Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Questions about love, sex and pornography

treating pornography addiciton 150x150 %photo

Books like this one may help people to deal with the problem of pornography addiction. Counseling is also an option.

QUESTIONS

Salaam
Please answer these questions and provide evidence (Qur'an and Hadith):

1)Is Love Marriage Acceptable in Islam? if not give me the reason why based on hadith or any verse from the holly Quran

2)Can married couples watch cartoon or animated porn while having sex?

3) Is viewing animal sexual acts allowed in islam?

4) Why is porn not allowed in islam? Give me the definate reason and hadith or any verse from holly Quran which directly gives the evidence behind the reason.

5) How sinful is watching real human porn and cartoon or animated porn? I want to know the answer based on hadith or any verse from Holly Quran.

6)Why is viewing cartoon or animated sexual act not allowed in islam?
By viewing cartoon or animated sexual act I am not disturbing the pravicy of any real person so why viewing cartoon or animated sexual act is not allowed in islam? give me definite reason and hadith or any verse from quran which supports the reason.

7) What is the highest punishment for watching porns?

8) Does Islam allow to use sex toyes and lubricants in sexual intercourse?

-Monirul

SARA'S ANSWER

Assalaamu alaikum at the present moment I am not able to answer each question individually but I found this article which may be useful to you InshaAllah and may even answer some of your questions. Otherwise I will try to get to your question:

This article has been reviewed by resident MM Psychologist Haleh Banani; she has written up a follow-up article to this post, which will be posted soon after Ramadan inshallah.

This article WILL help you KILL porn addiction or at least start on the road to recovery inshallah.

ARTICLE HIGHLIGHTS

Physiology of porn addiction & why it’s so hard to quit
Porn addicts: you are not losers & you CAN quit
The Ramadan connection
Simple changes towards a new life

The other day on the MM Facebook page, I had posted a question- “what is one bad habit you’d like to kill this Ramadan?” Surprisingly, one brother openly wrote about his desire to stop watching porn. Think about it. What great desperation would make a person openly talk about this habit? In fact, this is a brave brother, who has recognized his battle, and who is literally begging for a cure, a change. He is afraid, scared of going through Ramadan, through fasts, afraid that he will not be able to ward off the urge to flip on an internet porn site, or a DVD to watch some porn.

Some of you may be thinking, “Astaghfirullah, how can someone even think of doing this in Ramadan?“. Stop. First say Alhamdulillah, and thank Allah that He, Al-Rahman, has protected you from this great fitnah. Next pray to Allah that He keeps you away from the dark forces of sexual addictions of all types, from porn to zina, naudhubillah.

Some of you may remember that I addressed the dangers of porn addiction in a post nearly four years ago called Pornography Addiction Among Muslims. Not only did this article touch a strong nerve in our community, but it has since become the 3rd most viewed post on MuslimMatters. And, every few months, it still goes viral. Why? Not because the post is some masterful gem written by a world expert; rather, the post was merely a collection of true stories of people afflicted. With the availability and accessibility of internet spreading like wildfire, I reckon the problem has only gotten worse.

Effects of Porn

Although destructive in many ways, the deteriorating impact porn addiction has on intimacy between spouses, tops the list. There is developing research that “pornography was progressively desensitizing these men sexually… that they quickly required higher levels of stimulation to achieve the same level of arousal”. The sad reality is that your wife/husband becomes progressively insufficient to satisfy your sexual desires.

For those addiction-afflicted as well as those who aren’t, take heed of the dangers of porn addiction. Like alcohol and drug addiction, porn addiction cannot simply be shut off. Rather, one must undergo a rigorous process requiring time and effort, and this process cannot start unless one understands why this addiction is so strong. Porn addiction is one sub-category of sexual addictions, likely the lightest in terms of haram- but equally destructive and almost certainly leading to worse if not nipped in the bud. That is why Allah has instructed us to not even “approach zina” [Quran 17.32], because with porn as an entry-way, it becomes almost impossible to stop one’s path to zina.

Why is it an Addiction?

Research has shown that porn addiction is a “chemical addiction“, having an effect on the brain that is very similar to drugs. It has even been called the new crack cocaine in this Wired article. Mary Anne Layden, co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Cognitive Therapy, calls porn the “most concerning thing to psychological health that I know of existing today.”

First let’s see how drugs work so we may see how analogous it is to porn addiction. The National Institute of Drug Abuse reports: “Most drugs of abuse directly or indirectly target the brain’s reward system by flooding the circuit with dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter present in regions of the brain that regulate movement, emotion, cognition, motivation, and feelings of pleasure. The overstimulation of this system, which rewards our natural behaviors, produces the euphoric effects sought by people who abuse drugs and teaches them to repeat the behavior.”

Porn addiction works similarly: “During the sexual process, the brain begins narrowing its focus as it releases a tidal wave of endorphins and other neurochemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin and serotonin. These “natural drugs” produce a tremendous rush or high. When these chemicals are released during healthy marital intimacy we refer to them as “the fabulous four” because of the myriad positive benefits they generate between a husband and wife. When they are released during pornography use and other sexual addiction behaviors, we call them “the fearsome four” due to the severe addiction and many negative consequences they produce in the brain and nervous system.” [Read more in this informative article]

Overcoming Addiction

We know that drug addicts can get over their addiction. We know that alcoholics have been able to do the same.

So, if you are a porn addict, know this:

(1) you are not alone
(2) you are not a loser or an evil person
(3) you CAN kick this habit but only with a huge amount of jihad’l-nafs (the struggle of the soul).

This psychologist-backed site will further help you understand your addiction–the first step in this journey of killing it. I have not done an extensive review of the site, so “buyer beware”. Please keep your Muslim hat on, and, like all information, screen it through a simple Islamic filter.

For spouses, family, friends, and supporters, know that:

(1) It is important that you “recognize” the addiction and become partners towards a cure rather than continually debasing and disparaging the addict. Debasement only makes the addict feel worse and increases the desire to seek pleasure from endorphins through porn.

(2) Porn addiction is destructive not only for the addict, but also for the spouse. As we saw in my previous post on porn addiction, it has the ability to destroy marriages. That is why it is not to be taken lightly. I urge spouses of addicts to please also be a “partner in solution” rather than a police officer. You cannot hammer the addiction out of your spouse. Learn about its physiological and psychological aspects, and HELP in the recovery. If you love your spouse, you will give it your very best shot.

The Ramadan Connection

The psychologist linked above, Joe Zychik, mentions two requirements for overcoming sexual addictions– effective motivation and a reliable method.

Ramadan is a time where we are instructed to fast. Fasting has been described by the Prophet (salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) as one of the ways to control sexual desire:

Abdullah (b. Mas’ud) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to us: “O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford it should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.”

During regular days, it may be tough to observe this instruction, but Ramadan is a month where you are surrounded with “effective motivation” to fast. The last thing you want to do is go through the motions of fasting yet breaking it by engaging in your addiction. Use this opportunity to make some strong moves towards a “reliable method“.

Partner Up

Connect with a close friend, family member, or spouse–someone you can trust. Let’s call this person your “partner”. Have your partner install a strong porn filter/activity monitor on your computer. Let him/her control the password and make this partner promise that they will not give it to you regardless of how much you ask for it. If it helps, make them swear by Allah. In some cultures, putting your hand on the Quran reinforces this promise.

Make Structural Changes

Replace your SmartPhone- If you watch porn on your phone, get rid of it! Replace it with a non-internet-capable “cheap mobile”. Either you can have a nice toy or you can save yourself from porn.

Change your computer- If you watch it on your laptop, consider buying a desktop instead that stays in an open area where you wouldn’t want to be caught watching porn.

Turn off your TV- if u have any porn videos or DVDs, destroy them now, before you lose your spirit.

Reliable Methods

Self-Talk- Talk to yourself and your partner about your addiction. Consider this: If you are able to control yourself during fasting, why can’t you control yourself during the nights of Ramadan, nights that are the holiest nights of the entire year? And if you are able to control yourself for the entire Ramadan, is the Allah of Ramadan not the same Allah of the rest of the months, Who watches your every move?

Make constant dua- Ask Him, Al-Tawwab, to pardon your sins, and grant you barakah in your efforts and time to help you overcome this trial. Recognize that you are in this trial only by the will of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), and by His will and mercy, He will lift you from this trial after you rise from it, a stronger believer. Use the nights of this most blessed months, and the moments before you break your fast to humbly ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) for help.

Moisten your tongue with duas such as this one:
اللهم اني ظلمت نفسي ظلما كثيرا ولا يغفر الذنوب الا انت فاغفرلي مغفرة من عندك, وارحمني انك انت الغفور الرحيم

‘Alla-humma innee thalamtu nafsee thulman kathee-ra wala yaghfiru thunouba ila anta, faghfirlee maghfiratan min ‘indika, warr hamnee innaka antal Ghafoor-ur Raheem.’
[O Allah! I have wronged myself very much, and none can forgive sins, except You only. Grant me forgiveness, and have mercy upon me; indeed You are the Most Forgiving, Ever Merciful.] (Bukhari) (for in-detail translation)

Read Self Help Books- Beyond the self-talk, you need to continue the journey on a “reliable method”. Your best bet is to get books on breaking sex addiction. Do it NOW before you lose your motivation to read them! It is more important for you to read these books in Ramadan than to spend time on entertaining guests or even tarawih (stopping haram is more important than an optional, mustahab).

Get Counseling- If you have access and ability to engage with a psychologist, this is the time to put that in motion. Call one and set up an appointment. Make sure this psychologist is a specialist in the area of addictions, especially sex addiction.

In other words, start doing whatever it takes during these Ramadan days of high spiritual motivation to set into motion something that will keep you porn free in the LONG RUN, as opposed to perhaps controlling it only in Ramadan.

Note: This article does not rely or recommend “coaches”. Maybe in a year, when we have testimonials from people who have been cured–and stay cured–with such coaching services, I’d be glad to advertise their services. For now, please don’t post any such services provided, because this would be just advertisement that I do not, in good faith, agree with or can recommend. This is my own opinion, not MM’s.
Taken from http://muslimmatters.org/2011/08/15/ramadan-time-to-kick-porn-addiction-out-of-your-system/


Tagged as: , , , , ,

30 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    Sara thank you for that helpful article. I would like to just make a few comments, if I may.

    You asked if love marriage is acceptable in Islam. I am not sure what you mean by love marriage, as far as it being distinguished from any other marriage. I don't think anyone would tell a Muslim married couple that they should NOT love each other, so the very idea of a "love" marriage being haram seems ludicrous. In Islam, EVERYTHING is halaal unless it has been named as haram.

    Regarding pornography being haraam. Pornography involves nudity. Here are the hadith you requested about seeing the nudity of others. Notice that they do not differentiate or specify that the nudity has to be live. Nudity is nudity. Period.

    -No man or woman should look at the naked body of each other (unless married). Sahih Muslim

    -By God, I would prefer to be thrown from the skies and spattered in parts than to look at someone's private parts or let someone look at my private parts. Narrated by Salman. Almabsooth kitabul istehsan.

    Don't expose your thigh to anyone and don't look at the thigh of any person even if s/he is dead. Narrated Ali ibn abi Talib. Ibn e Maja, Abi Dawud, Darqutani. Tafseer Kabeer

    Once someone's thigh was open in public. The Prophet said don't you know thigh is supposed to be kept covered? Jerhad Aslami. Muatta Imam Malik, Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud

    Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it. Abu Hurairah. Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud.

    If you try to argue that cartoon pornography is not as offensive or haram, consider this: Ibn ``Abbâs relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Every image maker is in
    the Fire. For each image he made, a being will be fashioned to torment him in Hell.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2225) and Sahîh Muslim (2110) – The wording accords with al-Bukhârî]
    Scholars agree that this refers to two-dimensional images (drawings, which would include cartoons) as well as three dimensional (sculptures etc).

    It really sounds as if you are trying to find a way to justify a sin Astagfirrullah. It would be better to admit these are wrongs against the self, others, and Allah and work on submitting to what is Halal.

    Regarding sexual toys etc you can review this link for a detailed response by one mufti: http://www.islam.tc/cgi-bin/askimam/ask.pl?q=11213&act=view

    and an alternate position based on fatwa here: http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=showfatwa&Option=FatwaId&Id=87620

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Assalaamu alaikum at the present moment I am not able to answer each question individually but I found this article which may be useful to you InshaAllah and may even answer some of your questions. Otherwise I will try to get to your question:

    This article has been reviewed by resident MM Psychologist Haleh Banani; she has written up a follow-up article to this post, which will be posted soon after Ramadan inshallah.

    This article WILL help you KILL porn addiction or at least start on the road to recovery inshallah.

    ARTICLE HIGHLIGHTS

    Physiology of porn addiction & why it’s so hard to quit
    Porn addicts: you are not losers & you CAN quit
    The Ramadan connection
    Simple changes towards a new life

    The other day on the MM Facebook page, I had posted a question- “what is one bad habit you’d like to kill this Ramadan?” Surprisingly, one brother openly wrote about his desire to stop watching porn. Think about it. What great desperation would make a person openly talk about this habit? In fact, this is a brave brother, who has recognized his battle, and who is literally begging for a cure, a change. He is afraid, scared of going through Ramadan, through fasts, afraid that he will not be able to ward off the urge to flip on an internet porn site, or a DVD to watch some porn.

    Some of you may be thinking, “Astaghfirullah, how can someone even think of doing this in Ramadan?“. Stop. First say Alhamdulillah, and thank Allah that He, Al-Rahman, has protected you from this great fitnah. Next pray to Allah that He keeps you away from the dark forces of sexual addictions of all types, from porn to zina, naudhubillah.

    Some of you may remember that I addressed the dangers of porn addiction in a post nearly four years ago called Pornography Addiction Among Muslims. Not only did this article touch a strong nerve in our community, but it has since become the 3rd most viewed post on MuslimMatters. And, every few months, it still goes viral. Why? Not because the post is some masterful gem written by a world expert; rather, the post was merely a collection of true stories of people afflicted. With the availability and accessibility of internet spreading like wildfire, I reckon the problem has only gotten worse.

    Effects of Porn

    Although destructive in many ways, the deteriorating impact porn addiction has on intimacy between spouses, tops the list. There is developing research that “pornography was progressively desensitizing these men sexually… that they quickly required higher levels of stimulation to achieve the same level of arousal”. The sad reality is that your wife/husband becomes progressively insufficient to satisfy your sexual desires.

    For those addiction-afflicted as well as those who aren’t, take heed of the dangers of porn addiction. Like alcohol and drug addiction, porn addiction cannot simply be shut off. Rather, one must undergo a rigorous process requiring time and effort, and this process cannot start unless one understands why this addiction is so strong. Porn addiction is one sub-category of sexual addictions, likely the lightest in terms of haram- but equally destructive and almost certainly leading to worse if not nipped in the bud. That is why Allah has instructed us to not even “approach zina” [Quran 17.32], because with porn as an entry-way, it becomes almost impossible to stop one’s path to zina.

    Why is it an Addiction?

    Research has shown that porn addiction is a “chemical addiction“, having an effect on the brain that is very similar to drugs. It has even been called the new crack cocaine in this Wired article. Mary Anne Layden, co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Cognitive Therapy, calls porn the “most concerning thing to psychological health that I know of existing today.”

    First let’s see how drugs work so we may see how analogous it is to porn addiction. The National Institute of Drug Abuse reports: “Most drugs of abuse directly or indirectly target the brain’s reward system by flooding the circuit with dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter present in regions of the brain that regulate movement, emotion, cognition, motivation, and feelings of pleasure. The overstimulation of this system, which rewards our natural behaviors, produces the euphoric effects sought by people who abuse drugs and teaches them to repeat the behavior.”

    Porn addiction works similarly: “During the sexual process, the brain begins narrowing its focus as it releases a tidal wave of endorphins and other neurochemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin and serotonin. These “natural drugs” produce a tremendous rush or high. When these chemicals are released during healthy marital intimacy we refer to them as “the fabulous four” because of the myriad positive benefits they generate between a husband and wife. When they are released during pornography use and other sexual addiction behaviors, we call them “the fearsome four” due to the severe addiction and many negative consequences they produce in the brain and nervous system.” [Read more in this informative article]

    Overcoming Addiction

    We know that drug addicts can get over their addiction. We know that alcoholics have been able to do the same.

    So, if you are a porn addict, know this:

    (1) you are not alone
    (2) you are not a loser or an evil person
    (3) you CAN kick this habit but only with a huge amount of jihad’l-nafs (the struggle of the soul).

    This psychologist-backed site will further help you understand your addiction–the first step in this journey of killing it. I have not done an extensive review of the site, so “buyer beware”. Please keep your Muslim hat on, and, like all information, screen it through a simple Islamic filter.

    For spouses, family, friends, and supporters, know that:

    (1) It is important that you “recognize” the addiction and become partners towards a cure rather than continually debasing and disparaging the addict. Debasement only makes the addict feel worse and increases the desire to seek pleasure from endorphins through porn.

    (2) Porn addiction is destructive not only for the addict, but also for the spouse. As we saw in my previous post on porn addiction, it has the ability to destroy marriages. That is why it is not to be taken lightly. I urge spouses of addicts to please also be a “partner in solution” rather than a police officer. You cannot hammer the addiction out of your spouse. Learn about its physiological and psychological aspects, and HELP in the recovery. If you love your spouse, you will give it your very best shot.

    The Ramadan Connection

    The psychologist linked above, Joe Zychik, mentions two requirements for overcoming sexual addictions– effective motivation and a reliable method.

    Ramadan is a time where we are instructed to fast. Fasting has been described by the Prophet (salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) as one of the ways to control sexual desire:

    Abdullah (b. Mas’ud) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to us: “O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford it should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.”

    During regular days, it may be tough to observe this instruction, but Ramadan is a month where you are surrounded with “effective motivation” to fast. The last thing you want to do is go through the motions of fasting yet breaking it by engaging in your addiction. Use this opportunity to make some strong moves towards a “reliable method“.

    Partner Up

    Connect with a close friend, family member, or spouse–someone you can trust. Let’s call this person your “partner”. Have your partner install a strong porn filter/activity monitor on your computer. Let him/her control the password and make this partner promise that they will not give it to you regardless of how much you ask for it. If it helps, make them swear by Allah. In some cultures, putting your hand on the Quran reinforces this promise.

    Make Structural Changes

    Replace your SmartPhone- If you watch porn on your phone, get rid of it! Replace it with a non-internet-capable “cheap mobile”. Either you can have a nice toy or you can save yourself from porn.

    Change your computer- If you watch it on your laptop, consider buying a desktop instead that stays in an open area where you wouldn’t want to be caught watching porn.

    Turn off your TV- if u have any porn videos or DVDs, destroy them now, before you lose your spirit.

    Reliable Methods

    Self-Talk- Talk to yourself and your partner about your addiction. Consider this: If you are able to control yourself during fasting, why can’t you control yourself during the nights of Ramadan, nights that are the holiest nights of the entire year? And if you are able to control yourself for the entire Ramadan, is the Allah of Ramadan not the same Allah of the rest of the months, Who watches your every move?

    Make constant dua- Ask Him, Al-Tawwab, to pardon your sins, and grant you barakah in your efforts and time to help you overcome this trial. Recognize that you are in this trial only by the will of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), and by His will and mercy, He will lift you from this trial after you rise from it, a stronger believer. Use the nights of this most blessed months, and the moments before you break your fast to humbly ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) for help.

    Moisten your tongue with duas such as this one:
    اللهم اني ظلمت نفسي ظلما كثيرا ولا يغفر الذنوب الا انت فاغفرلي مغفرة من عندك, وارحمني انك انت الغفور الرحيم

    ‘Alla-humma innee thalamtu nafsee thulman kathee-ra wala yaghfiru thunouba ila anta, faghfirlee maghfiratan min ‘indika, warr hamnee innaka antal Ghafoor-ur Raheem.’
    [O Allah! I have wronged myself very much, and none can forgive sins, except You only. Grant me forgiveness, and have mercy upon me; indeed You are the Most Forgiving, Ever Merciful.] (Bukhari) (for in-detail translation)

    Read Self Help Books- Beyond the self-talk, you need to continue the journey on a “reliable method”. Your best bet is to get books on breaking sex addiction. Do it NOW before you lose your motivation to read them! It is more important for you to read these books in Ramadan than to spend time on entertaining guests or even tarawih (stopping haram is more important than an optional, mustahab).

    Get Counseling- If you have access and ability to engage with a psychologist, this is the time to put that in motion. Call one and set up an appointment. Make sure this psychologist is a specialist in the area of addictions, especially sex addiction.

    In other words, start doing whatever it takes during these Ramadan days of high spiritual motivation to set into motion something that will keep you porn free in the LONG RUN, as opposed to perhaps controlling it only in Ramadan.

    Note: This article does not rely or recommend “coaches”. Maybe in a year, when we have testimonials from people who have been cured–and stay cured–with such coaching services, I’d be glad to advertise their services. For now, please don’t post any such services provided, because this would be just advertisement that I do not, in good faith, agree with or can recommend. This is my own opinion, not MM’s.
    Taken from http://muslimmatters.org/2011/08/15/ramadan-time-to-kick-porn-addiction-out-of-your-system/

  3. Excellent answers by Amy and Sara, thank you. Comprehensive and well researched.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. asslm alkm

    i have good faith but i can keep perfectly even ramadan time also especially thoughts about lusture ,intersting to sex films night time last moment i traped such way , i do not why i am thinking to get marry asap . pls help me i do namaz 5 times very well since 4 years without delay pls help how to overcome this problem i badly need u r help

  5. Stop watching porn!!! Everything bad happens because of porn and the women on the streets.

  6. I used to watch porn myself..but now i have stopped alhamdulllah!ramadan is the best time to achieve this but i'd suggest if you fear Allah you can do it anytime...Think suppose your mom or dad or siblings were arround you..you wouldnt dare watch porn..cos you will feel shy and embarassed and how your image front of them will fall once they find out...why dont you think the same with Allah??? Dont you feel shy from Allah??? Isnt he watching us ALL THE TIME??? would you want Allah to see you while you are doing such a bad act??commiting such a dirty sacrosanct act?? and by doing this you are clearly disobeying Allah..If you are a believer and have faith and believe that for us Allah has promised the ultimate reward of JAnnah..you will inshALLAH leave porn and all thats haram..Ask Allah for Help and Guidance and ASk fro Forgiveness cos Allah is the best of Helpers and the most Forgiving! and Allah knows Best.salam.

    • "I used to watch porn myself"

      dear bro, do you know that you are disclosing a sin of yours which Allaah has concealed from people.

      please dont do that.

      the prophet[saww] said the worst of people in the sight of Allaah are those whom when he concealed their sins by night, they disclose it be day.

      in muslims collection.

      give all the tips you have, but please dont mention any sins/shortcomings you had.

      jazakallaah

      • Abu Az-Zubayr I understand your point but I think there is value in knowing that the brother had the same problem, and beat it. It makes his advice more meaningful. Since this website is essentially anonymous and we don't know who anyone is, and since he is disclosing his past problem not to boast but to inform, I think it's alright.

        It's like people who go to an AA meeting and share how alcoholism affected them and ruined their lives. They are not doing it to show off. They are doing it to help others, to show that they've been there and they understand.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. May Allah the most forgiving the most merciful the most compassionate forgive us the sins we conceal and reveal..brother Abu Zubair you have a valid point there may Allah forgive me for what i am doing..But Allah knows best that my intention was for the greater good..because i want people to know its not at all impossible..if Allah helps you!Because Allah is the best of helpers!

    So Alhamdulillah i just want to say this ramadan i had a major change i used to commit alot of sins in various aspects..but Alhamdulillah finally i begged Allah for forgiveness and begged him to guide me and shoe me the right path..and Alhamdulillah Allah never refuses the one who repents truely..and Alhamdulillah Allah has granted me tawfeeq now.,.now i have started memorizing Surah Baqarah with the translation and praying regularly..d i feel so much more peace at heart!!

    so i plead all my muslim brothers and sisters try just give it a try..try and become sincere to Allah...Obey what Allay has ordained..And Adore him truly..And InshAllah Allah is the grantor of Succes! So Basically all i will say is its difficult to leave something bad in the beginning..but InshAllah give it a try and Allah will surely help you if you truly belive and are sincere! :) Salam brothers sorry if i said anything that isnt right..May Allah forgive me and Allah knows best..Barak'Allah hu fi!

  8. Salaam.

    I got a really confusing question.

    (Remainder of question deleted by Editor. )

    • Sister,

      Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. This time remembering to be humble and minus the offensive remarks.

      Thank You,

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Thanks alot i got my answer. Whoever deleted my message is stone hearted person. I wanted answer and u children of Adam directed me to doctors. My doctor is my Allah. No wonder Baba Adam is still crying. U would never understand. May Allah make u understand insha Allah!

      • '1986'

        I deleted your question and I also gave you the reason why; that you must log in and submit it as a separate post. There are over 100 people patiently awaiting their turn, they are not trying to jump the queue. That is only fair. Is that still stone hearted of me?

        Patience dear...patience.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  9. Salam

    I wanna tell something 2 the author of this post brothers n sisters have done a good job of tell u about porngraphy with refrence 2 hadith

    Author of this post"plz dont make a mockery of a true religion of allah " after knowing all these

  10. @1989

    u r wrong in generalising the entire/majority muslim asian men , i dnt knw for what reason
    n accept that ur wrong

    u have no right to label , all the muslim men , with ur misconception as all r alike

    surely not all r not saint but all r not evil either

  11. Mr Al Bahjah .. Why are u making fuss about it. I was writing it for those men who has no self control. U seem to be a good person-standing up for the communities but stand up to the truth is better for u. I know some things has offended someone otherwise my message wouldnt be deleted.

    • Why are u making fuss about it. I was writing it for those men who has no self control.------>if u had not mention the entire asian men , im asian too n muslim as wel

      . U seem to be a good person-standing up for the communities but stand up to the truth is better for u------------> im not racist nor consider skin color as a major factor , but if other do i cannot help that

      things has offended someone otherwise my message wouldnt be deleted.------> yes i was offended by it , but i didint deleted ur msg

  12. e.g from 10 people 8 people wore white clothes and 2 people wore black clothes so the 8 people were the majority from the 10 people so there is a difference between whole and majority.--------> no i was telling that do u thinnk majority asian muslims treat black people as inferiror

    U tell me how many asian muslim men u know or heard that got married to black christian woman or even when u go to town centre-how many asian muslim u saw was with a black christian female-------------->islam is against unjust let it based on caste , race colour , nationatlity

    if i follow ur logic then the muslims in somalia , sudan , eyhiopia n other african countries , should be discrimintaed , no coz islam doesnt allow this
    discrimination based on color is done by "whites" asian on the other hand r not white "ull se all varities of people in asian

    1>people in north asia - may be white
    2>central asia may be upale/yellowish
    3>southeast asia may be brown or dark skin

    racism based on color is not started by asian but by white(english/british) , n islam is against any kind of discrimination

    if there r some muslims that consider , blacks or other races inferior , i m sorry for them as they r not following the order of allah ,
    but u cant judge , or tagged as the entire(majority) asian muslim r rascist

    if once u did then for definately i will go and see the doctor and assume myself as mental.- LOOK IM SORRY FOR THE COMMENT WHICH I MADE EARLIER

    • Look all i wanted to do is give my message only to those i am talking about. Im sorry O'dear brother that it offended u. I would like to explain to u abit further but hope i dont offend u again or anyone and if i do then please forgive me.
      All i wanted to say is that in my 20years in life never saw a single asian married to a black girl or even got black girlfriend-i am not racist towards white girls (i have got a white friend and we been friend since kids but try to understand from my point of view. Only once i saw a muslim asian man with a black girl holding hands even though its a sin. She had a child who was black as well not half cast an i was please to see that beauty is not judge by the colouir. Asian men get more attracted to white girl coz they have no sense of covering up. As far as i know Mother Maryiam was from Jews family and birth to Isa A.S (Christianity faith) so thats why Allah has permitted u to marry from Th People Of The Book but today generation white girls forgot how and what Mother Maryiam did to become precious in the sight of Allah. U tell me brother have u ever seen a white girl cover up decently. I dont mean to say that wear hijab coz it was ordained to us muslim women not to the non muslim women. They do not know how to cover up then our muslim brother get attracted to them - break all the boundries and limit and then get married to whom the parents decide. And when they do they treat muslim woman like a slave especially when shes from back homeland and a white girls like pearl. If they really doing good then why are they not attracted to black girls they are also christian or even marry a somalian they are also muslim. Its just men fulfilling their desire and setting an example to others.

      • 1986,

        You really are talking a load of nonsense. You said:

        1) 'Only once i saw a muslim asian man with a black girl holding hands even though its a sin.'
        - How do you know they were not married?

        2) .'..but today generation white girls forgot how and what Mother Maryiam did to become precious in the sight of Allah.'
        - What did Mariam(ra) do to become precious in the sight of Allah? She(ra) was loved by Allah and she was a chaste and special woman.

        3) 'U tell me brother have u ever seen a white girl cover up decently.'
        - Yes, I have.

        There are lots of decent people in the world, including white people and non muslim people too. Alhumdulillah, they are our brothers and sisters in humanity and will also come to Islam inshaAllah. So '1986' - seriously, quit the silly debating and get over the 'white girl' hang up. Anymore of this nonsense and your comments will be deleted.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Dear sisterZ
          If u say so ... But remember that Mother Maryiam kept herself from evil and what do girls now do. Mother Maryiam did not let a man near her but now a days one night stand watching porns movie is quite common NO its a fashion! I wont send any comments coz i wash my hands off your website but my Allah will surely bring this topic up on the day of Judgement then only Allah can decide who is talking rubbish. Just make sure u and everyone who didnt understand me remember me when this judgement takes places by Allah wills. InshaAllah i would be smiling just like the way when u reply back to the last message.

          • 1986,

            I do understand what you are trying to say. But the attitude with which you are writing your comments are becoming kinda crazy. Just chill out and write your comments with some sweetness, then perhaps they'll make more sense.

            InshaAllah you will be smiling on the Day of Judgement with shining white miswak brushed teeth. And inshaAllah, we will all be there smiling with you, aameen

            If you cannot log in, email Br Wael, inshaAllah he'll sort it out.

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  13. Sisterz i guess u must be a mod or something but do u hav a authority of banning coz there is an id "razak chutya muslim"
    He made some offending remark

    His comment is in trash u can check "but in hindi"
    Anyways his id is also offending

    So i req 2 take action againt him

  14. Al-bahjah and 1986, let's move on please. This debate is unrelated to the original post on this page. Jazakum Allah khayr.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor