My parents hate Islam but I want to convert and marry
Assalam alaykoum dear brothers and sisters,
I was born as a Christian and hoping to convert to Islam pretty soon inshaAllah. Since a very young age, I've always felt closer to Muslims than Christians and I've always been interested by this religion though I didn't know a lot about it.
5 months ago, I met this Muslim man. He's very pious mashAllah and we care alot about each other. He showed me how beautiful Islam is I started reading the Quran. I am still learning but I can feel it in my heart, Allah (SAWS) showed me the truth.
The problem is that my parents hate everything related to Islam (they are very pious Christians) and since they knew that I was interested in Islam, my parents are very sad and my father even got health problems because of it. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and I hope Allah (SAWS) will give them strength.
This Muslim man's parents really appreciate me, but since problems started to occur in my family, they didn't want to get involved with this situation. His mother called a Muslim woman which is known for doing Istikhara and she asked her about our future (me and him) and the Istikhara said it would be very very bad. We didn't understand why, we are two pious people and we fear Allah (SAWS) and we want to live our future life the way the Quran teaches us.
Right now, the major problem is that I want to convert, I am still learning and may Allah (SAWS) help me through this, but there are a lot of problems in my family because of it. My question is, if I keep learning about Islam while staying a good person, can Istikhara change if we wait until I convert to Islam inshAllah to do it again?
Thanks for your answers, may Allah (SAWS) enlighten your lives.
- Sousou2828
8 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
As salamu alaykum Sousou2828,
There is no way to predict the future, then I cannot answer your question, what I can tell you is that you should sit with your parents and go directly to the point in the most loving and respectful way you can.
The right way for this man to approach you if he has intention of marriage is talking to your parents about his intentions, and both of you should stop any kind of contact until this is done and the only way you have to be with him after it, is with someone else (family member- wali- guardian) present. Dating is not alloud in Islam.
Parents approval and blessing is important, do you think your parents will accept him? And do his family accept you? maybe here is where you have the main obstacle, .... just to think about it.
May Allah(swt) guide our steps to the Straight Path, insha´Allah.
All my unconditional Love and Respect,
María
Assalamu aleikum Sousou2828..
My sister, I am neither mufti nor I can give you a fatwa, but alhamdulillah I was born Muslim and that is mercy from Almighty Allah to me, to my parents and to my ancestors, may Allah have mercy on them, on all Muslims and guide all offspring of Adam aleihi salam and specially your parents..aaamiin.
My dear sister as far as I am concerned Istikhara is only for person concerned to do and then decide which way he/she feels is virtues in, however, the following istikhara is something that I have never heard about and it seems to me like you ask someone about future "His mother called a Muslim woman which is known for doing Istikhara and she asked her about our future (me and him) and the Istikhara said it would be very very bad"
Even the person concerned can not say fully it is bad or good, but says after istikhara "Allah knows best, but I think I should do this", so how this mother can say it is very very bad??. Avoid this kind of cultural misconception and follow only Quran and Hadith of prophet saw.
I would like to advise to do three things:
1. convert to Islam as soon as possible, because you do not know how long you are going to live.
2. Because your parents are non-muslims and according to your believe (Islam) they are not on the right path and they are not nor they can advise you, if they would advise you they had given advice to themselves, so take a Muslim pious man as your waly (guardian).
Remember there is not obedient in disobedient to Allah, so listen to Allah and leave what your parents say even if they die, because you convert to Islam..I f Allah wants that they die, because of your new religion you can not stop all what you can do is to save your life from hell and build good relation with Allah.
3. Finally is about your marriage make istikhara, consult with your gurdian, talk to him, to his parent Islamically, not that his mother asks someone about your future that is really shirk, but she can consult with someone...about future is only for Allah....
That is what I know about Islam and my opinion about your situation and what I would do, if I was in that situation like you my dear sister. There are brothers and sisters, who know this religion very well than me
ask them more detail....I welcome anyone to correct me and to teach me more about my religion...
Sincerely your brother in Islam Abdullah..
Dear, many times in life people have to confront a situation of choice as you have been through. A choice between the truth and the will of the near and dear one's who misunderstood the nature of truth only and only because of some prejudices they might have been harbouring within themselves as your parents are because of a mere lethargy to get up and find out what are the truthful realities are. Islam is a truthful reality to which you are endowed upon by the sheer will of Allah (SWT). You ought to brush aside the obstacles and jump to the realm of reality truth and benevolence. The parents of yours will remain your parents after that as well and even then Allah requires you to serve them. In the begening people were dragged over burning coals and baking sand for their choice of islam know these are not the conditions any where in the world (Alhamdulilah). Your embracing islam and getting married are two saperate issues pray to Allah for some solution and and be resolute to truth and be adamant to clinging the truth for not everybody is given such glorious chance but only the chosen one's like you by Allah.
now a days its not a big deal to marry other religion people, its better to discuss openly with your parents regarding the issue.. how much u love the person and abt the islamic religion...its all the way you approach and convence...
hi dear,,,i have same situation...i love muslim man...but thought i m not going to change my belief...if he wants u and loves change himself...all the way i love muslim world,them dances,them clothes stile,muslim countries and traditions....but it s not enough to change my belief and sell my jesus,u r cristian and must be cristian....i think if soneone changes them faith they believe nothing...u dont need quran....read our bible,and jesus ll shou u right way ....to love...to life.maybe u think that islam is in u...it s attracts u and it s interesting ...because i feel like that....but i know that jesus is real god and orthodox people ll survive from the hell ....thats why i m not going to change...love is beautiful but don t pelish ur soul,it s more important thing,this life is only test for futurre life(after death)and i wish u think about this and take a exams for another world....dont forget ....;the way to the hell is covered with flowers'....think so much my dear...its veryy inmportant thing for ur soul,dont distrroy it,and love dont blindfolds ur eyes plz....
I changed my clothes, i changed my lifestyle, i changed my food, i lost my parents, I lost my friends, I gained friends that accept me only because I converted, but nevertheless i feel part of a group of people , I belong.
In the process I have lost myself... who I am. I stopped loving myself so I can love somebody else.
Love Your Neighbor as Yourself
A Jewish boy asking about Islam
Hi.
I live in a Jew house, but for a long time I'm learning about the islam and the quran.
I think the Islam the the right way, and want to learn more about it and maybe to become a muslim. What to do?
Praise be to Allaah.
You may be a young man for whom Allaah wills good. We admire you because, although you live in a Jewish family, you have been reading about Islam and the Qur’aan for some time, and you think that Islam is the true religion. All of this is a great achievement and an important step, for which you deserve to be encouraged. Your search for the truth at your age shows that your reasoning is strong and that your thinking is correct. So we congratulate you for the way in which you are thinking, and advise you to read more and to look at good Islamic sites on the Internet. On this site you will find a lot of information and answers to questions from people whose circumstances are similar to yours. Now let us look at the story of a Jewish youth who lived at the time of the Prophet of Islam, Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
From Anas (may Allâh be pleased with him): a young man from among the Jews used to serve the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The boy became sick, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to visit him when he was on his death-bed. He called him to Islam, and the boy looked at his father, who was standing by his head. His father said, “Listen to Abu’l-Qaasim.” [Abu’l-Qaasim (Father of al-Qaasim) was the kunya or “nickname” of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) – it is an Arab custom to address people as “Father of” and “Mother of” their oldest son – Translator]. So the boy became Muslim, then he died. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came away from him saying, “Praise be to Allaah Who has saved him from the Hell-Fire.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 12896; also narrated in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 1268). So go ahead and embrace Islam as your predecessor did, so that you will be saved from Hell and will earn the victory of Paradise as great as the heavens and the earth.
We also want to present you with the following story which contains an important lesson and a moving account of a young man who looked for the truth, and was helped by Allaah to find it:
Haddaab ibn Khaalid told us, Hammaad ibn Salamah told us, Thaabit told us from ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Abi Layla from Suhayb that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There was a king among the people who came before you who had a magician. When the magician grew old, he said to the king, ‘I have grown old, so send me a boy to whom I can teach magic.’ So the king sent him a boy, and he taught him magic. On his way, the boy passed by a monk, so he sat with him and listened to him, and he liked what he said. When he came to the magician, he passed by the monk and sat with him, then when he came to the magician, he hit him because he was late. The boy complained about that to the monk, who said, ‘If you are afraid of the magician, tell him, ‘I was late because of my family’ and if you are afraid of your family, tell them, ‘I was late because of the magician.’ Whilst this was going on, he came across a huge beast that was blocking the people’s way. He said, ‘Today I will know whether the monk is better or the magician.’ He picked up a stone and said, ‘O Allâh, if the monk’s way is dearer to you than the magician’s way, then kill this beast so that the people may go on their way.’ Then he threw the stone and killed the beast, and the people went on their way. He came to the monk and told him what had happened. The monk said to him, ‘O my son, today you are better than I, you have reached such a level and now you will be tested. If you are put to the test, do not tell anyone about me.’ The young man began to heal the blind and the lepers, and to cure people from all kinds of sickness. One of the king’s courtiers who had become blind heard about him, so he brought him many gifts and said, ‘Whatever I have piled up here is for you, if you heal me.’ The boy said, ‘I do not heal anyone, it is Allaah who heals. If you believe in Allaah and call on Allaah, He will heal you.’ So he believed in Allaah and and Allaah healed him. Then he came to the king and sat with him as he had always done. The king said to him, ‘Who gave you back your sight?’ He said, ‘My Lord.’ The king said, ‘Do you have any lord other than me?’ He said, ‘My Lord and your Lord is Allaah.’ So the king took him and kept touring him until he told him about the boy. So the boy was brought to the king, who said, ‘O my son, I have heard about your magic, that you heal the blind and the leper, and you do such and such.’ The boy said, ‘I do not heal anyone, it is Allaah Who heals.’ The took him and tortured him until he told him about the monk. The monk was brought and was told, ‘Give up your religion,’ and he refused. So a saw was brought and placed on the top of his head, and he was cut in two. Then the king’s courtier was brought and was told, ‘Give up your religion,’ and he refused. So a saw was brought and placed on the top of his head, and he was cut in two. Then the boy was brought and was told, ‘Give up your religion,’ and he refused. The king gave him to a group of his companions and said, ‘Take him to such and such a mountain, and take him up the mountain. When you reach the top of the mountain, if he gives up his religion (then leave him alone), otherwise throw him down. So they took him up the mountain, and the boy said, ‘O Allaah, protect me from them in whatever manner You wish.’ So the mountain was shaken and they fell down, and the boy came walking back to the king. The king asked, ‘What happened to your companions?’ He said, ‘Allaah protected me from them.’ Then the king gave him to another group of his companions, and said, ‘Take him and put him on a ship, then take him to the middle of the sea. If he gives up his religion (then leave him alone), otherwise throw him overboard. So they took him and he said, ‘O Allaah, protect me from them in whatever manner You wish.’ The boat was turned upside down and they drowned, and the boy came walking back to the king. The king asked, ‘What happened to your companions?’ He said, ‘Allaah protected me from them.’ The boy said to the king: ‘You will not be able to kill me unless you do what I tell you.’ The king said, ‘What is that then?’ He said, ‘Gather the people together in one place and crucify me on a tree-trunk, then take an arrow from my quiver and put it in your bow. Then say, “In the name of Allaah, the Lord of the boy” and shoot me. If you do that, you will kill me.’ So the king gathered the people in one place, crucified the boy on a tree-trunk, took an arrow from his quiver and placed it in his bow. Then he said, ‘In the name of Allaah, the Lord of the boy’ and shot him. The arrow hit his temple (the side of his head), and he put his hand on the side of his head where he had been hit, and died. The people said, ‘We believe in the Lord of the boy, we believe in the Lord of the boy, we believe in the Lord of the boy.’ Someone came to the king and said, ‘Do you see what you were afraid of? By Allâh, what you were afraid of has happened to you now.’ So he ordered that ditches should be dug at the intersections of the streets, and they were dug and fires were lit in them. Then he said, ‘Whoever does not give up his religion, throw him into them’ or it was said, ‘Throw yourselves in’. They did this until they came to a woman who had a baby with her. She felt scared to throw herself in, but the infant said to her, ‘O mother, have patience, for you are on the right path.’” (Reported by Muslim in his Saheeh, 5327).
After telling this moving story about a boy coming to know the truth and believe in it and adhere to it, we would like to say to you if you think that your family will give you a hard time if you become Muslim, then you can keep your Islam secret and do your prayers in secret, until Allaah finds a way for you, for He will find the best way for you. We welcome you as a reader and questioner, and as a future brother in Islam, in sha Allaah.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Assalam alaykoum Just Convert to Islam Because He, or She is not A perfect Muslim Until He, or She Late In such Good working