IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

Salaam. How should I react towards a parent who has neglected his own children his entire life? My father lives with us, and has provided us with a house. Other than that, he doesn't buy food, we are all in our adulthood, and ready for marriage, but he has no interest in getting us married. My mother is the one who is only worried.

When my eldest sibling was getting married, my father was in his home country with his sisters and nephews and. nieces, and when my mother called him to attend his daughter's wedding, my father did not want to come back to his family. Nor attend the wedding. He threw a fit, because he had to come back. He hasnt supported any of his children in education we all work and make our own living, and it has been like that since our teenage years.

He always wants to go back to his home country as his sisters are there and their kids, he takes them out, takes them shopping, takes them to restaurants, etc, but here, he has never done that in his life for us. He is hoarding away his money as he has just sponsored his nephew to this country, and he has the intention of making him stay in our home. How can a father think like this, when he has a grown daughter living in the house?

I loathe my father, and none of us talk to him because of the pain he has caused for many years. My mother is too sick to work. I know that you are supposed to respect your parents and treat them kindly, but how are you supposed to respect a parent, who has never supported his family, never put food on the table, physically abused his eldest daughter and his wife, never paid for our education, has no desire in getting us married, I pay for some of the bills in the house, his main concern is, who will pay the bill when i get married and leave? How am i supposed to respect this kind of man? I want to know what islam teaches in this situation, thanks.

- Sara