Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m not happy about her decision to only be friends.

Interactions between the engaged couple

Assalaam wa alaikum

I have been in love with this certain girl for 1 and half to two years now.

My current age is 15.

I know at this age all this might be inappropriate.

So my dear ummah please help me in this  challenge.

I love her personally and for the sake of Allah and wish to marry her.

The other reason I feel love is because mashallah her parents instilled very good sunnah and values in her.

Right.

This girl I have fallen  in love with is very pretty.

She is very very devoted to our beloved Islam and she loves Allah very much.

 One day she admitted she loved me.

Today I have met with  the following problems:

1.she wants some time and space

2.she does not know what happened to the love she had for me

3.her friend interrupted her decisions on  our love

4.here's something really severe - we both  at the same time touched the quran  and made the proposal amongst ourselves and promised to marry no  matter what

5.I do not feel like studying ,eating,drinking because this problem has had an effect on everything in my life

6.I am not happy about her decision  to only be friends

7.I always threatened her quite a bit

Please help me and give me best solution  from  my beloved Ummah.

please my Ummah guide me into solutions and insha-allah help me overcome my grief that could destroy my life

muslimloverboycpt


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4 Responses »

  1. ASSALAMALAIKUM-
    muslimloverboycpt VERY GOOD TITLE YAAR-
    33:36]"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by ALLAH and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys ALLAH and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path".
    DEAR U R VERY INTELEGENT AND CALCULATIVE-YOU WANT TO DEFY ALLAH AND THEN SAY ALL YOU ARE DOING FOR TH SAKE OF ALLAH-I love her personally and for the sake of Allah and wish to marry her.
    AFTER THE WRONG A BECOME PROBLEM AND YOU ADD ONE MORE WRONG BY PLAYING WITH QURAN-
    we both at the same time touched the quran and made the proposal amongst ourselves and promised to marry no matter what...
    AND GREATEST ONE IS YOU ARE CALLING US YOUR UMMAH UMMAH- SORRY WE ARE THE UMMAH OF MUHAMMAD SALALAHUALAIHIWASALAM-
    NOW COMING TO ANSWER PLEASE GO ABOUT YOUR STUDIES AND SEE THAT YOU MEND YR ROUTE BY FOLLOWING WHAT ALLAH SAID-THAT IS THE SOLUTION FOR YOU-
    YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT LOVE AND TOUCHING PLS READ THIS CAREFULLY-Correspondence between the sexes is not permissible, because that provokes temptation and usually results in evil. If a man corresponds with a non-mahram woman in letters that are not seen by anyone else, that leads to many evils.
    As for the love that stems from repeated looking, haraam mixing or correspondence, the one who does that is sinning to the extent that he does haraam things in his relationship and love.
    Islam forbids a woman to be alone with a man who is not her mahram because of the fitnah (temptation) and bad things that result from that, such as attachment and the desire to look and touch, etc.
    All of this results from the man talking to the woman in these private letters or conversations, especially if they are young and at an age when desire is strong.
    Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and young women, if this correspondence is free from immorality, love and desire?
    He replied: It is not permissible for any person to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the temptation involved in that. The person may think that there is no temptation, but the shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him through her, and tempts her through him.
    WHAT SHE DID IS THE CORRECT THING MAY BE HER PARENTS TRAINING IS WORKING SERIOUSLY ON HER-
    REGARDS

    • @HER PARENTS TRAINING IS WORKING SERIOUSLY ON HER

      Then why she first say she love him......................................

      • Asslamalaikum-
        SAME THING HAPPENED TO ADAM AND HAWA BUT THEY REPENTING WAS LANDING IN THE PSEUDO-BEAUTIFUL WORLD FOR THE SAKE OF PUNISHMENT AND EARN BACK PARADISE WITH OUR DEEDS AND HERE WE MUST REPENT AND EARN THE PLEASURE OF ALLAH AND THAT IS THE ACID TEST-
        WE CAME HERE FOR BUT WE CANNOT GO ON DOING OFT REPEATED SINS TAKING ALLAH FOR GRANTED WHAT THE GIRL DID WAS RIGHT-
        NO INJUSTICE FROM ALLAH
        [Quran –4:40] “Indeed, Allah does not do injustice,[even] as much as an atom's weight; while if there is agood deed, He multiplies it and gives from Himself a great reward.”
        The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) has said[Bukhari,
        Book #93, Hadith #592] “Narrated Abu Huraira:Allah's
        Apostle said, "Allah says, "If My slave intends to do a bad deed then (O Angels) do not write it unless he does it; if he does it, then write it as it is, but if he refrains from doing it for My Sake, then write it as a good deed (in his account). (On the other hand) if he intends to go a good deed, but does not do it, then write a good deed (in his account), and if he does it, then write it for him (in his account) as ten good deeds up to seven-hundred times.”
        [Bukhari, Book #2, Hadith #40] “Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's
        Apostle said, "If any one of you improve (follows strictly) his Islamic religion then his good deeds will be rewarded ten times to seven hundred times for each good deed
        and a bad deed will be recorded as it is."
        [Muslim, Book #001, Hadith #0234] “It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that theMessenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) observed: Allah, to do good, but does not do it, I write one good act for him, but if he puts it into practice I wrote from ten to seven hundred good deeds in favour of him. When he intends to commit an evil, but does not actually do it, do not record it. But if
        he does it, I write only one evil.”[Muslim,Book #041, Hadith #7039] “Abu Huraira reportedAllah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) having said:
        Hasten to do good deeds before six things happen: the rising of the sun from the west, the smoke, the Dajjal, the beast and (the death) of one of you or the general turmoil.”[Abudawud, Book #41, Hadith#5059]
        Are we becoming less deserving of Allah’s blessings?
        When we look around us and the miseries that have plagued the world, one wonders where the blessings have gone. Are we robbing ourselves of Allah’s blessings and becoming less deserving of them? Ibn Al-Qayyim briefly addressed this topic and writes as follows:
        "The earth trembles, the heavens have darkened, evil has appeared on land and on sea because of the injustices of the wicked, and evil doers. Blessings have disappeared, good deeds are less, and life has become corrupted because of the wickedness of the wrong-doers. The morning light and the night's darkness shed tears, because of the awful deeds that are committed. Honorable writers among the angels and others from among them have complained to their Lord because of the prevalence of misdeeds and the supremacy of atrocities. "

  2. Salaams,

    I tried to follow what you were saying, and what I understand is that you fell in love with a girl, and she eventually fell in love with you too. Now, for whatever reason, she isn't feeling that way anymore. I'm not sure what you meant when you said you "threatened her a lot", but that doesn't sound good. If you are threatening someone you claim to care about, I would say that is obsession more than love. Love does not threaten another person.

    At any rate, you're very, very young. Despite the way you feel, there really is no basis for a relationship between the two of you for two reasons: 1. She doesn't appear to be interested in one. 2. You are not letting your parents get involved in the proper way so that this can go forward into marriage when you are both ready for that.

    I suggest you let her go and put your energy into completing your studies and planning your future career. If you want to pursue marriage again with someone else, let your parents know so they can approach the girl's family properly.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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