gets us married someday
Asalamualaykum Sister,
You will never leave something for the sake of Allah but that he will recompense you with something or someone better. Whether it is a "new and improved" version of this brother or another person altogether! You did the right thing.
Nor
IslamicAnswers.com
I did the same thing and we almost had the same story sister. I know how it hurts. An yeah i dont want anybody too. May Allah help us move on (eventhough idont) and hepl us heal our hearts InshaaAllah
I too am in a similar position. When I was in a haram relationship I used to pray and ask Allāh to guide him. One day we both decided we will part ways for the sake of Allāh and In Shaa 'Allaah if it is meant to be Allāh will reunite us. I want no one but him. I dont know if that'll ever happen. We wanted to get married to each other but cant coz too young and family issues and aren't financially ready. I make dua and that's all you can. They say the dua made at tahajjud is like an arrow that doesn't miss its target. Also to find out if he's the one pray istikhara and ask Allāh for his guidance and he will show you if he is meant to be. Trust Allāh. Allāh knows best. 😀
If he truly loves u ,nothing will stop him from marrying you
Salam Fatima,
Even if he truly loves her lots of things can stop him: Allah, death, kidnapping, severe injury, elders not agreeing, lack of income to support a family, too close of a genetic relationship to have disease free kids.
Saying things like this are untrue. This makes the person think that they don't have to do anything and if the other person loves them enough they will do all the work and overcome any obstacle. You could say this to both the girl and the guy and they would both just sit there waiting for the other person to do the work to marry them. It's not like the girl doesn't love the guy in this case right? What if you told the guy, "hey if she really loves you nothing will stop her." He will then just sit and wait, wondering when it's going to happen.
So I recommend not using this line of thought. If you love someone, do your best to make it happen. Put forth your effort and ask them to do the same. And then also say Inshallah, or "if Allah wills", and not hold Love as your God to making it happen. If Allah does not will for the two to be together in this life then it doesn't matter how much the two love each other. There will always be something coming up to prevent their union. Salam.
Assalamoalaikum. One thing my English is very poor plz try to understand what I am wrote.
This same thing happened with me because I realized this is haram
but in my case i only understand this is haram but not my bf he didn't want to understand this is haram he is say tha i am cheating with him he says Allah also says don't break heart anyone and don't hurt them that's right I agreed with them but Allah also says not in haram. Many time i tried to brokeup with them but my heart get melt after talking with him when he say's you are hurting me. So that's why I decided to brokeup with without telling him . This time i don't tell him my reason why I am brokeup. I am deleted every messages nd no, photos everything. I also broke my sim. I want only no about this is that right without informing him why I brokeup with him is it countable in sins please reply.