Prayer for a lost love
Salaams everyone. I am in my late 30's. I prayed for a nice husband for many years. I am a working professional and I have tried to live a good life. I never had much success with traditional "proposals". About a year ago I met a wonderful man who had a muslim background but he himself was not muslim. We fell in love. I truly believe he was a miracle in my life. Unfortunately, instead of trying to slowly bring him to Islam, I abruptly told him to convert otherwise it was over. He was very hurt and we separated without trying to bridge our differences.
Over the following 2-3 months, i realized how much i loved this man and how precious he was to me. He had always treated me very kindly and respected me for being a muslim. I knew he loved me. So, I contacted him again. Unfortunately, he had moved on and was now with a new woman. Needless to say, I was devastated, and I remain devastated.
After all these years, I am almost 40, I found someone to love and who loved me in return, and I lost him! It has been a month since we last spoke. I have prayed and prayed to Allah SWT that He return him to me, that He plants the seed of doubt in his mind and he wishes to return to me.
I wake up for tahajjud, read sura yasin, daroodsharif, etc. I now realize that I must move on, otherwise I won't heal from this emotional turmoil. But even moving on is difficult. I have prayed and prayed to Allah SWT that he remove the love from my heart so I can forget about him. Yet, remain I wounded and emotionally stuck. Today, I said this to myself: that Allah SWT will bring this man when and if the time is right. When and if the time is right, this man will ponder over the good that was between us and will consider what I can bring to his life.
I am a nice, honest, caring woman, with a beautiful heart; my beloved knew that. If Allah SWT wills it, then this man will ponder over this, and when and if that happens, Allah will bring us together Insha'Allah. When and if Allah SWT brings us together, it will be for the best. If Allah SWT does not bring us together, then it will also be for the best.
Do you think this is a good attitude and a good prayer?
I know a lot of women post on here about their desperate love affairs. I am not a young woman. I am 39; I've lived life a little, and love has come to me late in life, in a very beautiful form, but in a way that did not have a positive outcome.
Please, respond to me kindly! I spent many years focused on my career and on my parents, and missed out on the opportunity to be loved and to have a family of my own. I am heartbroken but I am searching for a way to heal, with Allah's help.
- Precious Star