Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Questions about sex in marriage

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Wedding night bed

As Salam Walakum,

i would like to Clarify few Point with you as per Islams Pont of View.

1. Is oral sex allowed in Islam between husband and wife?
2. Is anal sex allowed if the wife gives permission?
3. Can a married couple have sex in other rooms of the house, for example in the bath?
4. Can wife remove husband personal hair & husband can remove wife's personal hair?
5. During which days sex must not be done?

please urgent & erliest reply in this matter is highly appreciated in concern to this matter.

plesase reply me in view of islam

- wanna


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33 Responses »

  1. Assalamu alaikum - I will try my best to give you direct answers, as these are quite straightforward - however we are not scholars so we do not deal with fiqh issues. May Allah forgive me if I have said anything incorrect.

    1) There is a difference in opinion on the permissibility of oral sex between spouses. I recommend you read this link for more information: http://www.zawaj.com/straight_talk.html

    2) Anal sex is prohibited (haraam) - again see the link above. Anyone who has done this unknowingly should make tawbah and refrain from repeating it.

    "The one who has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi,)"

    3) Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe. (Quran, 2:223)

    I assume as long as the place is clean and private (within your own home) then it is permissible to use other rooms.

    4) Between the waist and the knees is awrah except to the spouse so personal hair can be removed by either yourself or your spouse and vice versa - so yes as far as I know.

    5) Sex is not permissible while menstruating and of course while fasting and on Hajj. Ghusul must be done afterwards to purify one self. You cannot pray or recite Qur'an in the state or Janaabah (impurity after intercourse) As far as I know these are the only days, excluding Hajj of course.


    “Every game a person plays is futile except for archery, training one’s horse and playing with one’s wife (foreplay and kissing) ”

    I hope this answers your questions InshaAllah. Please correct me if there is anything I have missed.

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Sister

      Just to add on sex is not permissible during the post-natal bleeding called nifas ( when the blood that flows out after child birth)

    • Salam,
      Dear brothers and sisters i have a question to all of you:

      Does the Size of your Husband's Penis matter, e.g if it very Skinny but with good length or very very short? And what if they both are VIRGINS at time or marraige?

      If the husband knows that his penis is skinny or thin compared to average and doctors have told him that there is nothing they can do to increase his penis size, how will you react if your muslim husband was a good looking, intelligent and honest man who also prayed 5 times?

      What if You both were not enjoying sex because of his small size and his premature ejaculation?

      Put yourself in their positions and Please give your honest opinions or experiences,,,,

      Thanks

      • ahmed, the kind of insecurities you are expressing are common among men. Most likely you are completely within the range of normal size. Women care about your character as a husband and a man, not about such things.

        If you want more detailed responses, please log in and submit your question as a separate post, thank you.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Ahmed, I noticed that you posted some additional comments and questions about this subject. I deleted them. I already told you, if you want a detailed discussion then submit your question as a separate post. However, I think you have already been given good answers and it should be sufficient Insha'Allah.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Dear Miss Sara,

      Please introduce yourself and then I have some questions to ask?

      Regards,

  2. Assalamu Aleikum,

    -Oral sex, yes

    -Anal sex, no, but depending on school of law, there r Shia and Hanafi scholars who allow it with the permission

    of the wife; but the majority says no

    - You can do it in all areas, I don't think there are any restrictions, but : be careful not to face the qibla

    according to Imam Sadiq we know that the child may become a disbeliever or a hypocrite

    - I think the idea of removing hair for each other is somehow romantic and sweet-- so intimate, of course you can

    Everything that falls into the category of foreplay and mutual pleasure is allowed in Islam, I think on

    this website somebody recommended Sheikh Yasir Quadhi who even promotes sex toys; there are

    Islam companies who sell them and I saw it on his website.

    Allah knows best

  3. Assalam,

    I wasn't gonna reply to this post because sister Sara has already given a great answer, but when I read Jannah's comments, I couldn't help myself.
    I'm not here to judge you but it's been a while now since I read your posts. What amazes me is your interpretation of Islam regarding some of the marital issues. To be perfectly honest, I'm shocked ! I've no idea what school you're following sister but you're really need to be careful. Islam FORBIDS anal sex, and there's no discussion about it ! How can scholars still interpret it differently when the Holy Quran states about it clearly ??!!
    Maybe some of you guys (from Islamicanswers) should help her, advise her...Wa Allahu A"lam.

    Aicha

  4. Salam Sister,

    first of all, don't be emotional as being emotional is a sign of insecurity and you are masha allah a

    confident woman. I have qualified my statement by saying: The Majority in the 4 madhabs say

    No, but in Shiaism there are individuals who says it is allowed with the permission of the wife, and

    I think there are individuals in the Sunni schools who share the same opinion. I'm sure you know

    that we have different sources of jurisprudence in Islam. There are individuals who say that eye-

    brow plucking was prohibited by the prophet or hair extensions and wigs are haram. On the other

    hand, beautification for the husband is a divine law. There are many inconsistencies regarding

    jurisprudence.

    Concerning my statement about the places where you "could" do it, I don't think that there are certain

    rooms in which it is prohibited. And that facing the qibla is not recommended goes back to the prophet

    sallalahu alayhi va ale. Removing pubic hair is Sunnah, and mawadah and rahma are Sunnah,

    and removing hair for each other is fine and romantic, that's my personal opinion.

    I don't know which madhab the sister belongs to. I don't like monopolies, I like diversity. And because

    I like diversity, I have given her an answer that covers all areas of jurisprudence.

    Wasalam

  5. people above as already given the correct answer according to what the Koran said just follow the guide lines and ur request will b given..

  6. i agree with fdkenny on tis. if we are given the guidlines, which are in the holy quran, then following it shouldnt be a problem. i knw there are a lot of schools with different ideas, but hey, tis should not be a subject to personal interpretation.

  7. Salaam.
    is oral sex only makrooh as read in the above link...its in a hadith that seeing private parts is not permissable untill its needed,so how can oral sex be allowed..please reply clearly coz my hubby loves it and we dont do it because its in our knowledge thats it HARAAM...
    please reply.
    Laibah.

    • I hope you haven't been waiting this long, but you just misunderstood the ruling. You cannot look at the privates before marriage because you are not married. But once married you can look all you want when it is needed and that means, anytime you need to have sex, oral sex and/or need to look to please yourselves.

      In other words, have all the oral sex you want.

  8. Aslam O Alaikum!
    Plz mujay yai guied kr dain k agar larki pregnant ho gai hai to kia us k sath sex kia ja sakta hai k nahi.
    i am waiting ur answer.

    Regards
    Umair Ali.

  9. Ali dont u want any body to gain from u? I dont understand what is meant by (a room not facing the qibla) pls can u give more explanation is it that u will build a room separately or you in the room will not face the qibla

  10. I have read that you shouldn't do it in the direction of the Qibla and you shouldn't turn ur back to

    the Qibla. What I overread was that this only applies to the procreation of an offspring. Normal safe sex

    can be anywhere, at anytime, in all directions!! Just wanted to clarify. Islam is of course a perfect faith

    and there are times and hours by which it is recommend to produce a child, who is pious and good-looking

    from nutrition to duas etc. So only if you want an offspring, that night you shouldn't turn your back on the

    Qibla and face the Qibla.

  11. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who has intercourse with his wife in her back passage has disavowed himself of that which was revealed to Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” [Abu Dawood]

    It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not look at a man who has intercourse with a woman in her back passage.” [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi]

    It was narrated that Khuzaymah ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is not too shy to tell the truth” three times. “Do not have intercourse with women in their back passages.” [Ibn Maajah]

    "If anyone [resorts to a diviner and believes in what he says (according) to the version of Musa) or] has intercourse with his wife (according to the agreed version) when she is menstruating, or has intercourse with his wife through her anus, he has nothing to do with what has been sent down to Muhammad."— [Sunan Abu Dawood,]

    "[Make love to your wife] from the front or the back, but avoid the anus and intercourse during menstruation"—[Ahmad and Sunan al-Tirmidhi]

    "He who has intercourse with his wife through her anus is accursed"—[Sunan Abu Dawood]

    No Sunni scholars would ever allow this evil act. Only Shittes

    • i like jannas open mindedness. sorry your last statement was very narrow minded and infact bordering on ignorance.

      some of the posters said the quran forbids it. but failed to provide the surah. if you can that would be great, because you were chastisng jannah on it.

      also all the evidence above is from hadith which itself is open to interpretation and debate among the 5 schools.

      as for shi'as allowing it, as jannah said, some scholars do but its not highly reccomended and others dont.

      i dont seem to understand the frigid pious attitude when it comes to sex with your lawful partner. why so frigid on looking and touching and kissing. is our religion that unaccomodating to the natural urge god has put in us? then why so much emphasis on foreplay in hadiths?

      • i like jannas open mindedness. sorry your last statement was very narrow minded and infact bordering on ignorance

        You like sister's Jannah open mindedness but you hate Abu Dawood, Al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Imam Ahmad and most important of all, The prophet Muhammad (SAW) ??

        You say i'm " Very narrow minded and infact bordering on ignorance " because of the last statement I made. But that statement is made upon analyzing the sunni sahih hadiths and coming to a conclusion that a sunni follow the sahih hadith of sunnis and if he goes against it, then WHAT MAKES HIM A SUNNI ??? and I didn't forbid this anal sex act. THE PROPHET HIMSELF DID !!!

        The hadith is clear, WHY YOU SAY " itself is open to interpretation and debate among the 5 schools.? This is a complete ignorant statement. There are only 4 schools of thought in sunni by the way. If the shia allows it, then they may have a different hadith to prove this disgusting evil act.

        Sunni means the followers who follow the sunnah of the prophet. We are called Ahl sunnah wal jamaat. To follow the prophet we need ahadiths. So basically we have sahih hadiths to follow. According to sahih hadiths narrated by Abu Hurayrah, Ibn Abbass and others, who mentioned that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) FORBID sex through the anus. PERIOD.

        Say: "If ye do love Allah, Follow me: Allah will love you and forgive you your sins: For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [3:31]

        "And whatsoever the Messenger gives you, take it, and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it), and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is Severe in punishment." (59:7)

        "Let those beware who oppose the Messenger’s order! In case some fitnah(trial) should befall them or a painful torment be inflicted upon them." (24:63)

        "Nor does he speak of (his own) desire. It is no less than revelation sent down to him." (53:3-4)

        READ WHAT I WRITE, because I'm not merely posting my opinions unlike some, I post sahih hadiths and then comment on it.

        "Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your own selves beforehand. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad )." [2:223]

        Are you a musafir of Quran ? No one knows the Qur'an more better than the prophet himself. PERIOD.

        So go an read what Tafsir Ibn Khatir has to comment about this verse of the qur'an. Just read it okay.

        Furthuremore, Anus is a place where solid waste material of the body exits. Is it nice to have intercourse that way and then perform oral sex ? Think about it.

        ANAL SEX IN SCIENTIFIC VIEW

        Unprotected anal penetration is a high risk activity, regardless of sexual orientation. Anal sex is a higher risk activity than vaginal intercourse because the thin tissues of the anus and rectum can be easily damaged. Slight injuries can allow the passage of bacteria and viruses, including HIV. This includes by the use of anal toys. Condoms may be more likely to break during anal sex than during vaginal sex, increasing the risk.

        Anal sex is practiced by many heterosexuals, as well as homosexual couples. The anal area has many erotic nerve endings in both men and women. Because of this, many couples (heterosexual or homosexual) can derive pleasure from some form of 'bottom stimulation'. Safety measures are required also when anal sex occurs between heterosexual partners. Apart from the STI transmission risks, other risks such as infection are high regarding anal intercourse. The main risks which individuals are exposed to when performing anal sex are the transmission of HIV, Hepatitis C and A and Escherichia coli and HPV.

        Some researchers suggest that although gay men are more likely to engage in anal sex, heterosexual couples are more likely not to use condoms when doing so. Other researchers state that gay men are not necessarily more likely to engage in anal sex than heterosexual couples.

        Now you may decide, Its all upto you all individuals who wish to practice this evil act. Go ahead and disobey Allah and his messenger and aquire the diseases insha'Allah. Or stay away from it and no harm may fall upon you insha'Allah.

        • Yes you conveyed the message well, But the thing is you shouldn't get to emotional and say inshAllah you should get diseases what will Allah think of you that you are wishing the worst for your fellow brothers and sisters. But you are very much right that it is wrong and harmful, and haram

  12. I know that anal sex is haram but as Muslims are we allowed to use anal sex toys?

  13. Oral sex is allowed or not? I am not sure, isn't semen an impurity, so what if it goes into the mouth and is swallowed? Is that fine? I am wondering.

    • Hamid,

      Ahadeeth indicate that sperm is pure. But there is a difference of opinion about oral sex being allowed or not. Insha Allah, I'll post a Fatwa from a renowned scholar of Ahlus Sunnah shortly.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Jazak allahu khairan, I am a follower of Prophet Muhammad's teachings through Imam Shafi, can u tell what Imam Shafi's ideas were? Jazak allahu khairan

        • I do not know what Imam ash Shafa'i Rahimahullah thought about this. But I read somewhere that he considered it a part of foreplay. Now, I'll mention the Fatwa by Shaikh Mashhoor Hasan Aal Salmaan:

          Question: What is the ruling on oral sex?

          Answer:

          This is a common question from many countries of late, so this brother asks whats the ruling of oral sex? Meaning by this: using his mouth on the private parts of his wife. The answer to this firstly is that I do not know of any evidence which prohibits this however this is an act of dogs. A male dog does this with the bitch when he wants her and the basis for the slave (of Allaah) is that he exalts himself above such things. Allaah has placed desire within creation in order for the type and species to continue and the

          Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) mentioned in the hadeeth Any form of amusement is invalid (baatil) except three: when a man plays with and amuses his wife, when he trains his horse, and when he practices shooting with his arrow. The Prophet said that all forms of amusements are baatil except for these three due to what them being based on important things which are considered. So when a man plays with his wife that brings about a righteous son, training a horse and archery helps to strengthen ones body and helps to prepare for jihad in the way of Allaah.

          So the Prophet said that all forms of amusement are baatil except for those which bring about something worthy of consideration, and a man can only fulfil his desire from his wives by intercourse. However, some who we know from those whom we have benefitted from in terms of fiqh have stated that if intercourse is permissible then all that is lesser than it is also permitted, so from this point of evidence it (oral sex) is permissible. This is the evidence that Imaam al-Qurtubee mentions in his tafseer, that if intercourse is allowed then whatever is lesser than it is also allowed and he mentions this issue (of oral sex). He mentions this issue in his tafseer of Soorah al-Ahzaab wherein he relays a narration from Asbagh, one of the companions of Imaam Maalik, about a man who licks the vagina of his wife, Asbagh said I do not view that there is any problem in this, this is found in the tafseer of Imaam al-Qurtubee. Imaam al-Qurtubee also mentions a question is shameful speech with the wife allowed, Imaam al-Qurtubee stated that if intercourse is allowed then what is lesser than it is also allowed and Allaah knows best.

          Translator’s note [’AbdulHaq]: I spoke to our Shaykh on 18 May 2009 and he informed me that this is actually to be found in the tafseer of Soorat un-Noor when al-Qurtubee discusses the thirty-first ayah. It is mentioned herein that: “Asbagh from our ’Ulama said it is permissible for the man to lick it (i.e. the vagina) with his tongue.” Refer to Imaam al-Qurtubee, al-Jaami’ li-Ahkaam il-Qur’aan (Beirut: Daar Ihyaa Turaath al-’Arabee, 1405 AH/1985 CE), vol.12, p.232.
          Al-Mardaawee al-Hanbalee also stated in al-Insaaf that “it is permissible kiss the vagina before sex but it is disliked to do so after sex.” However, it has to be highlighted that if this may cause harm to either the husband or the wife then this is not to be done based on the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wassallam) “No harm and no causing harm (la darara wa la diraar)” reported by Aboo Sa’eed al-Khudree and reported by ad-Daaraqutnee, Imaam Maalik in his Muwatta and others.

          Shaykh Mis’ad al-Husaynee (Professor at Madeenah University) stated in a question and answer session regarding marital affairs on 23 February 2008 CE after 22 minutes into the session that: Allaah has blessed man and made his wife permissible to him for him to enjoy in that which Allaah has not prohibited. The issue of kissing the vagina, oral sex, and vis-a-versa (i.e. the wife sucking on the penis) is a matter which I am not able to say is haraam because our ’Ulama do not apply the term of “haraam” for those matters about which a text has not arrived which indicate such a prohibition. A matter may be haraam yet the text is not clear in indicating or deducing this so they will say that there is a dislike of the matter, so for example you will see that the ’Ulama say “Imaam Ahmad disliked it...” even though he viewed that it was impermissible. So the matter could be haraam but the texts are not clear in expressing such a prohibition so they will say that it is “disliked”.

          The prohibition of this action (of oral sex) is not what I say, but some fuqahaa have stated that it is disliked due to the man placing his mouth close the area of where urine is emitted from. So my brother you have the full body of your wife to enjoy, her head, her face, her breasts so you can enjoy kisses how you like from these, yet you leave all of this to go down to her vagina?! I view that this is not suitable for people to do, Allaah knows best.

          If you have more queries, please login and submit your question separately.

          Muhammad Waseem
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. asalaamolaikum .please i want to know that my huby isnot here,he is out of the country,he usually calls me at skype ,we both chat and make love there like touching ourself, is it halal? because this is the only source.

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