My wife keeps being unfaithful
Cheating wife.
Assalamu Alaikum, I have been married for 10 years. I have a beautiful 6 years old daughter Alhamdulillah. Within few days of marriage, my wife went out with another guy and came to me by herself, confessed everything and I explained her not to do that again. Then after a year she did cheat again. This time I found out by myself but could not stop myself continuing with her. I thought she will be fine If I give her sometime.
Then we both came abroad. Just 6 months after, she became engaged with a guy. I found out and sent her back home. That time she became pregnant. It was around 2008.
After that it was going well. She started doing wrong again from 2013 and messed up everything. We are muslim and she started talking to a hindu person in my workplace. I faced both of them and explained that it is not good as we have a daughter. She did not bother about me, even the guy. She says she does not like me. But how come a hindu guy gets the place to a muslim women and mother. No idea! Then I planned to send her back home from overseas. I thought it will be good if the environment is changed. She is back home now.
I cannot make e decision even after so many things. Is it my emotion or because of my daughter? What should be the Islamic way to take a decision which does not affect my daughter. Should I divorce her or give her another chance even after she did cheating many time in 10 years marriage. Please help me with Islamic advise.
rakib123
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Salaam brother, leave her - nothing to think about! I know you have an emotional attachment to her because you loved her with a pure heart and you consider her your wife, but she is disrespecting you persistently and committing a huge sin recurrently !! She is not worth the effort, you have already given her multiple chances. Get rid of her!!
Assalam alaikum Brother,
After she continues to do this, with no regret or remorse, I don't believe she is leaving you with much choice. You might give her a chance, but after giving her one more chance after she repeatedly cheats on you, you aren't really giving her a chance...you are giving her many many undeserved chances.
Sit her down, calmly explain to her that you cannot risk the negative impact this will have on your daughter nor the risk of STI's and then give her your decision. If you need then pray Isthikhara, talk to an Imam, go for counselling, but if you try all of those things to the best of your ability and continues to fail you and your family, I doubt that she will have left any room for another chance.
May Allah protect you and your little daughter, Ameen.
Assalaamualaikam
I think you know in yourself that this woman does not respect either you or herself enough to make this work. She's been unfaithful on multiple occasions and doesn't seem to feel remorse for that.
When thinking about what's best for your daughter, it's important to keep in mind that children learn from what is around them, and the examples their parents set. What kind of example is your wife setting for your daughter? That it's acceptable to commit zina, to disrespect the person who is meant to be one of the two most important people in her life? And what message does your daughter get from her mother doing bad things again and again, and getting away with it?
I think the best course of action would be to pray istikhara, speak with your parents if you can, and then decide - do you want to continue the way things are (she's not shown any signs of wanting to change), or do you want to take a stand and say "No more"?
If you decide to end the marriage, make sure that you have a good lawyer and file for custody rights as soon as possible. I'm not sure where you live, but some countries in the West can tend to favour mothers over fathers in custody disputes, so it's important to be able to demonstrate to the legal system that you are fully capable of having the responsibility of main or joint custody of your daughter. Remember though, that your wife also has rights to be involved with her daughter's life, so try to come to an arrangement that means your daughter can spend time with both parents, without unnecessary conflicts between them.
May Allah guide you to what is best for you and your daughter.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
I'm so sorry for what you're going through... Your wife is a nightmare!!!! Did you not assess her character before you married her?....
Salam my brother in Islam
U have such a kind, lovn and forgiving heart
If u can't decide divorce, then u should think of
Seperation, and in that time apart , make ur decision
As parents our actions effects the children, ur wifes behaviour
And actions are no benefit to ur daughter, and are displeasing to
Allah swt, may Allah swt forgive her and guide her to her repentance