Pregnant and alone
Asalamu alaikum
After my last post i had decided to leave my husband the first chance i got. But i found out Im almost 5 months pregnant.
He is visiting his family and im at my parents now in another state. My parents visa has expired and they need to go back to the home country for a year. I hate to have to beg that man to take me back. He ruined my life.
I am having a high risk pregnancy which means i cannot work much. I had to move and change jobs so many times because of my husband that i dont have enough hours to qualify for maternity leave. Not to mention the debt he had me accumulate.I have been looking for work nevertheless but to no avail. Even i tried minimum wage jobs which would not earn me enough to last till i can work again after the baby is born.
Now he is having fun with his family and i am left to worry and suffer. He forced me into pregnancy and added to my misery. i did not want children with him because the innocent will suffer. He says he cares about the baby but not me. He may provide for childs needs but not for mine. And im afraid he can take the baby from me by proving that i cannot adequately support it.
I am having a difficult pregnancy as well dealing with severe depression. Before i was suicidal but thats not an option now i cant murder whats inside me.
I am praying daily reading Quran daily doing Istighfar and everything thats supposed to lighten my heart but its not. To the point that when i cant take it anymore i pray to Allah that i dont want jannah because i cant take this suffering. i have come from unstable family since childhood and i have had enough. I dont know what to do. Every ounce of my strength is gone.
awaitingdeath
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Salam,
I dont know which country you are from, but perhaps you can ask for government support until you can work again?? There are lots of centers available that helps women that are going through a hard time. I suggestion you try googling this and see what you can find in your area
most countries have a welfare program,can u apply for try that. in canada ucan get 1200 monthly plus whenbaby born upto a 1000 child benefit. plus there is housing geared to income. i wud also call employment insurance to c if u qualify for mat leavebecause they have work arounds
Aslamu alikum,
I am so sorry you are going through this my dear, its a lot of stress to deal with a break up, pregnancy, parents leaving and depression- its really is a too much. I wish i can send virtual hugs your way.
But have no fear hun, because Allah is the most gracious and most merciful and he is the one and only provider.
I can give all kinds of advice, but its Allah who at the end of the day decided about our health, home, and everything in our lives. So trust him, make lots and lots of dua, and ask for help from him.
On top of that, you are pretty obviously pregnant- which means no one is going to hire you. So get the money from the ex husband. Thats the only way. On top of that, if he is not giving you enough, do go to local mosques and food banks and ask for help if you are struggling financially.
and you asked what you can do- really sometimes you just need to have a good cry. Cry and cry to your creator. In sujood is great place to do so- and just let it go. Dont hold back your tears.
All you can do is move on and be a good parent to this child. Set up the area for the baby, make sure you have enough money to live, find a support network for when the baby comes (friends, family, mosque, etc), stay healthy, and just keep going.. dont stop and dont give up hope and be the best mama you can be.
Sending many hugs your way, may Allah give you strenght to carry on and make it easy for you.
Contiuously read RABBI ANNI MAGHLOOBAN FA ANTASIR, READ SOORAT JUMAA 3 TIMES FOR 3 REGULARLY FRIDAYS . U CAN READ SAID SOORAT IN REGULAR DAYS ALSO. i BET U YOUR HUSBAND WILL TURN BACK ASAP GOD WILLING. I PRAY FOR U ALSO IN SAJDA FOR U. INSHALLAY GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U ALONE.. BELIEVE U ME . BUUT PROMISE ME AND GOD U WILL DO WHAT I SAID.
AR
Jazak Allah khayr, brother. However, it's best not to tell people "your husband will come back" or whatever. We cannot see the future. Allah is the One who knows what is best for people in their future. Every dua' is answered, but not always in the way we expect.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I understand that we cannot give personal advice on this website however after having been receiving emails with various stories for over a year or more, I would like to be the first, and if not the first then yet another person to suggest that possibly zawaj.com create some sort of a resource database not anything too complicated or detailed but just to mediate phone numbers and resources countrywide and statewide to help these poor women get on the right track to finding assistance there are various forms of trying to get out of a bad situation I was in physical or sexual abuse thoughts of suicide Financial issues low income issues and possibly even a resource to answer questions about various standards you need to meet to legally marry and divorce a spouse in different countries. I know that it's a lot to ask and it would be a project that would probably take quite some time to put together but I think with the right amount of determination and good intention it could be done comprehensively enough to help some of our sisters at least find a starting point to get some of these resources and carve a path toward success rather than despair.
Things I would suggest would be possibly suicide hotline's phone numbers to different government institutions with links that specify standards for divorce or marriage, to websites supported and endorsed by different government agencies that deal with social science issues such as abuse and neglect child-abuse rape physical abuse and the like.
Please excuse the poor punctuation of this message and any possible spelling errors as I am using a voice to text feature on my iPhone. Take care and I wish you all the best
Salaams,
It's a very good idea. I think we've discussed something like this before, but it's never come into fruition. In shaa Allah we will take a closer look at implementing that.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hi I see my male cousin in my dreams alot what does it means
Probably that you think about him a lot, nothing more.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor