Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My life is spinning out of control – don’t know if my marriage is salvageable!

Asalaam Alikum!

I converted to Islam almost two years ago. I am 43, am married with 3 children. My eldest daughters are 25 and 22 and my little boy just turned 9. My daughters are not my husbands children.

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I am pretty much alone in this world...have felt that my whole life, but have really felt it for 1 year now. It's such a long story I have no idea where to begin.

I am married, and was married once before. My ex husband was evil to the core. I have a metal plate in my neck as a daily reminder of how evil he can be. When I finally escaped him, and he was in prison for trying to kill me, I came back to Colorado and spent the next 5 years doing everything I could to try and understand how I became such a victim? Before him I was so independant, even hard I guess. I had always been a single mother of my two girls, and it was always just the 3 of us. Then I let this man con me, and take almost everything from me, including my life. In those 5 years I did a lot of soul searching, and apologizing to my daughters. No child should have to clean their mother's blood off the walls. It put a strain on my eldest daughter and my relationship; but my younger daughter and I had always been so close, so that did not change. I escaped him, and got a divorce.

Well....now fast forward to my husband now; he is quite a bit younger than me...13 years to be exact. I met him on BearShare, when I was looking for music....I had no idea you could even chat on it, my eldest daughter showed me it. Within a year I was in Morocco and my husband surprised me with a traditional wedding. At the time I met him, I was NOT looking for anyone, a matter of fact I felt there was NO way I could ever trust someone again. We started out as friends. He did not believe me that I was so much older than him, and he is like a 50 year old man in a 30 year old body! So somehow we met in the middle. He is absolutely the most amazing man I have ever met. When we were in Morocco and even the first year I came back and was without him, I could not have felt more loved if I tried. I FELT it...that had never happened for me before, not from anyone in my life (not my parents, no one....only thing close was my girls).

When he came to the U.S. he wanted so much to show my family and just people in general that what most people assume or think of Muslims or Arab men was false. It is totally false what is portrayed on the media. My husband totally takes care of us, and would never think of me as lower than him...actually he raises me up.

When we were in Morocco, I took my youngest daughter. It is not an easy thing to get married in an Arab country, and we had to travel to many cities over a month to acquire the proper paperwork. In that time, his brother and sister chaperoned my daughter. One day before our wedding, Rachid and Toree informed us they wanted to get married. Before I went, when we would chat, both families would talk..my mother-in-law, sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, my husband and my children. It was common, and after a little while we sort of thought they liked each other, but we did not push it. Then they told us. My husband was furious at his brother for doing it then and for not allowing Toree to come home first, and see if her feelings were true (she was only 18). But as young love is inpatient, so was their's.

We came home, I filed for a spousal visa for my husband and within 6 months Toree had gone back to Morocco twice. Within 2 months of my husband's arrival in the U.S. she went back and she and Rachid got married; even though we told them they should be patient and wait. Over the next year, my husband worked 2 or 3 jobs, supported our home, the home in Morocco and also assisted with my parents (it is their culture to help the wife's parents or family). He offered to take care of my mother because it looked like her marriage was going to end...he helped pay my father's bills...he hired an immigration attorney for rachid and toree, paid for her to go back to morocco two more times....all because he is the eldest son, and he is responsible for everyone.

One year ago, my daughter returned from Morocco...I noticed something was different with her within a month. We had her come to dinner every Sunday...she was always texting or going outside to talk on the phone. I asked her pointedly one day if something was going on, she told me it was not my business. For several months prior we heard from her or Rachid that they felt distant or there were problems. My husband and I kept telling them it was normal, they were apart, but if their feeling had changed, it was okay. It was better to part on good terms than for something bad to happen and many people get hurt. In mid-March, Toree came to me. She was crying and said she did not know what to do. I said, like I have always told you, you have two choices, stay or go. If you choose to end it, we will talk as a family. She said she did not want to, and even was considering moving to Morocco for 6 months, if the latest visa attempt did not go through. Two days later she, my husband and I went for her immigration appt. On the way home, we stopped for groceries, she and I went in, and she left her cell on the back seat. While we were in the store, it kept going off over and over. To make it stop my husband went to push the end button, but she had a Blackberry and the text was displayed across the top. It said, "Hi Baby, I'm waiting for you with a bottle of wine, how much longer? I Love You" To say the least this day did not end well. My husband called her several names, was crying, I was crying and he told her to get away from our house and not to come back. This man who text her, called my husband (he had called him first), and we got to hear in detail all the things he and my daughter ad been doing for many months....I'm her mother, and it was pretty explicit. My husband threw his phone across the room and broke it. He and I were both crying sooo hard. He left for work and before he left, he said "Wife how can I ever look at you again, she looks just like you?"

When he left, I sat there in total disbelief. My mother is horrible! My sister makes you feel like you are in quick sand. I had a very very hard childhood and could not believe that MY daughter...ESPECIALLY Toree would do this. How could she NOT think of me and her baby brother when she did this. She KNEW I would be there for her....she KNEW I would get her out of the mess, or help her get divorced with the least amount of pain to everyone...SHE KNEW THIS! She never thought of the cost to me and her brother...that we could lose everything...me a husband and him, his father! I was devastated! I thought how in the world will this work out....either I lose my husband or my daughter! That night I took over 100 pills. I realized what I was doing when I was about to go to sleep and saw a photo of my son. I picked up my cell and called 911. I spent the next 72 hours in the hospital. That is when my family REALLY showed their colors. My husband was searching for me and our son for the first 24 hours, not knowing I was in the hospital (his phone was broke), and that our son was with my dad. My daughter got to my mom and sister first, they found my husband and attacked him verbally and called him many horrible names, told him to go back to his country (remember this is the same man who had been giving my sister gas money and taking her groceries, and this is the same man who had been secretly giving my mother money for their mortgage, because her husband was so irresponsible). They tried to send my son to California, because they thought he would take him to Morocco. All of this was based on the fact that my mom had a friend who was married to a man of Arab descent, and had a horrible marriage and divorce. She never once took HER knowledge of my husband into consideration! When he found out where I was, he went and got me, and took me home.

To say the least our relationship is strained. The same man who use to rush home to be with me and his son, barely came home from June of last year through December. He stays home now, but I can see the strain and he barely talks with us.

My eldest daughter will not talk to me, and now Toree does not either. My husband sent her a bad email in December after he read her Facebook post of how happy she was with this other man.....this was 4 days after Rachid tried killing himself for the 2nd time in one year. They found him drunk in the middle of the street, with his wrists slit, asking why doesnt she love me, why doesnt she love me.

I feel like everything is on the brink of ending......his family loves me so much! It is because of them, he stays...I think. He is distant and cold with me. Not only did she cut him in half ( he loved her like a daughter), but my family showed how horrible they really are too. After everything he did....for absolutely nothing!

Since December I have found out he is talking with a woman from Canada....he says he has known her for many years...but she tells him she loves him, says she is saving money to come be with him, calls him "baby" and "habibi"....how is this different than what my daughter did? I try to talk to him, but he gets so angry with me.   He says she is only a friend....that he comes home to me each day, sleeps in our home each night...that she just needs a friend (Well I need my husband).  His family has not spoke to him in over 2 months because of this communication and constant online chatting he does now. He blames me for his family not speaking with him. He is no longer the man I married. The man I married would NEVER have hurt me like this.

I have been wrong too....since my daughter did this, and since I found this woman in Canada, I always look at his phone, his email....it is like I cannot stop.  The only one who is hurt by what i find...is ME!

I pray SOOOO much...I pray Ishtikar....I beg Allah to make this all stop...but it is not.

I feel so alone! I don't want my marriage to end....I Love this man with all of my heart....our son would be devastated. I miss my husband....it is like grieving for someone who has died, but is still in front of your face everyday.

I have gone to two different Mosques, and spoke to the Imam,,,but neither were very responsive and just wanted to speak with my husband, but he will not talk to anyone.  I am completely alone and have NO one to talk to.

So that is my life in a nutshell right now.

Everyday I wonder if this is the day it will all end.
Everyday I wonder if my beautiful daughters and I can ever find a way back to eachother, but then I wonder do I want to, knowing how self-centered they are.
Everyday I wonder why my mother could never love me
Everyday I wonder and I cry. I stop at a park on the way to or from work, pull over and cry. Then I go home and try to put on a smile, so it won't effect our night.
I never worried about our age difference before, but now I question everything...I can't trust. If my daughter who was like my best friend could do this....then why wouldn't he. He is very good looking, very charming....and I am 43 (granted I lost 60 pounds in the last 6 months and am still actively working out....I can't help but wonder when it ALL will end)

My husband goes silent when he is upset, stressed, worried, etc....the silence is like being slowly tortured

I am tired...so tired I feel it deep inside.

I don't know you....but thank you for "listening" to me today.

Insha'Allah you have a wonderful week!


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6 Responses »

  1. Dear sister,
    Wow! You have been through so much, I can yet imagine. I felt like I was reading a novel and stopped for a moment and thought, “This is reality!”

    Firstly, I am extremely sorry to hear about all your struggles. You seem like an honest, warm, loving and beautiful woman, mashAllah. You are very strong and I don’t want you to ever stop believing in yourself. My dear sister, please do not ever contemplate suicide ever, no matter how devastating the situation may be. Do not upset Allah swt this way. Your life is a gift and you must cherish it. Allah swt puts us only through those tests that He knows we have the capacity to bear and overcome. Therefore, I don’t want you to loose hope because there is still some light at the end of this dark tunnel.

    First, I must commend your husband. He really sounds like a fairy tail character (except for maybe the ending—but I will come to this part later). It’s beautiful to know that he is such a hard working man who was devoted to his family back home and his immediate family (your children and you—including your family). Now a days many men don’t even care about their wife and children, and they would never accept caring for their wife’s family, so a hats off to your husband, mashAllah.

    Secondly, I am again sorry to hear what your family and daughters have put you through. It’s unfortunate but in today’s world sometimes even one’s family isn’t real—and I’m sure you’ve realized that. Your daughter has been extremely selfish and self-centered. If she was unhappy and interested in another man, she should have been honest and said she no longer wants to be with her husband. Things could have been settled humanely and the damage that has resulted due to her selfish actions has put a strain on the whole family and has broken down your relationship with your husband. I can yet imagine why your husband lashed out so much—he realized that all his hard work went into waste when the people who cared for so much back stabbed him like this and called him all sorts of nasty names. It’s totally unfair that your family treated him in such a way and it’s unfortunate how harmful stereotypes can be.

    Now coming to the solution:

    As I mentioned earlier, you still have some hope. Your husband has been talking to another woman due to all the strain he’s been through and the dissatisfaction he feels for being so devoted to your family and still being called the “bad” guy. In most relationships, infidelity usually occurs when a person is unhappy with their spouse or unsatisfied. You see, for 13 years your husband was loyal to you—why? Because alhumdulillah he was happy. But when your daughter decided to only think of herself and her happiness, things went downhill. Her actions broke a family into two pieces leaving you in the middle trying to glue the family back together. Now he’s distant from you, upset due to your family’s unjustified actions and is seeking comfort elsewhere. Of course, this doesn’t justify him sinning in this way—he has been so genuine with you all and he should remain that way but your household situation has triggered him.

    My dear, you need to try to re-connect with him, tell him that you understand the major injustice which has happened to him and his family but Allah swt sees all and He will rightly avenge those who have been victimized and are innocent. Explain to him that your family has caused enough damage but now he is further damaging what can be saved. Two wrongs don’t make a right and you need to tell him that you and your son are there for him, you love him and are by his side. He doesn’t need to seek comfort elsewhere you’re there to fulfil that role, inshAllah. Communication is essential here—silence isn’t going to get you guys anywhere. In fact, you see the results of this silence and distance; it is slowly taking your husband away from you.

    You also need to vent as you’ve been through so much! You’re husband needs to be there for you. To put it in a nutshell, you both need to be each other’s shield and protect one another in this distressful time. It will inshAllah pass but he needs to realize that he cannot punish you for your daughter’s actions. That’s unfair to you.

    I also believe that now is the time you both seek family counselling or therapy. You both are genuine people; it’s the environmental stressors which are slowly breaking your family apart. Please save your marriage as your husband is a good man but he has lost track of himself—you must bring him back on the right track, inshAllah.

    Also, please remain consistent with your 5x salat and try to offer tahajjud salat if you can. Pray to Allah swt to bestow His mercy on your family.

    May Allah swt give you the strength and patience to overcome this hardship and unite you with your husband again, ameen.

    -Helping Sister

  2. Walaykumsalaam dear Sister Manal,

    I hear so much pain in your voice and I am so sorry for all the difficulties that have come your way.

    There was a lot of information in your account and I did not quite understand everything clearly. However what I did understand was that you reverted to Islam two years ago. You have two adult daughters and one young son from your previous marriage. Your ex husband was very abusive and now you have re-married. Your current husband is from Morocco and you both live in the US. One of your daughters has married your current husband's young brother, but has unfortunately been cheating on him. Since your husband became aware of this, he does not show you the same love and affection he once did and has become distant towards you. However, before he was very helpful to you and your whole family. You now feel that your relationship with your husband and your daughters is breaking down and your relationship with your mother was never and is still not good.

    ***

    Firstly Sister, know that whatever your are going through is a test from Allah. Sometimes we have good times and other times we have difficult times. You were so relieved when you found your current husband because with him, you felt you had finally found happiness after so much pain. But remember this life is a constant test and we will never find complete happiness here. Having said that, Allah says that after every difficulty there is ease.

    Secondly, Alhumdulillah that you are alive. You attempted suicide but Allah made you realise your mistake immediately and he spared you your life and gave you another chance. Suicide is not the answer, its never ever the answer. By taking our lives, all we are doing is literally saying that there is no power that can help you, when as a Muslim, you and I both know that there is most definitely a power stronger than any other. That is the Power and Might of Allah, He is the one who has all the answers and will always hear you and give to you. A Muslim does not live in despair. Despite falling and stumbling, which will happen because that is the nature of man; he may find himself just about surviving and holding on to the egde. But eventually he will rise again, he will struggle and he will work towards striving and thriving. This is because he has faith and hope in something more than this temporary life. He knows that none of his efforts will go in vain. Allah will reward him for even an atoms weight of good.

    Thirdly, remember that you cannot control anyone, not your husband, your mother or your daughters.

    ~ Your husband appears to be a good man but seems to have lost focus since discovering the actions of your daughter. Not so much because she is your daughter, but because the hurt that she has caused his younger brother. He is angry and deep down doesnt blame you, but is directing his negative emotions towards you, because he does not understand how to balance them. On the one hand is his wife - 'you', on the other hand is his brother. He may feel that by being happy with you he is being dis-loyal to his brother. At the same time, I believe he should be adult enough to understand that you are not to blame for your daughter's behaviour. You are all adult and responsible for your own actions.

    I do not know if you have tried this, (you probably have, so forgive me for stating the obvious), but it may do good for you to have one to one with your husband. Say something like this: 'I love you very much, I care for you and respect you and want to make our marriage work. I am so sorry for the issues that have come between us. My daughter has done some very terrible things and I know your brother did not deserve any of this. I dont know where things will go from here but I feel that you are angry at me for what has happened, even though you know full well that I had nothing to do with what happened. We are all adults and are responsible for our own actions, as was my daughter. I want you to do what you can to help your brother and I will support you. At the same time, I know my daughter is in the wrong, but as her mother, I cannot just abandon. I have a responsibility towards her aswell. I do not want this to ruin our marriage either. I want to make things work with you but I need to know that you want the same aswell so we are working from the same page here. If you have any anger towards me or blame me for any of what has happened, please tell me so I know what I am dealing with. I do not feel happy that you are conversing with another woman especially one who clearly has feelings for you, it makes my position as your wife feel threatened. Do you want to work with me to save our marriage?' (And mean it).

    See how he responds to this. InshaAllah, it will open up many issues, but they need to be opened up and once they are then you can see what action to take. I personally think that your husband is in alot of emotional pain and confusion right now and needs your continued love. Keep reassuring him that you love him. He married you without any issue over your age, so do not let shaytan put thoughts into your head. Keep making dua and asking Allah to bring back the compassion and mercy to your marriage. Before sleeping, read ayat-ul Qursi. Also read the last three Surahs of the Quran and blow them over yourself at night and pray for the best outcome.

    ~ With your daughter, I do not think that she set out to deliberately hurt your brother in law or you. But yes, she messed up big time by cheating and in the process hurt alot of people. As her mother, you can make her aware that she has hurt alot of people, that this path she is set on will only bring her more heartache and pain and she should turn back and that you will be there for her when she decides to turn back. I do not know if your daughters are Muslim or not, if they are, it may be easier to counsel/warn them.

    ~ I am sorry that you have never had a good relationship with your mother. You cannot change her, just continue trying to be the best daughter you can be for the sake of Allah. She also seems to have her own issues.

    ***

    I know you are hurting as all the most important relationships in your life seem to be crumbling around you. Your daughters and your mother have their own lives, very separate to yours. So right now, focus on you and your husband. InshaAllah his heart will come back to you. If all those around you are not reciprocating your love, do not feel that it is being wasted. Your love for your mother, your children, your husband is one that in the eyes of Allah is worship. It is a halaal pure love and Allah will reward you for your sincere and genuine feelings and efforts. Whatever happens with you husband, take it as test Sister. I hope you both overcome the issues and find compassion for one another again. If things do not work the way you had wanted with your husband, then this is from Allah and remember that the way Allah gave you this happiness before, He(swt) will give you something again aswell. Everthing comes at its appointed time. So look after your physical, mental and spiritual well being as the happier and more confident you are, the better that will be for you to deal with any situation inshaAllah.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Salaam my sister,

    I am sorry that you are in this emotional war with everyone around you.

    It sounds like the strain of this event has shocked everyone, and everyone is making assumptions about everyone else, and having major conflict between how they balance their thoughts with their actions - so there is conflict in all of you between "how I feel about this" and "what are my actions reflecting". Further conflict is added by the conflict of morals and emotions - "she did wrong(your daughter)" having to be balanced with "she is my child" which has to be balanced with "I hate what she did" balanced with "I love my child". There are these conflicts in all of you and it is manifesting itself in the coldness and tension that has taken over.

    In truth, what has happened is that your daughter left one man for the other, and she went about it very badly. That is what happened, and everything else about the situation is interpretation, reaction, emotion and personal undertstanding. You have all made grand sweeping generalizations of each other and painted each other with the same brush. Yes, what she did was wrong - however that wrong should not be powerful enough to tear you all up like this.

    It is not right that any one person can be held accountable for another's actions - so it is not fair that your husband focus his rage towards you because of the actions of your daughter. Nevertheless, it is instinctive to cut ties with all who threaten and hurt your family, so clearly there is massive conflict in your husband about where his loyalties lie, and how he balances his sense of anger and vengeance with the fact that you had a happy and healthy marriage.

    This problem you are in is very deep, and you and you and your us and need to get to the bottom of some very deep, powerful and innate emotions and feelings before you will be able to move on from this. As a first step I recommend that you attend counseling, preferably with a marriage counsellor (you can go without us and if he will not come with you) and settle some conflicts that are in your own mind be ause when you begin to get clear about what you feel, what you do and what you belive - your impact on your environment will be stronger, because you will be coming from a clean and clear centre - whereas at the moment, you are in a state of grief, loss and weakness. You have lost many relationships in one go, and it sounds like you are finding it difficult to navigate your way through and come to a state of being which can bring peace to your heart.

    Don't distance from your daughters. They have made mistakes - but they are your children, and you are their mother. Hate their actions, but do not had them or cut the relationship, younneed each other more than you dislike each other.

    I hope your husband will come to realize that punishing you for this is not bringing him the peace he seeks, or the satisfaction. He needs to forgive you, because you have not done any wrong to him. He cannot change what has happened and he should not continue on in this way causing you and himself never-ending pain. There must be a way to him see this. There must be something that can connect with him.

    In the meantime, strengthen yourself and build yourself up. You will need energy, confidence and clarity to heal these pains, so invest in the help you need.

    Peace,

    Leyla
    Editor, Islamic Answers

  4. Sister manar, I read your question this morning then I took my car for repair and was thinking about a response. When I got home I refreshed the page and ma-sha-Allah I see that Helping Sister and SisterZ have already expressed everything I was going to say.

    Unfortunately everyone in this situation has either done the wrong thing, or reacted in the wrong way. In my opinion it was wrong to let your husband pay your mother's mortgage and your father's bills. That's too much to put on a new husband and may have led him to feel like he was used or taken advantage of.

    Obviously your daughter Toree started the whole chain of dominoes by cheating on her husband. She was young and irresponsible and reckless. At that point you could have looked to your husband as a source of strength, and also drawn upon your relationship with Allah. You could have denounced your daughter's actions, and worked with your husband to help Rachid cope with the situation. Instead you made the worst possible choice by trying to kill yourself, which made you the next domino in the chain. Instead of being part of the solution, you added to the problem.

    Did it ever occur to you that your husband may have taken your attempted suicide as a rejection and abandonment of him? That maybe he was deeply hurt by that, and felt betrayed? And honestly, I don't understand your response. So your daughter made the wrong choice and did something terrible, why would you respond to that by trying to kill yourself? It doesn't make sense, and makes me think that you have some deep-seated psychological issues. I think you have not trusted your own happiness, and have been waiting for something to come along and ruin it, and as soon as it did you overreacted.

    My guess is that your husband feels betrayed by you and your entire family. Your daughter betrayed him by cheating on his brother, you betrayed him with your attempted suicide, your relatives betrayed him by calling him names after he had helped them so much... No wonder he doesn't want anything more to do with all of you. I think he has shut off the love he had for you, and somewhere in his mind he is already preparing to move on and find someone else.

    But it's not too late. As both sisters said, you need to have an honest dialogue with your husband. Putting on a smile and pretending that everything is fine will not do it. You must communicate with him. Start by remembering why you fell in love with him in the first place. Remember all the good things that your relationship was founded on, then work to rebuild the marriage with those things in mind. You are not responsible for your daughter's actions nor your mother and sister's actions, but you are responsible for your own poor responses to this situation. Your husband needs to know that you are stable, that you love him, that you intend to be there for him, and that you want to rebuild what you had. Do your best to love him, and remind him why he fell in love with you.

    You and your husband must be the center. You can't try to take care of everyone else, or take responsibility for their mistakes. Let it be about you and your husband, together as a Muslim husband and wife, remembering your connection with Allah. Then proceed from there, Insha'Allah.

    If you can find a Muslim marriage counselor, I think that might help very much as well.

    ‎"Every human being has the ability to break, destroy, tear down, demolish, disassemble, and dismantle a thing... The blessed are those who have the capability to build, construct, repair, assemble and unite." - Bilal Mustafa

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Young man, 30. Young men do create troubles with passing time, not for themselves but their elder wives.

    At the time of marriage or falling in love, they think they can manage but when they get together, with passing time they find their youth being "attractive" to other women and realize that they could have got younger ladies and still can get if they will.

    Assalamu alaykum Sister,

    Without using much of my brains, I would like to present to you the Word of Allah, ayaats from the Qur'an on marital problems:

    You may try to look up for someone from his side whom he would listen to, someone genuinely interested in helping you solve this problem and a similar person from your side.

    35. And if ye fear a breech between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware. - Surah An Nisaa.

    You should also try to work yourself by consulting him in kindness in personal communication with him and try to achieve terms of peace with him by discussing the situation, Insha Allah.

    128. If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, Lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do.
    129. Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so): But turn not altogetheraway (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.
    - Surah An Nisaa.

    If after this, you are still not able to find peace and you think life can be better without him, then you may at last seek a separation from him by divorce.

    130. But if they separate, Allah will compensate each out of His abundance. Allah is ever All Embracing, All Knowing.
    131. Unto Allah belongeth whatsoever is in the heavens and whatsoever is in the earth And We charged those who received the Scripture before you, and (We charge) you, that ye keep your duty toward Allah. And if ye disbelieve, lo! unto Allah belongeth whatsoever is in the heavens and whatsoever is in the earth, and Allah is ever Absolute, Owner of Praise.
    132. Unto Allah belongeth whatsoever is in the heavens and whatsoever is in the earth. And Allah is sufficient as Defender.
    - Surah An Nisaa.

    Allah alone in enough for you as your defender, as the one to provide for you. Think about what you can do, think about what you want to do. Just allow yourself to think and act in the right way. Read the Qur'an with meanings Insha Allah to seek Allah's guidance in matters of life.

    http://www.openburhan.net/ob.php?sid=1&vid=1

    Insha Allah, Allah will help you as He helps all those who seek His help.

    Salaam,
    Your brother.

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