I have failed as a Muslim and a father as my children are not Muslim
I have been debatting about writing this post, but now I feel I have to, I can't hold it in It'll kill me, or drive me crazy. I married my wife who is Christian a year or two after I became a Muslim. I didn't bring up my religion to her in the form of getting her to convert, but I let her know about things I found out in Islam, hoping she would. She never did, and to this day remains a Christian.
We now have 4 children together, and none of them are Muslim. My oldest daughter wants to be Muslim, but that will have to wait until she reaches puberty. It's something I hope, and pray for. We are getting a divorce soon, It's almost final, but I'm afraid when that happens I'll have no more say on the way my children are raised, at least in the religious aspect. My Ex wife told me one day that she was rededicating her life to Christianity. I applauded her for it. I'm not against other religions. My happiness turned to distress when she told me she was going to raise the children Christian as well.
I feel I'm a failure as a Father, and as a Muslim. I have allowed my children to become Kafir. After my Ex wife told me her news I became a little depressed, actually I was already depressed because I lost my job at Swift & Company, a beef processing plant here in Texas, and we were living in a family shelter until we got on our feet. At that point my wife announced she was divorcing me, and I was out on the street. Now this news. I was to the point where I even stopped going to Jummah, and performing Salaat. I've only recently begun to perform prayers, and go to Jummah. I'm still depressed about the situation.
She (my ex wife) treats me like a dog, speaking down to me, etc. I give an adequate defense for myself, but I avoid most of her rantings. I'm often soft. spoken, and reserved until I've had enough, then I blow up. It's happened before, and now I have a stained record with a Class A misdomeanor for family violence. I don't blame her, It was my fault when the situation got too hot I should have walked away to cool off. One other thing that bothers me about this whole situation is my ex wife has some very violent misconceptions about Islam, she always has. I've tried to show her the truth of Islam, little of it she has accepted. One time my daughter asked her why she wasn't Muslim. She replied that she didn't want to belong to a religion that subjugates women. I was horrified she would tell my daughter such a thing. My daughter is extremly bright, but just as all children are impressionable. She'll try to put two and two together and get to thinking her father subjugates women!?
Another example occurred at a friend of my ex-wife's house my eldest daughter asked when Muslims held their worship services (Jummah) I told her on Fridays, and she asked if she could attend. I had no problem with her attending and learning about Islam, but she needed her mom, or a female family member their with her since she's only 7. I told her to ask her mom (already knowing what the answer would be). Her friend told her that her mom wouldn't allow her to go to a Mosque. Where did this friend of hers get the notion to answer my daughters question that was specifically for her mom!? Of course This lady had an extremly bad opinion of Muslims in general from being married to a so-called muslim who abused her. I didn't mean to make this post long, but I needed to vent a little steam. I apologize if I appear like a raving idiot, which I probrably do. But I need to get this off my chest.
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