Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to remarry, but not sure if my divorce is legal?

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Assalamu alaikom!

I was divorced  last year 2006  with my ex-husband but it was also by said/saying in front of my father, grand father and the front of people that witness us.

Then as we observed my idaah for 3months I got pregnant with him and for the reason that I don’t want him to come back anymore. I didn’t gave him a chance to come back to me until I delivered my baby.

My son is 3 yrs old now and I am planning to get remarried again Inshaallah. But I am afraid that it will not be halal for me because until now he is claiming that we are not divorced legally.

I am seeking for your advice... hope you answer my question ASAP.

Jazakallahukhair!

- Fatmah


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21 Responses »

  1. Dear Fatmah, Walaykumsalaam

    Your question is fiqh related and so you need to seek advice from a qualified mufti/imaam.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com, Editor

  2. Assalamualikum:

    I am not a jurist, and I do not have sufficient knowledge of fiqh. So whatever I have said below, you need to examine it with a jurist.

    When your husband divorced you, did he utter the word talaq (divorce) three times? If the answer is yes, then you have been divorced from your husband legally.

    If this is the case, you cannot re-marry your first husband (the father of your baby) unless you have married another person and had sex with him. Did you marry another person in the mean time?

    Also the second marriage after the divorce from the first husband has to be sincere. It has to be with the intention that you would be spending your whole life with your second husband. If problem arises in the second marriage and your second husband divorces you for sincere reasons, only then you can re-marry your first husband. Plus you have to have intercourse during your second married life.

    In the law of Allah, there are no loopholes. However, people invent loophole. Most people after the divorce resent it. So, the divorced wife simply marries another person just for few days and take divorce from him. Such second marriage and subsequent divorce do not make the woman and her first husband halal for re-marriage, since the second marriage was performed with the intention to remove the obstacle so that the marriage with the first husband can be arranged. This loophole is known as muhallah and Allah cursed such process.

    Among the halal things, divorce is something that is most detestable in the eyes of Allah . That is why He has laid such a strong criteria for re-marriage after divorce, so we understand that marriage is not something to play with.

    • blackhole, please don't confuse the matter. The practice of uttering talaq three times is haram and is a violation of the Sunnah. See this article for more details on this:

      Ruling on Triple Divorce

      The sister did not say anything about triple talaq, so there's no reason for us to bring it up or assume that it occurred.

      Certainly you are not implying that uttering divorce only once does not lead to a legal divorce. It's just the opposite. The proper Islamic practice is to utter the statement of divorce one time; then if the Iddah (waiting period) is fulfilled with no reconciliation occurring during that time, the couple are divorced. Not irrevocably divorced (they can remarry again if they choose), but still legally divorced.

      In this particular case it sounds like the sister did not fulfill her Iddah, and is probably not divorced. But Allah knows best. We don't have all the details and are not qualified to rule in this matter in any case. The sister needs to see an Imam or mufti.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Sister Fatmah, how on earth can you get pregnant during your Iddah and then think that the Iddah continues as if nothing happened? The Iddah requires no intimate physical contact between the two partners.

    Having sexual intercourse during the period of the Iddah breaks the Iddah, and the talaq (divorce) is considered voided.

    It sounds to me, just from the brief text you have written, that you are not legally divorced. But I don't know all the details and I am not qualified in any case to give a fatwa or ruling.

    As SisterZ said, I suggest you consult with a qualified Imam.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • salam!

      i just wan't to clarify, after the said talaq we separated. On 3mos of idaa i had found that i was pregnant. until i delivered my baby and until now i had no contact with him it was almost 4 years ago. divorced for just saying is a legal? even without legal paper etc..

      • Fatmah, thanks for clarifying that. I should not have assumed that the contact occurred during the Iddah. I seem to be making some wrong assumptions lately... I'll have to take my time when answering other questions, Insha'Allah.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • hi wael she could get married again,if he told her i divorce u and after the iddat [ the waiting period of a pregant woman during iddat is after she gives birth] and during that time ,he didnt give her any contact,so taht means they are officaly divorced and she is able to remarry

      • yeah its legel,because if he said to you that you are divorced once or u didnt want him and he said fine i divorce u,that means that u are divorced from him but if u guys decided to get remarried with him u can but if u dont want to u could go and marry someone else that will love u and treat u with respect,after saying three talaqs in different places and different times is not permissble for you to get remarried with him,unless u married someone else and get divorced from him then u become halal for the 1st husband,but saying three talaq in all in one time.is forbidden[haram] because talaq is taken seriously and its not a joke.so the answer is yes u can get remarried if he told you that i divorced u

        • Noora,

          Rules pertaining to marriage and divorce can be very complex, so unless we are qualified in the Fiqh of Marriage and Divorce we should not be making verdicts on such cases. Even a good qualified mufti/imaam will not make verdicts on such cases without all the details.

          We should refrain from answering such questions and refer the Sister to speak to a qualified person.

          SisterZ

      • Asalaamualaykum Fatmah,

        I actually thought that you had conceived during your iddah period aswell. It would have been more correct to say 'During my iddah period, I found out I was pregnant'.

        Thank you for clarifying.

        SisterZ

      • Can someone enlighten me here, as I am quite confused? From what I've read her divorce is legal by shari'a, but that cannot be 100% 'till she contacts Mufti/Imam, right? I understand that, but I do not understand if her divorce is legal under civil law. In the UK they have Islamic courts, so if her divorce is halal under such courts does it become legal in civil court as well? Does such legal logic apply to other places with shari'a rulings such as Pakistan? She mentions being without legal paper[work], so is her ex-husband correct in the sense the divorce is not legal under civil courts as she doesn't have legal paperwork even if the divorce is halal? Please pardon if I'm using the word shari'a wrong, I'm trying to differentiate between civil court and Islamic court.

  4. asalamu aleikum
    i have been divoced for six months now,i just wanted to find out is it ok to remarry my ex husband as i really have feelings for himand feel that i made a mistake,but i have been divoced more than three times,as this time has been the longest times that we have been apart from each other,the divoce has been done through angrer and til now we don't talk to each other,i wanted to make the move as it was my idea to get divoce,before i do that needed to find out if i can remarry my ex husband?

    • fatma, if you have been divorced from your ex-husband three times then according to Islam law you cannot marry him again. You say you feel you made a mistake, but apparently the two of you made the same mistake three times. That should tell you that you are not truly compatible.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. I want to get married my ex husband gve my Islamic talaq 3 times Wat should I do I want to get married

    • Hukrajkhan, we have dealt with this question many times, please do a search of our website. Jazak Allah khayr.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. i have married to my ex wife while we were in different countries, after few months we had few issue and she asked for divorce i told her ti dont want to divorce and told her to think about it, after period of time she said she want the divorce, i gave her one dalqa. After 6 months she said she wasnt feeling well and she made mistake. we havent met at all, means we didnt have anything sexual. will sharia allows to remarry

    thanks

  7. Ok, my question..I had Islamic nikka, then for visa porposes..we had cival marrage thru court. Now, if would divorce islamically...and not yet thru the court with cival marrage..(because paperwork takes up to a year to complete) would I still be considered married as far as islam is concerned? I have heard the cival marrage don't count you as married in Islam....so thinking if that is the case..answer would be no, not consider married.

    • Salaams,

      Yes, you are correct, if you divorce Islamically then you are divorced no matter what the status of the civil marriage is.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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