I am not sure if he’s the one for me
Decisions.
salaam,
around 8 months ago my mom made me meet a guy who was a complete stranger to the family. Even though I was hesitant to meet and talk my cousin, my chachi and my mom forced me to meet and speak to him. It was a 15 minute meeting and he flew back to UAE that very day.
But somehow he got my mobile nmber and contacted me. I informed my family about this, and they motivated me to speak to him and get to know him more. Initially I was very rude and reluctant to speak, but as time passed I became comfortable but told him no for marriage. He proved to his best level that he really loved me and I started believing it.
Our conversations increased. We mostly spoke over the phone- we did not involve chatting and facebook for at least 5 months. He spoke to his family about me and sent his mom from UAE to INDIA to ask for my hand in marriage. My dad (who was hesitating and felt that he was not the right guy) also agreed, as he liked the family. In the meantime my mom and her sisters consulted 4-5 spiritual priests, who would match our stars with the help of our names. All of them said no for this marriage. One of them first said that he was perfect for me, but after a week the same person said that he is not trustworthy.
The third time he said that our marriage won't last for more than a year. My mom panicked and forced me to backout. I tried my best and stepped back. Within 2 weeks he arrived in India to meet me and my family and sort things out. After meeting him my family was very happy. He met all my relatives from my dad's side, but unfortunately my mom didn't allow him to meet her brothers and sisters.
-sabahfadi
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Salams sister,
Im not an expert on your situation but I do know that consulting spiritual priests and stars is shirk...the only thing that should be done is istikhara asking Allah swt what is best. Pray istikhara once a night for a week and see what happens if there are any signs. Please so not go by what priests and black magic and stars suggest because you dont need them when you can make dua and ask Allah the Creator himself.
Another suggestion is to watch closely how this boy treats his mother. It is a saying that how the boy treats his mother is how he will treat you.
Peace,
Shereen
Assalaamualaikum Sister Shereen,
From my personal experience, I would like to share that the saying is just a saying, it has no consensus in how the real life's are progressing today. I mean that my ex-husband was a very dutiful son, which made me feel that once I become part of his family, I will also be loved like this but unfortunately I never got my rights and my son lives like an orphan though his father is alive, he didn't even came to give adhaan when the baby was born, all owing to his love and obedience for his parents, siblings and other family members.
He divorced me 3 months back it seems and I got the information just this week. He didn't even bothered to inform me about it.
I am sorry, I just wanted to bring your focus on how the sayings of the world are imperfect.
Regards,
Umme Abdullah
May Allah ease your difficulties and give you the strength to carry on from this moment in your life as you have never before, Ameen.
Asalamu alikum sister,
Please educate yourself and your mom about shirk and consulting spiritual people and waiting for stars to tell you if this person is good or not.....only Allah know.
The link below is a good explanation:
http://islamqa.info/en/22445
This is a major problem my sister, do not go to any of these people, because only Allah knows what us good for us, so you pray, make dua and pray iistikhara. That's it.
Judge the man on his islamic character, how he treats his family, how he talks to you, what his future plans are...I know it's hard to tell from far...but pray iistikhara I would says the number one thing to do. If you are at peace with him after the prayer, take it as a good sign.
Hope everything goes well, and May Allah bless your future marriage!
Sister are you Muslim! because it's my understanding that the practice of matching stars for marriage is popular among Hindus/ Hinduism!!!