My wife had sex with her Hindu boyfriend
Cheating wife.
S/W
We had a love marriage and after one month of marriage she was not happy with my behavior and she got into a relationship with a Hindu guy. She had sex with him 3 times in a hotel, also she gave him a blow job, had sex without protection and in various positions. She was sending her nude pictures to him.
She wanted a divorce from me. She even made a police complaint and even her family was in her support, but even they didn't know about her affair. She told them that I'm not a good guy and all sorts of things and convinced them all well.
Her plan was to divorce me, then marry with that guy after some time and settle down with him. She was forcing me for divorce so that she can marry that guy. She used to do all sort of things to get divorce from me. She refused to have sex with me and even did abortion.
Once I came to know so, I asked her and she confessed everything and now she is sorry and wants to stay with me but I can't ...I want to forgive her and stay with her but in my mind all the things keep coming up.
I want to know whether should I trust her or should I leave her? If you ask me I don't want to stay with her any more.
HolySmoke
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Salam,
Normally she would ask god for forgiveness and move on without looking back. You seem to be married not too long ago, I can tell you with my long marriage experience that things won't stay the same and if she cheated once she may have the urge to do it again. I don't know why you stayed with her anyways while she was doing all that to you. You need to have a huge heart to forgive her but you also need to know when to let go.
Thanks,
Rami
OP: She had sex with him 3 times in a hotel, also she gave him a blow job, had sex without protection and in various positions
How do you know all this?
How long were you friends with her before you got married?
Did you change your behavior towards your wife after marriage? If so why?
You say "If you ask me I don't want to stay with her any more.". Just leave her and move on then. Have you been involved with other girls, since you became friends with your current wife.
Wow, I'm very sorry for your situation, but your wife need to ask Allah for forgiveness. And if you decided to stay with her, things will never be the same and she will probably cheat again. But why did she came back to you, I bet because of her Hindu boyfriend left her. But I'm sorry to say, but she doesn't love you and do not respect you, she sees you as a week man. She wanted a divorce than be a man about it and give it to her, it a big lesson that she needs to learn. What she did was haram in so many different levels. May Allah forgive her and guide to the right path.
Dear brother sorry to hear about your situation. Best thing you can do is to divorce her .Why she want to stay with you now ?is it because her boyfriend has left her
Now some drama might come up about her sincere regret and repentance but it is not worth to forgive .These bad part of life will come again and again in your mind if you continue this marriage ..Collect all proofs of her adulterous relationship and divorce her ...don't fall for repentance and forgiveness dramas...
its not good .
Dear brother sorry to hear about your
situation. Best thing you can do is to
divorce her .Why she want to stay with
you now ?is it because her boyfriend has
left her
Now some drama might come up about
her sincere regret and repentance but it is
not worth to forgive .These bad part of life
will come again and again in your mind if
you continue this marriage ..Collect all
proofs of her adulterous relationship and
divorce her ...don't fall for repentance and
forgiveness dramas...
saidu, why you are copy pasting my comments ?
Maybe she liked your advice....
I also like logical advise a bit harsh but true reality
How did you come to know your wife cheated on you astagfilAllah there is a saying if you don't know don't make things up without proof. If your wife has cheated on you the way you written in your post then you have every right to divorce her. No one should put up with unfaithful partner and I mean no one. You don't deserve to be treated like this, you deserve respect and clearly your wife is not giving you that so why be with her. Stop allowing her to make a fool out of you please leave her and move on.
Salaam
Brother, I am very sorry to know about this all. But please tell us that how did you find all of this stuff, that she had sex with her bf, and it was 3 times, and was in a hotel and also she gave him blow job and no use of any protection, and they did it in different positions. How?
coz she confessed every thing to Me wen she got to know that the guy was using her...I came to know abt her relationship from outside....asked her told her that the guy is using u...and den she told me each and everything. .
Salaams,
There are lots of red flags in the relationship you describe with your wife. She did horrendous things that obliterated the foundation of trust in the marriage, wanted to leave you, and is now begging you back. I can't imagine someone in your position would feel secure to keep going with someone like that.
If you don't feel you can trust her or want to stay with her, then don't. She left you first, and she betrayed you first. In my view, she's the one that destroyed the relationship. You're not destroying it by refusing to take her back.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I hope this isn't true and if it is. I blame the writer.
what are you thinking staying with a woman that's been disrespecting you this whole time?
world population today is 7,254,069,140+ so no one needs to feel important my friend. move on.
There are way too many good girls around. good luck!
@Siyvd YOU BLAME THE WRITER and no one needs to feel important. He never said he needed to feel important.
You should be ashamed for saying such words to someone who came here to ask for help and advise. Instead you ripped his heart out. I pray you never or anyone else in his position is blamed for their wife or husbands actions. I feel so sorry for the OP who will read this and you making him feel ten times low, really hope he becomes a stronger better person. And no one else goes through this pain that they don't deserve.
Sister. I dont think Siyvd meant that writer is trying to get importance. He means the writer is giving too much importance to his wife and hesitating in leaving her. Infact he should have left the girl a long time ago when she registered complaint against him. He is a good guy and he doesnt deserve a wife like this.
Honestly Its ur path its a hard one .I feel for you bro .
OP: Once I came to know so, I asked her and she confessed everything
Your wife should get some credit, she told you every thing, like she had sex with him 3 times in a hotel, also she gave him a blow job, had sex without protection and in various positions.
Did you promise her anything like if she tells you the truth, you won't hold it against her?
I was just thinking how readers will react, if the cheater is a husband (non-Western origin) telling his sexual conquests to his wife. Poor wife if never had a job, would have no alternative but to be with her husband
tell about her illegal affair to her family and divorce her and marry a religious girl.your mistake was to believe in bollywood type modern life.follow the marriage rules given in hadith.
she did a mistake and she has known now that if she is divorced,its gonna be a problem.she wants you for financial security.if she has repented and turned islamic,then pray to AllahSWT to destroy the life of the one who did adultery with your wife.
if you have doubts regarding her character,do Istikhara and ask for guidance in dua,if you get a negative answer,follow the first point i gave.
MARRY A RELIGIOUS ONE ALWAYS.
MARRY A RELIGIOUS ONE ALWAYS.
MARRY A RELIGIOUS ONE ALWAYS.
i emphasise the above point to everyone.
after you marry a religious wife then she will guard her chastity.
if you get a negative answer that makes your wife a cheat,ask AllahSWT to send such a lesson that even the greatest adulterer in this planet will be scared to even see or touch this woman.
may AllahSWT guide you.
Salaams,
Praying for revenge or bad things to come upon someone -even if they've sinned- is not the way of Muslims or Islam. The one who committed the adultery with his wife is not the only one at fault- she is equally accountable if not more so. Praying for their destruction, or anyone else's, is not the approprite response. Praying that they repent and be guided would be more effective.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
OP: We had a love marriage and after one month of marriage she was not happy with my behavior .....She wanted a divorce from me. She even made a police complaint and even her family was in her support.
You need to share more information about your behavior problems and why police complaint was made. How a love marriage turned into a problem after only one month?
Ok
it was a 7 years love which turned into marriage..she is from a poor family . I gave her everything den spoke wid my parents den her parents and later dey agreed now in between a guy comes and proposed her she said no but she would meet him oftenly behind my back...wen we got married after tht she was not happy or may be the guy was making her false promises and she fell for it and thought he can save me and did all this against me....
now she is pregnant with my kid and I don't know what to do....whether to leave her or not my family wants me to forgive her but I'm worried if she might do it again. ..
Marriage needs to be looked at in the long run. You can forgive her today, start a happy life, with all honesty she remains yours (only) but 5, 10, 15, 20 years later .. sooner or later ... a time will come when you guys will have an argument and you will end up saying something about her having an affair ... it will continue to come back and hurt. Relationships can never be rebuilt unless or until she gives up all her rights, and lives a life like a servant of yours that I am sure is not going to be joyful either. Sorry; you guys cannot rebuild it. Never would. God Bless!
If I put a burning coal in your hands? What will you do? DROP IT! right? This is is exactly how a person should be treated if he obliterates the trust and love in the relation. The worst thing you can do rightnow is to lecture her and try to talk things over. DROP THIS WOMAN. DIVORCE BER RIGHT AWAY. It's the question of your respect, honor and dignity. A man can tolerate her woman's every mistake and shortcoming but when she becomes loose and obscene like prostitute she loses respect and value. No man wants to stay with a woman who sleeps around and shows no remorse at all. BROTHER KICK HER OUT OF HER HOUSE AND HER LIFE RIGHTNOW.
HolySmoke ,
Its better if you leave her .